TSN fantasy source on Garland...start by start

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March 24th through today...weekly fantasy report on Jon G. Some pretty good laughs in here...

 

March 24, 2005 "he's not a serious option in mixed leagues just yet anyway. "

 

April 16, 2005 "it's still too early to add Garland in mixed leagues. "

 

April 20, 2005 "Garland gets the light-hitting A's next, so 4-0 is a real possibility."

 

May 1, 2005 "If you didn't pick up Garland before this hot streak, then you risk buying him as his value is peaking. If that's the case, then the only way to go is down for him. "

 

May 12, 2005 "The beat goes on for Garland, who already has surpassed expectations. Either we're in for a career year, or a big disappointment when he finally falters. "

 

May 24, 2005 "But his long-standing inconsistency makes me cautious about putting him in the top tier at this point."

 

May 29, 2005 "Garland’s strikeout rate is the lowest that it has ever been during his career, so do not be surprised if his ERA inches closer to 4.00 with every start. This would be a good time to sell high. "

 

June 4, 2005 "Have you traded Garland yet? He has allowed 11 runs in his last two starts. With a strikeout per nine-inning ratio still near four, it might be time to take what you can get for him before his ERA rises even closer to his career mark (4.56). "

 

June 15, 2004 "He walked three and allowed three home runs. Everything that Garland was done right this season went wrong. Three of his last four starts have been bad. Sell high! "

 

June 21, 2005 - 11:05 p.m.

Garland won his 12th game of the season Tuesday. He allowed one earned run and five baserunners in 8.1 innings.

Fantasy Source spin: Garland won 12 games in 2002, 2003 and 2004, and we're guessing that trend will end before the All-Star break this season.

[kapkomet]

LMFAO.

 

That is HILARIOUS.

 

How many times can they be wrong?

 

How many times can we all be wrong?

 

Jon, here's to you for proving almost ALL of us wrong.

 

Edited June 22, 2005 by kapkomet

[southsider2k5]

That is awesome. The Iraqi information minister must have found new work...

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Only in the very last post is their any HINT of contrition from these experts.

 

Newsflash TSN, he's gonna win twenty! Like it or not...

[Kyyle23]

That is awesome.  The Iraqi information minister must have found new work...

 

I missed that guys daily quotes when he dissapeared or died or whatever. If anything, he injected a slight bit of levity and humor in the war. The late night shows had a field day with his quotes.

[mreye]

I missed that guys daily quotes when he dissapeared or died or whatever. If anything, he injected a slight bit of levity and humor in the war. The late night shows had a field day with his quotes.

Quotes

[Kyyle23]

Quotes

 

My work server has that site blocked due to "jokes". No sense of humor in Ameriquest whatsoever.

[mreye]

Soory for the highjack, everyone.

 

"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"

 

"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"

 

"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"

 

"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"

 

"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."

 

"They're coming to surrender or be burned in their tanks."

 

"No I am not scared, and neither should you be!"

 

"Be assured. Baghdad is safe, protected"

 

"Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!"

 

"We are not afraid of the Americans.  Allah has condemned them.  They are stupid.  They are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."

 

"The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies."

 

"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have

started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We

will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."

 

"I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place."

 

"We have destroyed 2 tanks, fighter planes, 2 helicopters and their shovels - We have driven them back."

 

"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said, adding that the British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals" for such behavior.

"I am not talking about the American people and the British people," he said. "I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."

 

"We have them surrounded in their tanks"

 

"The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"

 

"I have detailed information about the situation...which completely proves that what they allege are illusions . . . They lie every day."

 

"Lying is forbidden in Iraq. President Saddam Hussein will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."

 

"Now even the American command is under siege. We are hitting it from the north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there. But at the end we are the people who are laying siege to them. And it is not them who are besieging us."

 

"because we will behead you all"

 

"Let the American infidels bask in their illusion"

 

"I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad."

 

Britain "is not worth an old shoe"

 

"we have given them a sour taste"

 

"blood-sucking bastards"

 

Of US troops: "They are most welcome. We will butcher them."

 

"We will welcome them with bullets and shoes."

 

"We are in control. They are in a state of hysteria. Losers, they think that by killing civilians and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards."

 

"The British forces which were dropped there have been eliminated mostly on the (battle)field, except for those who fled ... It is a complete defeat ... Amazingly the Americans have pushed the British to do that. They pushed them ahead as if it is an experiment. The result was very tragic for the British."

 

“We have placed them in a quagmire from which they can never emerge except dead”

 

"Washington has thrown their soldiers on the fire"

 

"I speak better English than this villain Bush"

 

"These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying"

 

"They're not even [within] 100 miles [of Baghdad]. They are not in any

place. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion ... they are

trying to sell to the others an illusion."

 

"Their failure in this regard is abysmal. They want to tell the world changes thought - as a matter of fact, they do not respect the world, they want to tell taxpayers and the domestic public to keep them deceived. We will embroil them, confuse them and keep them in the quagmire. They have begun to tell more lies so that they might continue with the perpetration of their crimes. May they be accursed."

 

"We will kill them all........most of them."

 

"They are like a snake and we are going to cut it in pieces."

 

"They do not even have control over themselves! Do not believe them!"

 

"I would like to clarify a simple fact here: How can you lay siege to a whole country? Who is really under siege now? Baghdad cannot be besieged. Al-Nasiriyah cannot be besieged. Basra cannot be besieged."

 

"That bastard the American Minister of Defense Rumsfeld, and I won't say shamelessly, because they don't know what shame means. These are criminals. The whole word can hear the warning sirens. This criminal sitting in the White House is a pathetic criminal and his Defense Minister deserves to be beaten. These criminals lie to the world because they are criminals by nature and conditioning. They consider this a military site! Shame on you! You will forever be shamed! You have ruined the reputation of the American people in the most terrible way! Shame on you! And we will destroy you!"

 

"They are trapped in Umm Qasr. They are trapped near Basra. They are trapped near Nasiriyah. They are trapped near Najaf. They are trapped everywhere."

 

Called Americans and Brits "Tarateer"– In Iraqi slang, Tartoor means a guy full of farts (i.e. hot air)

 

"they are nowhere near the airport ..they are lost in the desert...they can not read a compass...they are retarded."

 

"They are not in Baghdad.  They are not in control of any airport.  I tell you this.  It is all a lie.  They lie.  It is a hollywood movie.  You do not believe them."

 

"Faltering forces of infidels cannot just enter a country of 26 million people and lay besiege to them! They are the ones who will find themselves under siege. Therefore, in reality whatever this miserable Rumsfeld has been saying, he was talking about his own forces. Now even the American command is under siege."

 

"They tried to bring a small number of tanks and personnel carriers in through al-Durah but they were surrounded and most of their infidels had their throats cut."

 

"Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly."

 

"We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."

 

"On this occasion, I am not going to mention the number of the infidels who were killed and the number of destroyed vehicles. The operation continues"

 

"Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport."

 

"The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed."

 

"We're giving them a real lesson today. Heavy doesn't accurately describe the level of casualties we have inflicted."

 

"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."

 

"Today I have visited whole Baghdad city, no invaders found. You go and see how we have ousted them from this city. They are cying outside and waiting to receive bullets. They will be killed shortly."

 

"These images are not the suburbs of Baghdad. From what I glimpsed, these gardens with rows of palm trees on the side, which you saw in the images, are located in the south of Abu Ghreib, where we have surrounded the Americans and British."

 

When told coalition troops occupied Baghdad airport -

"...at Saddam Airport? Now that's just silly!"

 

"The situation is excellent, they are going to try to approach Baghdad...and I believe their grave will be there."

 

"NO", snapped Mr al-Sahaf, "We have retaken the airport. There are NO Americans there. I will take you there and show you. IN ONE HOUR!"

 

"We defeated them yesterday. God willing, I will provide you with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these mercenaries in a crematorium."

 

"Please, please! The Americans are relying on what I called yesterday a desperate and stupid method."

 

"They will be burnt. We are going to tackle them"

[Kyyle23]

I speak better English than this villain Bush

 

LOL, he was right about one thing at least. that list is too damn funny.