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Absoulutely hilarious.

http://www.bash.org/?top

I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.

It said my password wasn't long enough. :(

 

hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars

********* see!

hunter2

doesnt look like stars to me

*******

thats what I see

oh, really?

Absolutely

you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2

haha, does that look funny to you?

lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******

thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that

yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******

awesome!

wait, how do you know my pw?

er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw

oh, ok.

 

d-_-b

how u make that inverted b?

wait

never mind

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Im going to be the next hitler

Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown

why the clown

See? no one cares about the jews

lmao

 

can you help me install GTA3?

first, shut down all programs you aren't using

frank has quit IRC. (Quit)

...

 

I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
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<_kr4m3r> so many f***ing criminals, its bulls***

heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die

and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"

whatd u think they'd say?

something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

:aussie:

 

:aussie:

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Hilarious!!!

 

#4281 +(21576)- [X]

 

get up

get on up

get up

get on up

and DANCE

* nmp3bot dances :D-

* nmp3bot dances :D|-

* nmp3bot dances :D/-

i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

 

#23396 +(18088)- [X]

 

HEY EURAKARTE

INSULT

RETORT

COUNTER-RETORT

QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE

SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE f*** UP

NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM

RIPOSTE

ADDON RIPOSTE

COUNTER-RIPOSTE

COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE

NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON

RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES

WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

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My Favorite:

 

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

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I literally cried from laughter after I read this one:

 

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me b****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.

bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

bloodninja: Baby?

--------------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

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#258908 +(6889)- [X]

 

: If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.

: If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.

: Where u work?

: I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com

*** Ben174 ([email protected]) Quit (Leaving)

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Once again I cried from reading this one. It is just too damn funny:

 

  you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots

  I mean that is just some f***ED UP s***

  the Trix rabbit, for example

  I dunno man... if I were him I'd be f***ing KILLING some kids

  I remember a commercial where the f***in rabbit WENT INTO A f***IN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN f***IN MONEY.

  f***in kids came outta NOWHERE and basically f***in mug the poor stupid b**** rabbit

  "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"

  f***in rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.

  f*** NO that wouldn't fly with me

  I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those f***in b****es

  and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them b****es and THEN beat the s*** out of them some more.

  and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a f***in kid?

  I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot f***in RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think

  "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"

  NO.

  I'd be thinking

  "that's a 6 foot f***in RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the f*** was I just smoking?"

  another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"

  last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast

  they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a f***in grapefruit... who the f*** eats a breakfast that big

  not me

  I don't even EAT breakfast nomore

  I mean, I eat when I get up

  but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"

  b****, you make my f***ing sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the f***ing money

  don't give me that s***.

  Back to stupid cereal mascots...

  Lucky Charms.

  f***ING LUCKY CHARMS

  Lucky can turn the f***ing MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of f***ing 6 year olds?!?!?

  C'mon now, Lucky.

  I KNOW your b**** ass has got to have a "Blow the f***ing kids up" spell SOMEWHERE

  or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those b****es.

  "They're after me Lucky Charms!"

  ....

  KILL THEM, b****!

  I dunno why I went off on this rant here

  it's just always bothered me."

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#434593 +(5057)- [X]

 

*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'

* Anubis has joined #doghouse

what fraud?

You haven't heard about it?

no?

You can read the full story at http://www.tubgirl.c0m

omg wtf!

*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'

 

#142934 +(6104)- [X]

 

docsigma2000: jesus christ man

docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead

c8info: Why?

docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in f***ing EUROPE

docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE

docsigma2000: our f***ing phone bill is gonna be nuts

c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.

docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! f*** f*** f***

docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???

docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much

c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.

docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.

docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead

c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.

** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

 

#202477 +(3823)- [X]

 

(Mootar) morons.

(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless

(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network

(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways

(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

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QUOTE(Capn12 @ Jun 23, 2005 -> 03:09 AM)
Changed that web addy a bit so it doesn't work knightni...I don't want people goin to that webpage from here.

Whoops!

 

 

Me

:stupid

 

I didn't realize that it would be a a link when I pasted.

 

:bang

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These things were hilarious. I'm reading this thread, laughing more and more as go farther into it. Toward the end of the first page, my jaws and mouth are aching from laughing so much. Then I get to the internet-fraud/tubgirl one. Putting it mildly, I lose it. I'm laughing so hard that my head is down on the desk ... people at work are looking at me, and laughing ..... My eyes are watering immensely. I had to actually leave the building to regain my composure. Five minutes later I'm still laughing so hard I'm crying.

 

Damn.

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I was killed by a rabit in D&D once

lol

stupid DM

did it have big sharp pointy teeth?

\/\/\/\/\/

no! it didnt have squat.. I tripped over it and fell off a cliff

 

* Kederaji is now officially offended by the Red Cross.

How much blood did they want today?

Well, you know that questionnaire they ask you before they poke you with the needle?

Yeah.

Well, the guy took a look at me and started marking all the sex related questions as "No".

Didn't even bother to ask me, just marked them "No."

The bastard.

Was he right?

He was, but that's not the point!

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This one is brilliant! If this really went down like this, I really wish I had been there to see it, but thank the lord this stuff is someplace so we can all enjoy it:

 

haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk

we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first

took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out

i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh

What'd he say when he woke up this morning?

uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?

holy f***.

i f***ing hope im wrong about what im thinking right now

im f***ing going back to the beach to make sure

if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this

will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep s***.

quit: (DeadMansHand)

wtf? pete came home last night you f***. Ken's going to be worrying about this s*** all day

haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts

join: (PeteRepeat) ([email protected])

f***ing ken

ken... that f***er buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot

pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.

oh f***.

if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.

quit: (PeteRepeat)

rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.

i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

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QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Jun 23, 2005 -> 06:44 AM)
This one is brilliant! If this really went down like this, I really wish I had been there to see it, but thank the lord this stuff is someplace so we can all enjoy it:

That one was good.

 

This too:

 

what should I give sister for unzipping?

Um. Ten bucks?

no I mean like, WinZip?

 

:lolhitting

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I would like to add, that each month our quote of the month thread includes gems equal to and surpassing these. I am still laughing at LosMediasBlancas quote about get a blanket and popcorn, I think the weird neighbor boy is finally going to drill the dog.

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