Texsox Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 'fo sheezy. what the f*** does that mean in english? you should understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the language of the 'streets' as it were. So many gems, so little time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credepopsup Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass. j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3: thats it. bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credepopsup Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny. Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry. Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder. Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors? Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you. Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp. Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me. Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat! Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear. Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really. Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse. Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop. Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee! Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties. Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute. Sweetheart: What's the matter? Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking. Sweetheart: Are you OK? Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red. Sweetheart: Can I help? Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups? Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink. Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better. Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover. Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now. Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you. Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom? Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall. Wellhung: I found it. Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly. Wellhung: Me too. Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other. Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts. Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses? Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table. Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby! Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom. Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover. Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid. Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return. Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh! Sweetheart: What's the matter now? Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way. Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on. Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing. Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it! Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here. Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now! Wellhung: I'm flaccid. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection. Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face. Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong. Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse. Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles. Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face. Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser! Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo! Sweetheart:... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 I want to know what those are from. Is there some sort of phone sex thing out there but with chat rooms??? That bloodninja guy seems to hang out in them only to have a joke on them. That guy kills me!!! LOL!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credepopsup Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Jun 23, 2005 -> 02:53 PM) I want to know what those are from. Is there some sort of phone sex thing out there but with chat rooms??? That bloodninja guy seems to hang out in them only to have a joke on them. That guy kills me!!! LOL!!! They call it Cybersex - internet chat rooms where people go to "talk" dirty to eachother. There are plenty of them out there - Not that I use them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiff Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Those last couple that credespopup posted and the one kalapse posted before about the wizard hat are from another site with tons of chat logs where people just get screwed with. I can't find the actual site anymore, I think I saw it like two years ago originally. But someone posted a lot of them here . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credepopsup Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 (edited) Thanks for that link, Spiff. I copied those two that I posted, from a football (soccer) forum I post on. It's funny stuff, especially the bloodninja/Sweet17 conversation. sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Edited June 23, 2005 by Credepopsup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Geesh, I guess I understand the phone sex thing to a degree, I mean, we all like to be talked dirty to once in awhile (sorry if this is too much info...but admit it dammit), but to be TYPED to??? That just seems silly, and I can see why people would goof around with them like that bloodninja guy does. The 'net just opened up a whole new world of funky fetishes, didn't it??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 OMG, I can barely stand it. That was some hilarious s***. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 bloodninja is my new hero. Somebody get that guy into writing scripts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 YOU ALL SUCK DICK er. hi. A common typo. the keys are like right next to each other. Hey, you know what sucks? vaccuums Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? black holes Hey, you know what just isn't cool? lava? * ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm being an asshole - HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS Ouroboros: lets play Pong Ok. | . . | | . . | | . | . Whoops Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?! glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar! Who me?! Yes you! Couldn't be! Then WHO?!! Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar! *** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (f*** you i didn't touch the motherf***ing cookie, b****) the last one is the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 QUOTE(Tmar28 @ Jun 23, 2005 -> 10:26 AM) the last one is the best The game of Pong was f***ing sweeeeeet. Especially if you have ever played it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Jun 23, 2005 -> 09:27 AM) Geesh, I guess I understand the phone sex thing to a degree, I mean, we all like to be talked dirty to once in awhile (sorry if this is too much info...but admit it dammit), but to be TYPED to??? That just seems silly, and I can see why people would goof around with them like that bloodninja guy does. The 'net just opened up a whole new world of funky fetishes, didn't it??? QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Jun 23, 2005 -> 09:49 AM Post Number 65,739) OMG, I can barely stand it! SS practicing for that special post newborn baby time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 THIS is the quote of the 21st century: #364005 +(1008)- [X] Spreadursunshine: wow you werent online all yesterday EinhanderMKII: Yeah I was out doing things PRODUCTIVE Spreadursunshine: omg! its a breakthrough Spreadursunshine: like what? EinhanderMKII: fixing my internet Sorta funny, but true, true, TRUE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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