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The Hawk


jerseysox

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here is the profile. tell me this isn't the funniest thing ever.

 

btw, you have to imagine a picture of the hawk in the profile. here it is:

 

 

Gender: Male

Status: Married

Age: 63

Location: Chicago, IL

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Hometown: Woodruff, SC

Occupation: White Sox television play-by-play announcer

Companies: Comcast SportsNet, WGN, WCIU

Affiliations: Celebrity Golf Tour

Hobbies and Interests: Golf, long pauses for emphasis, disagreeing with DJ, bringing up the '67 Red Sox, yelling STRETCH! on any line drive, ribs from the Bertucci boys, putting DJ in his place, Yaz, starting every story with "I've been involved in baseball for 41 years now", enjoying sports talk radio now that Jay Mariotti is gone (still not sure about Burns and Boerstein though), putting down "Moneyball" while talking up the virtues of "Ozzieball", debating with spinmeisters

Favorite Books: Veeck As In Wreck

Favorite Movies: Eight Men Out, 61*, Major League, Bull Durham, The Kid From Left Field, Cobb, Pride of the Yankees, The Natural, Field of Dreams, Fear Strikes Out, Bang The Drum Slowly, The Bad News Bears, Caddyshack, Tin Cup, Happy Gilmore, The Legend of Bagger Vance

Favorite Music: Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye

Favorite TV Shows: Around The Horn (so I can flip off Mariotti when he comes on the screen)

About Me: So sit back, relax and strap it down as we bring you the finale of this three game set and D.J. will be back with the rest of the starting lineups.

 

Alright D.J. thank you and once again good evening everyone and welcome to White Sox baseball over Comcast SportsNet here from beautiful U.S. Cellular Field. 330 down the left field line, 335 down the right field line, 375 in the gaps and 400 to straightaway center field.

 

Before we show you our picks to click you at home select yours.

 

And all of us here at Comcast SportsNet would like to take a moment to welcome our affiliate, RCN Cable, and all our viewers in East Moline, Illinois. East Mo-LEEEEEEEN, Yes! (long pause) They got my money in East Moline.

 

I love it when you analyze.

 

You can cancel the postgame show.

 

Your what hurts?

 

GASSSS!

 

He GONE!

 

STRETCH!

 

Now let's take a look at our Heineken Picks to Click. Jim Angio and the crew went with Paulie, D.J. took Aaron Rowand, and Alex Nellius, Dan Roan and I are going to go with Tad Iguchi....

 

Grab some bench.

 

That's a hang wif um.

 

Can of corn.

 

Rack 'em up!

 

Duck snort.

 

I tell ya, Buehrle showed some stones out there tonight.

 

C'mon Paulie Boy...zone him in, reel him in, and light him up.

 

It's like I always say D.J. You're gonna win 60 games, and you're gonna lose 60 games. It's what you do with those other 42 that makes the difference.

 

Stay fair! (pause) It will.

 

Juanito has a gun for an arm.

 

Ball four base hit.

 

Aaron. AARon! AARONNNNNN!!!!

 

Ozzieball--It's an attitude.

 

This team has balance. We haven't had that in the past couple years.

 

C'mon Timo!!! C'MON TIMO!!! C'MON TIMO! HERE'S THE THROW......SAFE!!!!

 

High and deep to left field...GET UP! STRETCH!!! Stewart goes back, looks up...you CAN put it ON THE BOAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRD! YEEESSSSSSSSS!!!

 

Who I Want to Meet: A good caddie, less spinmeisters and more Friendsters like yourself. My first name is Hawk, last name Harrelson.

 

I love e-mail.

 

 

Hey, you forgot I LOVE COTTON CANDY :P

I enjoy his old stories. Hawk is the best. :notworthy

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QUOTE(greasywheels121 @ Jun 23, 2005 -> 04:46 PM)
He always says that on when there's at least 3 balls in the count.  He's kind of telling Konerko, or whoever the batter is, what they should try to do.

 

Take ball four and get the walk, or get a base hit....

 

Yaya, I got it :)

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