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Bat Girl

RockRaines

By RockRaines
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Kyyle23 Grand Master

Kyyle23

Posted
Posted
QUOTE(kapkomet @ Aug 26, 2005 -> 02:32 PM)
And you know this how?

 

because underneath the article, it says "Posted by jeb". her little group of "Bat-lings" get to post things if she deems it funny enough.

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Kyyle23 Grand Master

Kyyle23

Posted
Posted
QUOTE(Jeckle2000 @ Aug 26, 2005 -> 02:53 PM)
Shouldn't Timo play Enis?

 

I dont think Jeb grasps the relationships between the White Sox players like we do. he just put a face in there that was recognizable.

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  • 5 weeks later...
southsider2k5 Grand Master

southsider2k5

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Posted

I checked in with Bat-Girl for some giggles and wasn't disappointed..

 

after we liberated a young BatKitty #2 from the Humane Society, back when he was just a BatKitten, we took him to the vet to get his schnoobers removed. Why, I still remember the very day! The snow covered the earth like a white blanket. I wore red, the vet wore blue! What a lark! What a plunge!

 

Now, Batgirl has a lot of stuffed animals, including a rather corpulent stuffed bear by name of Pudge. About a year after he was removed of his schnoobers, BatKitty #2 developed a great affection for said stuffed bear and could often be found kneading that bear's pudgy belly, as cats do. It's a very cute behavior, probably stemming from trying to get milk from their momma's as babies. And, well, we thought it was adorable. "Look! BatKitty #2 is petting Pudgie!" But then, one day, during a particularly enthusiastic round of petting, we noticed his hips were really getting into the kneading action, really, they were moving back and forth quite a bit, almost as if they were gyrating…

 

Well, suffice to say we saw something we never wanted to see. And soon BatKitty #2 proved himself to have a great, well, affection for, not just that stuffed animal, but all stuffed animals. He would come into Batgirl's bedroom to find them all on the bed, resting so innocently, and he would put on his silk BatKitty bathrobe and sidle up to them and put on some Barry White and say, "How YOU doin'?"

 

Soon, we learned to put the stuffed animals in unhumpable places, and BatKitty #2 forgot about his weird fetish. But recently BatKitties #2 and #3 were wrestling and it seemed to give him some ideas and those hips started gyrating and, well, we saw something we never wanted to see again.

 

We've had several long talks with the BatKitties about inappropriate touching and about our strict no-humping policy, but for some reason it just hasn't taken. And the thing is, BatKitty #2 doesn't even know what he's doing—he doesn't have the mechanisms down correctly, it's just this instinct takes over sometimes at the sight of some really hot stuffed animal or, unfortunately, his adopted sister. If he were actually trying to procreate, let's just say he would be extremely unsuccessful.

 

The point is, BatKitty #2's attempts at making sweet love to both Pudgie the Stuffed Bear and BatKitty #3 remind me a lot of the Twins offense. There's a lot of yowling, a lot of flailing about, and absolutely no contact. It's all harmless, except for the nausea and the psychological scars.

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Soxy Grand Master

Soxy

Posted
Posted (edited)

Bat-girl today was also hilarious.

 

I would love to hang out with her, I think we'd get along. . .

 

And bonus for quoting my favorite Yeats poem yesterday!!!

Edited by ChiSoxyGirl
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Soxy Grand Master

Soxy

Posted
Posted

Okay this was also funny. And she used math--so it must be true!!!!!

 

I had recently suggested that the Sucking Force operating on the b**** Sox was greater than the one operating on us. That is not true. Math has never been Batgirl's strong suit. I think I've got it worked out into a simple equation. Will may need to help me out here, but I think I'm correct:

 

If "x" is the Twins Sucking Force and "y" is the b**** Sox Sucking Force and "K" is a Johan Santana start, then you get: x+K

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Gene Honda Civic Grand Master

Gene Honda Civic

Posted
Posted
QUOTE(ChiSoxyGirl @ Sep 26, 2005 -> 11:40 PM)
Okay this was also funny. And she used math--so it must be true!!!!!

 

I had recently suggested that the Sucking Force operating on the b**** Sox was greater than the one operating on us. That is not true. Math has never been Batgirl's strong suit. I think I've got it worked out into a simple equation. Will may need to help me out here, but I think I'm correct:

 

If "x" is the Twins Sucking Force and "y" is the b**** Sox Sucking Force and "K" is a Johan Santana start, then you get: x+K

The equation following this one was faulty given the parameters.

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Soxy Grand Master

Soxy

Posted
Posted

The point is, you and I, we are the only ones left. The lights are out and it is cold in here and I am so very, very hungry. Every once in awhile I think someone is coming to save me—I see a man with a blanket and some vegetarian Dome Dogs and he is smiling at me and he says, "Shh, shhh, it's going to be all right now, I am here to help you," but then I blink and he is gone. I do not care. I do not want to be saved—not yet. For these are my Twins and if they are going to spend the last games of the season getting hit in the nads with volleyballs, Batgirl will be there to watch every last bounce. For she is Batgirl, she is a Twins fan, and she needs serious and immediate psychological help.

 

 

Batgirl, I feel your pain I really do.

 

And although I loathe the Twins, I think it's a very admirable sentiment.

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