Funny College Stories...

[tonyho7476]

Ok, I'll start it off....I have lots of college stories, but I'll go with this one.

 

I was living in McCormick Hall at MArquette University. THe floor was all guys and we had to share a bathroom. Well, people were always doing nasty s*** to each other and I was no exception. The bathroom had a garbage can (small bathroom one) that was used by everyone on the floor. There were always pizza boxes, coffee grinds, and assorted bathroom items in it. This guy I know was doing his business in the stall (s***ting if you will), and I decided to dump the garbage all over him in the stall. I was laughing and he was ranting and raving and swearing revenge. I heard him say something about coffee grinds in his underwear. A bunch of guys were around laughing and I walked out of the bathroom. Suddenly I hear a commotion, turn around and I see this guy running out of the bathroom with his pants down. So I take off running to my room, get inside and lock the door. I'm looking through the peep-hole and I only see the back of his head. And then I hear the groans coming from others in the hall. Yep, he s*** in front of my door. I open the door, and there it was. I could only applaud him for getting me back.

 

One last note, did anyone else know that a folder was a good pooper scooper?

[tonyho7476]

What's the problem? No one likes my thread? I was expecting some great stories. Was mine just gross? Not funny?

[tonyho7476]

I laughed. However, I am only in my 4th week, so ill get back to you in a few months. 

 

Ahh, the good times are just starting. Enjoy!

[IlliniKrush]

I have quite a few funny college stories...or at least ones that are funny in the "had to be there" style.

 

I'll post a few later.

[bmags]

I laughed. However, I am only in my 4th week, so ill get back to you in a few months. 

 

yeah that

 

although i have some good ones from visiting my brothers in college...but those aren't appropriate at all for this message board.

[Brian]

I remember one instance where one of our friends on a different floor came down on a Sat morning to go to breakfast with us and he had his sheets in his hand. I made the mistake of asking why he had them and he gave me a peek and they were covered in blood.

Apparently the girl he was with that night wasn't very experienced or it was a certain time of month.

Gross enough?

[thedoctor]

ok, i'll bite.

 

i was a sophomore in college and one of my buddies had a huge party where they brought in a keg truck. the truck got there at about 10 a.m. and we started. at about 2 p.m. i was ready for a break, so i went out and got a burrito, extra beans.

 

we went back to the party about 4 p.m. and started again. by 11 p.m. i was totally faced and had to take a bad s***. there was only one working toilet in this place, so i got in line. i was doing ok, but there was one guy in front of me in line and i started cramping bad. he went in, and i just couldn't hold it anymore.

 

i was panicking, and i noticed to my left was a closet where their hot water heater was. i stepped in, dropped trou and let loose. as i'm s***ting, i'm thinking, what the hell am i going to wipe with? then i notice to my left is a roll of toilet paper, almost put there by the lord himself just for me. so i wrap up my biz, wipe, wait for the guy in the john to leave and made my getaway.

 

i heard nothing of this for awhile. the party finished up, i went home and figured it was forgotten. then like two weeks later one of the guys started complaining that there was a stench in the basement they couldn't get rid of. i said nothing. a week after that one of the guys is like "you'll never believe it, i finally tracked that stench and found a big pile next to the hot water heater. who would do something like that."

 

i was like "yeah, what an asshole."

[tonyho7476]

ok, i'll bite.

 

i was a sophomore in college and one of my buddies had a huge party where they brought in a keg truck. the truck got there at about 10 a.m. and we started. at about 2 p.m. i was ready for a break, so i went out and got a burrito, extra beans.

 

we went back to the party about 4 p.m. and started again. by 11 p.m. i was totally faced and had to take a bad s***. there was only one working toilet in this place, so i got in line. i was doing ok, but there was one guy in front of me in line and i started cramping bad. he went in, and i just couldn't hold it anymore.

 

i was panicking, and i noticed to my left was a closet where their hot water heater was. i stepped in, dropped trou and let loose. as i'm s***ting, i'm thinking, what the hell am i going to wipe with? then i notice to my left is a roll of toilet paper, almost put there by the lord himself just for me. so i wrap up my biz, wipe, wait for the guy in the john to leave and made my getaway.

 

i heard nothing of this for awhile. the party finished up, i went home and figured it was forgotten. then like two weeks later one of the guys started complaining that there was a stench in the basement they couldn't get rid of. i said nothing. a week after that one of the guys is like "you'll never believe it, i finally tracked that stench and found a big pile next to the hot water heater. who would do something like that."

 

i was like "yeah, what an asshole."

 

That's a good one...and they don't have to be gross stories.

 

I got another one...

 

We were in high school, visiting U of I. We drank at my friend's brother's house, and then went to a girl's apartment. We had a buddy who passed out at the table. So the girl busted out the dry erase markers, and the fun began. We started small...curly mustache, swastika on the forehead, colored inside his ears...and then we decided to draw a giant penis on his back. It went from ass to neck and said USA on it...it was beautiful.

 

We carried him home, dropped him on the couch and went to bed. In the morning, we wake up and start nudging each other awake(we were sleeping in sleeping bags on the floor in the next room). He goes in the bathroom and we here 'Jesus Christ, what did you guys do to me?' We're laughing and s***...and he takes his shower. After he is all clean, we tell him to look on his back. He scrubbed and scrubbed but it wouldn't come off. For the next two weeks, we would pull his shirt up at school and show everyone.

 

I don't know if we had anything to do with it, but he turned out to be gay!

[ZoomSlowik]

Some of mine are better than others, so I'll start out with a couple of my best ones.

 

We all had a typical Tuesday night. By that I mean wine night at Clyborne with all of us coming back absolutely blasted. A bunch of the guys on the floor were hanging out in the lounge at a late hour of night (not exactly sure when). Suddenly we hear one of the guys a couple of doors down going absolutely ballistic. Apparently the guy who lives next door to him was really hammered, and he made the mistake of leaving his door open. The guy from next door staggered into his room, dropped his pants, and starting peeing on his desk. Personally I don't think this would have been anywhere near as funny if it had been his desk or his roommate's desk. Imagine someone you only sort of know wandering into your romm at 2 in the morning and taking a leak on your desk. I still crack up when I tell the story.

 

There was another incident that was similar. One of the guys has a somewhat low alcohol tolerance and ends up passed out in bed at least every other week. His roommate is a much more prodigious drinker, and although he doesn't get absolutely blitzed often, he's had some bad ones. In one of those incidents, he ended up passed out in the hallway surrounded by small glasses of water with shaving cream on his pillow. In this story, he walks into his room late at night. The lighter drinker sleeps on the lower bunk, and while the heavier drinker was getting ready to go to sleep, he promptly pissed right on his roommate.

 

The last one involves me. I don't drink that often, but I typically drink in large quantities when I do. This usually leads to one of two things: me being extremely lethargic and sleepy, or me being very loud and goofy. Obviously the latter is more entertaining, and it occurred on my 20th birthday. I hung out at a friend's apartment a lot that year, and some of his friends from home came down that weekend. I brought a bottle of tequila, some sweet and sour mix, and some blue curacao with the intent of making margaritas. Instead, I ended up doing double shots of tequila frequently while they all encouraged me. We started at about 7:30 and were planning on going to the bars after about 2 hours. By then the tequila was gone (mostly my doing) and the other guys were desperate enough to drink the other crap straight. At this point I could barely walk, but I still managed to stagger to the bar with minor incident (I ran into a light pole, and one of those little stone structures along the street that don't seem to serve a purpose). However, I was wearing a shirt that said "I put out on the first date, but no big b****es" after a few rounds. Upon entering the bar I basically fell on the poor woman taking cover, then sat there in a coma at the table for a while (my friends kept shoving drinks under my face). All the sudden I jumped up and virtually ran to the bathroom for obvious purposes. On my way back, the guys found what had to be the three fattest chicks in the bar to dance with me, which got awkward after they saw my shirt. Later, while hanging out back at their apartment, I managed to snort a shot of margarita mix for some unknown reason, say numerous beligerant and inane things that I can't remember, and eventually fall off of the chair because I couldn't hold myself up anymore. I simply lie there on the floor because I didn't have the energy to get up. While there, they poured most of the sweet and sour mix in my hair and sprayed me with febreeze so I wouldn't smell like booze. I woke up in the same spot the next morning.

[Rich McKinney]

Ok, I'll start it off....I have lots of college stories, but I'll go with this one.

 

I was living in McCormick Hall at MArquette University.  THe floor was all guys and we had to share a bathroom.  Well, people were always doing nasty s*** to each other and I was no exception.  The bathroom had a garbage can (small bathroom one) that was used by everyone on the floor.  There were always pizza boxes, coffee grinds, and assorted bathroom items in it.  This guy I know was doing his business in the stall (s***ting if you will), and I decided to dump the garbage all over him in the stall.  I was laughing and he was ranting and raving and swearing revenge.  I heard him say something about coffee grinds in his underwear.  A bunch of guys were around laughing and I walked out of the bathroom.  Suddenly I hear a commotion, turn around and I see this guy running out of the bathroom with his pants down.  So I take off running to my room, get inside and lock the door.  I'm looking through the peep-hole and I only see the back of his head.  And then I hear the groans coming from others in the hall.  Yep, he s*** in front of my door.  I open the door, and there it was.  I could only applaud him for getting me back.

 

One last note, did anyone else know that a folder was a good pooper scooper?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I thought you said this was a funny story?

[bmags]

I thought you said this was a funny story?

 

i thought it was funny

[tonyho7476]

I thought you said this was a funny story?

 

Why are you on this message board?

[Milkman delivers]

There's plenty of stories, but this one I'm extremely proud of. It's short and sweet.

 

I was absolutely obliterated one time during freshman year, and I don't even remember doing this, but I successfully peed while doing the grapevine (the thing from gym class where you run sideways and keep switching your feet over and over). They told me in the morning, and I looked down at my pants to see if I had "spilled" and I was completely clean. And I still have two more years...

[Kyyle23]

We had a party in our place one time, and around 9:30 noone was really there yet except our close friends who wanted to be front and center at our bar. One of our ditzier friends went into our downstairs bathroom (where everyone was, upstairs was off-limits) and proceeded to drop one off. Keep in mind, our Kegs were in the downstairs bathroom in the bathtub. So, of course about 50 people show up at the same time and start buying cups and asking where the Keg was. The crowd became a little restless and started banging on the door, and finally she comes waltzing out, with the odor of s*** wafting out the door with her. I will never forget an entire party pointing and laughing, she turned about 3 different shades of red. But hey, you gotta know better to take care of your business BEFORE you go out.