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I Got a C


GoRowand33

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QUOTE(GoRowand33 @ Nov 2, 2005 -> 06:30 PM)
My english teacher gave me a C about my narrative story about the thrill of watching the white sox this year saying, "You needed to choose a topic that really shows who you are"

 

:bang

Can we have her email address, please?

 

:lolhitting :lolhitting :lolhitting

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QUOTE(GoRowand33 @ Nov 2, 2005 -> 05:30 PM)
My english teacher gave me a C about my narrative story about the thrill of watching the white sox this year saying, "You needed to choose a topic that really shows who you are"

 

:bang

 

to quote Walter Solcjek from "The Big Lebowksi"

 

That f***in' b****!
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QUOTE(GoRowand33 @ Nov 2, 2005 -> 05:30 PM)
My english teacher gave me a C about my narrative story about the thrill of watching the white sox this year saying, "You needed to choose a topic that really shows who you are"

 

:bang

 

You teach is obviously a women (no offense) and doesn't feel or appreaciate the emotional ride and sometimes attachement we feel to our sports teams. I did a powerpoint Presentation on US Celluar Field and the rennovations for my Technical Writing class and got an A, the teacher said her husband's company are sox season ticket holders and she was interested in seeing my presentation becuase she knew they were renovated it and wanted to see how it went. I guess it all depends on your teacher.

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QUOTE(joeynach @ Nov 2, 2005 -> 05:40 PM)
You teach is obviously a women (no offense) and doesn't feel or appreaciate the emotional ride and sometimes attachement we feel to our sports teams.  I did a powerpoint Presentation on US Celluar Field and the rennovations for my Technical Writing class and got an A, the teacher said her husband's company are sox season ticket holders and she was interested in seeing my presentation becuase she knew they were renovated it and wanted to see how it went.  I guess it all depends on your teacher.

 

Your right

 

she didn't understand that the whitesox are part of who I am

 

The paper was a narrative about an event that involves me that happened in a span of a couple hours for my freshman english class

 

Heres the paper(I'll accept any criticism:

 

 

 

The Rally Crede

The Stage was set for baseball. The White Sox have held a lead in the division for every game of the year. Suddenly things were not going well. The Cleveland Indians have gone on a tear. With just 11 games left to go in the season the sox holding a slim lead. To escalate the pressure even more, the White Sox were to play Cleveland tonight. Last nights action had raised the tension for the White Sox. Suffering a crushing defeat the night before the Sox were finding themselves in must win situations.

The game began much like the night before, poor execution by offense and unreliable pitching. By the second inning the Sox had already put the pressure on themselves to strain an offense that had been performing as if it was in the minors. Win or Die Trying is their slogan. It appeared as if they were going to die trying in this game. However as the game inched on in front of my T.V. screen I begin to see a change of attitude in the clubhouse. Manager Ozzie Guillen was on his feet keeping spirits up. The crowd was tiny, but they were louder than most sellouts. They were almost willing the team to score. As the game reaches its latter innings we have managed to devastatingly loose the lead, and miraculously tie it back, several times. As the score changed so did my mood. When we were losing I was thinking great, there go all playoff hopes. As they kept clawing back my mood would switch to all is well in White Sox nation.

As the game became more and more intense I am so caught up with the game that I begin to narrate every little detail to three people. Even if they did not care about baseball, they were still excited outcome of the battle. Online fans that failed to show up, crashed the server on White Sox message boards, eager to discuss every moment of the game as it progresses.

Unfortunately as we reach the ninth inning the whole season is starting to feel like a waste. The game was tied up; but we might as well of been down 100 the way it felt watching this game. Even when me managed to steal a lead in the eighth inning, poor managing led to another collapse. Our bullpen had become overworked we were forced to throw in our rookie who blew the previous game. Watching this inning was like a North-Side fan watching the cubs choke in 2003. Amazingly, our pitcher works his way out a jam and we have a tie game going into the ninth inning.

First two batters reach base. I have turned the volume up on my T.V. full blast to hear the crowd roar with every pitch. Our excitable announcers moods had started to grow, as all we needed was a base hit to win this critical game. However in this inning we would die trying, as more failure to execute simple tasks killed the rally.

Into extra innings the game went. My optimism was killed, but not enough for me to turn off the game, or the volume. Statistics were not on our side. At U.S Cellular Field in extra-inning games, the Sox had not won once. With no expectations I continue to watch the game unravel, even if I was certain they would blow it. Our pitcher with the bad back was in, so I was expecting a lead change in this inning, but I got lucky and he pitched a scoreless tenth.

Joe Crede was batting for the White Sox, I was looking at my computer screen, typing my usual rounds of narration when it happened. I missed the home run, but I heard all wanted to know, “He looks up and you can put it on the board…YES!

 

 

 

Note:I am aware that not all the facts are correct in terms of events

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First, you change from present to past tense in every other sentence, but that's not the issue.

Second, you may not have mentioned enough of your personal feelings.

However, it could also be that english teachers have the right to grade in whatever way they choose based on their views of what is right. I'm not trying to piss anyone off, but this is my experience. I had a similar teacher in high school that gave c's to every guy in the class while giving A's to every girl whether they did the assignment or not. She was an open feminist and took issue with anything guys in class did.

 

I don't know if what you wrote was great as compared to the rest of the class, but the reasons she gave are ridiculous. You have to sit down with her and explain why this was important. Based on my experience, I would ask around and see if you were singled out.

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QUOTE(G&T @ Nov 2, 2005 -> 06:46 PM)
First, you change from present to past tense in every other sentence, but that's not the issue.

Second, you may not have mentioned enough of your personal feelings.

However, it could also be that english teachers have the right to grade in whatever way they choose based on their views of what is right. I'm not trying to piss anyone off, but this is my experience. I had a similar teacher in high school that gave c's to every guy in the class while giving A's to every girl whether they did the assignment or not. She was an open feminist and took issue with anything guys in class did.

 

I don't know if what you wrote was great as compared to the rest of the class, but the reasons she gave are ridiculous. You have to sit down with her and explain why this was important. Based on my experience, I would ask around and see if you were singled out.

 

I think she mentioned something In terms of saying how I felt a lot or using a lot of adjectives, so I played it safe with feelings

 

Don't think I was singled out

 

I think what she was looking for was an experience that was life changing, but as far as all her criteria for the assignment I followed it

 

If I wanted my grade to change I would have to rewrite my paper on a new topic

:fight

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QUOTE(GoRowand33 @ Nov 2, 2005 -> 07:30 PM)
Your right

 

she didn't understand that the whitesox are part of who I am

 

The paper was a narrative about an event that involves me that happened in a span of a couple hours for my freshman english class

 

Heres the paper(I'll accept any criticism:

       

 

I can see why you got a "C" :P

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QUOTE(Balta1701 @ Nov 2, 2005 -> 08:58 PM)
I'm just going to sit here in my chair in an academic building and pray that you're not genuinely being serious, and that you realize the irony in that statement.

 

well, you know what they say...those who can't do, teach.

 

i would put that in green because im joking but i dont know how

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QUOTE(G&T @ Nov 2, 2005 -> 08:46 PM)
First, you change from present to past tense in every other sentence, but that's not the issue.

 

Props for being the only one to notice that (sometimes mid-sentence), it drove me nuts. But I don't want to be an ass about it.

 

A little more explanation about how it affected you (GoRow) emotionally might have helped. Maybe set it up more with how them losing had gotten you down and the win made you that much happier. And the first sentence, it doesn't really mean anything.

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