Steff Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 I had to run to the mall tonight, specifically to Sam Goody's to get a few gift cards... I saw the most uncomfortable thing I'm sure I have ever seen in my life... A woman walked through the entrance - where they have those sensor things that beep if people try to steal stuff - her little girl, maybe 4 possibly 5, was walking behind her. For whatever reason, the beeping thing goes off. Poor thing obviously scared from the noise just began crying. The woman heard her, turned around, walked over to her and rather than scooping up the child and trying to calm her she yanked her by the arm and said "what did you do now you little b****" Me and another customer just stood there with our jaws dropped... She proceeded to grab at the poor thing looking for whatever made the thing go off. The clerk, who saw that they had just walked in, went over to assure the woman that it was not a theft issue, and the woman went into a verbal attack that would shame a truck driver. It just broke my heart, made me livid, shocked me and I don't know even know what else. Yet I stood there frozen, doing nothing. Not ever seeing something like that but reading about the horrible offenses against children I always thought I would interject if I ever did see something like that. The woman was SO angry I thought, good grief she might take me out if I open my mouth and that's not going to help the child, will she go home and do even worse??? They say that many times what happens in public is not even close to the treatment behind closed doors... What could I have done.. no idea. But I'm sitting here thinking I did nothing.. and I'm scared for that little girl... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 That is pretty messed up Steff. Honestly, it is not your business but it was definitely right of you to be concerned. Unfit parents is all that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Middle Buffalo Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 I'm pretty sure that woman won't be too receptive to any parenting tips you might give her. More than likely you'd just make her angrier and she'd treat the kid worse when she gets home. Unless it gets physical, stay away. Pretty sad. Say a prayer for the girl - and her mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowand44 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(SoxFan1 @ Dec 1, 2005 -> 09:35 PM) That is pretty messed up Steff. Honestly, it is not your business but it was definitely right of you to be concerned. Unfit parents is all that is. I think it's everybodies business when someone is treating a child that way. Anyways, steff that's a very tough situation to react to. You almost have to train yourself to be prepaired for a situation like that, if that makes any sense. I think a lot of people would have done what you did and just froze, I think that's the normal reaction to something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Middle Buffalo @ Dec 1, 2005 -> 09:38 PM) I'm pretty sure that woman won't be too receptive to any parenting tips you might give her. More than likely you'd just make her angrier and she'd treat the kid worse when she gets home. Unless it gets physical, stay away. Pretty sad. Say a prayer for the girl - and her mom. As I said above.. those were my exact thoughts as it all went down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 There is really nothing you can do. Unless she got physical with the child, I wouldnt have stepped in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Middle Buffalo Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Steff @ Dec 1, 2005 -> 08:40 PM) As I said above.. those were my exact thoughts as it all went down. I was thinking it before you said it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Rowand44 @ Dec 1, 2005 -> 09:39 PM) I think it's everybodies business when someone is treating a child that way. Anyways, steff that's a very tough situation to react to. You almost have to train yourself to be prepaired for a situation like that, if that makes any sense. I think a lot of people would have done what you did and just froze, I think that's the normal reaction to something like that. I don't know what happened.. I couldn't move. I'm sure it will come as no shock to anyone here.. I am rarely at a loss for words.. The other customer said after the woman left that if she had hit the child they were going to step in... I think I would have called security or something. Had them follow her. I don't think I could have confronted her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Steff @ Dec 1, 2005 -> 11:44 PM) I don't know what happened.. I couldn't move. I'm sure it will come as no shock to anyone here.. I am rarely at a loss for words.. The other customer said after the woman left that if she had hit the child they were going to step in... I think I would have called security or something. Had them follow her. I don't think I could have confronted her. Ya, look at your post count. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Middle Buffalo @ Dec 1, 2005 -> 09:42 PM) I was thinking it before you said it. ESPn... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxy Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 When I see something like that happen I usually try to compliment the kid. I either say to the "parent" (loosely defined) what a cute kid or something of that nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoCalSouthSider59 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Wow, not even cool, poor little girl..........To the woman i say...........> :finger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Soxy @ Dec 1, 2005 -> 10:06 PM) When I see something like that happen I usually try to compliment the kid. I either say to the "parent" (loosely defined) what a cute kid or something of that nature. I wish I would have thought of that.. although, she was frisking the kid at warp speed and the entire thing happened in I would guess no more then 40 seconds. I might have been the one to get the verbal lashing... that would have been bad... for the mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxy Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Steff @ Dec 2, 2005 -> 12:22 AM) I wish I would have thought of that.. although, she was frisking the kid at warp speed and the entire thing happened in I would guess no more then 40 seconds. I might have been the one to get the verbal lashing... that would have been bad... for the mom. Oh yeah, I've gotten better about not wanting to pick a fight, but once in the Walmart an ex of mine literally had to drag me away from this woman. Literally, pullling both of my arms and dragging me away (probably the closest I've ever come to getting arrested). I've found I get much more satisfaction saying something nice to the kid, although I sitll get physically ill after watching that. I hate people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Soxy @ Dec 2, 2005 -> 12:26 AM) Oh yeah, I've gotten better about not wanting to pick a fight, but once in the Walmart an ex of mine literally had to drag me away from this woman. Literally, pullling both of my arms and dragging me away (probably the closest I've ever come to getting arrested). I've found I get much more satisfaction saying something nice to the kid, although I sitll get physically ill after watching that. I hate people. I hate you too! :Runs off like a girl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sox4lifeinPA Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 and why exactly aren't pharmacists handing out the morning after pill like it was cheetos??? is there a color for half kidding/serious? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Soxy @ Dec 1, 2005 -> 10:26 PM) Oh yeah, I've gotten better about not wanting to pick a fight, but once in the Walmart an ex of mine literally had to drag me away from this woman. Literally, pullling both of my arms and dragging me away (probably the closest I've ever come to getting arrested). I've found I get much more satisfaction saying something nice to the kid, although I sitll get physically ill after watching that. I hate people. I tossed and turned all night.. :headshake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DBAHO Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 My thoughts have been pretty much echoed in this thread. It's really a tough situation. You know it's not right what's happening, but if you step in, you could make it worse for the child even though you didn't mean it and that's not what you want to get out of it. Unfortunately some parents are just like that, and it's sad and not fair on the child at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afacio Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Some people have no business raising animals, let alone children. I HOPE the mother was just having a bad day (albeit, a REAL bad day), and that this wasn't the norm. Sadly, since this took place in public, (where you would think she would use some restraint), I'm probably wrong. I was stopped at a red light once and across the street to my right I saw a little kid, by herself, running towards the street. The mother, ambling behind her at about 30 paces, just stands there. Finally when it looked like the kid was going to run into the street, the mother runs up, grabs her and smacked her in he ass for almost running in the street. I yelled at her out the window "maybe if you were paying attention nothing would have happened you stupid b****". I felt like getting out of my car and giving her the same treatment but I would have been the goof to get arrested. Plus she was off to my right and it was a one way street going the other way. Sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockRaines Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Middle Buffalo @ Dec 1, 2005 -> 09:38 PM) I'm pretty sure that woman won't be too receptive to any parenting tips you might give her. More than likely you'd just make her angrier and she'd treat the kid worse when she gets home. Unless it gets physical, stay away. Pretty sad. Say a prayer for the girl - and her mom. 12 years later, that girl will be in porn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Chappas Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Look at her like she is complete fool, (like most people look at me normally) and just say as much as a wise ass as you can, "Relax" and walk away. If the person confronts you so be it. The simplist and easist way to belittle someone in as few a words and as clean a language as possible is the way to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthSideSox72 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Given that what you saw probably didn't constitute assault or battery (which are seperate things, contrary to what Hollywood tells you), you couldn't do much from a legal standpoint. But if she really started hitting her, and I mean more than a spanking, here is something for everyone to keep in mind. In Illinois, and most states nowadays (I know Colorado for sure), any type of domestic assault or battery, on an adult or child, no longer requires a victim-complainant for charges to be filed. In other words, if you witness someone beating their spouse or child, you can indeed call the authorities, and have them arrested. You can be the complainant, or the police can even do that on behalf of the state - so the victim does not need to "file charges", or even agree with filing charges. If someone's safety is at risk, you can even hold the suspect in non-forcible custody, though I don't recommend anyone do that without some training. No guarantee the prosecution would ultimately succeed, of course. Just something to keep in mind, if anyone ever sees such a thing. I dealt with a lot of this in a previous profession. But whatever you do, don't put yourself in danger. Do only what you feel is OK for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 She said "I'm going to beat your ass" repeatedly.. that is assult, is it not? And she was tugging on the poor things arm so hard I wouldn't doubt if it came out of the damn socket.. I wasn't aware of that law. Thanks for the heads up. I'll definitely keep it in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthSideSox72 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(Steff @ Dec 2, 2005 -> 05:41 PM) She said "I'm going to beat your ass" repeatedly.. that is assult, is it not? And she was tugging on the poor things arm so hard I wouldn't doubt if it came out of the damn socket.. I wasn't aware of that law. Thanks for the heads up. I'll definitely keep it in mind. It's such a tough area with kids. With adults, it's easy. If one adult says to another, "I'm gonna beat your ass," then that's assault. Kind of weak, but it does threaten imminent harm. But, as bizarre as it seems, this culture gives some leeway in that regard to parents disciplining kids. And that line is not consistent in the law, or easy to determine. For me, I'd probably have to see something more than a slap or a spanking, but I can't say for sure where the line is. More so than any aspect of that job, I hated having to intervene where kids were involved. Just made my stomach ball up every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 QUOTE(NorthSideSox72 @ Dec 2, 2005 -> 04:45 PM) It's such a tough area with kids. With adults, it's easy. If one adult says to another, "I'm gonna beat your ass," then that's assault. Kind of weak, but it does threaten imminent harm. But, as bizarre as it seems, this culture gives some leeway in that regard to parents disciplining kids. And that line is not consistent in the law, or easy to determine. For me, I'd probably have to see something more than a slap or a spanking, but I can't say for sure where the line is. More so than any aspect of that job, I hated having to intervene where kids were involved. Just made my stomach ball up every time. I'm not a hitter.. so that line bugs the hell out of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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