Creationist Science Fair Winners

[sox4lifeinPA]

This is probably old, but

 

here are my favorites

 

"My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)"

Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.

 

 

"Women Were Designed For Homemaking"

Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

[FlaSoxxJim]

 

I heard the Creationist Science Fair begins every year at nightfall in the evening preceding October 23rd. . .

 

[/erudite joke grenade for PA or Soxy OR BALTA]

Edited December 23, 2005 by FlaSoxxJim

[Balta1701]

 

I heard the Creationist Science Fair begins every year at nightfall in the evening preceding October 23rd. . .

 

[/erudite joke grenade for PA or Soxy]

[FlaSoxxJim]

 

Fixed/ OK, the pressure's on you now.

[Balta1701]

Fixed/  OK, the pressure's on you now. 

So if I got the joke but don't want to spoil it, what 17th century monk should I explain it to?

[FlaSoxxJim]

So if I got the joke but don't want to spoil it, what 17th century monk should I explain it to?

 

Just happy to know you're successfully Ushering in the Christmas season (or, conversely, good to see you are happily beating the Bishop).

 

Edited because I kan't spel for s***.

Edited December 23, 2005 by FlaSoxxJim

[Mercy!]

  Just happy to know you're successfully Ushering in the Christmas season (or, conversely, good to see you are happily beating the Biship). 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dang. I was going to make an Edgar Allen Poe joke, spelling Ussher incorrectly. But I see you did it for me.

 

Edit: Maybe this is deeper than I thought. Now that I see the good Archbishop is further demeaned in your post.

Edited December 23, 2005 by Mercy!

[FlaSoxxJim]

Dang.  I was going to make an Edgar Allen Poe joke, spelling Ussher incorrectly.  But I see you did it for me.

 

Edit:  Maybe this is deeper than I thought.  Now that I see the good Archbishop is further demeaned in your post.

Ah, yes. Layers upon layers. Like an onion, as Schrek would say.

 

Now don't tell me you want on the erudite joke grenade mailing list as well?

[Mplssoxfan]

Ah, yes.  Layers upon layers.  Like an onion, as Schrek would say.

 

Now don't tell me you want on the erudite joke grenade mailing list as well? 

Okay, smartypants, what's the date of the beginning of the flood?

[FlaSoxxJim]

Okay, smartypants, what's the date of the beginning of the flood?

Ask Mike Brown.

 

Just Kidding. He did a heckuva job.

 

No, the good Bishop said it was 2348 BC. On a Thursday, I believe.

[Mplssoxfan]

Ask Mike Brown. 

 

Just Kidding.  He did a heckuva job. 

 

No, the good Bishop said it was 2348 BC.  On a Thursday, I believe.

Actually, I was thinking of a date which would become infamous many years later.

[FlaSoxxJim]

Actually, I was thinking of a date which would become infamous many years later.

Hmmm. I'm stumped. PA???

[Mplssoxfan]

Actually, I was thinking of a date which would become infamous many years later.

 

There's a clue in the way I composed this sentence.^^^