The Beast Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Sox Offseason By Ross Meister Associate Editor For the first time in 88 years, the Chicago White Sox, managed by Ozzie Guillen were World Series Champions, sweeping the Astros four games to none. After the playoffs, the White Sox had a lot of question marks for their 25 man roster. White Sox General Manager Kenny Williams had many decisions he needed to make in the off-season, addressing the issue of re-signing free agent slugger Paul Konerko long term, whether to let an injury prone fan favorite in Frank Thomas go, and how he could improve his ball club throughout the Winter Meetings. In November Williams went out and exercised a 3.5 million dollar player option buy out on Frank Thomas, who had been with the White Sox for the past 15 years, batting a career .307 and hitting 448 home runs in his career with the Sox. On Thanksgiving Day, the White Sox rolled the dice and acquired first baseman Jim Thome, from Philadelphia for centerfielder Aaron Rowand as insurance in the case Konerko did not re-sign with the Sox. Thome struggled in 2005 by hitting .207 with 7 home runs and 20 RBI’s due to a bad back, but looks to rebound next year by producing. The White Sox then re-signed Paul Konerko to a 5 year deal worth 60 million dollars. Konerko, who hit .283 with 40 home runs and 100 RBI’s, was pursued by other teams but in the end, decided he belonged in Chicago long term. The White Sox went into the Winter Meetings in Dallas still looking to deal, and dealt disgruntled reliever Damaso Marte in exchange for utility infielder Rob Mackowiak. Mackowiak will most likely begin the season as a utilityman off the bench, but his playing time may increase if Joe Crede’s back gives in. He batted .272 with 9 home runs and 58 RBI’s while with Pittsburgh. Even when you thought they were done, they acquired pitcher Javier Vazquez in exchange for aging starting pitcher Orlando Hernandez, relief pitcher Luis Viczaino and highly touted minor league prospect Chris Young. Vazquez, who was 11-15 with a 4.42 ERA in 2005 with Arizona, brings some flexibility if the White Sox decide that they want to let pitcher Jose Contreras test the market in 2006. More recently, the White Sox gave catcher A.J. Pierzynski and pitcher Jon Garland long term deals, signing Pierzynski for 3 years and 15 million dollars and Garland for 3 years 29 million dollars, avoiding arbitration. In his first year with the White Sox, Pierzynski batted .257 with 18 home runs and 56 RBI’s as well as solidifying the team’s catcher position in 2005. Garland came off of a career year in which he went 18-10 with a 3.50 ERA. With all the acquisitions the White Sox have made this off season, they set themselves up nicely for the 2006 campaign, as they look to defend their World Series title, and form a dynasty. Just a small article for the White Sox in my section at school, its stuff you all know but its recaping the offseason for people who don't know at school. We had a lot of borderline fans so I'm trying to win them over by saying to them "The Sox are making an effort and the Cubs aren't, so win win win!" Constructive criticism appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santo=dorf Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Thome had 30 RBI's and he also had Tommy John surgery for his elbow. You could mention how his trainer says he's in the best shape of his career which is why one could expect him to "produce" (be more specific. He's here to knock in runs and be an upgrade over Carl Everett.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 In his first year with the White Sox, Pierzynski batted .257 with 18 home runs and 56 RBI’s as well as solidifying the team’s catcher position in 2005. Sounds redundant to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitownsportsfan Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 It's not redundant, just poorly worded. Say it like this: "In 2005, his first year with the Sox..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 There are some mistakes with punctuation, such as: You could take the extra comma HERE "On Thanksgiving Day, the White Sox rolled the dice and acquired first baseman Jim Thome, from Philadelphia for centerfielder Aaron Rowand" and put it HERE "For the first time in 88 years, the Chicago White Sox, managed by Ozzie Guillen(insert comma here)were World Series Champions" Yeah, it's nitpicking, but if you're writing an article you should be as precise as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y2HH Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Oh god...it's not a professional paper! At least he wrote something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(The Critic @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 11:00 AM) There are some mistakes with punctuation, such as: You could take the extra comma HERE "On Thanksgiving Day, the White Sox rolled the dice and acquired first baseman Jim Thome, from Philadelphia for centerfielder Aaron Rowand" and put it HERE "For the first time in 88 years, the Chicago White Sox, managed by Ozzie Guillen(insert comma here)were World Series Champions" Yeah, it's nitpicking, but if you're writing an article you should be as precise as possible. Using the right day would be a good thing as well.. http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb...t=.jsp&c_id=cws Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobDylan Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(Beastly @ Jan 3, 2006 -> 09:31 PM) In November Williams went out and exercised a 3.5 million dollar player option buy out on Frank Thomas, who had been with the White Sox for the past 15 years, batting a career .307 and hitting 448 home runs in his career with the Sox. Some advide would be, from Stephen King himself, that the important words go at the beginning of the sentence, and shorter is better. A way to revise this sentence might be: In November, Williams exercised a 3.5 million dollar buy out option on long time slugger Frank Thomas. Thomas' 448 home runs is a top the Sox record books, and he hit .307 in 15 years with the team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Comma after November....??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobDylan Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(Steff @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:33 PM) Comma after November....??? Is this directed towards me? If so, explain to me why you wouldn't use a comma after November? It's a natural place to pause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
palehose23 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 (edited) Damn!! The kid is in college- keep it constructive. Edited January 4, 2006 by palehose23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobDylan Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(palehose23 @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:38 PM) Damn the kid is in college- keep it constructive. As a student of writing, I've been called an idiot by a professor. I agree that it should be constructive...but one day he'll be hearing a lot worse from fans or readers. He could've written the second coming of Hamlet. It wouldn't matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(BobDylan @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:36 PM) Is this directed towards me? If so, explain to me why you wouldn't use a comma after November? It's a natural place to pause. It sounds natural to you...? Maybe if there was something else there... In November, (ie) after much consideration, Williams exercised a 3.5 million dollar buy out option on long time slugger Frank Thomas. The format is correct with or without the comma.. but the comma, if used by definition, isn't needed there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(palehose23 @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:38 PM) Damn!! The kid is in college- keep it constructive. Or High School... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxrd5 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobDylan Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(Steff @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:42 PM) It sounds natural to you...? Maybe if there was something else there... In November, (ie) after much consideration, Williams exercised a 3.5 million dollar buy out option on long time slugger Frank Thomas. The format is correct with or without the comma.. but the comma, if used by definition, isn't needed there. Well, one way to judge whether or not it is or isn't a natural place to pause is to read it. If you read correctly, it is natural to pause. If you blow through that sentence it's too much information for a listener to comprehend. The other thing to ask is: does the audience need to know the move took place in November? If yes, then a comma is needed. If not, "In November" doesn't even belong there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(BobDylan @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:46 PM) Well, one way to judge whether or not it is or isn't a natural place to pause is to read it. If you read correctly, it is natural to pause. If you blow through that sentence it's too much information for a listener to comprehend. The other thing to ask is: does the audience need to know the move took place in November? If yes, then a comma is needed. If not, "In November" doesn't even belong there. I had no problem without the comma.. Agree to disagree.. :headshake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobDylan Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(Steff @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:47 PM) I had no problem without the comma.. Agree to disagree.. :headshake Another thing I should mention is that I write creatively. The 'rules' might be different. But the way I know it is, you want every word to get across to the reader with every meaning intended possible. It may be different with journalism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
palehose23 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(BobDylan @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 05:40 PM) As a student of writing, I've been called an idiot by a professor. I agree that it should be constructive...but one day he'll be hearing a lot worse from fans or readers. He could've written the second coming of Hamlet. It wouldn't matter. I see your point but I am also a journalism major so I think that most professors in our field are just asses. I see grammatical errors in our papers, TV anchors, and talk show host all the time. My pet peeves are Redundunt speech and double negatives. (I.E) Hawk- "Back with the Final totals in a moment." I turn off the TV before the Postgame comes on just because of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(BobDylan @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:49 PM) Another thing I should mention is that I write creatively. The 'rules' might be different. But the way I know it is, you want every word to get across to the reader with every meaning intended possible. It may be different with journalism. The structure is right both ways. It's an individual choice to use it or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobDylan Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(Steff @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:47 PM) I had no problem without the comma.. Agree to disagree.. :headshake Also, you can't imply how smart or stupid your reader is. Obviously most people will understand the sentence, but you're missing the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(BobDylan @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:50 PM) Also, you can't imply how smart or stupid your reader is. Obviously most people will understand the sentence, but you're missing the point. I get the point.. What part of agree to disagree do YOU not understand...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobDylan Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(Steff @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:50 PM) The structure is right both ways. It's an individual choice to use it or not. Actually, according to the rules of writing, a comma is absolutely needed. Put the sentence in Microsoft Word. It asks you to put a comma there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
palehose23 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(BobDylan @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 05:50 PM) Also, you can't imply how smart or stupid your reader is. Obviously most people will understand the sentence, but you're missing the point. This is hilarious!! The best thread I have seen in a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 QUOTE(BobDylan @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:52 PM) Actually, according to the rules of writing, a comma is absolutely needed. Put the sentence in Microsoft Word. It asks you to put a comma there. I did, and it doesn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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