JUGGERNAUT Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 My hobbies have been cut to the bone of late because most of my spare time is spent doing my kid's homework. I won't go into the particulars. Let's just say my eldest kid doesn't take after me when it comes to getting high marks. The logic is clear: If I am doing the homework then she'll get high marks on it & she'll have more time to study. We tried grounding her from her social life early on but the emotional price for that was too much to bear. So my darling daughter now gets to enjoy her social life & be free from homework. All we ask in return is that she does well enough on tests to get high marks. I knew very well I'd be devoting my time to her for Algebra but I never believed it would carry over to Economics, English, Soc Science, & Biology. Algebra & English are pretty much the same as back in my day but SS & Biology have radically changed. Back in my day Biology was devoted to teaching students about the physiology of plants & animals. I recall cutting open rats, frogs, mice, birds, large insects, fish, & even a small pig during my high school bio days. This past fall my kid learned zilch about such things. Instead she learned about scientific method, DNA testing, genetics, & now evolution. I think the physiology might be more important to someone who aspires to be a physician (human or animal) someday. Social Science is radically different as well. Tripping back thru time my classes were all about relationships between labor & business, war, & mostly history. Her classes are about Wall Mart, the MLBPA, & career planning. I know we have varying ages here at SOXTALK so I'll leave this whine with this thought: Nothing is more disheartening in this life than having to do another person's homework without the reward of getting an A on the test. I keep hoping that she just needs me to get her on the right track & then I can be freed from being a homework slave. Everyone needs hopes & dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heads22 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Sorry, but doing a kid's homework is ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyyle23 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Juggs, this really surprises me out of you. You dont come across as the type that would do your daughters homework so that she wont guilt trip you about her social life. Tough love my friend. If she cannot do the necassary work, and cannot pass the tests, then she doesnt deserve a social life. It should be pretty clear to you, tell her to do her own work if she wants to go out and enjoy herself. You will feel better about it, thats for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUGGERNAUT Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Sorry, but doing a kid's homework is ridiculous. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> About as ridiculous as letting them fail & having to listen to your wife cry her eyes out because all they talk about at family parties & get togethers is how well their kids are doing in school. I just faced the reality of the situation & choose the route which I can best control with respect to my time commitment. Prior to just doing the homework I was playing the role of reviewing it. That took up more of my time. Why? Because the process of review requires having to teach the child what she did wrong. You wind up doing the homework anyways. Now I just have to do the homework & my wife then plays the role of the reviewer. When it comes time to study for tests & quizzes my wife handles that. I just have to produce answer keys. I'm getting time back for myself & I'm increasing my efficiency in doing the homework. My time commitment is ENTIRELY under my control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Perhaps your kid has a problem that requires professional help and not it's mommy and daddy doing it's work for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_genius Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 QUOTE(Heads22 @ Jan 26, 2006 -> 02:13 PM) Sorry, but doing a kid's homework is ridiculous. yea it is no offense to juggernaut, but sounds like the kid is the one in charge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyyle23 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 QUOTE(JUGGERNAUT @ Jan 26, 2006 -> 03:39 PM) About as ridiculous as letting them fail & having to listen to your wife cry her eyes out because all they talk about at family parties & get togethers is how well their kids are doing in school. I just faced the reality of the situation & choose the route which I can best control with respect to my time commitment. Prior to just doing the homework I was playing the role of reviewing it. That took up more of my time. Why? Because the process of review requires having to teach the child what she did wrong. You wind up doing the homework anyways. Now I just have to do the homework & my wife then plays the role of the reviewer. When it comes time to study for tests & quizzes my wife handles that. I just have to produce answer keys. I'm getting time back for myself & I'm increasing my efficiency in doing the homework. My time commitment is ENTIRELY under my control. This is a house of cards, Juggs, and its gonna fall sooner or later. If she isnt studying this stuff, whats going to happen when she gets to college and has to do this stuff on her own? You are enabling your daughter. You are giving her no reason to feel that the stuff you are doing for her is important, so why should she do it? And your wife is even worse to you. What would make your wife cry more? Your daughters bad grades causing people to "talk", or your wife's friends and family finding out that you are skipping your daughter through school because she doesnt feel like doing the work because it is cutting in on her shopping time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 QUOTE(JUGGERNAUT @ Jan 26, 2006 -> 02:39 PM) I just faced the reality of the situation & choose the route which I can best control with respect to my time commitment. My time commitment is ENTIRELY under my control. Your "time commitment".. "TIME COMMITMENT"... Gee... that's realy nice of you to squeeze the kid into your busy schedule. :headshake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockRaines Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 juggs no offense here, but let me give you my honest opinion. Do a kids work for them sets them up for failure later in life. They will learn to depend on you or others to do the real work while developing a tendency towards laziness. You arent going to follow her to college are you? There comes a time when every kid has to step up and do their own work, or else they will be living with mommy and daddy waiting for you to die so they can just take over your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUGGERNAUT Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 (edited) As you've noted in my first post I'm not happy with this situation. You'll even suggest probably that I'm blaming my wife for it. But that's not entirely true. Personally it comes down to this: Am I willing to accept my child's failure? I'm not. I don't know many parents who are. I know several who have paid 1000's of $'s for tutors & summer school to help them get through it. I'm just providing answer keys. She still goes over the homework with her mom. She is still putting in the time. Compromising her ability to go out on the weekends wasn't helping. It just made her more angry with her Mom. That added time wasn't helping to improve the situation. My conclusion is what you would expect from an engineer: find the path of least resistance in solving a problem. If the added time I'm gaining her doesn't improve her ability to be a better student then a special ed cirriculum awaits her. I've told both of them that. I'm at the end of my rope in this & I am hoping my efforts will pay off. Edited January 26, 2006 by JUGGERNAUT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wong & Owens Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Re-read the original post carefully people. This is just another of this guy's little "experiments" he pulls out in hopes of dragging people into debates that, in his mind, he's won before the first word is typed. Don't waste your time folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3E8 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 QUOTE(JUGGERNAUT @ Jan 26, 2006 -> 03:39 PM) About as ridiculous as letting them fail & having to listen to your wife cry her eyes out because all they talk about at family parties & get togethers is how well their kids are doing in school. What's ridiculous is that your wife has no problem talking about your daughter's high marks even though she only worked half as hard as the kid who really earned the good grades. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUGGERNAUT Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 (edited) Having to watch the clock while typing really svcks but like everything else these days I have to budget my time. You are assuming that my daughter is capable of doing the work on her own. Bad assumption. I read recently that 50% of recent college graduates lack basic analytical skills to where they can't even file the 1040 short form on their own. I think America in general should stop assuming how great their kids are. This "experiment" as you call it began in December. It resulted in her grades going from F-D-C's to C-B's. I don't argue with success. Do I believe that with my efforts I can get her to B-A's? Yes. Will my wife, myself, & my daughter be more happier with that? Absolutely. Why do people get more mellow as they get older? Because they just want to see people happy. Edited January 26, 2006 by JUGGERNAUT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxy Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Okay guys, guess who I am: I am the most moral person on the board. I am also the smartest person. I do my child's homework so my wife doesn't cry or nag me. But because I'm doing her work, my kid is now passing. So, not only am I moral and smart, I'm a great parent!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyyle23 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 QUOTE(JUGGERNAUT @ Jan 26, 2006 -> 04:18 PM) This "experiment" as you call it began in December. It resulted in her grades going from F-D-C's to C-B's. I don't argue with success. Do I believe that with my efforts I can get her to B-A's? Yes. Will my wife, myself, & my daughter be more happier with that? Absolutely. I just dont see those C's and B's as being earned, Juggs. Sorry. Comprehension is a huge part, and if you are doing the homework, then she isnt reading the material. You are essentially becoming her cliff notes, and that doesnt prepare her for the future. Do you want her to be happy in the future? Or do you still want her crying to you for money because she doesnt have the job she wants because she doesnt feel liek working? I just see this as you setting her up for a future fall. The path of least resistance is not always the correct path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 QUOTE(Soxy @ Jan 26, 2006 -> 03:21 PM) Okay guys, guess who I am: I am the most moral person on the board. I am also the smartest person. I do my child's homework so my wife doesn't cry or nag me. But because I'm doing her work, my kid is now passing. So, not only am I moral and smart, I'm a great parent!!!!! And I make sure she keeps down the "good food"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUGGERNAUT Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 I'll simplify this for you. You have two choices: 1) Allow your kid to fail or worse be put in special ed. 2) Do all that you can to gain your kid added time to do well in school. Which will you choose? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_genius Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 QUOTE(JUGGERNAUT @ Jan 26, 2006 -> 03:34 PM) I'll simplify this for you. You have two choices: 1) Allow your kid to fail or worse be put in special ed. 2) Do all that you can to gain your kid added time to do well in school. Which will you choose? neither, my kids will be super smart like me (mr_genius). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CubsSuck1 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Funny story here, all year in physics I've been gliding through class, A's on all the tests, even a 99 on the final which I didn't even study for. A few weeks back we had a project in which we had to construct a bridge with toothpicks and glue following some perameters, then test how much weight it could hold. I spent a week staying up late after wrestling practice to work on my bridge. Day of the testing comes up, and my bridge holds a respectable weight, somewhere in the top 5. Mine was one of the first to be tested, so i figured i had a good chance of getting into the top 3, and getting some bonus points on the project, although it was not to be. One girl in particular, who i might add is a f***ing idiot and had not said anything of any intelligence all year, comes in with a bridge clearly made by her father and she ends up getting the top scorewhile she sists there acting surprised. Obviously, having her father do this project for her accomplished nothing in regards to her education, besides keeping her dependent and an idiot. I just have to laugh because one day people like her will work for people like me and her parents won't be around to bail her out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 QUOTE(CubsSuck1 @ Jan 26, 2006 -> 03:38 PM) Obviously, having her father do this project for her accomplished nothing in regards to her education, besides keeping her dependent and an idiot. That sums it up nicely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyyle23 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 QUOTE(JUGGERNAUT @ Jan 26, 2006 -> 04:34 PM) I'll simplify this for you. You have two choices: 1) Allow your kid to fail or worse be put in special ed. 2) Do all that you can to gain your kid added time to do well in school. Which will you choose? You cannot simplify your childs education for anything, especially a social life. If your child doesnt want to be in Special Ed, she needs to get her ass home and put her nose in a book. Option 2 is pretty simplified from "I am doing my daughters homework and she reviews it." Noone ever said you couldnt help your child do her homework, just dont do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyWhiteSox Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Wow, you're horrible at parenting. Who in their right mind justifies doing their child's homework? Better yet, who brings up such a moronic action onto a message board just for the sake of arguing what anyone with common sense already knows is stupid? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockRaines Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 AFter reading everyone's response, and asking myself if I would share my parenting techniques or mishaps on this board. I have come to the conclusion that Juggs is full of s*** and just trying to argue about something. I would never air this s*** on a public message board if this is what I was doing as a parent. You dont air your dirty laundry in public, and not on the internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUGGERNAUT Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ah you brought back memories. I soaked the wood before I built the bridge. My bridge withstood the greatest weight. The kids were pretty amazed. I supported twice the weight as the 2nd place finisher & at the time my bridge was shown to noticeably bend. It never broke. It bent so far as to slip through. The teacher never said we couldn't soak the bridge. He did ask me to write up a page explaining the advantages I gained in doing so. The explanation was a hit with the teacher & the bridge was a hit with the class. The whole project took me about an hour after the wood was soaked a few days. The only specifications that confined you were weight & materials. Why my kids can't think like that I'll never know. I sure wish Lamarck's theory turned out to be the right one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Tizzle Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 (edited) Juggs, this is likely a problem which existed many years prior to high school. I'm not going to go far enough as to criticize your parenting, but obviously--unless your child has learning disabilities-- certain approaches may have contributed to her unwillingness to accept responsibility. Personally, I've always been an excellent student. Not because I'm the most intelligent or naturally gifted, but due to a persistent desire to succeed. The most difficult aspect of education isn't learning the intricacies of a topic, but opening up a book and pushing yourself to understand certain material. Schooling is not only to culture youth, but to prove to future colleges and employers this particular person CAN learn. He/She HAS proven they can be taught new techniques fand ideas. What you should do is send her to college away from home. Have her develop reponsibility. If she fails out of college, and Mrs. Juggernaut cries, then it's time to reassess several things. But you have to take a risk. Edited January 26, 2006 by Flash Tizzle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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