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Cheney shoots Quail Hunter


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QUOTE(NUKE_CLEVELAND @ Feb 13, 2006 -> 06:06 PM)
I thought the title was funny also.

 

Hopefully the guy is alright.

 

it appears so, i'm afraid i'm not that knowledgable on what is used for quail hunting but it can't be that powerful if the guy took shells to the face and was never in any great danger even at age 75

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It's still not that hard not to shoot someone. I'm part of a family that is a bunch of avid hunters, and the only accident wasn't an accident, as my uncle shot my mom in the toe with a BB gun. She wasn't too happy about that as a teenager.

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QUOTE(bmags @ Feb 13, 2006 -> 12:10 PM)
it appears so, i'm afraid i'm not that knowledgable on what is used for quail hunting but it can't be that powerful if the guy took shells to the face and was never in any great danger even at age 75

 

It's all about distance from the shotgun. When dove hunting we always try and stay at least 75 yards from each other, of someone should accidentaly fire in anyone's direction, the shot is so dispersed at that distance you can barely feel it. That type of accident is very easy to have happen. Basically the bird flied between two hunters, you are following the bird, the rush of excitement when the bird flushes, you swing, shoot, and someone screams.

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Transcript from hilarious Daily Show bit last night:

 

Jon Stewart: "I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?

 

Rob Corddry: "Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush.

 

"And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face."

 

Jon Stewart: "But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?"

 

Rob Corddry: "Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak."

 

Jon Stewart: "That's horrible."

 

Rob Corddry: "Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know 'how' we're hunting them. I'm sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little 'covey' of theirs.

 

Jon Stewart: "I'm not sure birds can laugh, Rob."

 

Rob Corddry: "Well, whatever it is they do … coo .. they're cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.

 

Jon Stewart: "Okay, well, on a purely human level, is the vice president at least sorry?"

 

Rob Corddry: "Jon, what difference does it make? The bullets are already in this man's face. Let's move forward across party lines as a people … to get him some sort of mask."

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QUOTE(Balta1701 @ Feb 13, 2006 -> 07:21 PM)
Hehe, turns out Cheney was hunting illegally.  He will be issued a warning citation.  (Carries no fine or penalty).  But I can still taunt!

A $7 quail stamp? But, he didn't shoot a quail, he shot a lawyer. How much is that stamp? Or do they pay you?

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QUOTE(mreye @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 09:18 AM)
A $7 quail stamp? But, he didn't shoot a quail, he shot a lawyer. How much is that stamp? Or do they pay you?

 

:lolhitting

 

That is by far the funniest joke I have heard so far out of all of this... With this kind of material, you would think people would be a little less predictable.

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The Top 6 Valentines From Dick Cheney

 

 

6> Let's trade hearts. Literally.

 

5> I give my love to you, my love.

  I never want it back.

  My love is forever, ever true, my love,

  Just like Halliburton in Iraq.

 

4> How do I love thee?

  Let me count the ways:

  1, 2, 3 -- CLEAR!

 

3> They say I have a snarl

  Even when I am alone.

  But I laugh with my buddy, Carl,

  As we listen to your phone.

 

2> I'd like to touch you in an undisclosed location.

 

 

and the Number 1 Valentine From Dick Cheney...

 

 

1> I'm so hot for you,

  You make my blood boil.

  I'm gonna invade you

  And drill you for oil.

 

 

 

            [  Copyright 2006 by Chris White    ]

            [      http://www.topfive.com      ]

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Here was late night's take on it: (my favorites in bold)

 

"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS:

 

• "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."

 

• "But here is the sad part — before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."

 

• "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."

 

• "The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."

 

__

 

"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC:

 

• "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.

 

• "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."

 

• "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'"

 

• "Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for

Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"

 

___

 

"The Daily Show with

Jon Stewart," Comedy Central:

• "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."

 

• "Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted — it's just not worth it."

 

___

 

"Late Late Show with

Craig Ferguson," CBS:

 

• "He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."

• "You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "

 

• "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."

 

"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."

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BTW, I like a Pres or Veep that fishes and hunts. Tell me he actually cleaned his catch and I'd be even happier.

 

I was thinking how sad it is that he travels with an ambulance. In a couple years, the ambulance goes away, as if he doesn't matter anymore. :huh:

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QUOTE(Texsox @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:59 AM)
BTW, I like a Pres or Veep that fishes and hunts. Tell me he actually cleaned his catch and I'd be even happier.

 

I was thinking how sad it is that he travels with an ambulance. In a couple years, the ambulance goes away, as if he doesn't matter anymore.  :huh:

 

He matters now?!?!

 

(Ba-dum bum)

 

Thank you, try the veal.

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