I think Mariotti is off the stupid pills

[Phuck the Cubs]

MESA, Ariz. -- I used to be sympathetic, wistful, hopeful. But now, when it comes to the HMO tag team that is Kerry Wood and Mark Prior, I am exhausted and bored stiff, which sounds like a reason for all of Cubdom to go on the disabled list retroactive to 2003. General manager Jim Hendry still crosses his fingers and thinks the MRI Twins might make 50 starts between them this season.

 

''We knew neither one of them would be ready for Opening Day,'' he said, sounding as if their latest DL visit is a stroll to an ice cream shop. ''Mark has been throwing again and has had no discomfort. Woody has been very, very good.''

 

Me? I have more faith in weathermen, cell-phone signals and that drugged-out Pete Doherty character making his next court appearance.

 

You can't rely on them anymore. You can pray for the best and maybe be pleasantly surprised someday, but as the Cubs begin their 98th season after their last World Series championship, any dependency on Wood and Prior becomes an empty hope chest. It's one thing to remain patient with pitchers for one season, two seasons, three. But for the record, Wood is going on his eighth year of health doubt as he approaches double digits in DL trips, while Prior is entering his fourth year of uncertainty and sixth DL stop. To me, their demise has been one of the saddest stories I've seen in baseball, as brutal a Cubbie sad song as you'll ever sing. But eventually, like any sports tragedy, you have to move on, realize the Bartman Game was three autumns ago and understand that Wood and Prior aren't the second coming of Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling as much as the latest symbols of why a young arm is a terrible thing to waste -- and abuse.

 

I've lamented, like others in the sport, the dangerously high pitch counts of Wood and Prior when Dusty Baker overused them for four roller-coaster months in 2003. My new beef is why management, specifically Hendry, continues to act like a sappy, jilted lover in believing the MRI Twins will return soon and remain consistently healthy. The obvious answer is that Hendry poured more than $30million of Tribune Co. payroll into Wood and, with the GM entering his lame-duck year and no contract extension offered as yet, can't accept that Wood is damaged goods. He did provide a wobbly hint on Prior when he readily told the Baltimore Orioles that he was available in a prospective deal for Miguel Tejada, but the Orioles were more blunt about Prior's condition when they point-blank refused, saying they'd much prefer the healthy Carlos Zambrano.

 

Rotation really in trouble

 

That should have told Hendry, once and for all, that the hope train had departed the station. It should have prompted him to invest the $40 million rejected by Rafael Furcal into a good starting pitcher or two. But other than trading for Juan Pierre, which was going to happen anyway, and the signings of relievers Scott Eyre and Bobby Howry, which happened weeks before, Hendry did nothing with that financial surplus, leaving the Cubs with a smaller payroll than the White Sox and their rotation in a shambles. As recently as two years ago, the club's starting pitchers were the envy of the majors. But because Hendry keeps clinging to Wood and Prior, a gold-to-rust rotation stands as follows until further notice:

 

Zambrano is the ace and only potentially dominant starter, assuming he isn't the next voodoo-doll victim to break down.

 

Greg Maddux will look good some days and relinquish three home runs other days, making him an ancient No. 4 starter posing as a No. 2 starter.

 

Glendon Rusch, who should be a spot starter at best, is your last remaining veteran.

 

Jerome Williams, he of the 8.00 ERA this spring, can't get out of the first inning and might be beaten out by Sean Marshall, who pitched last season at Class A Daytona, or lefty Rich Hill, a talented guy who will drive you wacky.

 

With another established starter, the Cubs might have had an outside chance of a wild-card berth. But looking at two or three losses every five days, they are doomed for another sub-.500 season unless a miracle descends upon Wrigley Field and Prior or Wood re-emerge as real contributors. Shame on Hendry and his boss, Andy MacPhail, for letting the Cubs erode so quickly. After the glories of the White Sox and Red Sox, the urgency to win a championship should be higher than ever at Clark and Addison. Management can't afford to wait on Prior and Wood. But the honchos quit on the fans after Furcal signed with the Dodgers, which explains why the Cubs are forecast as a fourth-place team by most experts, including the smart folks at Baseball America, who described the franchise as ''dysfunctional.'' I'm starting to like that phrase better than cursed, by the way. To blame all the problems on hexes and curses is to ignore the incompetence of the decision-makers. This isn't about a billy goat.

 

It's about a bottom-line company that isn't trying to win it all, a company that fought much harder for 1,800 new bleacher seats than it did for a starter. ''It's tougher than people think to find good starting pitching in the major leagues,'' Hendry said.

 

Hey, veteran starters were out there. Other teams signed them.

 

The Cubs didn't want to spend the money. But they expect fans to spend $60 for one ''bleacher box'' with a seat back -- which means it isn't actually a bleacher seat -- and up to $40 for a regular bleacher seat that used to cost as much as a hot dog and a beer. They are incredibly greedy at the Tribune's baseball operation, an attitude MacPhail and the muckety-mucks can get away with if their team is winning. But with a lower-division finish expected only months after the Sox won the Series, expect angry, ugly crowds in what will be the Unfriendly Confines if the Cubs start slowly and fall behind the Cardinals, Astros and on-the-rise Brewers while falling to the level of -- gulp -- the Reds and Pirates. Those are small-market teams, I remind you.

 

Only the Cubs fail to comprehend

 

I'm tired of hearing Hendry, Baker, pitching coach Larry Rothschild and trainer Mark O'Neal talk in code about Prior and Wood. And sorry as I feel for the pitchers, how much more babble can we tolerate from them? After tossing the ball 30 times the other day, Prior told reporters, ''If I had to judge it, you know what you are the first time you throw in the offseason, and I'm definitely ahead of that. I just don't know how far ahead and won't know until a little bit more.''

 

My educated guess is, Prior will be back in June and have mixed results. Wood will be back before then, but will return to the DL shortly afterward. And if you think I'm some sort of Gloomy Gus, consider the words of Cubs fan and native Chicagoan Mike Wilbon, who conceded Wednesday on ''Pardon the Interruption'' that the MRI Twins no longer can be viewed as reliable arms. Everyone seems to have reached that conclusion.

 

Except the Cubs.

 

http://www.suntimes.com/output/mariotti/cst-spt-jay30.html

[The Critic]

He'll never be off the stupid pills, he's just taking the easy cheap shot like he always does.

If the Sox are 7-6 in their first 13 games he'll be predicting doom for them, because it'll be the easy thing to do.

It's an easier read when he ambushes the Cubs , but it's not indicative of increasing IQ. It's his standard operating procedure.