Steff Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Can someone help me out with a list of 3 or 4 decent pitchers that will pitch twice this week other than Colon..? I'm thisclose to the lead of my fantasy league and I can't get on ESPN or MLB.com to get matchups for the week. Thanks guys!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiff Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 jason schmidt, shawn chacon, mark mulder, kevin milwood, matt morris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted June 2, 2003 Author Share Posted June 2, 2003 jason schmidt, shawn chacon, mark mulder, kevin milwood, matt morris Thank you spiff!! As for the rest of you :finger . 16 look sees and no one could help me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SI1020 Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Spiff did such a good job there was nothing I could add. Good luck in fantasy league land. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Be Good Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 STEFF if I may whats "doable" BE GOOD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted June 2, 2003 Author Share Posted June 2, 2003 STEFF if I may whats "doable" BE GOOD You're a junior in HS and you don't know what "doable" is...?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxplosion Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Oh I thought he was joking or asking you indirectly how hot you were. Thats disturbing BH. Disturbing. It means able to be screwed... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Be Good Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 STEFF if I may whats "doable" BE GOOD You're a junior in HS and you don't know what "doable" is...?? WELL, there's a lot I dont know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted June 3, 2003 Author Share Posted June 3, 2003 Oh I thought he was joking or asking you indirectly how hot you were. Thats disturbing BH. Disturbing. It means able to be screwed... I don't think it means being "able" since everyone is pretty much able... I think it's more along the lines of.... Well hell.. why don't we let the creator of the comment splain....?? Oh Maury...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Showtime Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 I don't think it means being "able" since everyone is pretty much able... I think it's more along the lines of.... Well hell.. why don't we let the creator of the comment splain....?? Oh Maury...... I don't think he's going to be available for comment on this one Steff. I know the term "bend her over" was used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hotsoxchick1 Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 I don't think it means being "able" since everyone is pretty much able... I think it's more along the lines of.... Well hell.. why don't we let the creator of the comment splain....?? Oh Maury...... I don't think he's going to be available for comment on this one Steff. I know the term "bend her over" was used. and i recall something being said about sticking something somewhere........... but i didnt want to go there......... ... maury best speak for himself.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandoFan Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 STEFF if I may whats "doable" An epithet? Or is it "doer of sex", I forget? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GASHWOUND Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 STEFF if I may whats "doable" BE GOOD You're a junior in HS and you don't know what "doable" is...?? What are you implying??? That Hurt is some kind of geek??!?!!! Hurt is cool guy, don't let Steff talk to ya like that..not everyone knows what doable means. All these internet slangs are retarded I'll help you out Hurt..Here's everything you need to know and there meanings... WTF: What the f*** WTH: What the Hell. All purpose "huh?" remarks, considered slightly obscene, but not really profanity. STFU: Shut the f*** Up. An all purpose rejoinder, often used sarcastically. Much like WTF, it's not really considered profanity, at least not to the level it would be if you actually typed out the full words. BBIAB: Be Back in a Bit BBL: Be Back Later BRB: Be Right Back BRT: Be Right There AFK: Away from Keyboard Generally used to mean, "away from computer", not just keyboard, (which would imply you were there and observing, and just couldn't type back, say if you were painting your nails) and is often stated with a time, such as "AFK 10 min". ATM: At The Moment IOW: In Other Words BTW: By The Way AFAIK: As Far As I Know IIRC: If I Recall Correctly IMHO: In My Humble Opinion (Sometimes "Honest", but usually "Humble", which has a somewhat sarcastic connotation.) YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary (Not a driving reference, it's used for all sorts of things, as a sort of "it worked for me, but might not for you" warning.) OMFG: Oh My f***ing God JFC: Jesus f***ing Christ FFS: For f***'s Sake All purpose declarations of surprise or shock, considered moderately strong oaths, and can be used interchangably. FFs: French Fries (note the lowercase "s" to avoid confusion) IRC: Internet Relay Chat (online chat service) ICQ: The first super popular instant messaging service. AIM: AOL instant messaging, disdained by old school ICQ'ers. There are numerous other instant messaging services, most of which are not compatible with the others, while a few are designed to let you use one and talk to friends using other clients. DL: Download UL: Upload Gratz: Congratulations GG: Good Game (generally used in game chat) LOL: Laugh Out Loud LMAO: Laughing My Ass off LMFAO: Laughing My f***ing Ass off ROTF: Rolling on the Floor (often ROTFLMFAO) BF: Boyfriend GF: Girlfriend RPG: Role Playing Game MMO: Massively Multiplayer Online (game, usually MMORPG) RTS: Real Time Strategy (game) FPS: First Person Shooter FPS: Frames Per Second POS: Piece of s*** QA: Quality Assurance (Software testing department in most programming companies.) Q&A: Question and Answer OT: Off Topic (Used in forum posts most often, to warn readers that a message is not on the usual forum topic.) b/c: Because k: Okay TA: Thanks alot Danke: Thanks (German) Thx: Thanks Plz: Please Both are considered borderline AOLese, and are often looked down upon, as it seems somewhat rude to abbreviate words used to be express gratitude or ask a favor. L8R: Later ne1: Anyone Abbreviations and Acronyms that feature numbers mixed in with letters are considered poor form; borderline-AOLese or wanna-be l33t speak, by most adults. ASCII: American Standard Code for Information Interchange. This is the technical definition; in practice when you see someone throwing out a bunch of weird non-standard characters like, "®Æòœ7¦Ç" for example, this is done with ASCII, which selects characters from the windows Character Map. This can be useful to type in symbols for Pounds Sterling (£=0163) or Yen (¥=0165) or the Euro (€=0128), the copyright (©=0169) symbol, fractions (¼=0188, ½=0189, ¾=0190) the 3 (é=0233) in "résumé", etc. To use ASCII characters, you need to see the Character Map. Hit F1 in Windows from your desktop or a folder, and type in "Character Map" into the help search, and you'll get an option to open the Character Map. You can select characters from it and paste them in, or else memorize their numbers, and type them into a document directly by holding down Alt and hitting the numbers on the keypad, then releasing Alt. You must press and release Alt for each ASCII character you wish to insert. The ASCII codes will vary somewhat from font to font, and lots of stylistic/artsy fonts won't have anything but letters (some don't even have numbers or punctuation), while business fonts such as MS Sans Serif, Verdana, Arial, New Times Roman, etc will have every imaginable character, generally with the same codes for them from font to font. This is something the font-creator must implement, which is why lots of fonts don't have more than letters and numbers. Slang Words Slang on the Internet incorporates all slang used in real life, but adds much to it. Similar to Internet abbreviations, these are largely created and popularized for their time/letter-saving qualities, but as with all slang, they are also useful to convey a complicated concept in a quick word. sux: sucks suxorz: sucks rox: rocks fuxed: f***ed thx: thanks As you can see, just about any "ck" or "cks" or even other similar letters making the same sound can be replaced with an "x". This is mostly an AOLese or Hacker Speak convention, but you'll see it often enough elsewhere. Noob: Newbie (Also newb or n00b, plural Noobz), one who is inexperienced or new to the Internet or some aspect of online life. Often used as an insult, or attempted insult, since most often the one saying "Noob!" is just trying to hide their own lack of knowledge or insecurity. Troll: Insulting term for a general idiot in a forum or other online meeting place. Literally, the term comes from "trolling" a type of fishing that involves dragging bait along and hoping a fish will take it, and was initially used to describe a forum poster or IRC chatter who made intentionally outrageous comments in an effort to get outraged responses. It has come to be both a noun and a verb, and often is used in humorous mentions of the mythical creature that lives under bridges, eats goats, etc. If some troll is trolling in a forum, and someone takes the bait, others will comment, "Bad goat! Don't feed the troll!", or "Hide the goats, a troll has arrived." Lamer: A loser, victim, idiot, etc. hack: To break into a game or server. More generally, to engage in any sort of cheating or do anything outside the allowed rules of a game or system. Often used as an insult or accusation. Hacker: A person who hacks or is suspected of hacking. Crack: To hack a product and remove the copy protection from it, generally for redistribution as a downloadable file. Warez: Pirated software that has been cracked. Kewl: Cool. Semi-AOLese for something good or neat or nifty. Also "k3wl". AOLese AOLese is a gutter tongue; a bastardized language combining acronyms, slang, h4xor sp33k (hacker speech, see below) and generally execrable grammar and spelling. It is used almost entirely by young, male, Internet newbies, most often ones on their parent's AOL account (hence the name), who somehow have come to the conclusion that this type of speech is cool. You could also call it Hotmailese, since quite a few users have that goddawful free mail service with which to spread their insidious yammerings. I have extensive experience with this sort of grammar, since in the nearly 4 years I've worked on Diabloii.net, I have received thousands of emails written in AOLese, and at least 75% of the mails with this sort of grammar are from @aol.com, with probably 20% coming from @hotmail.com. This type of speech should be avoided at all costs if you want anyone (other than other AOLese users) to take anything you have to say seriously. It's universally agreed upon by adults and more advanced users that only trolls and noobs speak in this fashion, and you might as well try to win a debate using AOLese as argue before the Supreme Court using Pig Latin. That warning being given, here is what this tongue consists of. AOLese is difficult to define, but like pornography, you will probably know it when you see it. The line between AOLese and someone using a lot of Internet slang, or hacker speak, can be difficult to draw. AOLese generally adds enough stupid, nonsensical comments, lack of proper capitalization, misspellings, and poor grammar to put it in a class by itself. Keep in mind that there is a difference between true AOLese and the poor writing of someone who just isn't a good writer. Someone who is just learning English, a child or perhaps an adult who has another native tongue, will tend to butcher the language, and perhaps use a lot of abbreviations, not knowing any better. Have patience with people who are working on their language skills; save your vitriol for trolls who intentionally subject the rest of us to their ill-formed syntax. Especially if they think it's k3wl. Also keep in mind that not every AOLer is using AOLese, and not every AOLese'er is an AOLer. It's entirely possible to find experienced users on real ISPs, often cable modems or DSL, who just lack the common sense to know better than to use AOLese. More commonly, you'll encounter AOLers who are are adults, usually ones new to the Internet or just not on it often enough to feel the need to move up to a real ISP. They'll use perfect English, though often not type very fast or accurately, and will probably have no idea at all what AOLese is, other than some weird language they saw on an email to their kid one time. While you can safely assume an AOLer won't be real up on Internet conventions, or a very experienced user, that's nothing to hate them for. Remember, we used to have real lives away from our computers also. RaNdOm CapS: A very common AOLese trait, this annoying style of writing is common among users who virtually never manage proper capitalization, but somehow are able to find their shift key every other letter the rest of the time. There is no rhyme or reason to the substitution. Sometimes you'll see every other letter, sometimes every consonant, other times it's totally random, about every 3rd or 4th letter. Jarring to the eye and of no possible value, this is quintessential AOLese. R4nd0m Num3r41s : Similar to (and often combined with) random caps, this is the practice of substituting numbers for letters, to no obvious benefit. This differs from Hacker Speak in that it's vastly overused, and often includes pointless substitutions, such as zero for "o", or "1" for "l", changes that can't even be discerned in some fonts. (Which is sometimes the point, to disguise a name so it's impossible to squelch them.) Horrible Grammar: This is a near-universal trait of AOLese, and is often intentional, though it's a rare AOLese speaker who could manage proper English if you held a gun to their head (though it would certainly be fun to test that theory). They'll mangle the language horribly, entirely missing the subtlety of verb tense changes, proper pronoun use, decent sentence structure, etc. More than that, you don't need to be an English teacher to spot the problems in their writing. Most AOLese is intentionally full of fragmentary sentences, run-ons, random, non-sequitor'esque remarks, and stupidity, all of which are of course liberally studded with acronyms, abbreviations, slang, and random caps/numerals. Proper AOLese should be almost indecipherable to a real person. Overuse of Terms: Most AOLese will beat a few popular terms absolutely to death, due to the lack of imagination or creativity in the writers of this dialect. See the most common terms in Hacker Speak, listed below, and expect "skillz", "l33t", "noobz", "sux", etc to appear in nearly every sentence. Remember, it's all about degrees of descending into the void. AOLese doesn't feature anything not seen in other types of Internet Slang, it just has far too many of them, all thrown in together. Many writers operate on the borderline of AOLese, stumbling over the edge like a drunk unable to walk a straight line at a sobriety test, and then recovering for a few awkward sentences. L33t and h4x0r Sp33k This generally-loathed form of expression is used mostly by kids in an often-successful effort to annoy those who are more literate than themselves. It differs from AOLese in that it's more controlled, and can be inserted into sentences that are otherwise perfectly-written. Hacker Speak can be used by decent writers, and throwing in term or two here or there can add amusing emphasis. If you are discussing something extremely geeky, you might want to role-play a bit, in sarcastic fashion. For example, if you died on something stupid or easy in a game, and as your friends were laughing, you could say, "Fear my l33t skillz!" In this case it would be understood that you were mocking yourself, pretending to be a troll, and your friends would probably find it funny, if they weren't trolls themselves, in which case 1) they shouldn't be your friends, and 2) they wouldn't realize it was a joke. You could say the exact same thing in a different situation, such as bragging about how good you were at a game in a forum, and you'd be universally regarded as a 13 y/o wannabe loser. So don't do it, or risk the consequences. The fashion of substituting numbers for letters began (apparently) with hackers, as a sort of shorthand and an inside joke, and also as a way to circumvent chat logging bots. Bots would be programmed to log text or boot users who used certain key terms. Substituting numbers for letters enabled people to say what they wanted to say, without being caught so easily. Thanks to Tomas for the tip. Leet speak has grown steadily less cool since it's been corrupted and ruined by overuse, especially by non-hackers, or hacker wanna-bes; AKA "script kiddies". This form of writing is really a type of AOLese at this point, and should not be used by anyone other than for a joke effect. There are a few very common l33t terms, (that's one), but the basic rules of the spelling can be applied to virtually any word. As such a full lexicon isn't reasonable, but once you know the basic rules of grammar, so to speak, you'll be as fluent as any clueless fat 14 y/o from Topeka on his mom's AOL being flamed in a Quake 3 newsgroup. And what more could you ask for? Basic Letter Substitution Patterns Many are based on similarity of appearance to either the upper or lowercase letter. 3: e or E 4: a or A z: s (usually ending a word, as a plural) ph: f (phonetic) c: k (k used when phonetic, to intentionally misspell) x: ck (phonetic) 33: ea (sometimes 34 is used, usually 33, to intentionally misspell, as in "sp33k") @: a (pronounced "a", not "at". No, it's not logical.) 1: I or i Common Words Most of these use the l33t spelling, of course. l33t: elite (adjective, meaning far better than average) skillz: skills roxor: rocks, as in "that rocks!" but even more so ph34r: fear (also ph33r) sux: suck (or suxor, as in, "You suxor, noob!" noob: Newbie (plural = noobz) tr00: True w00t: "woot". An all purpose happy sound effect. j00: You Advanced usage: Ph34r my tr00 l33t sk1llz, j00 suxor noobz! Emoticons An internet invention, these are punctuation marks used to make facial expressions. Emoticons serve as shorthand for emotions, and are also useful as garnishes to your words, to indicate that you are sad, or joking, or angry, etc. People often fail to grasp sarcasm or satire in written material, and emoticons are useful to tip your attitude, and quicker and less mood-killing than a long aside about how, "I'm just being sarcastic here." Emoticons are useful, since they can at least partially take the place of facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice, all of which give clues to meaning beyond what your mere words convey, in face to face dialogue. They can easily be overused though, or used in a far too cutesy fashion, somewhat like a girl dotting her i's with big pink hearts. If your email has more than one or two emoticons in it, you are probably overusing them, and if you have one on each paragraph, or even each sentence, you need to be hosed down. Don't spend all day worrying about it, but scan over your just-written paragraph. If your meaning is clear, then there's no need to throw in redundant emoticons. A related issue is overuse of "LOL". Some people are getting into the habit of throwing these in nearly every sentence, and not meaning it in any way as an actual "laughing out loud" (or if they are they need to lay off the Nitrous Oxide) just as a sort of punctuation. One will suffice, thank you. Various internet sites list huge stacks of emoticons, the vast majority of which you'll never ever see anyone use, thank God. Remember, little girl, big pink hearts dotting every i; it's easy to get carried away. The whole point in emoticons is that you can figure out what they are just at a glance. Most of them are viewed sideways, such as the classic , which is a pair of eyes and a smiling mouth. Sometimes emoticons are pointed the other way, (: though this is non-standard usage. You can incorporate an emoticon with actual standard punctuation, though this tends to be somewhat confusing. If you are making a joke in an aside (like this you might want to highlight the joke with the emoticon, and you need an ) to end the aside. It looks odd to do the ) or ), which is the emoticon and then the ending parenthesis, but the other way is confusing. Try to reword the sentence, or just suffer. -- Smile. Also =) or :-), or ;~), etc. -- Wink, often to indicate a joke or sarcasm. Also ;-), etc. -- Frown, unhappy. Also =(, :-(, etc. :/ -- Glum, or indifference. Basically a less sad frown. Also =|, :-\, etc. ;-* -- Kissing face. There are hundreds of others, do a quick google search for them and you'll see dozens of sites with hundreds of emoticons listed. I don't recommend using the cutsey ones with half a dozen symbols any more than I recommend using one after every sentence. They really scream "I'm a newbie." to other users, and the thrill wears off quickly. Sideways emoticons are a more-recent innovation, and seem to be mostly Korean in invention, or at least that's where they were popularized. These are basically the same as the original emoticons in usage, and there are multiple versions of each style. The eyes are made with ^'s, (shift+6) and are thought to be copied from anime style animation, where eyes are often very stylized and oversized, and happy smiling characters often have just a slit shaped like the ^ character. The middle character is the nose or mouth, depending on the expression -- Basic smile. Also ^~^, ^¿^, etc. (¿=0191) (^¿^) -- Face with ears. ~_~ -- Sleeping face. º¿º -- Funny face, with the eyes and nose in the middle. The circles aren't "o", they are the degree symbol. The easiest way to make this one is to do it Alt+167, Alt+168, Alt+167. That's easy to remember and quick to type. Remember to press and hold Alt, but release it after each character. 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GASHWOUND Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Here's some other terms from the underworld of the net WARNING: This may be offensive!!! wtf am I talking about...THIS IS OFFENSIVE!!! Intercourse-Related Acts - Vaginal and anal. The Bucking Bronco: An all time classic. You start by going doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off. The Dirty Sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, s*** moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez. Dog in a Bathtub: This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath. Donkey Punch: Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up. The Fish Eye: From behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing. The Flying Camel: When in the missionary position, the man should be on his knees and the woman lying back fully. At a critical moment, the man lies down and leans forward, balancing himself entirely on the woman's torso. While so posed he should flap his arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move. The Hike: During gay anal sex, the man in back should reach under and grasp the balls of his partner, and then suddenly attempt to yank them backwards between his legs, just like a quarterback receiving the hike/snap in football. Has a tranquilizing effect on your partner's movement. Pink Glove: This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove. The Ram: Doggy style intercourse against a wall. The woman's head should bang into the wall with each thrust in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity. Rear Admiral: When getting a chic from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips. Rodeo f***: You are f***ing a chick in the ass from behind, but you insert your dick in from uphigh, so that you can almost rest your entire weight on her hipbones. Then you in reach over the front of her face, place two fingers up her nostrils, and pull back. Your other arm is then used to slap her on ass from behind. An nice round-the-world, full-arm slap is in order. Wearing chaps, a cowboy hat and listening to the theme of Bonanza can heighten the effect. Snowmobile: Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face. Oral Sex-Related Acts The Bismarck: When receiving oral sex, just before the man achieves orgasm he pulls out, shoots his load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together. The Blumpkin: You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the s***ter. The Cleveland Steamer: While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to s*** on her chest. (AKA Hot Lunch) The Fountain of You: While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed). Fur Ball: You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her. Jelly Doughnut: A derivation of the Bismarck. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head. New York Style Taco: Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails. Also slang for analingus Pearl Necklace: Ejaculating on the neck and chest of a woman, giving the look of a pearls. Usually induced by fellatio. Some women enjoy it. The Purple Mushroom: This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom. Ray-Bans: Put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try. Rim Job: Another name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use of the tongue. Snowball: She sucks you off but rather than swallowing like a good girl, or spitting like a whore, she comes up for a kiss that packs a gooey surprise. Tossing Salad: Another prison act where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison. Tuna Melt: You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face. The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap the head of your cock on her forehead. Masturbation-Related Acts Bukkake: Japanese humiliation porn involving as many men as as possible coming on a girl at the same time, usually via a circle jerk. Do a quick Google search if you don't believe it. The Stranger: Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else. Western Grip: When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western. Fecal or Anal-Related Acts The Blumpkin: You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the s***ter. The ChiliDog - Best if attempted after a Cleveland Steamer. You take a s*** on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty f*** her. The Cleveland Steamer: While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to s*** on her chest. (AKA Hot Lunch) Dutch Oven: Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well. The Fish Eye: From behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing. Fishhook: A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her ass. The Fountain of You: While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed). Gaylord Perry: Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple). Glass Bottom Boat: Putting saran wrap over your partners face and proceeding to lay a hot s*** there. The Hot Karl: Just like the Glass Bottom Boat but without the Saran Wrap. Caviar right into the mouth. New York Style Taco: Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails. Also slang for analingus. Rim Job: Another name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use of the tongue. The Shocker: Two fingers in the pussy, one in the ass. The classic "two in the pink, one in the stink". Best performed with the fore and middle fingers together, ring finger bent, and the pinkie in the rear. (Literally.) Tossing Salad: Another prison act where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison. Miscellaneous Acts and Terms The Abe Lincoln: To shave a woman, nut on her face, and then sprinkle the bits of pubic hair down with your spread semen as glue, turning her into a bearded resemblance of the famous ex-president. Bukkake: Japanese humiliation porn involving as many men as as possible cuming on a girl at the same time, usually via circle jerk. Do a quick Google search if you don't believe it. Coyote: This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful. The Dirty Sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, s*** moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez. A popular prank on a sleeping/drunk person. Dutch Oven: Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well. Golden Shower: Any form of pissing all over a chick or being pissed on. Includes drinking urine. (AKA Watersports) Pink Glove: This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to Slang for Vagina • Axe/hatchet wound • Ass mate • Bearded oyster • Beaver • Beef curtains • Bikini bizkit • Cock holster • Cooter (Southern US regionalism) • Cherry pop • Cat flaps • Cha-cha • Chuff • Furburger • Grumble • Hairy goblet (what a knight might drink from) • Honey pot • Honeysuckle • Hooch • Hush puppy • Lick-me-please-me • Muff • Mud flaps • Map of Tassie/Mapatazi (Map of Tasmania) • Panty hamster • Passion fruit • Poonany • Quim • Southern belle • Taco (pink) • Tongue magnet • Velcro triangle • Vertical bacon sandwich • Vertical smile • Wunder down under Size Related Large • The Grand Canyon • The Great Divide • Horse's collar • Clown's Pocket • Cathedral (my organ's never played in one this large before) Small • Mouse's ear • Eye of a needle Slutty • Box of assorted creams • Municipal cockwash • Bulldog eating porridge (post coital appearance) Pubic Hair • Bear trapper's hat (hairy as a) • Minge • Brillo pad (coarse) • Rusty brillo pad (redheads) • Baby bear Clitoris • The little/bald man in the boat. • The sugared almond • The remote control (can never find it when you need it) • Pearltongue (Chiefly black term.) Labia visible through clothing • Beetle's bonnet • Camel's toe • Monkey's chin • Shark's fin (swimsuit display) • Mumblers (When they can be seen moving through the clothing, but you can't understand a word they are saying.) See Cameltoe.org for the pinnacle of this field of study. Slang for Menses • On the rag • Riding the cotton pony • In the shop • Visit from Aunt Flo • Visit from Grandma • She has the painters in • The Cardinals are at home (can use any sports team with red uniforms) • Chasing the cotton mouse. Slang for Breasts See this diagram for more examples and visual confirmation. • Bazooms • Cans • Dirty pillows • Fried-eggs (too small) • Fun bags • Hoopdie hoops • Knockers • Rib balloons • Spaniel's ears (droopy ones) • Side-winders (spaniel's ears heading for the arm pits) • Sweater mittens • Tatas • Zeppelin race (as in looks like a) Slang for Penis • Beef bayonet • Blue-veined piccolo • Bologna pony • Choad (As long as it is thick.) • One-eyed monster • German helmet • Grower (One that expands greatly when hard. Opposite of Show-er.) • Heat seeking moisture missile • Kickstand • Little _____ (insert your name here) • Locker room terror (very large when soft) • Jack in the Box (uncircumcised) • Mr. Winkie • Meat and two veggies • Mutton dagger • Purple-headed womb broom • Show-er (Large when flaccid. Opposite of Grower.) • Trouser snake • Trouser trout • Third leg • Widow-consoler • Willy • Weasel Many of these terms can be turned into intercourse slang by adding "riding the" as a prefix. Slang for the portion of anatomy between the rectum and the genitals Female • Biffon (what the male's balls biff on during sex) • Fadge (fanny and vag). • Shunt (s*** ~ c***) • Taint • Tweener Male • Barse (balls ~ arse). Non-Gender Specific • Ass neck Slang for Masturbation • Check out this random wanking term generator for some automated humor. • Tremble before this uber list of more than 1500 wankisms. Yes, 1500. No s***. They're even alphabetical. • Wanking • Getting a rock off • Rub one out • Throw a beat Male specific: • Awaken the bacon • Bashing the bishop • Chucking the muck • Call down for more mayo • Clear the custard (long overdue session) • Choking the chicken • Dropping stomach pancakes • Five against one • Make the bald man cry • Meeting Rosy Palmer and her five sisters • Paying the palm pimp • Playing pocket billiards • Peeling chilies • Play the skin flute • Polish the lighthouse (in the bath) • Preparing the altar boy's supper • Strangle Kojak • Take Capt. Picard to warp speed • Tug of war with Cyclops Female • A Waterpix exam • Gusset pianist • Jill off (female version of Jack) • Paddle the pink canoe Slang for Sexual Intercourse • Bang the screen door • Doing the nasty • Don Mr. Happy's business suit (put on a condom) • Driving the beef bus to tuna town. • Give the monkey a banana • Hump like a Schnauzer • How's your father • Hide the salami • Hop into the horse's collar • Inoculation against virginity • Knockin' those boots • Lay some pipe • Park the pink bus in the fur garage • Ride the baloney pony • Run the meat • Sausage and donut situation • Slip'er the crip'ler (debilitatingly vigorous sex and/or penis size) • Vaginal bungee jumping • Vatican Roulette (form of monthly gambling that leads to large families) Intercourse: Special Cases • Cranberry Dip or Salsa dip (once a month) • Dry docked (insufficient lubrication problem that halts the pink submarine) Coitus Interruptus • Get off at Edge Hill (Edge Hill is the last station before Liverpool) • The orchestra broke in (refers to speeches being interrupted by music at awards show). Slang for Anal Sex • Bone smuggling • Driving the Hershey highway • Enter through the back door • Plowing the back field • Gardening uphill • Goin' to brown town There is some overlap with male homosexual terms. Slang for Oral Sex Fellatio • Address the court • Blow the horn • Gobble gobble • Give a hummer • Speak into the mike • Polish the knob • Meeting with Mr. One-Eye • Play the pink oboe • Yaffle the yogurt cannon (voracious technique) Cunnilingus • Airing the orchid • Carpet munching • Gamahuche • Growl at the badger (to make noise while performing) • Impersonate Stalin • Muff diving • Yodel in the canyon (to make noise while performing) Slang for Semen • Baby gravy • Cupid's toothpaste • Gentleman's relish • Human bonding fluid • Man chowder • Population paste • Spooge • That tasty non-dairy treat Slang for Homosexuality • Bats for the other team • Travels on the other bus. Male Terms • Bone smuggler • Back tourist • Double adapter • Fart knocker • Lucky Pierre (the meat in a triple decker man sandwich) • Poof • Pillow-biter • Sausage kennel (butt) • Sneaky butcher (he slides the meat in the back door). • Uphill gardener Female Terms • Lickalotopus • Rug Doctor • Vagitarian Special terms: Beard -- Woman married to a (supposedly) gay man to help keep him closeted. I.E. Nicole Kidman, formerly. Frock -- Male equivalent of a beard, also "lavender marriage". See Richard Gere for Cindy Crawford, if you believe the hype. Slang for Farting • Anal announcement • Float an air biscuit • One-cheek sneak (leaning to the side) • Release a tree monkey from captivity • Room clearer • Silent but deadly (SBD) • Shooting bunnies • Step on a duck. • To speak German • Under-thunder Remarks after a Fart • Catch that one and paint it blue • More tea vicar? • Sew a button on that • There goes the elephant. Slang for Poo • Admiral Browning • Build a log cabin • Burial at sea (stately delivery, I.E. w/o splashing) • Bury a Quaker • Clumsy brown trout (splashes upon entry) • Chocolate shark (larger and fiercer than the brown trout) • Chocolate iceberg • Droppin' a deuce • Drop the kids off at the pool • Drop the Huxtables at the pool (Re: The Cosby Show) • Knit a brown sweater • Lay cable • Montezuma's Revenge • Put Nelson on the train (Mandela) • Three-coiler (impressively long) There's a disturbing strain of poo slang that's based on the presumed color similarity between feces and black people. I had never heard any slang alluding to this prior to posting this page, and starting to get reader emails about it. Yes, I led a sheltered life, though I didn't realize it at the time. It's Coming! • Aztec two-step • Cowboy Walk (long, rolling gait required when the Titanic is just about to set sail) • Got a turtle head poking out. (Said with a Fat Bastard accent, ideally.) • Sitting on an elephant (often as a pre-show evacuation warning) • Sour apple quickstep Other Terms Fingers in both ass and vagina • One in the pink, one in the stink • The shocker • Hold her like a bowling ball Whorehouse • Knocking shop • Poontang plantation A woman (or man) who dies their hair, but not all over • Collar doesn't match the cuffs • Curtains don't match the carpet. Skimpy male underwear • Bag of golf balls • Banana hammock • Grape smugglers • f** bag give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 This might just be the coolest thread I have ever read. then again some beer, and anything looks better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Showtime Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Excuse me, I have to go burn my eyes after reading that Gash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GASHWOUND Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Excuse me, I have to go burn my eyes after reading that Gash. Hey, just givin our good friend TBHBG some of your basic internet lingo and sexual terms and what not. I found it to be very educational..Don't know why they don't teach this stuff in school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandoFan Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 The Hot Karl + Jelly Doghnut? There must be one classy broad out there who'd be willing.... I need a Silkwood-esque scrub just reading that post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bmr31 Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 This might just be the coolest thread I have ever read. then again some beer, and anything looks better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted June 3, 2003 Author Share Posted June 3, 2003 STEFF if I may whats "doable" BE GOOD You're a junior in HS and you don't know what "doable" is...?? What are you implying??? That Hurt is some kind of geek??!?!!! Hurt is cool guy, don't let Steff talk to ya like that..not everyone knows what doable means. All these internet slangs are retarded I'll help you out Hurt..Here's everything you need to know and there meanings... Since when is "doable" an internet slang...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitesox247 Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Can someone help me out with a list of 3 or 4 decent pitchers that will pitch twice this week other than Colon..? I'm thisclose to the lead of my fantasy league and I can't get on ESPN or MLB.com to get matchups for the week. Thanks guys!! Gash that was a little too much educational... but ANYWAYS...Steff, pick up anyone and everyone facing the Sox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxplosion Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Wow Gash, I was about to go over that a few days ago but probably not that much. You hit it much better than I would have. You must have no life... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxplosion Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Yes, they was very educational. Too educational. I laughed my butt off during it but it was kinda sick. But you did warn us so we cant complain... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GASHWOUND Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 STEFF if I may whats "doable" BE GOOD You're a junior in HS and you don't know what "doable" is...?? What are you implying??? That Hurt is some kind of geek??!?!!! Hurt is cool guy, don't let Steff talk to ya like that..not everyone knows what doable means. All these internet slangs are retarded I'll help you out Hurt..Here's everything you need to know and there meanings... Since when is "doable" an internet slang...? It isn't, that's why I added the sexual terms list cause it sorta goes in that catagory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GASHWOUND Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 Wow Gash, I was about to go over that a few days ago but probably not that much. You hit it much better than I would have. You must have no life... You must have no life... I know you're joking, but I don't see the correlation in me posting that and having no life? And again..I know you're kidding! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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