Kyyle23 Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 (edited) I got this email, thought I would share to give you guys a few laughs DEMOCRAT you have two Cows your neighbor has none you feel guilty for being successful Barbara Streisand sings for you REPUBLICAN You have two cows Your neighbor has none. So? SOCIALIST You have two cows The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow COMMUNIST You have two cows The government seizes both and provides you with milk You wait in line for hours to get it It is expensive and sour CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows You are surprsed when one cow drops dead. You spin the announcement to the analysts stating that you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up. FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows You go on strike because you want three cows You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good. JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel in unbelieveably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows You engineer them so they are all blonde, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you dont know where they are While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman You break for lunch. Life is good RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows You have some Vodka You count them and learn you have 5 cows You have some more Vodka You count them again and learn you have 42 cows The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which is two You dont milk them because you cannot touch any creatures private parts You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows They go into hiding They send radio tapes of their mooing POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them BELGIAN CORPORATION you have one cow the cow is schizophrenic sometimes the cow thinks he is French, other times he is Flemish The French cow wants control of the Flemish cows milk The cow asks permission to be cut in half The cow dies happy FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow Everyone votes for the best looking one Some of the people who actually like the brown cow best accidentally voted for the black cow Some people vote for both Some people vote for neither Some people cant figure out how to vote at all Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows They make real california cheese Only 5 speak english Most are illegal Arnold likes the ones with the big Udders Enjoy! Edited April 28, 2006 by kyyle23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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