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YASNY

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DUI - Tennessee Style

 

From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, come this supposedly true story.

 

Recently, a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Paris, Tennessee. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

 

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed like an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of the other patrons left the bar and drove off.

 

Finally, he started his car, switched the wipers on and off --- it was a fine, dry summer night --- flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as more of the other patrons left the bar. At last, when his was the only vehicle left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

 

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on his flashing lights and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidense that the man had consumed any alcohol at all. Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

 

"I doubt it," said the truly proud hillbilly. "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

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