DannyCooksey Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 This is an excerpt from one of the best websites ever created. www.heavethehawk.com. The following pretty much says it all. I cannot see how anyone could dispute this because the guy that wrote this depicts Hawk perfectly without a hint of embellishment. This is your announcer, Hawk Harrelson: Hawk Harrelson, for those who have had the misfortune of listening to him, is a horrible announcer. In fact, he is without question, the worst announcer in all of sports and maybe in the history of sports. There is a great website called: www.heavethehawk.com for those who despise him as much as I do. Here is an excerpt from the site that I feel best describes hawk's vast ineptitude. Enjoy: I'm elated that this site exists. I am a huge baseball fan who moved to Chicago from Detroit about 6 years ago. I moved here with zero allegiances as far as the Chicago teams are concerned, and I endeavored to stay neutral. I root for the Tigers, but at the time they were nowhere near competing for the AL Central title, so any kind of rivalry against the White Sox was far from my mind. I enjoyed the idea of taking in some day games at Wrigley and some night games at Sox park. Then I met the fans. Look, I know this site is about heaving the Hawk, not about knocking White Sox fans, and I'm aware of the reputation of Cubs fans (as drunks who don't follow the game and don't care), but this was too much to ignore. Every time I tried to go there and mind my own business, to quietly score the game in peace, my intelligence was insulted and my patience tested by the biggest group of troglodyte jerks ever collected. Let's make something clear: there are many perfectly cool Sox fans out there. That being said, they are greatly outnumbered by vapid, angry, threatening, vile boneheads who are incapable of seeing a baseball game objectively. I'm convinced the Hawk is a big reason for this. Hawk gets on the air and he hoots, brays, smugly chortles, and, in the event that the Sox getting their asses handed to them, silently broods or whines his way through baseball games. He sees every single negative occurrence for the Sox as an injustice, and he sees every break they get as their Heaven-ordained entitlement. He hammers away at any reasonable viewer's sensibilities by repeating self-made yet hackneyed lines like "he gone!" and "he looks up...you can put-it-onna boooooaaarrrrd...YES!" and "STRETCH!", to name only a few. I like play-by-play guys and analysts who offer something different, and in general I'm delighted by the idiosyncrasies of down-home personalities like Vin Scully, Ernie Harwell, Harry Caray, Dizzy Dean, and the like, but this guy is one giant, bombastic, mind-numbing idiosyncrasy. He's a jackass like a bully in school is a jackass. He's every bloviating egomaniac who calls into sportstalk radio. He's an insufferable bastard, whether he's your uncle, your father-in-law, or your baseball broadcaster. The Hawk has helped to mold an army of fans who are permanently dissatisfied with their second-billing in the city and chronically incapable of seeing things objectively. Hawk will sing most Sox players' praises over and over again in such illogical ways that the notions are seared into the collective consciousness of the fan base. It's one thing to love your team and most of its players, but talk to a Sox fan and you would think that they are following the '27 Yankees. To top it off, they will ***** and moan unless they are given the kind of attention lavished upon the hapless Cubs. You know, the team across town, the one who plays in a stadium devoted to minimal amounts of advertising and keeping the environment clear of things like ear-splitting music and hideous displays of jingoism. Furthermore, Hawk screws up baseball games for people trying to watch on television. When a play-by-play or color analyst chooses to break something down or give some attention to something he thought was interesting or deserved a second look, the production team will follow suit. You'll get to see replays of nifty plays, weird bounces, brilliant pitches, or questionable calls. You'll get to see them unless they have rubbed Hawk and the dopey Colmes to his Hannity, DJ, the wrong way. The Sox get a favorable call or a weird bounce goes their way, and we get rhapsodic praise for the related Sox player instead of honest assessment of what went down. If an opposing player clobbers a homer to put his team ahead, we get dead air and a shot of something random because Hawk is sitting there silently sulking, like a retarded toddler deprived of the crayon he was trying to eat. Watch a real broadcast team with this in mind, and Hawk's lack of anything even resembling professionalism or sense of duty becomes painfully obvious. He is without a doubt the worst in the major leagues, and it isn't even close. I could go on and on like this because it really is that bad. It pisses me off that he gets to butcher that job every day. My point is, thanks for the site. Every bit of your bandwidth is hard earned richly deserved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockRaines Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 you my friend, are a huge nerd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyCooksey Posted May 31, 2006 Author Share Posted May 31, 2006 you my friend, are a huge nerd. i didn't write it. Someone emailed it to me actually. i never knew the site existed until today, but I think it's funny as hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sayitaintso Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 QUOTE(DannyCooksey @ May 31, 2006 -> 06:30 PM) i didn't write it. Someone emailed it to me actually. i never knew the site existed until today, but I think it's funny as hell. So do you like Hawk or not, i got confused about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punch and Judy Garland Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Hawk has declined greatly the last few years in my opinion and I fear that a World Series title has only validated him (in his mind) even more. He says even more stupid s*** like the other day when he praised Cora for sending a guy who should have been out by 30 feet except Martinez dropped the ball. Everyone is "the best I ever saw" etc. Maybe Hawk should watch more baseball than the game he is calling so he would see more guys. I used to like Hawk but he annoys me greatly with the stupid things he says Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyCooksey Posted May 31, 2006 Author Share Posted May 31, 2006 Hawk has declined greatly the last few years in my opinion and I fear that a World Series title has only validated him (in his mind) even more. He says even more stupid s*** like the other day when he praised Cora for sending a guy who should have been out by 30 feet except Martinez dropped the ball. Everyone is "the best I ever saw" etc. Maybe Hawk should watch more baseball than the game he is calling so he would see more guys. I used to like Hawk but he annoys me greatly with the stupid things he says Hawk also claimed during Monday's broadcast that Ozzie Guillen was the greatest split-finger fastball hitter he ever saw. That's laughable. He topped that one off by claiming that Darrin Jackson led the '94 Sox in hitting. That's just pure stupidity, followed by unabashed laziness. Hawk broadcast games for the '94 team. How could he not know that Frank Thomas led the team in hitting that year, winning his secong staright MVP??? The worst part??? He has a phonebook size media guide staring him in the face that would save him from such foolish remarks, but he is too lazy and arrogant to actually open it. He is worhtless. I can't stand Hawk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 (edited) Announcers have to entertain and give info. Hawk is definitely entertaining. His info may not always be spot-on, but whos info always is? Edited May 31, 2006 by knightni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalapse Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Who gives a s***? It's a f***ing announcer get over it. People have some serious hangups concerning Hawk and it's pretty damn sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WHarris1 Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 If I ever cared that much about an announcer I would kick my own ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockRaines Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 QUOTE(DannyCooksey @ May 31, 2006 -> 06:30 PM) i didn't write it. Someone emailed it to me actually. i never knew the site existed until today, but I think it's funny as hell. Im sure. Its not hard to know who emailed it to you, considering i know who runs heave the hawk as many of the people I worked with at a bar in LP know him. Be gone troll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonkeyKongerko Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 I noticed if I watch a Sox game with national broadcasters or listen on the radio, I don't experience as many emotional extremes as when Hawk is broadcasting. He always gets me so pumped when the Sox take a lead and depressed when we suck like now. It's times like these that I don't like listening to Hawk because he makes every Sox loss hurt that much more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buehrle>Wood Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 QUOTE(Kalapse @ Jun 1, 2006 -> 12:23 AM) Who gives a s***? It's a f***ing announcer get over it. People have some serious hangups concerning Hawk and it's pretty damn sad. QUOTE(WHarris1 @ Jun 1, 2006 -> 12:52 AM) If I ever cared that much about an announcer I would kick my own ass. Amen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earthshiner Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 QUOTE(DonkeyKongerko @ May 31, 2006 -> 08:18 PM) I noticed if I watch a Sox game with national broadcasters or listen on the radio, I don't experience as many emotional extremes as when Hawk is broadcasting. He always gets me so pumped when the Sox take a lead and depressed when we suck like now. It's times like these that I don't like listening to Hawk because he makes every Sox loss hurt that much more.This is why I love Hawk. He has declined over the last year or so but he makes me feel the game. I am just as disgusted when the Sox blow a lead. So disgusted I change the channel for a few minutes just to calm myself down. If they come back and take the lead I am sometimes yelling right along with Hawk. He may not be a great play by play guy by todays emotionless ESPN standards, but I will take some half insane fan yelling any day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory Pratt Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 I dislike Hawk for all sorts of reasons -- his Stretch call is grating, and the stories of him running Wimpy out of town by mocking him for being molested as a child really bother me. His "This guy's the best I've ever seen" bulls*** bugs me, but he is just an announcer. For what it's worth, he doesn't really affect my enjoyment of the game, but if I could listen to someone else's announcers, I would. (Well, DJ's good, I like him.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Allen Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 QUOTE(DannyCooksey @ May 31, 2006 -> 06:43 PM) Hawk also claimed during Monday's broadcast that Ozzie Guillen was the greatest split-finger fastball hitter he ever saw. That's laughable. He topped that one off by claiming that Darrin Jackson led the '94 Sox in hitting. That's just pure stupidity, followed by unabashed laziness. Hawk broadcast games for the '94 team. How could he not know that Frank Thomas led the team in hitting that year, winning his secong staright MVP??? The worst part??? He has a phonebook size media guide staring him in the face that would save him from such foolish remarks, but he is too lazy and arrogant to actually open it. He is worhtless. I can't stand Hawk. Actually Ozzie was pretty awesome at hitting splitters. I think Hawk got DJ and Wimpy confused, as Wimpy led the 1983 White Sox in hitting. I get on Hawk from time to time, but he is entertaining to me and I am happy we have him instead of the broadcast school product you see so often these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSHAWKS Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Somewhat off topic, but is anyone else not liking Hawk's "Suck em up, Joe" line when Crede fields ground balls. It sounds way to close to "Suck him off, Joe". While I'm sure Aramis does his best impression of Vito Spatafore in his free time, Crede doesn't look the type. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyCooksey Posted June 1, 2006 Author Share Posted June 1, 2006 but is anyone else not liking Hawk's "Suck em up, Joe" line when Crede fields ground balls. It sounds way to close to "Suck him off, Joe". that never occured to me, but it could be a Freudian slip from Hawk. He has shown Crede an inordinate amount of man-love this season. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rangercal Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 QUOTE(DannyCooksey @ May 31, 2006 -> 10:23 PM) that never occured to me, but it could be a Freudian slip from Hawk. He has shown Crede an inordinate amount of man-love this season. You are not a white sox fan. So why do you give a s***? I am a white sox fan, I love hawk. Always will. I luvvvv when espn uses his lines. QUOTE(Dick Allen @ May 31, 2006 -> 09:38 PM) Actually Ozzie was pretty awesome at hitting splitters. I think Hawk got DJ and Wimpy confused, as Wimpy led the 1983 White Sox in hitting. I get on Hawk from time to time, but he is entertaining to me and I am happy we have him instead of the broadcast school product you see so often these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonard Zelig Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Hawk is a homer, and I admit I am probably biased, but Hawk is far from the worst ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phuck the Cubs Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 There is a concept called mute the TV and listen to the radio. If you hate Hawk, I suggest you grasp the concept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milkman delivers Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 (edited) I still love Hawk. He's like a member of my family now. I love him, but he can still annoy the s*** out of me. Just earlier today I was opening our pool and I had the tv on loud enough to hear outside. Joe Crede's up, and he hits one deep and Hawk does his normal exaggeration of it. I come running in thinking foolishly that I wasn't tricked by Hawk again, but I was. Edited June 1, 2006 by Milkman delivers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punch and Judy Garland Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Radio? Not in the Chris Singleton era my friend. Hawk can take away my enjoyment of a moment by over-slurping or saying stupid hyperbole. I don't let it bother me THAT much but it is mildly annoying. I don't think he should be fired but I'm just saying that he clearly isn't the announcer he was 5-10 years ago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heads22 Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 He may be a senile old coot but he's our senile old coot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Kid Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 QUOTE(Heads22 @ May 31, 2006 -> 10:54 PM) He may be a senile old coot but he's our senile old coot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelasDaddy0427 Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Besides in 94 DJ hit .312... 3rd only to Franco at .319 and Big Hurt .353... Still pretty damn good... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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