Steff Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 A stitch in time saves nine what? Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? Are there any unguided missiles? Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Can a stupid person be a smart-ass? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener? Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it? Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'? Do pilots take crash-courses? Do vampires get AIDS? Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Does killing time damage eternity? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? How can someone "draw a blank"? How can there be self-help "groups"? How come wrong numbers are never busy? How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others? How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you write zero in Roman numerals? How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word? How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? How is it possible to have a "civil" war? How is it possible to run out of space? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk? If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth? If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow? If bees live in an apiary, do apes live in a beeiary? If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from? If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get? If I save time, when do I get it back? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? What do batteries run on? What do people in China call their good plates? What do they call a French kiss in France? What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it? What do you call a male ladybug? What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice? What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours? What happens when you swallow your pride? What if someone died in the living room? What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? What is a refried bean? Why do they have to fry it twice? What was the best thing before sliced bread? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? When people lose weight, where does it go? When something fades in the sunlight, where did the colors go? When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to? Where does the fire go when the fire goes out? Where does the white go when the snow melts? Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg? Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!" Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat? Why are America's parks administered by the Department of the Interior? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Why are highways build so close to the ground? Why are raisins called raisins if they are only dried grapes? Why not just call them dried grapes? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are violets blue and not violet? Why are you expected to slow down in a speed zone? Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders? Why can't we tickle ourselves? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Why do people go to the unemployment office to find a job? Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways? Why do people tell you when they are speechless? Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child? Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore? Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly? Why do they make cars go so fast its illegal? Why do they make scented toilet paper? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up? Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo? Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest? Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag? Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things? Why do you feet smell and your nose runs? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries? Why does a grapefruit look nothing like a grape? Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is a boxing ring square? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is it that to stop a computer you have to click on "Start"? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? You can't have everything. Where would you put it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juddling Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 Why is it when you send something by plane it's called a 'shipment' but when you send something by boat it's called 'car-go'?????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggliopipe Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 that s*** blew mah f***in mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 Why do we say yesterday and last night? Why not yesternight and last day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 Why is that list in alphabetical order? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackparkman Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 why did they come up with the witness protection? why did they let the terminator win the election? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RibbieRubarb Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 If "Pro" is the opposite of "Con"... Then is "Congress" the opposite of "Progress"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WilliamTell Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 I also always wondered what the Roman Numeral for zero is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 QUOTE(WilliamTell @ Jun 6, 2006 -> 04:01 PM) I also always wondered what the Roman Numeral for zero is. There actually is no Roman numeral for Zero. In fact, the concept of a number "Zero" simply didn't exist in the Greek and Roman civilizations as far as I can tell. The 0 that we're familiar with as a symbol didn't really come into existence until the Western Roman Empire was long dead, and before that, only a few civilizations (i.e. the Babylonians) had a concept of a number for nought (most used either a dot or an empty space for that number until around 700 AD) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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