Interesting read

[Queen Prawn]

I started 1st grade when I was 5. My b-day is in late October but my parents somehow got me into kindergarten when I was only 4. I think the cutoff now is they have to be 5 or older by September 1.

 

Same here, except my bday is in mid-November.

Edited August 11, 2006 by Queen Prawn

[Texsox]

Let's remember these rules are more about helping the teachers who don't want to deal with crying kids who were excluded than about anything else. Knowing and working with several elementary teachers I can say they have too much to do than counsel the class geek who wasn't given a Valentine or invited to the party. From that point of view, I side with the teachers. I just wish they would be honest and give that reason than some pop psych lip service.

[Iwritecode]

Let's remember these rules are more about helping the teachers who don't want to deal with crying kids who were excluded than about anything else. Knowing and working with several elementary teachers I can say they have too much to do than counsel the class geek who wasn't given a Valentine or invited to the party. From that point of view, I side with the teachers. I just wish they would be honest and give that reason than some pop psych lip service.

 

Even that's a flimsy excuse. If you deliver the invites personally to all the kids, then they show up the next day and all talk about what the party is going to be like, who got invited and who didn't, etc... Or after the party they talk about what it was like and who was there.

 

Like the kids that weren't invited aren't going to figure it out one way or another?

[CanOfCorn]

Most of us "oldies" on here dealt with it...cried or didn't cry depending on what social status you were...and here we are.

 

Now, we are breeding a bunch of kids that think they deserve to win because they never lost. They expect a VP salary coming out of college, but don't know how to lead. I understand that teachers have other things to do, but, come on, swaddling children while they are on school property is ridiculous.

 

People are scared...scared to be yelled at, scared to be sued, scared to make decisions. And honestly, if you are going to be an elementary school teacher, you have to expect that a child of that age is not going to know how to handle certain things. School is not just book-learnin', it's also learning how to socialize.

[Steff]

Allowing kids to experience the little disappointments as they grow up prepares them to deal with the bigger disappointments life will surely throw in their paths. We wonder why kids go 'Columbine' on us. It's because they weren't taught how to deal with things as they were growing up.

 

I'd say it's those that experience the rejection and don't have proper parents to explain it to them is why things like Columbine happen. Sheltered lives make kids stuck up. Not killers.

 

I think you are digging way to far into what YASNY was saying, and that is why he blew you off, I also think you really missed his point that the way your are brought up has a lot to do with the person you grow up to be.

 

 

And it has to do with the parents not the rejection of not getting invited to a birthday party.

 

 

Additionally, the response was kind in return. The response to that could have been handled better.. but what the hell. f*** it, right?

[YASNY]

I'd say it's those that experience the rejection and don't have proper parents to explain it to them is why things like Columbine happen. Sheltered lives make kids stuck up. Not killers.

And it has to do with the parents not the rejection of not getting invited to a birthday party.

Additionally, the response was kind in return. The response to that could have been handled better.. but what the hell. f*** it, right?

 

Whatever.

[Queen Prawn]

I'd say it's those that experience the rejection and don't have proper parents to explain it to them is why things like Columbine happen.

 

Thank you!!! I was picked on quite a bit from 6th to 8th grade, but always had my parents there to explain the behaviors as well as help to cheer me up. Had that not been the case, I do not doubt that I would have done something stupid just because I would have had so much pent up rage and sadness. Instead, I dealt with it and by the time I got to high school I learned to shrug it off and get involved in activities and with people that didn't give me problems. I ended up haveing a very successful high school and college career because of my parents guiding me through that tough time.

[LowerCaseRepublican]

Thank you!!! I was picked on quite a bit from 6th to 8th grade, but always had my parents there to explain the behaviors as well as help to cheer me up. Had that not been the case, I do not doubt that I would have done something stupid just because I would have had so much pent up rage and sadness. Instead, I dealt with it and by the time I got to high school I learned to shrug it off and get involved in activities and with people that didn't give me problems. I ended up haveing a very successful high school and college career because of my parents guiding me through that tough time.

I concur. Same thing happened with me. Small town and I wasn't a jock so I took spiff from them (including the gym teacher whom in 8th grade I busted for making us run suicides and then lying about it to all of our parents at the meet the teacher night -- I mysteriously got A's for the rest of the year in gym after getting B's from 6th grade until then despite academics being 90% of our grade on which I had perfect mastery)

 

To get away from that frying pan, I went to a private high school -- after which I had a disdain for lots of upper-middle class suburbanites who were so entirely vapid/shallow/racist/insane.

 

Yeah, the feelings sucked during junior high and I too had a lot of anger. But parents helped to channel it and during college, I really got into jokes (writing and performing them) as an outlet. Nothing like letting somebody have it with a zinger because they can't really parade to their friends that they beat up a 155 lb. wirey guy with one good eye for talking some s*** -- especially when everybody else is trying to stifle their laughs so they can appear to be 'outraged' at such sharp criticism. Plus, it allows to diffuse a lot of the stress anger etc. from situations through being able to laugh about it. If anything, they've just made me more driven to do whatever I decide to shoot for.

[Steff]

Whatever.

 

 

 

That condescending suite fits you well these days. Your tailor deserves a bonus.

 

Thank you!!! I was picked on quite a bit from 6th to 8th grade, but always had my parents there to explain the behaviors as well as help to cheer me up. Had that not been the case, I do not doubt that I would have done something stupid just because I would have had so much pent up rage and sadness. Instead, I dealt with it and by the time I got to high school I learned to shrug it off and get involved in activities and with people that didn't give me problems. I ended up haveing a very successful high school and college career because of my parents guiding me through that tough time.

 

 

 

Whatever...

 

 

 

 

[Rex Kickass]

Steff. Stop it.

[The Critic]

participation trophies are stupid and the kids know it.

My daughter loves her trophies.

She played soccer and baseball for the fun of it, and didn't even ask who won or lost.

She just likes to play games, organized or not.

When I played pee-wee baseball, we kept score and I was fine with that.

These days they don't and she's fine with that.

There are pluses and minuses to both methods - for example, I didn't see any kids getting angry at the weaker players on her team, where there definitely was some of that on my teams back then.

If no one's "costing you a win", there's nothing to get upset about.

 

I'm fine with the idea of not keeping score - in my view, the younger leagues should be focused on teaching basic skills and encouraging kids to continue playing. There's plenty of time for competition later on.

[Steff]

Steff. Stop it.

 

 

 

Stop what Rex...?

 

Stop expecting a polite reply in return rather than a snide rude one? Stop expecting folks who make gross and ignorant generalizations to explain their statements when inquired upon? Stop expecting the ability here to call that response out in a polite and respectful manner? Condescending was quite nice considering the alternatives.

[YASNY]

Stop what Rex...?

 

Stop expecting a polite reply in return rather than a snide rude one? Stop expecting folks who make gross and ignorant generalizations to explain their statements when inquired upon? Stop expecting the ability here to call that response out in a polite and respectful manner? Condescending was quite nice considering the alternatives.

 

My "whatever" was my way of saying I'm not going to waste my time arguing with you. You know, politely stepping aside and not getting into a pissing match. Have a nice day.

[dasox24]

I will say that while I don't mind score keeping at a young age, I also wouldn't care if they didn't have it until kids were in about 4th/5th grade or so.

 

This day and age there's WAY too much emphasis put on winning when kids are still really young. IMO, not until 7th grade should winning matter. I think that's a good age to start learning to compete to win b/c by high school, wins really do matter, in more ways than one. The past two years I've coached the same elementary school basketball team (when they were in 5th and then 6th grade), and I've personally had to deal with overwhelming, overbearing, etc. parents that b**** and complain b/c I didn't play their kid enough. However, when I say I didn't play their kid enough, it's not b/c I didn't play their kid, but rather that their kid didn't play the whole game. i.e. The PG on my team was our best player, but his mom b****ed me out after one game b/c I only played him about 80% of the game, and since we ended up losing the game, she thought we'd have won if I kept him in the whole time.

 

Look, these kids are 11 years old, and they all deserve to play. At that age, the children are too young to know who'll end up being a good player or not in high school, which should be a main reason for having little leagues: developing kids for the future. Some kids grow more than others, and others who are already big develop into their bodies and gain hand-eye coordination that they might not have when they're younger.

 

So, it's my job to try to teach the fundamentals the best I can, and prepare these kids for basketball when they're older. I also reward the kids who give it their all every practice with playing time in games. I don't care if the kid isn't very talented. If he works his tail off and dives on the floor for balls, etc., he's going to play if I'm coaching him.

 

On a side note more about coaching than the topic of this thread: Another thing that I did was run man to man defense even though it's harder for kids at that young of an age to play it very well. I hate zone. I mean, we ran a zone at time when it was to our advantage, but man to man is the defense that is overwhelmingly played at higher levels, and these kids should learn to play it now. For you coaches our there, stop babying them by saying, "Just watch this area and don't worry about anything else." That won't make your players better in the long run, though it may help you and your "Win Now" focus.

 

I should end this by saying that while winning shouldn't be the only thing, I do like winning. I mean, I'll deal with loses as long as my guys show improvement. That's all I can ask for. I will say that if you teach the fundamentals, the basics, etc., you will be better off even by season's end. My team steadily made improvement all year. At the beginning of the year, we played a team who beat us by 28. Then, we played midseason and lost by 12. We played a 3rd time in the semifinals in the end of the season tournament, and won by 2 after scoring with 4 seconds left. There wasn't a time when I felt more proud of my guys than at that moment. After the game, the opposing coach told me how he wished his guys were as disciplined as mine and that I ran a helluva team. That was pretty sweet to hear, but it was all b/c I didn't fall into the trap of letting the kids' parents dictate what I did, and I also didn't let the loses at the beginning of the season bother me. I stayed on tract with my plan, and followed thru to season's end. Anyway, this all happened when my players were in 5th grade. Last season as 6th graders, they continued their development and became the best team in the league. It was quite a change in only 2 years' time. I must say that while the parents on the team were always offering me "advice" on what to do against this team or that team 2 years ago, they didn't say squat last season b/c they knew that as a 17 year old at the time, I knew more about coaching than they ever will.

Edited August 14, 2006 by dasox24

[Steff]

My "whatever" was my way of saying I'm not going to waste my time arguing with you. You know, politely stepping aside and not getting into a pissing match. Have a nice day.

 

 

 

Stating a differing opinion, in a polite manner no less, is now arguing?

 

So rather than just say you're not going to have an open mind, and are not willing to admit that your generalization may have been rude you chose to be condescending and immature about it. Gotcha.

 

Good call Balta.

[YASNY]

Have a nice day, Steff.

[Steff]

Have a nice day, Steff.

 

 

Always do.