He_Gawn Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 Alright so I've been seeing this girl for almost 6 months and i learn last night that she's probably going to break up with me very soon. The weird thing is we have been through this before, we went out for 2 months, broke up, she figured out she liked me again and here we are again on the brink again or whatever. I mean I know I wont be with her forever, I just wanted to stay with her throughout high school before I go to college. She says she dosnt see me as the boyfriend type anymore all the sudden, same thing happened last time. The thing is I still have serious feelings for her and feel that maybe eventually over time I could love this girl. I can't stand the thought of not being with her and somebody else even having the chance to. Heck even my parents adore her. I've pretty much given everything shes ever asked for but I guess sometimes its not enough. She will still want to be great friends and everything but I'm a pretty greedy guy and that just dosnt seem good enough for me. On the phone tonight were supposed to talk and I dont know if she plans on breaking up tonight or not, but I know its supposed to be very soon. If someone could give me some advice on what to say, what not to say, and just maybe someway to save our relationship would be very much appreciated. Thanks PS- i really wanna try to save this relationship with her if I somehow can. but let me have it i suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 I hate to be this blunt about it, but if someone wants out of a relationship there's not much you can do about it. Since she's done this before, she probably thinks she can use you as a backup plan if things don't work out with the next one. My advice? You're too young for this crap. Let her break it off and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LowerCaseRepublican Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 QUOTE(The Critic @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 04:04 PM) I hate to be this blunt about it, but if someone wants out of a relationship there's not much you can do about it. Since she's done this before, she probably thinks she can use you as a backup plan if things don't work out with the next one. My advice? You're too young for this crap. Let her break it off and move on. Preach on, my brother! Testify! ::begins swaying arms in the air and speaking in tongues:: But seriously, like Critic said -- you're too young for this crap. Break it off and move on. Honestly, she's running roughshod over you because you're letting her. You're her Plan B and it's pretty obvious that there's a lopsided scale of respect here (you really respect her and she doesn't seem to care all that much about you) It is difficult if not impossible to be good friends with an ex-girlfiend. If she breaks it off with you, just say "Okay, whatever." and hang up. If you're lucky, she'll say something hilarious (many of my ex's have like "We can't date anymore because if you hang out with a person after dark, it implies you're having sex with that person") to make the pill easier to swallow. Yeah, its going to suck in the immediate aftermath of it but you're going to be much better off getting this girl out of your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 13, 2006 Author Share Posted August 13, 2006 But the thing is. She wouldnt never do that to me. She wouldnt ever call me plan me. Shes like not like that at all. Its weird. I dunno, maybe you guys are right.... keep em comin btw thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3E8 Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 What these guys said is good advice. Probably feels too difficult and messed up to you right now, but it's stuff you learn as you get older. If she breaks it off just quickly move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 13, 2006 Author Share Posted August 13, 2006 Thanks man.... should I even try to stay friends with her because shes definently going to wanna be best friends I know it..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_genius Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 04:56 PM) Thanks man.... should I even try to stay friends only if she has hot friends you can get on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 13, 2006 Author Share Posted August 13, 2006 none as hot as her man.... shes drop dead gorgeous.... id post a pic on here but noooo lol... i guess if you wanan see what im dealing with IM me at tyxerose7en...... more advice would be sweet heh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnB Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 unfortunately He_Gawn, I kinda went through this same thing, except the opposite side of it. I was at the point with my current girlfriend, where I didn't dislike her, but I didn't "like her enough" anymore. Sometimes things just don't work out unfortunately and forcing a relationsihp is one of the worst things you can do. Just kind of let things take their course and do what feels natural. Sometimes it sucks, but you can't make a person feel the same way you feel about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WHarris1 Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 04:56 PM) should I even try to stay friends with her because shes definently going to wanna be best friends I know it..... You can try but from personal experience I doubt it works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 13, 2006 Author Share Posted August 13, 2006 tmar knows why its so difficult for me now... hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve9347 Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 if she wants out, you trying to keep her in is the worst thing for both of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan4life_2007 Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 03:07 PM) Alright so I've been seeing this girl for almost 6 months and i learn last night that she's probably going to break up with me very soon. The weird thing is we have been through this before, we went out for 2 months, broke up, she figured out she liked me again and here we are again on the brink again or whatever. I mean I know I wont be with her forever, I just wanted to stay with her throughout high school before I go to college. She says she dosnt see me as the boyfriend type anymore all the sudden, same thing happened last time. The thing is I still have serious feelings for her and feel that maybe eventually over time I could love this girl. I can't stand the thought of not being with her and somebody else even having the chance to. Heck even my parents adore her. I've pretty much given everything shes ever asked for but I guess sometimes its not enough. She will still want to be great friends and everything but I'm a pretty greedy guy and that just dosnt seem good enough for me. On the phone tonight were supposed to talk and I dont know if she plans on breaking up tonight or not, but I know its supposed to be very soon. If someone could give me some advice on what to say, what not to say, and just maybe someway to save our relationship would be very much appreciated. Thanks PS- i really wanna try to save this relationship with her if I somehow can. but let me have it i suppose. Sorry to be blunt -- but let that b.i.t.c.h go. Sorry, I gave very low tolerance for girls that play games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 13, 2006 Author Share Posted August 13, 2006 You hit it on the nail Tony. The phonecall tonight will say a lot. I probably should just let her know how i feel. I need to tell her is OUR decision is HER decision, and she already knows how I feel. Cant fight it really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxy Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 You should be with someone that WANTS to be with you. Not someone that every couple of months changes her mind. Find someone that wants to commit to you without breaking up with you first, changing her mind, and blah, blah, blah. That's just not a healthy relationship. And do try to stay friends. By doing that it will probably reinforce WHY you shouldn't be together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 Hey, man, in May I broke up with my GF of over 3 years, so while our situations are backwards, I'd still like to say something: Being Single is not bad at all. In fact, I love it right now. There's no other person that you have to look out for or anything. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and with whomever you want. It's great. Look, obviously, you really like her, but if she breaks up with you, try not to mope too long. You're young, and there's plenty of other people out there. It's easier said than done, but believe me, you'll see my reasoning once you're out with "the boys" and don't have to worry about her at all. You can even mack on other girls then, lol. Last night I went bowling with some of my buddies (who aren't going to the same college as me, so we thought we'd have a guys night), and surprisingly there were 3 really hot girls bowling a few lanes down from us w/o any guys, so I went over to them, and told them a lane was open next to us if they'd like to bowl there, and even though I got shot down, lol, I still enjoyed being able to do that again b/c for 3 years, I was tied up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 14, 2006 Author Share Posted August 14, 2006 thats true too..... we havnt even broken up yet and still not even 100% its even gonna happen but you guys are making this a lot easier to handle... thanks a ton! keep it comin if theres anything else anyone has to say Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Wow.. you guys sure are dealing with this stuff a lot sooner than back in the "old days" Soxy hit on it with the fact that the back and forth isn't healthy for you, IMO. It shouldn't be so hard, and the mixed messages mess with you no matter how old you are or if you're male or female. If you think the friendship is worth keeping then do so. But I don't think you should keep all your eggs in one basket at your age and stage of life. Good luck regardless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 14, 2006 Author Share Posted August 14, 2006 Its not really the guys steff, its these psycho teenage girls! ahaha.. ok jk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnB Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 I gotta agree with dasox24. After being in a relationship for a couple years, it kinds feels nice to have that "open" feeling and really have no idea what the hell is going to happen next. I can't wait to get back to school man, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LowerCaseRepublican Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(SnB @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 07:30 PM) I gotta agree with dasox24. After being in a relationship for a couple years, it kinds feels nice to have that "open" feeling and really have no idea what the hell is going to happen next. I can't wait to get back to school man, Speaking of getting back to school, if you're watching some Sox games during the year at a pub/tavern in CU, PM me. I'm staying in Urbana for the year (got a job in Rantoul) and am looking for some more drinking buddies since most of mine yuppified and moved to the north suburbs/Chicago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnB Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(LowerCaseRepublican @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 07:47 PM) Speaking of getting back to school, if you're watching some Sox games during the year at a pub/tavern in CU, PM me. I'm staying in Urbana for the year (got a job in Rantoul) and am looking for some more drinking buddies since most of mine yuppified and moved to the north suburbs/Chicago. will do man, considering i'm still underage and the person i usually went to bars with pussied out and graduated (wink wink), I'll be up for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbeFroman Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 (edited) Here's the thing... The goal of any good break up plan is to break it up for good AND at the same time, preserve the opportunity for meaningless sex down the road. In my life, I've found that the best thing to do is to react very calmly, and try to surprise her with how little it seems to bother you. Then find some other chick to hook up with... avoid the old chick for a while, but make sure she finds out through her friends that you're on to the next one. Always be cool.... friendly, but distant. Eventually, one day in college when you're home from spring break getting loaded in you're buddies basement and she's there, you'll remember that she probably is wondering why you took the break-up so well... then add alcohol, and you'll probably nail her. As an aside, I recommend trying not to have any real feelings about a girl until sometime in the later half of college. There's no reason to let a real relationship with all kinds of crappy emotion junk tie you down when you want to go out drinking with the dudes from your frat or your dorm floor. Odds are, if you never actually date the girls, word will get out among chicks that you're a mystery... then a these dumb girls will want to be the one to tame you... figure you out. I have no idea what the hell goes on in thier minds that this happens, but its the way things work. good luck. and remember, anything worth doing is worth doing to excess. Edited August 14, 2006 by AbeFroman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 14, 2006 Author Share Posted August 14, 2006 very solid post... thanks man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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