Only one word can describe this story....

[juddling]

Wal-Mart sued over dive sticks

 

By:

Dave BohmanSt. Petersburg, Florida - Lawyers representing a Bay area child are in a St. Petersburg courthouse…..taking on corporate giant Wal-Mart, and a product supplier seeking millions in damages.

 

The case centers around swimming pool toys known as dive sticks, supplied to Wal-Mart in the 1990's by a Clearwater based Florida Pool.

 

When Marcus Zunner was just three, he was hospitalized with a severe accident from a divestick.

 

Kimberly Zunner, Marcus' Mother:

“He slid into the pool on the slide and he landed on it and it went into his rectum.”

Justin Johnson, Marcus' Attorney:

“He suffered a rectal impalement of about an inch and a half. And he had open abdominal surgery, with a cholostomy.”

WalMart and Florida Pool, are expected to argue the dive sticks were safe, but that that the family misused them, by allowing the child to jump on the sticks in a shallow, inflatable kiddie pool.

 

The stick's are weighted to stand perpendicular to the bottom of the pool, and when they are three to seven feet underwater, kids often dive after them in order.

 

But in shallow water, they may stand just inches below the surface which was apparently what happened when Marcus jumped in.

 

In 1999, the Consumer Product Safety Commission ordered Florida Pool to recall 9,000,000 dive sticks.

 

The company responded in a news release.

 

Florida Pool, 1999 news release:

"Dive sticks are fun and enjoyable when used properly but are not to be used in shallow water."

That recall came after six known injuries were reported to the CPSC, and one year before Marcus' Zunner was hurt landing on a dive stick.

 

Justin Johnson, Marcus Zummer's Attorney:

“It subsequently was banned as a hazardous product.”

Those close to Marcus worry he will need a lifetime of medical care and multiple surgeries as a result of the dive stick accident at a young age.

 

Marcus Zunner is now nine, and according to his lawyer, is doing as well as can be expected.

 

His lawyer says Marcus will be here at points during the trial, but is not expected to testify

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There are a couple of jokes i could use here but i'll refrain for now.....

[Goober]

mariotti would have liked it

[Texsox]

George Costanza: So, did you get your new plates?

Cosmo Kramer: Oh... yeah. I got my new plates. But they mixed them up. Somebody got mine and I got their vanity plates.

George Costanza: What do they say?

Cosmo Kramer: Assman.

Jerry: Assman?

Cosmo Kramer: Yeah. Assman, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!

Jerry: Who would order a license plate that says "Assman"?

George Costanza: Maybe they're Wilt Chamberlain's.

Jerry: It doesn't have to be someone who gets a lot of women. It could be just some guy with a big ass.

Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, or it could be a proctologist.

Jerry: Yeah. Proctologist.

George Costanza: Come on! No doctor would put that on his car.

Cosmo Kramer: Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."

[bmags]

brilliant tex...that was the first thing that popped in my mind...that and that pahliniuk book...what a piece of trash.