Guest Ncorgbl Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 It's here, the series we all love to play, our players included. Some advice for those new to the 'cross town', and reminders for those who've been around. The trolls will be here in force. Worse if they win. Just remember that they are cUB trolls, no threat at all, just a nuisance, kinda like insects, annoying but so much fun to swat. Contrary to what the cUBune would have you believe, nothing will happen to you as you cross Madison Street. No dizziness, no body parts changing colour or falling of, it's still Chicago, just the part of it we try not to talk about, like that 2nd cousin with the twitch. There is no parking avaiable within a boy scout's hike of the ballpark, I guess we've had cars longer than they have. Public transportation is recommended, however, if on a crowded bus, when getting close to the park, if you see a pretty girl and someone grabs your butt, it may not have been her. Caution is advised. As you get close to Wrigley, that smell is not the guy with his fly open, nor the woman with the moustache, those are very different odors. The one I mean is the park itself. If you were ever in the service and had latrine duty, or were ever in a frat house on a Saturday morning, it'll ring familiar. We call it the World's Largest Urinal for a reason. When you get there do not be shocked by public urination on the streets, on people's lawns, etc. It's what they do there. Heck, it's what their star pitchers do there. Once in the park do not expect any good food as we have at Sox Park, it just doesn't exist there. Stick to the beer and popcorn, afterall, who can mess up popcorn? Come to think of it, if it's soggy, don't eat it. The cUB fans will be obvious, they're the ones with cell phones. Many will ask a lot of questions during the game, like 'who's up?', 'what's the score?', 'what'd Samme do?', and such. If Valentin hits a home run and does his 'Samme hand jive thing', one of them is sure to ask you if Samme hit it. Under NO circumstances loan any cUB fan your Sox hat or shirt, as they wll run on the field and try to get even! If you are young, it is recommended you pee before you get in the park. If not, wear water proof, disposable shoes. The troughs overflow regularly, and late afternoon games with the Sun just right can make a rainbow. DO NOT be duped by this phenomonon! If you bring your kids, they can be scarred for life experiencing the troughs, so you are forwarned. To those who don't already know, YES, peeing on the ivy is permissable. Yes, bring corks and throw them on the field. Samme LOVES that! It is recommended to have a stop off point on the way home. Bring extra clothes, stop, change your clothes, shower if you can, fire hydrant is fine, throw out the clothes you wore there, the smell wiill never ever come out. There may be a few I missed, feel free to add any help at all. Surviving Wrigley is a team effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SI1020 Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 I'm about to read this to a certain cub fan I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 That was beautiful advice man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Chappas Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Bring a t.v. or radio. Unless you are in the first ten rows, tickets which you picked up from the cub Scalping Co., you will get no indication of score, inning, batter, line-up, out, or count. Every ball hit in the air is not a homer, unless the wind is blowing out, then just leave as the game will just piss you off. The beer is warm and usually Special Export. Not sure they still make it but the cub has an infinite supply. If you are thinking of leaving the game to drink for less across the street, good luck most prices are the same as the park. Unless you hit the dumpier places and if you are going to do this you might as well hit Western Ave. and with some down to earth people. Transportation, well good luck there, you're on your own. I'll pass, thanks anyway, see you in the Cell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upnorthsox Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Special Export = Old Style with a fancy label. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zach23 Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 It's here, the series we all love to play, our players included. Some advice for those new to the 'cross town', and reminders for those who've been around. The trolls will be here in force. Worse if they win. Just remember that they are cUB trolls, no threat at all, just a nuisance, kinda like insects, annoying but so much fun to swat. Contrary to what the cUBune would have you believe, nothing will happen to you as you cross Madison Street. No dizziness, no body parts changing colour or falling of, it's still Chicago, just the part of it we try not to talk about, like that 2nd cousin with the twitch. There is no parking avaiable within a boy scout's hike of the ballpark, I guess we've had cars longer than they have. Public transportation is recommended, however, if on a crowded bus, when getting close to the park, if you see a pretty girl and someone grabs your butt, it may not have been her. Caution is advised. As you get close to Wrigley, that smell is not the guy with his fly open, nor the woman with the moustache, those are very different odors. The one I mean is the park itself. If you were ever in the service and had latrine duty, or were ever in a frat house on a Saturday morning, it'll ring familiar. We call it the World's Largest Urinal for a reason. When you get there do not be shocked by public urination on the streets, on people's lawns, etc. It's what they do there. Heck, it's what their star pitchers do there. Once in the park do not expect any good food as we have at Sox Park, it just doesn't exist there. Stick to the beer and popcorn, afterall, who can mess up popcorn? Come to think of it, if it's soggy, don't eat it. The cUB fans will be obvious, they're the ones with cell phones. Many will ask a lot of questions during the game, like 'who's up?', 'what's the score?', 'what'd Samme do?', and such. If Valentin hits a home run and does his 'Samme hand jive thing', one of them is sure to ask you if Samme hit it. Under NO circumstances loan any cUB fan your Sox hat or shirt, as they wll run on the field and try to get even! If you are young, it is recommended you pee before you get in the park. If not, wear water proof, disposable shoes. The troughs overflow regularly, and late afternoon games with the Sun just right can make a rainbow. DO NOT be duped by this phenomonon! If you bring your kids, they can be scarred for life experiencing the troughs, so you are forwarned. To those who don't already know, YES, peeing on the ivy is permissable. Yes, bring corks and throw them on the field. Samme LOVES that! It is recommended to have a stop off point on the way home. Bring extra clothes, stop, change your clothes, shower if you can, fire hydrant is fine, throw out the clothes you wore there, the smell wiill never ever come out. There may be a few I missed, feel free to add any help at all. Surviving Wrigley is a team effort. Don't forget to bring earplugs to drown out the toothless crack addict that is the "face" and "voice" of the cubs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxplosion Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Great advice corg... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 This is why, no matter how long I live in Texas, I will always be a Chicagoan at heart. The only thing better than a Sox win is a Cub loss and both will happen in the same day Any chance of putting a 5 day delay on any new signups? Kind of a cooling off period. I would like one troll free zone where if someone says Sox Suck I know it's a fellow fan stating the all too obvious instead of a troll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonkeyKongerko Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Don't talk to anyone that may be a Cub fan. It has been known to kill brain cells faster than many a drug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hotsoxchick1 Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 you foregot to add getting all your shots updated corg.........something worse than sars lurks behind the brick and ivy over there....... you dont want to catch it....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beebeerichards Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Yes, I believe all cub fans are infected with Monkeyf***er Pox. Be extremely careful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wsc425 Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Hey Corg, I see it has come to the attention of you that some one has plagerized. And I know who did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wsc425 Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Corg, I'm admitting it. I never said that I WROTE it, thats why I said I found it interesting, sorry for the plagerism. It was wrong and I'm sorry. This took a lot of balls to admit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Corg, that was so thoughtful and considerate of you to post that. You are a credit to this board for looking out for the well being of you fellow Sox fans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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