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Catch-All Anything Thread


Texsox

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For the past week, these people across the street have their dogs out. They have been barking like crazy at 6am for a few days than last night, they were out barking at 4:30am!!!!! I like dogs but these are big ugly mutts. They just let them bark and never do anything about it.

In the summer, they also have a landscaping company come do their yard on Tuesday mornings at 7AM!!!!! Jesus! Talk about inconsiderate to other people around you!

Not too mention they have lived there for 3 years and still bark at me and our neighbors whenever we walk outside.

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I thought I was going to die last night. I finished my dinner and was about to do the dishes when I sneezed. I aspirated some of my dinner (that came up with the sneeze) - I got it out with a good cough, but my throat closed up and I started asphyxiating. Brian jumped into action at first thinking I needed the Heimlich, but realized what was going on and helped me to start breathing correctly again.

 

Of course he had to interject some humor afterwards and said, "Damn, so close to money (life insurance)."

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My gynecologist was seeing a pregnant patient who had brought along her young daughter to the appointment. The young girl had brought along numerous toys, and as the mother hopped up on the exam table, the gynecologist made conversation with the youngster.

“My you have a lot of nice toys there,” he said.

“I brought them for the baby,” she replied.

With a puzzled look the gynecologist said, “Well, how is the baby going to play with them now?”

The girl replied, “I thought while we were here, you could put them in there for me!”

 

Reprinted by permission of Lynne Murphy © 2000 from Chicken Soup for the Expectant Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Aubery and Nancy Mitchell Autio. In order to protect the rights of the copyright holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior written consent. All rights reserved.

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I received this from a former prosecutor on one of my list serves

 

My own prejudice as an employee of a Church, is to believe in

redemption, in material and genuine change. It happens far less often

than it is claimed to have happened, but it does happen.

 

As for the "claimed to have happened," I remember a particular judge

on a particular occasion. A defendant was standing in front of him

requesting what amounted to a reduction in his sentence to time

served, offering as a reason that while at the [particular named]

correctional institution he had met Jesus, and reformed his life

entirely. Says his Honor, leaning over the bench, having obviously

'smelled a rat,' "Son, so many of you have come back here and told me

that they have met Jesus at the [particular named] correctional

institution, that I have been obliged to conclude that Jesus in fact

resides there; so I am going to send you back to talk with him

further until your sentence has been served."

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QUOTE(Rowand44 @ Jan 18, 2007 -> 09:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Lazy eye for Stu as he got hit in the eye with a football once.

 

I never wish pain on anybody but Stuart Scott sucks. Infact, I have a facebook group with over 50 members, some of which are random people who feel the same way I do called "Stuart Scott Equals Tranny." Join, you know he's a transexual.

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QUOTE(SnB @ Jan 19, 2007 -> 09:12 AM)
Having no class on fridays is sweet.

 

oh and turkey/cheddar lunchables are also sweet.

Nasty...only kind of lunchables I didn't mind were the pizza ones cause the meat was always god awful. Oh and try having no class Friday and Monday cause thats how the real playa's roll (or did roll...now I'm a working stiff, booo).

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greasy: you can put it on the board

heads: YHEs

heads: no thats woronf

heads: wrong

heads: wrong

greasy: lol

heads: wrting

heads: wrong

heads: wrogng

heads: wrong

heads: wrong

heads: wrong

greasy: the price is

heads: ill stop

heads: WROING b**** AND Y)ORUE BHOBBBBBB BARLKER THE b****

heads: im perfecet righ tnow

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QUOTE(Heads22 @ Jan 19, 2007 -> 08:17 PM)
greasy SOLD ME OUT TO W(ILLLIE

 

I WANT SOME f***ING CURLYU FIRIES

 

NOT FIrSE

I WANT FRUIES

 

NOT FIRUOE

FIRED

 

not fries

oh yes fries

Stephen Colbert>>god>>Bill O'Reilly.

 

And man that was some sh*tty wodka I had at social hour.

 

Anyway, bring it on young squire.

 

If you can get your hands on a megaphone, please, drive by Delta Chi saying through the amp: "Delta chi, delta chi, home of Mark Lee, home of Mark Lee".

Edited by Balta1701
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