in diapers ?!

[LosMediasBlancas]

Sorry if this was already posted.

Wow, this woman was NOT messin' around.

 

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/05/space.love/index.html

[DrunkBomber]

I think this lady might have revolutionized the South Side Irish Parade!

[Kyyle23]

I was really surprised it took this long to get a post around here, to tell you the truth. One of my favorite Sports Radio guys had this on his blog today www.czabe.com

 

 

 

Screw sports… let’s talk love-triangle!

 

For starters, we might just as well retire the yearly trophy for “Most F’d Up News Story of the Year” with the female diaper-astronaut-love-triangle-abduction story. Sit me down with a 12-pack, some weed, the entire writing staff from Conan, and give me 2 full days – and I STILL don’t come up with a story this good.

 

I just like how the incredible elements of it all just POP out as hilariously INSANE.

 

1. Astronaut

2. Diapers

3. 900 Mile drive

4. Pepper spray

5. Rubber tubing

6. A metal mallet

7. Buck knife

8. Wig

9. Trenchcoat

10. BB Gun

11. Latex gloves

12. Emails

 

You know, it’s always the f’in EMAILS! Always! Nothing causes more harm, mayhem, lost jobs, embarrassment, trouble, and hurt feelings than EMAIL! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: email will someday KILL us all.

 

Don’t know exactly how, or when, but it will. Trust me. Nothing wastes time, infects our computers, mis-represents true intentions, gets us fired, or allows our loved ones to catch us cheating more than E-F’ING-MAIL!

 

And yet, it sure is a great way to forward porn. So I’m still torn just a bit…

 

Anyhow… back to crazy-ass “Nelly” Armstrong.

 

My first thought was: “Wow. A woman! Go figure…. (snirk… ) Who would have thought?”

 

Now, I’m not saying men don’t do amazingly stupid stuff just because our penis told us to (see “Salisbury, Sean” and “cell phone”). Oh no. We do. We’re morons. Simple celled, throbbing sex-hounds until the day we die, or have to chew our Viagra one tablet at a time.

 

It’s just that most men do things very IMPULSIVELY. If we have the chance, we’ll do it. We’re all about opportunity, not scheme. Women? Oh… THEY scheme! Like a Buddy Ryan coached defense… they scheme.

 

What women won’t like about this story, is that some sexist male pigs (ahem… but not ME per se) will point out that no matter how smart, accomplished or “responsible” a woman might be, there is still a nuclear reactor core in every unit of your species that is prone to have an occasional WILD meltdown of emotions.

 

Remember: this was AN ASTRONAUT! The smarts this girl has in her pinky, I don’t have in my whole body.

 

Yet, when it comes to a MAN, she decides it’s time to pack up the pampers and hotfoot it to Orlando for a little revenge kidnapping.

 

WTF!

 

In other words, all along that 900 mile drive, NOT ONCE does her “astronaut brain” say to her “woman brain”: “Whoa…. Baby. What ARE we doing here? It’s just a penis!”

 

We’re talking at LEAST 14 hours of sitting in a diaper full of your own stank to sort of weigh out the pros and cons. And the “CONS” of the whole scheme, never even got a chance to stand up on the floor of the house to make an argument!

 

Incredible!

 

It really should send a chill down most men’s spines, because it is a window into the operational focus of a woman pissed off. Do not – REPEAT – do NOT make them angry. As Bill Bixby once warned: “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

 

Still… I have questions. Soooo many questions…

 

1. She’s a half decent looking gal, and she’s in a whole ORGANIZATION full of nerdlingers at NASA. Play the field honey, play the field.

 

2. Unless she had reserve tanks of gas jerry-rigged in her trunk (and hey, she’s an astronaut, so I’m NOT ruling it out) she would still have had to stop for gas. Why not pee then? And did she CHANGE her astro-diaper while at the Stuckeys?

 

3. Confused about the rubber tubing. Wouldn’t seem to make for very good “rope” to tie somebody up with. Explain.

 

4. This diaper thing again. I now know astronauts wear them on launch and landing. Why? Don’t want big brown stains on those clean orange jump suits? Does the re-introduction of gravity upon landing, pull that mud right outta ya? When it comes to talking about “The Duece”, I never get bored with it. Talk to me girl.

 

5. How come NASA hasn’t canned her already? I mean, like you’ll put her up in space ever again? Please. Good thing her “plan” wasn’t to crash the shuttle into this woman’s house. Don’t laugh. We’re talking outer-orbit CRAZY here.

 

6. Did she watch Apollo 13 before she left to get herself “psyched up” for the kidnapping, like the way Ray Lewis watches “Gladiator” before every game? Did she say to herself just before pulling into Orlando: “Gentlemen, I believe this is going to be our finest hour.”

 

I’ll continue to muse about this story as the facts come in. Now.. back to sports…

 

[Chisoxfn]

WOW

[WilliamTell]

crazy stuff

[FlaSoxxJim]

Yeah, she sounds crazy but, heck, this dude's a CATCH!

 

 

[knightni]

His head's square...

 

[RockRaines]

out here in San Diego they are taking calls from people who have tried or want to try and get back at cheating boyfriends husbands etc. There was a woman who called up who has tried and failed at killing two ex lovers, then another girl call up and said she was on her way to shoot her boyfriend for cheating on her. How many crazy women are out there?

[Controlled Chaos]

You should keep your hoe on a leash.

Hey, hey, hey, b****'s runnin' wild, man.

[DrunkBomber]

out here in San Diego they are taking calls from people who have tried or want to try and get back at cheating boyfriends husbands etc. There was a woman who called up who has tried and failed at killing two ex lovers, then another girl call up and said she was on her way to shoot her boyfriend for cheating on her. How many crazy women are out there?

they should monitor the phone callas and arrests these nut bars.