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Tips or advice for this dating situation...


WhiteSoxFan1

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QUOTE(AssHatSoxFan @ May 23, 2007 -> 02:31 PM)
i wouldnt say missing a WNBA is being deprived of anything except for maybe the obvious fundamentals of the women since they can't dunk

 

Id laugh if I wasnt so annoyed. :bang

 

 

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ May 23, 2007 -> 11:34 AM)
Weren't you the same person who asked for dating advice on here a couple of months ago about a sticky situation involving a girl who would probably go back to her old ex?

 

yea, things didnt work out. :D

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QUOTE(WhiteSoxFan1 @ May 23, 2007 -> 08:55 AM)
How am I being immature?

 

Her life is ran like a goddamn concentration camp. no lie

 

She is litterally controlled by them, and its kind of sad to watch because she doesnt know any other way so she doesnt even know how messed up it really is. Forget hanging out with me, they wouldnt even let her go to a party with her best friend on friday, or go to a wnba game with her friend tomorrow, whos a female. Seriously, this girl is being deprived of so much.

 

She's 17. It's for them and only them to decide. If more parents ran their kids' lives like a (Lord's name in vain) concentration camp, we'd all be a lot better off.

 

You're 20. It's useless to argue this with you. I didn't think you'd understand anyway - that's why I said "10 years from now..."

 

And before you get "annoyed" with me remember you're the one asking for advise. You asked, I gave. You don't have to like it. Also realize this is coming from a guy that "dated" a younger girl in high school and had to deal with the same kind of parents - they balmed me for her bad grades, bad attitude, you name it. I thought they were nuts. Now, 15 years later, I realize they were right and I had no idea how to treat a girl. I treated her like crap and I'll be damned sure not to let any of my three daughters hang out with or date anyone that acts they way I did or the way you are.

 

QUOTE(Steff @ May 23, 2007 -> 07:36 AM)
Good daddy. ;)

 

Where have you been? We've missed you! :wub:

Edited by mreye
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QUOTE(Steff @ May 23, 2007 -> 10:33 AM)
LOL, all 5 of you. :lolhitting

A lot of traveling, some medical stuff, and most recently, baking a bun. ;)

 

Holy cow! Awesome! Congrats! :cheers

 

 

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ May 23, 2007 -> 10:36 AM)
Threadjack!!!

 

Congrats :cheers

 

PS, you have to share the recipe, because we have one in the oven as well!

 

Eeek! I'd better stay away from my wife, we don't need anymore! Congrats, Mike. :cheers

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You cant change people and the fact that you are already putting your own value judgements on how her parents treat her does not bode well.

 

Your 20 shes 17, if you think you are going to be able to take on her parents at this point in your life you are going to be humbled.

 

My advice is to toss your attitude and either give whatever her parents want you to be the good old fashioned college try, or just let it be.

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QUOTE(mreye @ May 23, 2007 -> 03:27 PM)
She's 17. It's for them and only them to decide. If more parents ran their kids' lives like a (Lord's name in vain) concentration camp, we'd all be a lot better off.

 

You're 20. It's useless to argue this with you. I didn't think you'd understand anyway - that's why I said "10 years from now..."

 

And before you get "annoyed" with me remember you're the one asking for advise. You asked, I gave. You don't have to like it. Also realize this is coming from a guy that "dated" a younger girl in high school and had to deal with the same kind of parents - they balmed me for her bad grades, bad attitude, you name it. I thought they were nuts. Now, 15 years later, I realize they were right and I had no idea how to treat a girl. I treated her like crap and I'll be damned sure not to let any of my three daughters hang out with or date anyone that acts they way I did or the way you are.

Where have you been? We've missed you! :wub:

 

Ah no sir, I wasn’t annoyed with you. I just meant annoyed with the situation in general. Its like we text, talk and chat throughout the day until we go to the bed, and then it all starts again in the morning with a wake up greet and its starting to feel like were bonding. However, when it comes to hanging out or making any kind of plans threes always question marks and uncertainty if or when she can because of her parents. So that’s what’s getting annoying. I asked for the advice so ill take the criticism along with it no problem. Ive just never dealt with it, and the easy advice of “move on and find someone else” isn’t really the answer im looking for right now.

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QUOTE(WhiteSoxFan1 @ May 23, 2007 -> 10:42 AM)
Ah no sir, I wasn’t annoyed with you. I just meant annoyed with the situation in general. Its like we text, talk and chat throughout the day until we go to the bed, and then it all starts again in the morning with a wake up greet and its starting to feel like were bonding. However, when it comes to hanging out or making any kind of plans threes always question marks and uncertainty if or when she can because of her parents. So that’s what’s getting annoying. I asked for the advice so ill take the criticism along with it no problem. Ive just never dealt with it, and the easy advice of “move on and find someone else” isn’t really the answer im looking for right now.

 

Oh, OK, no problem. The advice wasn't so much "move on and find someone else" as it is like badger said above. You're not going to beat them and fighting them will only make their will stronger. On the other hand, if you meet them and treat them with respect (don't lie about your age) you may, MAY, win them over and they may lighten up. It's the only way. They've never met you and you expect them to let their underage daughter to go out late to a concert with you? You have to earn their trust. Show this girl how much you like and respect her by doing just that. Not by lying to them and rolling your eyes about them.

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QUOTE(Steff @ May 23, 2007 -> 10:44 AM)
There's at least 2 other members here cooking as well.

 

Awesome!

 

BTW, for the original thread poster, quit stressing over this stuff. You are still young enough, you shouldn't have this much angst over each relationship you are in. Relax and enjoy the relationships you are in, and if they don't work, move on. Don't lose sleep over it.

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QUOTE(mreye @ May 23, 2007 -> 03:59 PM)
Oh, OK, no problem. The advice wasn't so much "move on and find someone else" as it is like badger said above. You're not going to beat them and fighting them will only make their will stronger. On the other hand, if you meet them and treat them with respect (don't lie about your age) you may, MAY, win them over and they may lighten up. It's the only way. They've never met you and you expect them to let their underage daughter to go out late to a concert with you? You have to earn their trust. Show this girl how much you like and respect her by doing just that. Not by lying to them and rolling your eyes about them.

Makes sense.

 

That is the route ill take if it comes to that, but im going to let her decide what she wants. If she wants me to meet her parents and try that route then ill do it, and if shed rather just lay low because shes scared of her father then ill do the best I can to make her feel as comfortable as possible. I dont know how much I can take since Ive come to the conclusion that I easily get anxious, and when that happens im pretty needy when it comes to hanging out with people. haha. I dont do long distance or text/phone relationships.

Edited by WhiteSoxFan1
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QUOTE(mreye @ May 23, 2007 -> 10:27 AM)
She's 17. It's for them and only them to decide. If more parents ran their kids' lives like a (Lord's name in vain) concentration camp, we'd all be a lot better off.

Children who live in that type of a household will always rebel at one point or another, its up to the kids psyche to how bad of a rebellion. There is a happy medium between leave alone parenting and nazi parenting, neither one is a good choice.

 

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ May 23, 2007 -> 10:36 AM)
Threadjack!!!

 

Congrats :cheers

 

PS, you have to share the recipe, because we have one in the oven as well!

Man you have strong swimmers.

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QUOTE(RockRaines @ May 23, 2007 -> 12:48 PM)
Children who live in that type of a household will always rebel at one point or another, its up to the kids psyche to how bad of a rebellion. There is a happy medium between leave alone parenting and nazi parenting, neither one is a good choice.

 

 

 

Perhaps it's because that's all that's heard about (the rebelling), but IMO that's a not so nice generalization. As well, were only getting one side of the story - the side that wants some you know what. Not that there's anything wrong with that.. but like I said before perhaps go searching for it with someone more compatable to your lifestyle. Also, dating a 17 year old is only going to get worse once you turn 21.

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QUOTE(WhiteSoxFan1 @ May 23, 2007 -> 11:19 AM)
Makes sense.

 

That is the route ill take if it comes to that, but im going to let her decide what she wants. If she wants me to meet her parents and try that route then ill do it, and if shed rather just lay low because shes scared of her father then ill do the best I can to make her feel as comfortable as possible. I dont know how much I can take since Ive come to the conclusion that I easily get anxious, and when that happens im pretty needy when it comes to hanging out with people. haha. I dont do long distance or text/phone relationships.

Dude, do you remember my advice to you last time you asked a question on here? Take the same advice.

and your Italian on top of it....this s*** is suppose to come natural to ya!!

 

Wow...it's like Soxtalk's very own bake sale!! Congrats everyone!!!!!

Edited by Controlled Chaos
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QUOTE(Controlled Chaos @ May 23, 2007 -> 02:08 PM)
Dude, do you remember my advice to you last time you asked a question on here? Take the same advice.

and your Italian on top of it....this s*** is suppose to come natural to ya!!

 

 

J got a HUGE laugh out of that one!!! :lolhitting

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QUOTE(Controlled Chaos @ May 23, 2007 -> 07:08 PM)
Dude, do you remember my advice to you last time you asked a question on here? Take the same advice.

and your Italian on top of it....this s*** is suppose to come natural to ya!!

 

Wow...it's like Soxtalk's very own bake sale!! Congrats everyone!!!!!

 

Nice call. I dont have too many problems finding ladies, but its the uncontrollable drama that I have trouble with.

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QUOTE(WhiteSoxFan1 @ May 22, 2007 -> 04:39 PM)
Also im 20 and shes 17, and that would be just another of the many things wed have to LIE about in this situation.

 

I dunno. Ill take any help, advice or opinions I can get.

 

Please don't take this the wrong way, but as my daughter is 17 next month, you are the personification of my worst nightmare. I am sure your a realy nice guy at heart but you are a guy, a 20 year old guy and if you are anything like I was at 20 I wouldn't want you within shouting distance of my daughter.

 

I believe your just setting your self up for at best, a whole lot of frustration and at worst frustration and an empty wallet. If she is anything like the majority of 17 year olds she will be far less mature than you in most ways and in the long run will probably end up siding with her parents, who believe it or not are imposing what seem from the outside at least, draconian restrictions, on her socialising because they love her, want only the best for her and feel that their way is the right way. There is no way on this earth that a hormone driven lad about town is going to change their minds, no matter how often he mows the lawn.

Move on, find someone nearer your own age, there are plenty others out there.

 

By the way I do allow my daughter to go out most weekends, she even stays away occasionaly, but only because she socialises with a large group of her peers and I know them all.

Edited by DePloderer
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QUOTE(DePloderer @ May 23, 2007 -> 06:50 PM)
Please don't take this the wrong way, but as my daughter is 17 next month, you are the personification of my worst nightmare. I am sure your a realy nice guy at heart but you are a guy, a 20 year old guy and if you are anyting like I was at 20 I wouldn't want you within shouting distance of my daughter.

 

I believe your just setting your self up for at best, a whole lot of frustration and at worst frustration and an empty wallet. If she is anything like the majority of 17 year olds she will be far less mature than you in most ways and in the long run will probably end up siding with her parents, who believe it or not are imposing what seem from the outside at least, draconian restrictions, on her socialising because they love her, want only the best for her and feel that their way is the right way. There is no way on this earth that a hormone driven lad about town is going to change their minds, no matter how often he mows the lawn.

Move on, find someone nearer your own age, there are plenty others out there.

 

By the way I do allow my daughter to go out most weekends, she even stays away occasionaly, but only because she socialises with a large group of her peers and I know them all.

But is she single? We might have a match for him!

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A few thoughts:

 

The drama with women NEVER ends.

 

If you continue to try to see this girl, it will be YOU who is creating the drama.

 

I don't know you or much about this situation so I could be wrong, but I think there is more going on here. I think the real issue is that you don't like being told what you can and can't do. So it's become a little bit of a battle with her parents. It's not really about the girl. How am I doing?

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