Soxtalk Quotes of the Second Half of 2007

[SleepyWhiteSox]

Finally made it.

[Texsox]

Finally made it.

 

Congratulations.

[Buehrle>Wood]

"My son is going as this(a skeleton), when my cub fan loving neighbors ask him what a scary skeleton he is. I am going to tell him, he isnt a skeleton, he is a baseball player from the last cubs world championship team."

 

-SSI

[knightni]

http://www.soxtalk.com/forums/index.php?sh...p;#entry1517816

 

Nomination for thread of the year.

 

Edited October 11, 2007 by knightni

[The Critic]

Florida Jim knows how to get rid of skunks!!!!

 

But, seriously, calling animal control is not the only option. If the skunk is a male and you or one of your neighbors has a pet cat (black with a white belly works best), you can arrange for it to rub against some wet white paint and the resulting stripe down its back often fools skunks into thinking the cat is a female skunk. At that point you can usually get the cat to lead the skunk off your property. I have seen Chuck Jones depict this very strategy on several occasions, so I think your chances of success are quite high.

 

[A quick word of caution, however. Make sure the cat knows if she is running away from le' skunk and finds that she has accidentally run off the edge of a cliff, she should NOT LOOK DOWN, because she apparently will only succumb to the pull of gravity after she has looked down to discover she is suspended in mid-air.]

 

[BigSqwert]

From the environment thread in the filibuster (Gregory Pratt)

"The planet has a fever. If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor. If the doctor says you need to intervene here, you don’t say, well I read a science fiction novel that tells me it’s not a problem. If the crib’s on fire, you don’t speculate that the baby is flame-retardant. You take action. The planet has a fever."

[Texsox]

Amen. For the information age, people as a whole are more stupid then ever before.

 

 

I disagree and I'll tell you why. But first let me get back to this Jerry Springer episode.

 

Pure comedic gold.

[Texsox]

I believe the kids call this getting pwned

 

This Friday I clocked in at 5-9.5, 126.0 lbs.

 

 

wow...same as my sister.

[Kyyle23]

For what its worth, Paxson told the Daily Herald that the rumor is false.

 

 

Yes, but it was recently 90% true. So, if it's totally, 100% false, that makes it only 10% false overall. It has to be 190% false before we can really dismiss it.

 

LOL, jackie I almost spit my water on my new keyboard

[southsider2k5]

on a side note.... do you think Brian Anderson has luscious curly blonde pubes like the hair on his head?

just thought id break some of the tension...... Darin Erstad's pubes can smooth stone, cause ya know he's grindy.

 

[NorthSideSox72]

Funny stuff in the Buster...

 

Sino-Chino relations have been bad for a long, long time.

 

Sino-Chino?

 

Chinese relationship to casual pants?

 

[kapkomet]

That was good.

[Texsox]

Well if they miss out on the large mix, this is what you will get at soxfest.

 

 

Hawk at Soxfest "You know who I think is going to have a superstar breakout year, Jerry Owens. I am so glad that Kenny was so wise not to sign a guy to a large crazy contract. I mean I love Aaron Rowand and Torii Hunter is a superstar, but something about speed. You know speed doesnt slump. Stats don't tell the whole story of a players worth. Dont tell me that you hit it, tell me when you hit it. Remember the magical season in 05, what got us there. That would be Scott Podsednik and small ball. I love Ozzieball"

 

I can hear it so well

[Texsox]

A primer on posting

 

Sorry I don't read all 33 pages of this thread.

 

 

Probably best not to post in it then.

[Texsox]

In the man shoots goat when his wife would not bring him beer

 

Ah s***.

 

He'll never win a World Series now.

 

Two hours later I was doing something else and finally got the joke

[Texsox]

From the "what was your worst Christmas gift ever

 

2 girls, 1 cup in HD

 

 

[knightni]

Sox should sign Barry Bonds to a 1 year deal? That's unpossible!

 

 

Urge to kill...rising...

 

[Kid Gleason]

You don't live longer without sex, it just SEEMS longer.

.....or so I've heard.....

[Texsox]

In the Vick gets sentenced thread

 

Wow 23 months!! That's almost 14 dog years!!

 

/obligatory

[knightni]

Vance Law on how the Mitchell Report interview really went down.

 

Mitchell grilling Radomksi under hot lights:

 

Radamski: I swear that's it. Those are all the players. I swear.

 

Mitchell: [slams fist on table] c'mon, Radomski, talk! Goddamn it, if I don't start hearing names, you'll be the locker room attendant for the f***ing Toledo Mud Hens. You think I was born yesterday? Brian Roberts, Clemens, Pettite, David Justice, Mo Vaughn, Eric Gagne and those other 55 players and that's it??

 

Radomski: Ok, ok, you're right. I'll talk. There was also..........uh.......Jim Parque?

 

Mitchell: Jackpot! Nailed him. Allright, call the commisioner, this investigation is over.

 

[Brian]

From Heads.

 

Women. Anyone got an instruction manual?

[Heads22]

Flaxx. That sly devil.

 

 

Hello Spears family. I am Timmy your friendly Trojan Condom. Remember me before your next sexual encounter.

 

 

When they turn blue like that, it means it's safe for Pac-Man to eat them, right?

 

 

 

[Kid Gleason]

From the Asteroid hitting Mars thread in SLAM:

 

Whats to like about Mars. Especially with this little guy running around trying to stroke the fires of interplanetary war with his Uranium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator. Hope the damn Asteroid hits him in his head.