Steff Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 Anyone have any suggestions on how to handle a big mouth in the family? And it's not just yapping.. it's yapping about personal business, embellishing to the point of basically lying about s*** to make themselves look better. I have no idea what to offer as advice. If someone yaps about my business I just tell them to shut up.. It's my friends mother doing the yapping. They have been estranged for nearly a year and apparently the mother went to an event and talked about personal things to make it look like she's got a great relationship with her daughter and it got back to my friend and she is pretty ticked and asking me if she should confront her mom. I say yes, but I'm pretty sure I'm not normal in regards to confronting folks. Anyone deal with family crapola like this and have any suggestions? TIA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kapkomet Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 First, family should be important. With that in mind, confronting is probably the best thing - but do it in such a way that is humble, not pissed off, if that makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve9347 Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 gotta bring it up, but in a heart to heart, not a confrontation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted August 3, 2007 Author Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(kapkomet @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 10:27 AM) First, family should be important. With that in mind, confronting is probably the best thing - but do it in such a way that is humble, not pissed off, if that makes sense. Sadly it doesn't seem this woman cares too much about family. Her daughter has not spoken to her in nearly a year because of something serious she did and she hasn't apologized, and honestly she doesn't even think she did anything wrong. It's very odd. I've been friends with my friend for 19 years so I know the make-up of their family pretty well and I think she's asking because "humble" doesn't work and it would be a high tension situation if she did say anything. Me, I just walk up and say "keep your mouth shut about my business" and that's that. With them it may be WW3 so that's why I wasn't sure if telling her to say something is wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted August 3, 2007 Author Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(Steve9347 @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 10:30 AM) gotta bring it up, but in a heart to heart, not a confrontation. Unfortunately her family doesn't comprehend "heart to heart". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanOfCorn Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 Not to be rude, but why are you confronting her? Why isn't your friend confronting her own mother? Just curious. Advice: All you can do is make her aware of the fact that she is doing it and it's hurting her family member. After that, it's on her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxy Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 Sounds like her mom is a piece of work. I'm not sure saying something to her mom would actually accomplish anything. If I were her, I would continue being estranged from her and thank my lucky stars I don't have to deal with Cpt. Crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted August 3, 2007 Author Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(CanOfCorn @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 10:43 AM) Not to be rude, but why are you confronting her? Why isn't your friend confronting her own mother? Just curious. Advice: All you can do is make her aware of the fact that she is doing it and it's hurting her family member. After that, it's on her. Not to be rude, but why are you accusing me of doing something I'm not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted August 3, 2007 Author Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(Soxy @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 10:45 AM) Sounds like her mom is a piece of work. I'm not sure saying something to her mom would actually accomplish anything. If I were her, I would continue being estranged from her and thank my lucky stars I don't have to deal with Cpt. Crazy. This is what I am leaving towards. This is also the friend who was abused by the uncle and the mom was not so supportive during that mess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LowerCaseRepublican Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(Soxy @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 11:45 AM) Sounds like her mom is a piece of work. I'm not sure saying something to her mom would actually accomplish anything. If I were her, I would continue being estranged from her and thank my lucky stars I don't have to deal with Cpt. Crazy. A winner is you, Soxy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve9347 Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(Steff @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 11:45 AM) Not to be rude, but why are you accusing me of doing something I'm not? Man... he was just trying to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted August 3, 2007 Author Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(Steve9347 @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 10:47 AM) Man... he was just trying to help. By stating incorrect s***. The irony of your post.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted August 3, 2007 Author Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(LowerCaseRepublican @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 10:46 AM) A winner is you, Soxy. She rocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sox4lifeinPA Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 How do people normally handle your big mouth? I Kid Because I Can® Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory Pratt Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 (edited) Yeah, I'm with you, Steff -- "shut the f*** up," end of discussion. You drain your grain and you drain your brain. You know what I'm saying? I don't know where that came from. (It's an old Dugout that's on my mind.) Really -- shut the f*** up, make sure you never tell her anything or let anyone else tell her anything, and that's that. I have a few relatives I'm estranged with and whenever there's bulls***, the relationship's beyond repair unless they apologize for their past bulls*** I say, Shut up, and it usually works for a good while, with some people just leaving you be. Edited August 3, 2007 by Gregory Pratt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted August 3, 2007 Author Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(Gregory Pratt @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 11:04 AM) Yeah, I'm with you, Steff -- "shut the f*** up," end of discussion. You drain your grain and you drain your brain. You know what I'm saying? I don't know where that came from. (It's an old Dugout that's on my mind.) Really -- shut the f*** up, make sure you never tell her anything or let anyone else tell her anything, and that's that. I have a few relatives I'm estranged with and whenever there's bulls***, the relationship's beyond repair unless they apologize for their past bulls*** I say, Shut up, and it usually works for a good while, with some people just leaving you be. See, I don't know what is so hard about doing buisiness like that. Although I'm sure it wouldn't work if the rest of the family wasn't all like that in some way. I'm lucky in that regard. Thanks for the insight Greg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory Pratt Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE(Steff @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 12:18 PM) See, I don't know what is so hard about doing buisiness like that. Although I'm sure it wouldn't work if the rest of the family wasn't all like that in some way. I'm lucky in that regard. Thanks for the insight Greg. Yeah, I don't get why more people can't be very forward. Some people can pull it off and come off as jerks, and some pull it off and come off as very wise, and some people can't pull it off at all and people laugh at them when they assert themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammerhead johnson Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 I let my gun do the talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 QUOTE(Soxy @ Aug 3, 2007 -> 11:45 AM) Sounds like her mom is a piece of work. I'm not sure saying something to her mom would actually accomplish anything. If I were her, I would continue being estranged from her and thank my lucky stars I don't have to deal with Cpt. Crazy. I agree 100%. Cut her out, and leave her to wallow in her own misery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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