Byrd's Eye View of God

[Gregory Pratt]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story...mp;sportCat=mlb

 

Sam Alipour: What spurred you to write this book?

 

Paul Byrd: Here's the thing, I haven't had a Greg Maddux career, a career that warrants a book. Mine is a spiritual journey. It's an inside look at what it's like to have a spiritual journey and be on a baseball team, an encouragement for people who struggle to not give up and engage in the battle of walking with God in a lifestyle that's tough to do so. I'm called to a locker room that's a different kind of church. It's not the front lines of the world, but there's filthy stuff in the locker room and on the road. It's tough to walk with God when you have all of these options staring you in the face. I'm respected for surviving this lifestyle and loving my wife and family, things like that. Christian book writers will say that they had a guy they counseled with that struggled with this. Well, I didn't counsel with anyone. This is me. The author. I don't call people out like Canseco. I share my struggles. I think the last thing the Christian community needs is another person who says they have it all together, a 12-step process for being perfect. That doesn't exist. I can help people by being honest.

 

ALCS

 

Indians-Red Sox

series page

 

Alipour: It's clear you have a lot to share, but will this book speak to non-Christians, readers who might not respond well to preaching?

 

Byrd: People who aren't Christians, like one of my good friends in the game who's an atheist, read it and was like, "Man, I've never heard somebody be open about this. They usually write about how they have it all together, and here you are telling me about the things you struggle with." I also gave [the book] to someone who doesn't play baseball, and he was like, "You struggle with this in your job, competing against your teammates, and it's the same way at my work." So far, the response has been terrific. I have two publishers who have made firm offers, so it's officially going to become a book for next spring. What's cool is they're both major publishers with spiritual, religious divisions. And it's going to be available in both Christian bookstores and regular, secular bookstores like Borders.

 

Alipour: What's your religious background?

 

 

Byrd: I grew up in a mildly religious background. My mom took me to Catholic church. I went to Catholic school. But I became a Christian somewhere in '91. I was the guy who said a prayer to receive Christ about 35 times, but kept struggling with all kinds of stuff. Eventually, I realized I'm not perfect. I need to relax. When I was honest with where I was, it made a difference in the lives of people around me. Here they were thinking I have no struggles, no issues. But I said, "No man, I battle stuff all the time."

 

Alipour: You describe this book as being graphic. How so?

 

Byrd: It's not a politically correct book. It's not for a young audience. It's for people in their 20s and 30s that go through similar battles, like with pornography. I've had a real struggle with pornography, from before I became a Christian, when pornography was the good old American way. After I became a Christian, it really began to bother me, but God didn't really take it away. I struggle with porn one night, and somebody asks me a question about Jesus the next day in the outfield, so you feel like a hypocrite trying to share. It's the elephant in the locker room.

 

Alipour: In what other ways does the game test your faith?

 

Byrd: Religion can go over into every area, like whether I should cheat out on the field. I write about the desire to just make money at any cost. I share about my temptation to spit on the ball, put KY jelly on it or scuff it, to win more games and make more money. That's a big temptation for me, being a guy who throws 82, who relies on movement. You have a pull, because you have a certain window up here that stares you in the face. Are you willing to take steroids? Because that's available. People viewed that as me being weak. Like, "This guy doesn't want to win."

 

I also write about what it's like to play on a team where you're trying to get a start and, in a weird way, you can start to pull against your teammates. You're like, "Man, I want my chance." And the only way you get your chance is if the other guy does bad. You have these thoughts, like "Man, that's not right. Why did that pop into my head?" These are the things you encounter when you try to walk with God.

 

Alipour: Will you also be covering infidelity?

 

Byrd: Yeah. I don't really cover it a whole lot. I'm married, but I never really struggled with that, so for me to say, "Other people struggle with this," that would come across as me pointing the finger. I think everybody knows that can be an issue.

 

Alipour: What are your thoughts on how the Jon Kitna backlash went down?

 

Byrd: You know what? That's Jon Kitna. I like when guys say what's on their mind. I don't know him, but now I feel like I have a better understanding of who Jon is. What's wrong with Kurt Warner thanking God after winning the Super Bowl? That's who Kurt Warner is. If you want to praise Buddha, then do it. There's such a thing as being too politically correct, where you're constantly worried about offending that you don't say anything but generic answers like "I'm just happy to help the team." That would make for a boring world, and a boring locker room, and boring interviews. That's no good.

 

Alipour: Did you ever experience anything similar to what Kitna went through?

 

Byrd: Boy, I know how he felt. I have a chapter about getting my shot with the Phillies and beating Randy Johnson, and I dropped a Jesus quote in the paper that gets into USA Today. Later, I walk into the locker room and, on my chair, I find a manila folder with names of all of these people who claim to be Christians but have really dropped the ball. The folder was an inside job. No name, nothing. And the note said: "I wanted to let you know that this is the God you serve. This is who he turns out." Basically, it said, "Shut your mouth, you don't know what you're talking about."

 

Alipour: What types of examples did this person cite?

 

Byrd: One of the names was David. I just met you so I don't want presume … I don't know how much you know about David …

 

Alipour: The bullet points. Not a lot.

 

Byrd: David does these great things for God, then he turns around and takes a bunch of wives, sleeps with a soldier's wife and has him killed, and God says this is a man after my own heart. The person who gave me this note was like, "Let me tell you about David …" That chapter is called "Beating Randy Johnson and the Trouble with David."

 

Alipour: When you were pegged last week as the ALDS Game 4 starter, and not staff ace C.C. Sabathia, many questioned the decision. Then you came in, pitched remarkably well in perhaps the biggest game of your career, and proved the critics wrong. It wasn't quite a miracle, but it was a great achievement. Do you feel your performance in that game -- and generally speaking -- was God's work?

 

Byrd: Here's the thing, I think it's a We. We're both involved in this thing. I didn't create me, so I think for me to say I can do something apart from him is pretty arrogant in my mind. But then, for me to say, "Well, it's not me, it's all God. If I don't work hard, God will make sure all my pitches go where they're supposed to go," I don't feel like that's correct either. At times, I do feel his blessing, that he can heal you and allow you to pitch through tremendous pain. I also think there are times when he says, "I'm going to allow this setback, or this surgery." I do feel like it's a beautiful thing to have to struggle, to work through things.

 

I've been on a team where a guy shows no passion, and he says, "God meant for me to give up that home run." I'm like, "What does that mean? God didn't hang the slider, you hung the slider." That's not going to go over well with teammates. You're not going to turn anybody over to Christ with that attitude. I think if Christ goes into second base to break up a double play, he'll do it cleanly, but he'll try to knock the guy into left field. Look, I don't bring a lot to the table. I throw 82, had different shoulder surgeries. But I compete with what God gave me. I get angry when I give up a home run. I'm passionate about the game and I'm not into using God as a scapegoat. People hide behind religion.

 

Alipour: Do you feel religion is a unifying force in the locker room, or more of a divisive force?

 

Byrd: It can unify a team if you learn how to respect each other. That's one of the good things that religion and Christianity brings out. Everybody isn't going to have the same beliefs, but the good teams learn to work together and respect each other's differences and backgrounds, to care about each other, care about your brother.

 

But it can be divisive, too. If you have a problem, the way you bring it up is huge. If you can say something to a teammate in a way that he knows you care about him, like, "Hey man, I don't mind if you have pornography in here, just don't make me look at it. Don't have the centerfold open on the ground. Are you OK with that?" I can say that in a nice way. Or I can be like, "Hey, I'm going to post scripture up and see how you like it!" Man, I wish we had some good books in the stalls. Not just Penthouse.

 

Alipour: Have you ever witnessed or experienced a clubhouse incident along those lines?

 

Byrd: One of the biggest ways that it can divide a clubhouse is with music. When I was playing for the Braves, no music was allowed in the locker room. You had to have headphones. It was obvious that can be an issue. But I remember one time (with another team), someone was playing hard-core rap, something offensive with curse words, and a Christian was offended by that. He walked up, tore the cord out of the wall, called the music trash, and it turned into a fistfight. That divides teams. The way he explains himself is important. That's one of the problems I have right now with our country. An example is, we make fun of our president. There's a way to disagree with somebody. Go out and vote and have your say, or write a column. But we make fun of everybody.

 

Alipour: When Shawn Green sat out a game during the '01 playoff race because it fell on Yom Kippur, the reaction from pundits and players was mixed. On which side of the line did you fall?

 

Byrd: Everybody will feel differently on that. I played with a guy in Double-A when I was with the Indians in '94, Ramser Correa. He was a Seventh-day Adventist. They believe in keeping the Sabbath holy. Meaning, from sundown on Friday until sundown on Saturday, you don't work. He was a starting pitcher and very good, but it was Saturday, and he couldn't pitch. He was like, "Paul, this is what I believe." Now, I didn't agree with him, but I respected where he was coming from. He was a Christian, loved God, but he just wasn't going to pitch, man. Didn't matter what you said. He'd rather pack up his things. And he told me how that hurt him with different managers. It was perceived as, "You feel there's something more important than baseball." He confided in me that that hurt him, and he was willing to accept any persecution that came with it. He wasn't punished, but the reliever had to start the game, and you heard grumbling in the dugout. That affected the team. The reliever must've been like, "What's the deal?" I remember worrying about that. Like, "Man, I hope the starter does well for Ramser's sake. If he doesn't, he could transfer the blame."

 

Alipour: There are many ways that guys bring their faith onto the field. Do you have any religious pregame or in-game rituals?

 

Byrd: I used to memorize a bible verse and say it over and over again. But I felt like I was using God. Like it wasn't right. This is something I talk to the guys about: Do you see when guys point to the sky when they hit a home run? It's funny, I never see anyone point up when they strike out. I'm not a sky-pointer. I'm more of a chest-grabber. I feel God inside of me. People seem to give praise a lot more when they hit a home run and not strike out. I give praise regardless of the outcome. But I feel like he's right there with me. I talk to him during the game. A lot of times, guys are like, "You're 36. Why are you talking to yourself?" I'm not talking to myself, I'm praying. But I'm not praying for a strikeout.

 

Alipour: Do you plan to up the chatter with God when you're on the mound facing the potent Red Sox lineup? Maybe try to get a tip on how to pitch to Ortiz?

 

Byrd: (Laughs) Our talks don't increase or decrease based on the competition. Now, if he wants to give me a tip on Ortiz, I'd certainly welcome that. And since he's listening to us right now, "God, if you've got something, fire away."

[Dick Allen]

Its now being reported Paul Byrd bought $25,000 worth of HGH from 2002-2005. I sure hope God didn't tell him to cheat.

Edited October 21, 2007 by Dick Allen

[Gregory Pratt]

See, this is the f***ed up part about steroids in baseball. I mean, clearly there are some guys who use it and as a result go from hitting forty homeruns to seventy+ -- but how do you judge a guy who uses to recover from an injury? Or who uses and goes from throwing a 75 mph fastball to throwing 82?

 

This news disappoints me. Not really a surprise, but it's definitely disappointing.

[The Critic]

Byrd: Oh dear sweet merciful Lord, I have seen many players in baseball using performance enhancing drugs. I need your omnipotent, infallible, all-knowing advice on how I should try to warn these straying members of your flock of the health dangers, legal ramifications and moral failings of their cheating ways. What, oh all-powerful and loving God, should I tell them?

 

God: Dude......really......nobody likes a snitch, know what I'm sayin'?

If ya can't beat 'em, JOIN 'EM......uhhhh, verily or whatever......

 

Byrd: OH.

......well, cool then.

 

God: I know a guy if ya want.

 

Byrd: Of course you do. You're all knowing.

 

God: You know it!

[Kyyle23]

Didnt he have tommy john surgery in that timeframe?

 

I wonder if he was trying to hurry his comeback

[Dick Allen]

See, this is the f***ed up part about steroids in baseball. I mean, clearly there are some guys who use it and as a result go from hitting forty homeruns to seventy+ -- but how do you judge a guy who uses to recover from an injury? Or who uses and goes from throwing a 75 mph fastball to throwing 82?

 

This news disappoints me. Not really a surprise, but it's definitely disappointing.

I think it means all bets are off as far as speculating who cheats or has cheated and who has played by the rules. If Paul Byrd cheats, it makes everyone a suspect. This news is really a shame. I think there are a ton of pitchers who have used perfomance enhancers. I'm starting to really believe if everyone who has cheated where to be suspended, we would be looking at replacement players level baseball.

[Gregory Pratt]

Didnt he have tommy john surgery in that timeframe?

 

I wonder if he was trying to hurry his comeback

 

Yes, that IS it, I think.

[Gregory Pratt]

I think it means all bets are off as far as speculating who cheats or has cheated and who has played by the rules. If Paul Byrd cheats, it makes everyone a suspect. This news is really a shame. I think there are a ton of pitchers who have used perfomance enhancers. I'm starting to really believe if everyone who has cheated where to be suspended, we would be looking at replacement players level baseball.

 

All bets have long been off. Almost all of them have, or are, using something.

[jackie hayes]

Claims it was all legitimate and open and prescribed, due to a hormone deficiency.

[Gregory Pratt]

Claims it was all legitimate and open and prescribed, due to a hormone deficiency.

 

I just saw that and was about to post it.

 

Here's Rosenthal's article:

 

Byrd says doctor prescribed HGH

Ken Rosenthal

FOXSports.com

 

Yes, Indians right-hander Paul Byrd admits to taking human-growth hormone. In his upcoming book, "The Free Byrd Project," he even writes about resisting the temptation to use an increased dosage with the hope of throwing harder.

 

Byrd says he never hid his use of HGH because it was prescribed to him under a doctor's care. He paid for the substance with his own credit card. At one point, he had it sent in his name to the Braves' spring-training facility in Kissimmee, Fla.

 

Byrd says he no longer takes HGH and has not taken it this season.

 

But now, as Byrd prepares to possibly pitch in relief for the Indians Sunday night in Game 7 of the American League Championship Series, his past use of HGH is an issue.

 

In an exclusive interview with FOXSports.com, Byrd did not dispute a San Francisco Chronicle report stating that he received nearly $25,000 worth of HGH and syringes from a Florida anti-aging clinic that was targeted by law enforcement for illegally distributing performance-enhancing drugs.

 

Byrd said that three different doctors diagnosed him as suffering from adult growth-hormone deficiency. In spring training, he said, he was diagnosed with a tumor on his pituitary gland at the base of his brain, a condition that may have contributed to his deficiency, doctors told him.

 

"I have not taken any hormone apart from a doctor's care and supervision," Byrd said. "The Indians, my coaches and MLB have known that I have had a pituitary gland issue for some time and have assisted me in getting blood tests in different states. I am currently working with an endocrinologist and will have another MRI on my head after the season to make sure that the tumor hasn't grown."

 

In his book, Byrd says, he "shares some of the temptations I have had in MLB to cheat by scuffing baseballs and taking more than the prescribed dose of a particular hormone to increase the speed of my fastball. In the end, as scouts can testify, I did neither."

 

The Chronicle report says that Byrd received HGH from the Palm Beach Rejuvenation Center from Aug. 2002 to Jan. 2005, a period of time during which he played for the Royals and Braves. He underwent elbow-ligament transplant surgery on July 1, 2003, missed the entire '03 season and did not pitch again until June 19, 2004.

 

Major League Baseball formally banned HGH on Jan. 13, 2005, but does not test for the substance. The Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of HGH only for specific conditions and diseases, according to the Journal of the American Medical Association. The list includes adult growth-hormone deficiency — the condition that former major leaguer David Segui cited in explaining his use of HGH — but not standard baseball injuries.

 

"We are aware of the story regarding Paul," Indians general manager Mark Shapiro said in a statement. "I have spoken with Paul about the situation, however, at this time I don't feel I have enough information to make any further comments on the matter. He has been an important member of this organization — on and off the field — over the last two years and we support him in this process."

 

Byrd, a devout Christian, says he has had difficulty sleeping his entire life, and that his mother briefly put him on Ritalin when he was a young boy. In his book, he describes the effects of his sleeplessness and how it ultimately led him to a physician that prescribed HGH.

 

"Even though there were good things like my time with God that came out of my aloneness in the night, the sporadic periods of fatigue and lack of sleep have really bothered me on the baseball field," Byrd writes. "Chronic sore throats, an inability to recover and throw bullpens and times of tiredness have all affected while standing on the mound.

 

"At the insistence of a close friend, I went and had my hormones checked . . . To my surprise, the doctor told me that I was producing very little growth hormone and prescribed a dosage to help me out. I didn't like sticking a needle in my inner thigh each night but I sure did enjoy the sleep that occurred afterwards. My life changed during that time and I was able to work out more, experience less fatigue and recover quicker from pitching.

 

"Like the other temptations that I've mentioned in this book, I had a new one to deal with one night when I stuck that needle in the hormone-filled bottle. I wondered if I doubled my prescribed dose, whether or not I would throw harder and have a better and possibly longer career. After all, I had a prescription.

 

"Some strange silent voices ran across my brain and had conversations with me as I pulled back the syringe. I remember having thoughts that doing better on the field could mean more money for my family, my charities and even supporting churches. Then I prayed and realized that God was in control of my life and he wouldn't want me making money through cheating the system."

[Dick Allen]

I just saw that and was about to post it.

 

Here's Rosenthal's article:

 

While Byrd may have had a legit reason to take HGH, wouldn't it have been a better idea for him to come out about it a year or so ago instead of the distraction it now causes?

 

[Gregory Pratt]

Maybe. Maybe not.

[joejoesox]

story is legit from my own experience, my father had the same pituitary adenoma that byrd had and my father was prescribed a topical steroid (not HGH in his case but the same result) prior to his surgery and for a few months afterwards

 

if byrd is crucified for this, i can only feel pity for all those uneducated individuals who don't know anything about the situation

[WhiteSoxfan1986]

Sure is bad timing for the Indians

[knightni]

Baseball really ages you.

 

[LosMediasBlancas]

Interesting. Every time I look at Byrd he looks like he's just come off the best night of his life.... and I don't mean a really spirited bible study.

[Gregory Pratt]

As pointed out on Baseball-Fever: George Mitchell is a part-owner of the Red Sox. I don't know if he had anything to do with this leak, but I can't believe that he's running this joke investigation and being a part-owner.

 

And it explains something else, too, but I won't get into that.

[BurlyMan56]

Paul Byrd looks like the Undertaker

[witesoxfan]

Paul Byrd looks like the Undertaker

 

Except at 1/4 the size.

[Gregory Pratt]

KELSEY GRAMMAR

[longshot7]

Paul Byrd looks like the Undertaker

 

I always thought he looked like Chris Benoit.

 

but what a great interview. I'm no fan of religion, but it's interesting the way he talks about it being a part of his life and not wearing it on his sleeve like some do - especially the home run point that a lot do. interesting......

[YASNY]

I've waited to comment on the HGH issue till I gave it some thought. Byrd ordered $25K worth of the stuff. Something stinks about this.

[Balta1701]

I've waited to comment on the HGH issue till I gave it some thought. Byrd ordered $25K worth of the stuff. Something stinks about this.

Even with good insurance that's what prescriptions cost in this country!

[YASNY]

Even with good insurance that's what prescriptions cost in this country!

 

Oh hell. MLBPA's medical insurance sucks.

[jackie hayes]

I've waited to comment on the HGH issue till I gave it some thought. Byrd ordered $25K worth of the stuff. Something stinks about this.

Agreed, it is suspicious. Two of the prescriptions were written by a dentist, there aren't (reportedly) records of any tests for the hormone deficiency, and, although Byrd claimed that he was open about it, MLB and the Indians have said they didn't know. Link to a followup SF Chron story.

 

Did Byrd have a history of muscle injuries?

 

Past HGH use is tough to go after, though -- baseball didn't ban it until a week after his last purchase, iirc.