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2007 SOXTALK AWARDS


knightni

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QUOTE(shipps @ Feb 12, 2008 -> 08:28 AM)
The only thing missing is the acceptance speeches.

OKAY!

 

"I'd like to start by thanking the academy..............and by "the academy" I mean Jason............without him, there is no Soxtalk, and without Soxtalk I could not be voted the funniest motherf***er on Soxtalk. So thank you Jason for the time and money you waste on this hobby.

Also, I'd like to thank the 18 people who voted for me. I consider this 0.0048% of the total Soxtalk population to be a MANDATE, and I will proceed as such.

I have, in fact, noticed that the 18 votes I received is my lowest vote total ever. I blame this NOT on my being any less funny than in previous years. NO, instead I blame YOU, the other approximately 3,678 Soxtalkers who did NOT vote for me. I do not control my vote total, YOU do, and this failure to vote for me, to hitch your wagon to a WINNER, is your cross to bear and not mine. I cannot undo your apathy, or in some cases your completely illogical decision to vote for someone else. Look in the mirror, my friends.....take a good long look in the mirror.

[music begins to play]

It would be in good taste to turn off that music.

[music gets louder]

I SAID, IT WOULD BE IN GOOD.....OH f*** IT!!

In closing, I pledge to be funny when it suits me, and to avoid being funny at all other times. When I attempt to be funny, and you fail to find me funny, please again take this as more of a barometer of your sense of humor and not mine, as I am the funniest person on this board, so where do you get off judging me?

That last part was again directed at the 3,678 others, and NOT the 18 wise voters who followed their hearts and their funny bones.

To my loyal 18 voters I say THANK YOU and I will do you proud in 2008!!!

I OWN THIS b****!!!!

[throws down microphone, at which point security drags me offstage and pummels me]

Edited by The Critic
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QUOTE(The Critic @ Feb 12, 2008 -> 11:25 AM)
OKAY!

 

"I'd like to start by thanking the academy..............and by "the academy" I mean Jason............without him, there is no Soxtalk, and without Soxtalk I could not be voted the funniest motherf***er on Soxtalk. So thank you Jason for the time and money you waste on this hobby.

Also, I'd like to thank the 18 people who voted for me. I consider this 0.0048% of the total Soxtalk population to be a MANDATE, and I will proceed as such.

I have, in fact, noticed that the 18 votes I received is my lowest vote total ever. I blame this NOT on my being any less funny than in previous years. NO, instead I blame YOU, the other approximately 3,678 Soxtalkers who did NOT vote for me. I do not control my vote total, YOU do, and this failure to vote for me, to hitch your wagon to a WINNER, is your cross to bear and not mine. I cannot undo your apathy, or in some cases your completely illiogical decision to vote for someone else. Look in the mirror, my friends.....take a good long look in the mirror.

[music begins to play]

It would be in good taste to turn off that music.

[music gets louder]

I SAID, IT WOULD BE IN GOOD.....OH f*** IT!!

In closing, I pledge to be funny when it suits me, and to avoid being funny at all other times. When I attempt to be funny, and you fail to find me funny, please again take this as more of a barometer of your sense of humor and not mine, as I am the funniest person on this board, so where do you get off judging me?

That last part was again directed at the 3,678 others, and NOT the 18 wise voters who followed their hearts and their funny bones.

To my loyal 18 voters I say THANK YOU and I will do you proud in 2008!!!

I OWN THIS b****!!!!

[throws down microphone, at which point security drags me offstage and pummels me]

Further proof :notworthy

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I'd really just like to thank my two hands, for they are the reasons I could do this at all. Secondly, I'd like to thank Anheuser-Busch for making a cheap beer with no flavor that I got drunk off of probably 30 times within the past year, and to a lesser extent, the Coors family for making Keystone Light (though less-so, because Keystone gives me the runs). I'd like to thank the Lord, because without Him, we wouldn't be able to talk about why Josh Fields almost retired. I'd also like to thank Roger Clemens, because I've thrown more insults at him than he's thrown clean pitches this decade. Curt Schilling is up there too just because he likes to hear himself talk and I like to make fun of him for that. I'd like to thank Barry Bonds for being the GOAT, and for looking good in a White Sox uniform, even though he'll never wear it (which does make me a sad panda). I'd like to thank qwerty just because he told me to mention him in here. I'd like to thank Steve for the 2 very good sigs he made me over the past 4-5 months, including the nipples sig which still remains immortal on here. I'd thank Darin Erstad, but that might puncture his tympanic membrane, and I'm sure Ed Wade really doesn't want me to do that. I'd also like to thank Willie, otherwise known as WHarris on here for eating a lot of food, because we all know that if Willie didn't eat food, well then he'd probably be dead. Kalapse, TRU, and Heads are on this list as well, but they are mainly on here for being so damn good looking. I'd like to thank myself for not going to the library half the time I was on here, because I really probably should have been there, but instead I'm here and I'm doing my best to do my best. Oh yes, and benchwarmerjim, because he has proven to us just how cool atleast one Twins fan really is.

 

And then I'd really like to thank Jason for creating such a crazy good site just over 5 years ago; it is good. And most of all, I'd like to thank you Soxtalk - this is not actually your award, but you can sure as hell pretend like it is if you really want to, though I will probably look down upon such a choice by you!!!!!! THANK YOU!

 

georgeclooneyoscarawardspeech.jpg

(except its two Soxtalk awards, not an Oscar...and I don't really look anything like Clooney, but if you think that's hot, then maybe I do actually look like Clooney)

 

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QUOTE(Texsox @ Feb 12, 2008 -> 07:48 AM)
Great job :headbang

 

Thought for next year, the top graphics winner should design the trophies.

 

 

QUOTE(kapkomet @ Feb 12, 2008 -> 09:24 AM)
:lol: I bet soxfan1 likes the thought of that.

Oh boy... :D

 

BTW, thanks to all those who voted for me. I appreciate it.

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QUOTE(shipps @ Feb 12, 2008 -> 06:19 PM)
My goal is to try my hardest this year to think up an award that I could definetly win in 08.But I got nothin so far.Nothin!

 

 

Most likely to have Leo Dicaprio mount his aft?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:P

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