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The Official Soxtalk True Drunk Stories Thread


hi8is

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QUOTE(ROC Sox Fan @ Jan 16, 2008 -> 08:25 PM)
I woke up in a girl's bed last semester and she told me I got up and peed on her chair in the middle of the night. Apparently that wasn't any reason not to let me back in her bed though. Don't get black out drunk.

 

Happens to the best of us bro. I once blacked out (was high as well) peed on myself and some random chick who was passed out earlier, a "friend" of mine peed in a 40 and I basically drank it, threw up in my friend's car, got into a fight (I forgot why) made out with a chick (...giggady and discusting for her hehe) passed out, woke up in her bed (I thought I did the deed) and I saw another girl by my leg (thought it was a hellova night) then looked again n it wasn't a girl. It was some rocker dude with long hair who my friends tease me and said he played with my pee-pee. I proceded to throw-up one last time. (Two other people got arrested that night but thats another story.) Best and worst night/party of my life. (it's been... 4 years now, I was 17) I got a couple of other crazy ones though. :D

 

QUOTE(hi8is @ Jan 16, 2008 -> 11:24 AM)
welcome back to soxtalk posting fun with hi8is

 

lol

 

When the hell are we gonna drink man? I gotta buy you a drink sometime, then we breed with Katy... fo eva. :headbang

Edited by SoxAce
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Two from when I was in college. One, I woke up in my apartment with a girl that I had absolutely no idea was and she was still sleeping and I pissed all over myself. I rolled off my bed and was prepared to pretend it was an accident if she woke up, she didnt. I quickly changed my pants and saw half a 40 of Silver Thunder malt liquor on my window sill and I will never forget the sticker on it that said "Only 89 cents!" I continued to open it and poor it in the vicinity of the random girl without waking her up. i even managed to get some on her pants. I was still unsure of my chances of pulling this off and only saw one option.

 

"Wake up, you pissed all over my bed...What the f*** is wrong with you, thats disgusting." She sat there confused for a minute and looked around and apologized. She got up and walked out of my apartment only to return about a minute later and asking for a ride back to the dorms. Lucky for her my roommate took her because I didnt want that degenerate in my car. This poor girls nickname was aqua girl for the rest of the year and I think she eventually left school, however not for that.

 

Two, when I lived in the dorms we had about 6 rooms and we all shared a bathroom on our floor. There was a kid across the hall from us that we didnt really like so one day after the bars we saw that someone puked in one of the two huge garbage cans in the bathroom. We then decided to fill both garbage cans with any liquid we could find, piss, beer, water, condiments etc. We had both of these things filled about 3/4 and propped them up against the kid we didnt likes door. We then went to the call box in front of our building and called his room and said his car was being towed. When he opened his door to run out, both garbage cans fell over in his room and flooded his floor. When I say flooded, I mean there was s*** everywhere. This guys room smelled so bad from then on out he had to switch rooms.

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Northern Illinois visit with friends.

 

Me and my brother went up to visit a friend who was staying at one of the stevenson halls. So after a night of libations and getting thrown out of a party, we crash back where my buddy tells us of lies of women he knows and how he is going to get them over at the dorm, the usual freshman fantasies of being more connected than you actually are. We proceed to put down a lot more libations and now we are good and drunk. My friend gets up and says he has to take a leak. He walks out the dorm door. A few minutes later we hear a loud scream. We run or stagger out of the room to locate where our favorite drunk went. We see a group of people laughing outside a door a few doors down. My buddy is on the floor very groggy. He of course has his pants around his ankles, and his personal best friend out, and he is laying in a pool of urine. The horrified people that were in that dorm room told us of the story the next day. He had wandered into that room, thought it was a bathroom, and proceed to try and pee in a small garbage can. Well his aim was off, and he hit an electrical outlet. Gave himself a jolt, fell back and continued to pee. He knocked himself out. He also cock blocked the guy who lived in that room, because he was in the middle of getting some when my drunken friend decided to visit their room.

 

Moral of the story lock your door when getting busy.

 

 

 

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QUOTE(Brian @ Jan 16, 2008 -> 11:02 PM)
How disgusting are we looking to get here? I got one, but not sure if I should.

4 words...

 

1. Me

2. Girl

3. Bloody

4. Sheets

 

That's all.

 

You can post it in a SPOILER tag if you like.

 

just use the brackets [ ] and spoiler inside on the front, then /spoiler in brackets on the back with a "warning, graphic!" in the non spoilered area.

 

Like this:

s***, piss, f***, asshole, cumguzzler

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QUOTE(knightni @ Jan 16, 2008 -> 10:07 PM)
You can post it in a SPOILER tag if you like.

 

just use the brackets [ ] and spoiler inside on the front, then /spoiler in brackets on the back with a "warning, graphic!" in the non spoilered area.

 

Like this:

s***, piss, f***, asshole, cumguzzler

 

I know, but everyone can guess what happened with those 4 words. Guess it was her first time.

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QUOTE(knightni @ Jan 16, 2008 -> 10:12 PM)

 

Guess so. Here are morning details....

 

Woke up. Can't use the "I didn't remember excuse". I remembered. Felt liquid on my legs, thought maybe it was urine and was like, "Damn". Then got up with the girl still laying there. This was in a dorm room on the small single beds. No clue how I got up and didn't wake her. Looked at my leg and it was red. Not like a small amount of blood, a good amount. Thought maybe I cut myself or something. I had dark sheets at the time so it just looked like my sheets were wet, but they weren't. I woke her up. She was very embarrassed and I felt bad for her. Didn't want to burn a bridge with one of the few women in Carbondale that would actually spend the night with me.

:D She must of knew she was bleeding and didn't get up to the bathroom to clean up but used my sheets to wipe down without knowing it. It was enough to think she was hemorrhaging or something. Threw the sheets out and bought new ones at Famous Barr at University Mall.

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QUOTE(hi8is @ Jan 15, 2008 -> 05:34 PM)
so one time, i pissed my pants and puked in them all in one night

 

pat on the back in order.

I have done so in a similar fashion lol.

 

At some point in a drunken night at Purdue I pissed myself, puked in my friend's roommates closet (his roommate was gay so that was weird) and managed to pass out into the closet I puked in breaking the closet door hinges and woke up there that morning.

 

Not to mention my friend used the garbage can as a toilet multiple times that night for #1 haha and tipped it sometime that night spilling into the hall and our dorm floor reeked of urine/alcohol and other stuff for about 4 straight days.

 

Needless to say this resulted in a probation.

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QUOTE(Brian @ Jan 16, 2008 -> 10:20 PM)
Guess so. Here are morning details....

 

Woke up. Can't use the "I didn't remember excuse". I remembered. Felt liquid on my legs, thought maybe it was urine and was like, "Damn". Then got up with the girl still laying there. This was in a dorm room on the small single beds. No clue how I got up and didn't wake her. Looked at my leg and it was red. Not like a small amount of blood, a good amount. Thought maybe I cut myself or something. I had dark sheets at the time so it just looked like my sheets were wet, but they weren't. I woke her up. She was very embarrassed and I felt bad for her. Didn't want to burn a bridge with one of the few women in Carbondale that would actually spend the night with me.

:D She must of knew she was bleeding and didn't get up to the bathroom to clean up but used my sheets to wipe down without knowing it. It was enough to think she was hemorrhaging or something. Threw the sheets out and bought new ones at Famous Barr at University Mall.

Reminds me of this...

 

Vid prolly not work safe..

 

Superbad Period Scene

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QUOTE(witesoxfan @ Jan 15, 2008 -> 04:51 PM)
aww, I have been one-upped.

 

I have both puked on my pants and pissed myself, but they were not in the same night. That woulda been sweet.

How about when your sister's boyfriend was over...? You know... when you were playing darts with the family...

 

Get on aim whenever you see this btw...

Edited by qwerty
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To continue my story from before, I was at a barn party during freshman year in Carbondale, and it was insane. Naked people swinging from the rafters, drunks jumping over(and into) the bonfire, and then there was me. Pretty much a novice at drinking, I thought I would try everything that was passed my way. A guy who later became a good friend and neighbor(but we didnt know each other at the time) told me that during that night i was seen with a half bottle of tequila in my hand, a bottle of Southern Comfort, Jack Daniels, and 3 different kinds of schnapps, plus the beer that was in 5 different kegs scattered around the party.

 

I just remember thinking to myself "I need to sit down on this couch right here", so I did. And I passed out. And I began vomiting all over myself in my passed out state until a high school buddy of mine saw me and got 3 friends of his to take me to the hospital.

 

It is safe to say that I have never been as hungover as i was the day after that party. I sat in the shower for at least an hour dry heaving, couldnt even get up to go to Grinnell Cafeteria for something, and slept all day and half of the following day.

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