Dumbest thing you have done while drunk

[Jimbo's Drinker]

Lets hear those awesome college stories.

 

[WilliamTell]

haha, this will get topped pretty quickly and I might remember more as I hear stories but last year I smashed about 40 cans in a row with my fists, needless to say I had a few cuts, nothing severe though thankfully, haha.

[witesoxfan]

Got belligerently drunk. Was at a house I've never been to before nor after, and I didn't know anyone there (but didn't care). Ended up going to some other house, and I don't remember anybody I talked to, I just remember that I was stupid and annoying as hell. I kept asking people if they had weed, and finally one dude did. He rolled a fat joint, I shared it with 3 other people, including some German dude, and the Audioslave song "Original Fire" was on - I still can't stand the song to this day, but that's more because it's a terrible song and less because of this incident. Anyways, to cut the story short, I smoked the joint, remember everything slowing down, and beyond that, I don't remember much. I remember puking on my lap, and then being outside. I think people tried to walk me home but I started puking outside too. I'm pretty sure I hit my head on the brick on the side of the house. I fell to the ground and hit my head there too. I was puking pretty heavily in the toilet, some Samoan (or Pacific descent anyways) dude was telling me I needed to go to the emergency room and I told him it was just because I smoked weed. He kept making me drink water, and that just kept making me puke. After I think like an hour or so of that, I passed out by the toilet and they put me on a couch. I woke up at 2 the next day, walked home from the house (and I still don't know where it was), and cleaned up.

 

It might not win, but that's definitely the dumbest thing I ever want to do.

[SleepyWhiteSox]

Long story short...14 stitches above my left eyebrow, horizontally...

[iamshack]

Oh man, I could write a novel...and the unfortunate thing is, it didn't stop in college...

 

Ok, so I'll tell you guys a good story from about 14 months ago when we went to Florida for the Super Bowl.

 

So we flew into Tampa on Friday, because it was cheaper than flying into Miami. We decided to spend an evening in Ybor City, as I had been there several years previously and had a great time. So we check into our hotel, then hit Ybor City in search of a comfortable, yet fun bar.

 

We eventually settled on this place with a pirate theme- Gaspar's Grotto or something like that. And we're in there for an hour or so, and it's a decent time, but nothing too crazy. I'm a vodka drinker, so I'm drinking Red Bull/Goose and just sort of chilling. Then a new bartender comes on...

 

This girl is tall and thin, but with curves in all the right places. Beautiful, really. After a few minutes on shift, she strolls over to my friend, his dad, and myself, and chats with us for a few minutes (we are sitting at the bar). After serving us a few more drinks, and after some idle chatter, she introduces herself as Amy, formerly a waitress at a Coyote Ugly nearby. And that should have been the tip off...

 

So anyways, after a few more drinks, I'm getting a little buzz, and Amy starts flirting with me a bit. She starts asking me if I'd like to do a shot with her, to which I politely decline, as the night is still young and we have more friends coming in at midnight or so (it's only about 8 at this time). After some prodding, and her chiding my ability to hold my liquor, I relent, and we have a shot of some blue-looking concoction she has put together in a martini shaker...

 

After another drink, she asks me if I'd like to do another shot with her, to which I reply some lame old line such as "What, are you trying to take advantage of me or something?" She says something flirty back, with a sexy grin, sort of batting her eyelashes at me. Then she lays down the challenge: "I'll bet I can drink more shots than you can without throwing up...."

 

Fairly buzzed by now, and never one to have my masculinity, nor my ability to hold my liquor challenged, I sort of scoff at her, shaking my head, laughing her off. She pushes me further with a slight insult, claiming she's outdrank guys double my size in the past. For about the fourth time of the night, but this time with a purpose, I look her up and down, surmising she can't be more than 5'9", 125 pounds. And in my head I'm thinking, there's absolutely no way this tiny little thing can even keep up with me for an hour. But being the gentleman that I attempt to be whenever I still have my wits about me, I again politely decline, as I have no interest in being unable to walk out of this place of my own volition in a few hours.

 

However, she once again continues to pester me about the idea, until finally she introduces the concept of a wager. Her initial offer is $50, if I can drink more shots than her without vomiting. Somewhat aware that I have a huge head start on her (I am probably 7-8 drinks, and 2 shots in already), I tell her if we are going to do this, I am going to make it worth my while. I counter with a $500 wager, to which, wild-eyed, she declines. However, she counters my offer with a $200 wager, to which we ultimately agreed.

 

So I produce my cash, and she produces hers, and the contest begins. The rules are that we both drink the same shots, in the same volumes, and we each pick a shot on alternating shots. And so we began with another shot of that electric blue looking shot she concocted earlier. There is no time limit on how quickly we drink or how slowly, but as soon as the person choosing the shot is ready, the other person must oblige. I choose whiskey, as in my experience, most women my age are not particularly fond of whiskey, or any warm, hard alcohol. She takes it down, with sort of a fake grin on her face, but unable to hide her distaste for the warm alcohol working it's way down her throat and into her stomach.

 

This goes on for several hours, at a rate of probably 6-8 shots an hour, until both of us are just really ripped up. My friends come at 1230, and I am in the midst of singing "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey, at Amy's request, with the karaoke dj. I'm dancing to some beautiful girl's rendition of "Killing Me Softly." I'm telling all my friends that Devin Hester is going to run back the opening kickoff of the Super Bowl in 40 hours or so...

 

Around 1:30, I see Amy is starting to get realllly wobbly. I, myself, am feeling pretty great- almost euphoric even. I can see victory is in my grasp, and it isn't the money I are about, but that this girl thought she would take me down and couldn't.

 

We do another whiskey shot, and at this point, I am alternating between Jameson and Jack, just to try and make her sick even more quickly. And then it is her turn (and by now she has put me through the gamut of awful shots, including all sorts of bombs, flavored vodkas, and even 151). And as she can barely stand anymore, and can barely pour the liquid in the shot glasses, she chooses the "blue" drink again. I laugh aloud at her, as I see she is choosing this just to try and save herself- closing time is coming soon- and she is trying for a push. And I pick up the glass of "blue" crap, swallow it down, and give Amy a smile. She sort of forces hers down her throat, gags a bit, but recovers admirably.

 

And then I feel it. That feeling we all know...the ascension of warm liquid rising from my stomach, working it's way up. The shortness of breath...the warm saliva your mouth produces....

 

I calmly tell everyone I am going to the bathroom (at which point, someone has to come with me, to make sure I don't puke in there). I start briskly walking towards the bathroom, with my friend Brian in-tow. And suddenly, it's just too much to overcome....this huge rush of vomit comes flying up my throat, and as I try to block it with my palm and fingers, it just flies through the gaps in my fingers and out onto the floor.

 

.....

 

And half the bar sees me, and all of my friends see me, and the bartender sort of sees me (she isn't seeing much of anything clearly right now). And there is a fairly decent size puddle of vomit of all sorts of my stomach's contents, probably half of it beginning to eat away at the wood, on the floor. I quickly take a step towards the bathroom....

 

And I SLIP and FALL in my own vomit, right on my ASS, in front of the entire bar, my group of friends, and once again, Amy the bartender.

 

I get up, go into the bathroom, clean myself off, and prepare for my dejected walk out to the bar to concede victory to Amy.

 

And as I walk up to her, and congratulate her on her victory, she laughs at me, and then shockingly, over the bar, motions for me to kiss her. And suddenly I am making out with her, after I just vomited not 5 minutes earlier, while my friends clap and laugh in the background...

 

Sorry for the extreme length of the post guys, but I thought some might enjoy the story...and she did take my $200, btw. Thank goodness she didn't agree to the $500...

Edited March 27, 2008 by iamshack

[witesoxfan]

not worthy :notworthy

[Rowand44]

Long story short...14 stitches above my left eyebrow, horizontally...

I have that beat.

 

For now, I'm just going to say the last 2 months I've been as dumb as anyone could possibly be. Too many stories to tell.

[DBAHO]

Nothing crazy here like some above.

 

One time, when I was really tipsy, for some reason I had sudden urge to my shoelaces up, on a concrete path. TIMBER. Nice gash on the side of my head there. Seriously next time you are drunk, try doing up your shoe-laces.

 

Another time after work, I had a bad lunch on some sort of Japanese food, so I was already a little queasy. And then I had these 3 very large stein's of some sort of German Beer. I got to the state, where they wouldn't serve me after that, so I walked to the tram station, or stumbled. Got in the tram, 15 mins later, the tram went over this bump, I'm at the back of the tram, and boom here comes the vomit, all over my suit, tie and backpack. I jumped off at the next stop, and chucked again.

 

Finally got home, and then the next morning I had to clean the puke off all of my stuff. The backpack was ruined, and I took the suit to the dry cleaners, and I've never felt so guilty before.

[Kyyle23]

Hmmmm, I worked at a radio station in southern illinois(Rowand44 probably listens to it), and my friend had a show on Valentines Day, but we were single at the time. So my friend told me to grab two cases of beer and come in with my other roommate. We got wasted and told stories about ex's. My ex girlfriend and I had just broken up and I was still a mess, so i got hammered and started telling stories, pretty explicit stories, about us. Everyone who knows us knew exactly who I was talking about, and she called my boss and tried to get me fired, and it almost worked.

 

 

I am usually pretty good about not getting into too much trouble when i am drunk. Although, the summer I turned 21, me and my roommate turned into bar kleptomaniacs. If it wasnt nailed to the wall, we would figure out a way to get it home. We took bar steins, concert posters, those big plastic posters for drink specials, drink strainers, everything. We never got caught, but one day we just stopped

Edited March 27, 2008 by kyyle23

[The Critic]

Not too stupid, but stupid enough:

 

A few buddies and I are drinking in the park after a softball game. I'm a few beers in (I'm not ashamed to admit that I am not much of a drinker - I'm actually glad, since I am also incredibly cheap, so getting drunk sooner is okay by me), and we see a rabbit near the fence. I decide that I am a very fast runner and I can catch that goddamned rabbit. So I take off, bottle still in hand, after the rabbit. Of course, as I got somewhat near, the rabbit makes a sharp left turn. I try to also make a sharp left turn, but end up making a thud and several rolls through the gravel near the fence. I get up and announce "I didn't spill a f***ing DROP!!!" when the guys point out to me that my entire right arm is coated in blood. No severe cuts, but that gravel gave me about 200 tiny cuts, all of which bled like a b****.

Lesson learned - I MAY have been as fast as a rabbit, but they make better turns.

[ChiSox_Sonix]

So during my senior year in college a couple years back i lived on the street where the main strip of bars were located (so convenient). After a night of long drinking a bunch of guys in my fraternity came back to our place for after hours. Several girls we knew in one of the sororities decided to come back with us. Also, this was during the couple month period a few of us got into doing something when we drank so we all had a lot of energy i guess you can say. (that in and of itself should be considered stupid). But anyways, we lived on the 3rd floor, which was the top of the building and just the other day a maintenance guy had come around cuz he had to get to the roof. Apparently, we had the only access. So, i bring it up to my friends that if we removed some ceiling tiles we can get to our roof. My roomate said we were retarded if we did that but the girls were egging us on and well i guess you can say we were trying to "impress" them. So we climb to the top of the roof, 4 of us, and start running around up there when we notice we can see into peoples apartments through the skylights. So a couple of my friends decided to be creepy while myself and the other guy went to the edge of the roof next to another building. This building had one of those clocks on it and we decided to change the time on it. Anyways, when coming back down one of the guys stepped on a piece of ceiling he shouldnt have and his foot went through. So in a rush to get down i went to fast and myself slipped and sliced my hand pretty good on a piece of metal on the way down. I needed stitches and there went the rest of my fall intramural basketball season. It also wasnt fun having to pay someone to fix that ceiling.

[Felix]

Well, I haven't had many bad resulting ones, but the worst would be dropping my phone off of my 4th floor balcony onto concrete. It was the result of a lot of vodka, and I didn't remember it the next day. I woke up in the morning with no idea where my phone was, and looked literally everywhere for it. Luckily, the battery only popped out, and the apartment complex found it and (somehow) found that it was mine and called my roommates to tell me. It still works, and I'm still using it to this day.

Edited March 27, 2008 by Felix

[shipps]

I ran from the police through Lincoln park.

[southsider2k5]

I don't know whether that would be peeing into a laundry basket, or getting thrown out of a bar in Key West...

[The Critic]

I don't know whether that would be peeing into a laundry basket, or getting thrown out of a bar in Key West...

Lots of people get thrown out of bars, but pissing in a laundry basket is special!

 

Not a stupid thing, necessarily, but I did vomit in every room of the house, upstairs and down, after one nasty encounter with Jack and Jim.

[southsideirish71]

Threw up on a girl while having drunken sex. The best part, is that the vomit didnt stop the action. We woke up the next day with the room smelling like puke. I had the smarts to get up, and get the hell out of there. Never saw her again.

Edited March 27, 2008 by southsideirish71

[juddling]

I was 15 and at a family reunion when I along with Alpha Dog and a bunch of our older cousins spent the night at one cousins house drinking. I don't remember much but i was told that at one point i went outside to pee and was found cursing at and hitting a tree with my fists. I was told the next morning that i was upset because the tree 'bit' me while i was taking a leak.

 

i remember the next day trying to explain to my mom why my knuckles were all scratched and bloody.

 

I do have a great U of I drunken road trip story for another time.

 

[Kyyle23]

I had a buddy wake up one night, open his 3 disc cd player, spit in the carousel, close it, press play, and go back to sleep.

 

He also opened the door to the hall and threw up in the hall as opposed to opening the next door which was the bathroom. That was a special day. Schneider Hall floor 7 smelled so bad.

[Brian]

I have that beat.

 

For now, I'm just going to say the last 21 years I've been as dumb as anyone could possibly be. Too many stories to tell.

 

Fixed.

[Balta1701]

Attempted, and failed, to do a cartwheel.

 

Mind you, I can't do a cartwheel while sober.

[mreye]

* Tried to play Century Club (One shot per minute for 100 minutes) with cheap wine. I made it to about 65 or so. I ended puking in the Master Bathroom double sink. To this day I swear I saw the puke running down the drain, but my buddy, who stayed sober that night to babysit us, said I was puking on the between the two sinks. He tried to move me over and I turned toward him with my best "Exorcist" voice and said, "Don't f**king touch me!"

 

* We used to always do the "Nude Olympics" if we were still drinking at 3:15am. I made the mistake of not hiding my clothes one time. I spent the rest of the night in a towel.

 

* Partying with some buds one night at Wabash College I challenged someone to a mile run. We snuck into the football stadium (Not too dificult at a Div 3 school). I made it about 1/2 mile and hit the ground. I still have the pictures.

 

* Had my second child.

[thedoctor]

i wish this was a college story, unfortunately it is more of a recent vintage.

 

a few years back, i was out at a bar with some friends drinking. i was getting pretty saucy, and at a certain point decided i was done and wanted to go home. so i left the bar and walked about two miles home. when i got there i realized that i'd left my house keys in the car that my friends and i drove to the bar in.

 

so, it's about 1 a.m. and i'm standing outside the front of my house pissed. i lived on the second floor of a duplex, and was trying to figure out how to get up to a second floor window. this house had a porch, and there was a little roof that hung over the porch, and an open window was right about that roof. at this time we had some construction going on and there were huge sheets of plywood in our backyard.

 

my idea was to take one of the pieces of plywood, lay it against the overhang, and run up it like a ramp. so i get everything set up, go back about 15 yards, reach top speed and hit the ramp. needless to say i got halfway up the ramp, it bowed, i lost balance, fell off the side, cracked my head and wrecked my elbow. as i'm laying there bleeding, my buddies pull up.

 

not my finest moment.

[Brian]

Nobody has answered, "Posted on Soxtalk", yet?

[SleepyWhiteSox]

I have that beat.

 

For now, I'm just going to say the last 2 months I've been as dumb as anyone could possibly be. Too many stories to tell.

 

I didn't go to the hospital until about 13 hours later. Thankfully the scar isn't too noticeable.

 

Did you lose an eye or something?

[Rowand44]

I didn't go to the hospital until about 13 hours later. Thankfully the scar isn't too noticeable.

 

Did you lose an eye or something?

15 stitches. 12 directly down my forehead and 3 over my eye. Ironically, I did the same thing as you, I just decided it was better to go to sleep at first than to go to the hospital. Even when I woke up, I didn't go right away, then I looked in the mirror and realized it was time for me to go. A few people on this site have seen the picture of me when it first happened, it was pretty brutal looking.

 

EDIT: Oh and might have the most noticeable scar in the history of scars and it's not going away.

Edited March 27, 2008 by Rowand44