SOXTALK'S TOP 50 FUNNIEST MOVIES

[knightni]

You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.

 

33. (tie) American Pie (1999)

 

 

(4 of 23 lists - 49 points - highest ranking #5 ChiSox_Sonix, ControlledChaos)

 

teen comedy film directed by Paul Weitz and Chris Weitz and written by Adam Herz. This was the first film directed by the Weitz brothers and the first of the American Pie Presents series. The movie is centered on four boys who make a pact to lose their virginity by their high school graduation, and their subsequent adventures. As the theatrical poster implies, the title of the movie refers to a scene in the film in which the lead character is caught having sex with a pie after earlier being told that "third base" feels "like warm apple pie".

 

 

American Pie is the story of four Michigan high school seniors who make a pact to lose their virginity before graduation after a geeky classmate, Chuck Sherman (Chris Owen) claims to have done so at a party at Steve Stifler's (Seann William Scott) house.

 

Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas), the initiator of the pact, tries to repair his relationship with his girlfriend Vicki (Tara Reid) after she has a serious fight with him at the party. Chris "Oz" Ostreicher (Chris Klein), who is on the school lacrosse team with Stifler, joins the jazz choir to pick up girls, as the girls there know little of his insensitive jock reputation. Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), the mochaccino-drinking sophisticate, pays Vicki's friend Jessica (Natasha Lyonne) $200 to spread rumors of his sexual prowess, hoping that will increase his chances of success.

 

Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) pursues Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth), an exchange student from Czechoslovakia. She comes to his house to study with him, and has to change clothes there after ballet practice, so Stifler convinces Jim to set up a webcam so they can all watch her change. Jim runs over to Kevin's house to watch. Once he gets there, Nadia is seen on the computer discovering his pornography collection hiding in his dresser, and instead of finding it offensive, she begins looking through it while masturbating (this scene ranked #10 in the 100 Greatest Sexy Moments). Kevin urges Jim to run back home, saying this is his best opportunity. Jim arrives, and Nadia orders him to strip; meanwhile, it turns out that he had incorrectly addressed the e-mail to Kevin and Stifler, so instead of the link being sent to only his two friends, every mailbox in the school directory received the link; virtually the entire student body is watching. As Jim slowly caresses her leg up to her genitals, he then climaxes prematurely. As Nadia is about to leave, he convinces her to stay, but upon seeing her nude and touching her pubic area, he climaxes prematurely again, humiliating himself before the entire school. In desperation, Jim asks band geek Michelle Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan) to the senior prom, as she is apparently the only girl in the entire school who does not know what happened.

 

Finch, meanwhile, has his own troubles. Stifler, angry that a girl turned him down for the prom because she was holding out for Finch, puts a laxative into Finch's mochaccino. Unable to do his usual routine of heading home to use the toilet (Finch is paranoid about the lack of cleanliness in the school restrooms), Stifler directs him into the girls' restroom, for him to emerge before all of the other students, humiliated and left dateless.

 

At the prom, everything seems hopeless for the four boys until Vicky asks the girl that Sherman claimed to have bedded about her "first time". She gets even by proclaiming to the entire prom that she and Sherman did not have sex at Stifler's party, humiliating him. The revelation takes the pressure off of Jim, Kevin, Oz and Finch, and they head to the post-prom party with new hope.

 

At the party at Stifler's house after the prom, all four boys fulfill the pledge. Kevin and Vicki have sex in an upstairs bedroom, but the act is very awkward. Vicki breaks up with him afterward on the grounds that they will be too far apart in college, with him at Michigan and her at Cornell. Oz confesses the pact to Heather (Mena Suvari), a girl from the glee club, and renounces it, saying that just being together with her made him a winner. They fall in love, begin a relationship, and end up making love on the porch. Having reformed, Oz never admits that they did. Finch strays downstairs to the recreation room where he meets Stifler's mom (Jennifer Coolidge). She is aroused by his maturity, and they have sex on a pool table. Stifler finds them together in the morning and faints. Jim and Michelle have sex after he finds out that she saw the "Nadia incident" after all. She accepted the date because of it, knowing he was a "sure thing", but she makes him wear two condoms to combat his earlier "problem" with Nadia. Jim is, to put it mildly, rather surprised by Michelle's behavior in bed. In the morning he wakes up to find her gone, an inflatable dinosaur in her place. Essentially, she used him (which Jim thinks is "cool"). The morning after prom, Jim, Kevin, Oz, and Finch, eat at their favorite restaurant, Dog Years.

 

. . .

This film ranked number 49 on Bravo's "100 Funniest Movies", and ranked number 22 on Entertainment Weekly's list of the 50 Best High School Movies.

 

In 2000, readers of Total Film magazine voted American Pie the 6th greatest comedy film of all time.

 

It was a box-office hit and spawned two direct sequels: American Pie 2 in 2001, American Wedding in 2003. Singer Don McLean was credited for allowing the name of his hit song to be used as the title.

 

Taglines:

There's something about your first piece.

Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets pie.

Come again!

Fill that sticky hole!

 

Much of the film is based on the writer's days at East Grand Rapids High School in East Grand Rapids, Michigan an upper middle class suburb of Grand Rapids, Michigan.[1][2] In the film, the town is called "East Great Falls" and the high school sports the same school colors - blue and yellow - along with a similar mascot - the Trailblazers instead of the Pioneers. The restaurant hangout Dog Years is based on Yesterdog, a popular hotdog restaurant in the nearby Eastown neighborhood of Grand Rapids.[3] The "Central Chicks" and "Central" Lacrosse team that East Great Falls plays against is an amalgam of nearby Forest Hills Central High School and Grand Rapids Catholic Central High School.[4]

 

The movie was actually filmed in Southern California, most notably in Long Beach using Robert A. Millikan High School (of the Long Beach Unified School District-LBUSD), whose school colors are also Blue/Yellow or Gold (in the same neighborhood where Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Donnie Darko were filmed).

 

In the original version, when Stifler drinks the semen-filled beer, Thomas Ian Nicholas' character says "Hey Stifler, how's the man chowder?" However, the MPAA would not allow this line (not even in an NC-17 rated cut), so the line was changed in postproduction to "Hey Stifler, how's the pale ale?" The "pale ale" Stifler drinks is actually beer with egg whites in it.

 

Also, The MPAA refused to allow Jim to masturbate with the pie by lying on top of it and thrusting into it on the counter. He could do it only standing up. The original scene was put back in for the Unrated version of the DVD.

 

 

[knightni]

Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago.

 

33. (tie) Spaceballs (1987)

 

 

(4 of 23 lists - 49 points - highest ranking #2 ChWRoCk2)

 

Spaceballs is a 1987 science fiction parody film co-written, directed by, and starring Mel Brooks. It was released on June 24, 1987, and earned only modest returns, but it has gone on to become a cult classic on video.

 

Its plot and characters contain numerous parodies of elements from the original Star Wars trilogy and Star Trek in particular, as well as other popular science fiction films. The script was written by Mel Brooks in only six months, and was approved by George Lucas, as he was a big fan of Brooks's previous films.[1]

 

Planet Spaceball, led by President Skroob (Mel Brooks), has wasted all of its air and, desperate to find more, aims at the extortion of all the air from planet Druidia. They plan to kidnap the Druish Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga), who is about to marry the narcoleptic Prince Valium. Resenting this marriage, Vespa runs off from the altar with her Droid of Honor, Dot Matrix (Joan Rivers), and escapes into space, where she is attacked by the Spaceballs under the command of Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis).

 

Vespa's father, King Roland (Dick Van Patten), hires Captain Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) and his mawg Barf (John Candy) who are desperate for money to pay back their debts to the Mafioso Pizza the Hutt (Dom DeLuise), to rescue his daughter. They manage to rescue her and escape the Spaceballs, but crash-land on a desert planet. There, they meet Yogurt (Mel Brooks), who introduces Lone Starr to The Schwartz. However, the Spaceballs trick Vespa and capture her again. Lone Starr and Barf rescue the Princess again, but not before the Spaceballs have succeeded in forcing King Roland to reveal the entry code to Druidia's atmosphere. Their spaceship Spaceball I transforms into Mega Maid with a vacuum cleaner, which starts to extract the air from Druidia. Lone Starr uses his Schwartz ring to reverse the procedure, defeats Dark Helmet in a duel using lightsaber-like weapons emanating from their Schwartz rings, and causes Mega Maid to self-destruct.

 

Lone Starr returns the Princess to Druidia and, since his creditor Pizza the Hutt "ate himself to death" while locked in his car, leaves without taking the agreed payment, a million spacebucks, instead taking 248 spacebucks. Shortly afterwards, on finding out that he is a "certified Prince", he returns in time to interrupt the marriage and marry Vespa.

 

. . .

 

As of 2007, an animated sequel TV series is in preparation.

 

George Lucas' Industrial Light & Magic was also involved in the special visual effects for the film.

 

The majority of the scenes and characters are parodies of Star Wars, although the film parodies other movies as well, most notably:

 

* Jaws (gigantic shark-like space ship with Jaws-like music)

* Transformers (Spaceball One; during the merchandising scene with Yogurt, Spaceballs The Coloring Book has Optimus Prime on the cover, the lunch box is also from the Transformers The Movie product line, except with "SPACEBALLS" on it.

* Battlestar Galactica

* Superman: The Movie (musical score)

* The Police Academy movies (Michael Winslow sound effects; Winslow has a cameo in the film as a Spaceball officer)

* The Sir David Lean films The Bridge on the River Kwai and Lawrence of Arabia

* The Wizard of Oz (first meeting with Yogurt)

* Planet of the Apes (crashed remains of Spaceball One)

* Rambo

* Star Trek The beaming sequence with the character Snotty (a parody of Scottish character Montgomery "Scotty" Scott), and the scene where Lone Starr attempts to knock out a Spaceball by performing (at first, unsuccessfully) the Vulcan Neck Pinch. Also, the interior of Lone Starr's Winnebago is very reminiscent of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

* Max Headroom

* Back to the Future

* Rocky (including its supposed continuation up to "Rocky Five ... Thousand")

* 2001: A Space Odyssey

* It Happened One Night

* Alien (John Hurt reprising his famous death scene from that movie, and even groaning in despair, "Oh no! Not again!"; the chestburster emerges from the victim, screams, smiles, puts on a straw boater hat with a miniature cane in one hand, and begins dancing and singing like Michigan J. Frog, performing Hello! Ma Baby)

* Dumbo (Yogurt saying to Lone Starr that he doesn't need the ring)

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Milkman delivers]

I think I forgot to put Spaceballs on my list. I suck. Also, Bill Pullman's not even mentioned on the cover of the movie?

[Texsox]

I didn't actually rank mine, it was just off the top of my head, not in order. Now I wish I had put them in order.

[Felix]

Spaceballs, one of the best.

[knightni]

Vizzini: No more rhyming now, I mean it. Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut? Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH.

 

29. (tie) The Princess Bride (1987)

 

(6 of 23 lists - 51 points - highest ranking #7 vandy125)

 

The Princess Bride is a 1987 film, based on the 1973 novel The Princess Bride by William Goldman, combining comedy, adventure, romance and fantasy.

 

The movie was directed by Rob Reiner from a screenplay by Goldman.

 

The main narrative of the movie is framed by a scene between a grandson (Fred Savage) and a grandfather (Peter Falk). The grandson is home ill, and the grandfather has come to read him a story. The plot of the movie is the enactment of the story as it is being read, which is sometimes interrupted by comments by the grandson and grandfather. This resembles the original book, wherein the author presents a fictionalization of his own darkly comic or lightly tragic relationships with the book, his father, and his wife.

 

In a Renaissance-era fairy-tale world, a beautiful woman named Buttercup (Robin Wright) lives on a farm in the fictional country of Florin. She delights in verbally abusing the farm hand Westley (Cary Elwes) by demanding that he perform chores for her. Westley's only answer is, "As you wish," which represents his great affection for her. After Buttercup realizes the true meaning of the words, as well as the fact that she returns his love, Westley leaves to seek his fortune so they can marry. He promises to return, but Buttercup later receives word that his ship was attacked at sea by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who is notorious for taking no prisoners. Five years later, believing Westley to be dead, Buttercup becomes reluctantly engaged to Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon), heir to the throne of Florin.

 

Before the wedding, Buttercup is kidnapped by a trio of outlaws: the short Sicilian criminal genius Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), the Spanish fencing master Ínigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), and the enormous and mighty Turk Fezzik (André the Giant). A masked man in black follows them across the sea and up the Cliffs of Insanity; Vizzini orders Ínigo to stop him. Ínigo arranges a fair fight, allowing his opponent to rest before the duel, during which Ínigo reveals that he is seeking revenge on a six-fingered man who killed his father. The man in black wins their duel, but leaves the Spaniard alive. Vizzini, stunned, orders Fezzik to kill the man in black. Fezzik, also honorable, throws a rock as a warning, and challenges the man in black to a wrestling match. He chokes Fezzik until the giant blacks out.

 

The man in black catches up with Vizzini, who is holding Buttercup hostage. He then challenges Vizzini to a battle of wits, which Vizzini accepts. The man in black produces a vial of "iocane powder" (a fictitious, undetectable poison), hides two goblets of wine behind his back as if to poison one of them, then instructs Vizzini to choose a goblet. Vizzini uses logic to deduce which cup is poisoned, drinks from one, and dies. The man in black then reveals to Buttercup that he had poisoned both goblets, but was not affected because he had built an immunity to iocane powder.

 

With Prince Humperdinck's rescue party in hot pursuit, the man in black flees with Buttercup, and confirms her guess that he is the Dread Pirate Roberts, Westley's murderer. Enraged, she shoves him into a gorge, yelling "You can die, too, for all I care!" only to hear him call, "As you wish!" She realizes that he is Westley, who tells her that the Dread Pirate Roberts did attack his ship, but kept Westley alive after hearing the depths of his love for Buttercup. Westley had signed on as his apprentice, learning to sail, fence, and fight. Eventually, Roberts secretly passed his name, captaincy, and ship to Westley, just as the previous Roberts had done for him.

 

Westley and Buttercup travel through the feared Fire Swamp to evade Humperdinck's party, surviving the explosions of flaming gas from the ground; a fall into the quicksand-like substance known as "lightning sand"; and an attack by the huge, carnivorous "Rodents Of Unusual Size". On exiting the swamp, they are captured by Humperdinck and his menacing six-fingered vizier Count Tyrone Rugen (Christopher Guest). Buttercup negotiates for Westley's release and returns with Humperdinck to the palace to await their wedding. Rugen, who has no intention of releasing Westley, instead takes him to the Pit of Despair where he is first cared for by the Albino (Mel Smith), and then tortured.

 

Buttercup later has several nightmares regarding her marriage to the prince. She expresses her unhappiness to Humperdinck, who proposes a deal: he will send out four ships to locate Westley, but if they fail, Buttercup will marry him. Humperdinck secretly reveals to Rugen that although he arranged Buttercup's kidnapping in order to start a war with neighboring country of Guilder, her safe return won the affection of the people, so it will be better propaganda if she dies on her wedding night.

 

On the day of the wedding, Ínigo and Fezzik meet by chance while Fezzik helps enforce a royal decree to empty the city's slums. Ínigo learns of the existence of Count Rugen and decides he must kill him. Therefore, they seek out the man in black, hoping that his wits(which Ínigo decides must have beaten the absent Vizzini) will help them overcome the guards. Buttercup learns that Humperdinck never sent the ships, and taunts him with her enduring love for Westley. Enraged, he tortures Westley, apparently to death. Westley's screams draw Ínigo and Fezzik to the scene; upon finding Westley's body, they enlist the help of Miracle Max (Billy Crystal), a magician who had worked for Humperdinck's father before the prince expelled him. Max is initially reluctant to help, but changes his mind to spite Humperdinck. He pronounces Westley to be merely "mostly dead" and resurrects him, though Westley only slowly regains the use of his limbs over the course of the rest of the film.

 

Westley devises a successful plan to invade the castle during the wedding. Upon hearing the resulting commotion, Humperdinck orders the wedding ceremony cut short. Buttercup decides to commit suicide as soon as she reaches the honeymoon suite. Ínigo pursues Rugen through the castle, repeating throughout his much-rehearsed challenge: "Hello. My name is Ínigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Severely wounded, he finally kills Rugen. Westley reaches Buttercup before she commits suicide and assures her that her marriage is a sham, since she never made any vows. Still partly paralyzed, he bluffs his way out of a sword fight with Humperdinck. Instead of killing his rival, Westley decides to leave him alone with his cowardice. The party rides off into the sunset on white horses, conveniently discovered by Fezzik. Westley offers the role of Dread Pirate Roberts to Ínigo, who has avenged his father and now needs a new purpose in life.

 

The story finished, the grandfather gets up to leave. Before he goes, the grandson—who started out not wanting to hear the story at all—asks his grandfather to come back and read it to him again the following day. The grandfather replies, "As you wish."

 

. . .

 

This film is number 50 on Bravo's "100 Funniest Movies" and number 88 on The American Film Institute's (AFI) "AFI's 100 Years... 100 Passions" listing the 100 greatest film love stories of all time.

 

André the Giant had undergone major back surgery prior to filming, and despite his great size, could not support the weight of the much lighter Cary Elwes or Robin Wright for a scene at the end of the movie. For the wrestling scene, when Elwes was pretending to hang on André's back, he was actually walking on a series of ramps below the camera during close-ups. For the wide shots, a stunt double took the place of André; on close examination, it is apparent that the double is much smaller than André

 

When Count Rugen hits Westley over the head, Cary Elwes told Christopher Guest to go ahead and hit him for real. Guest hit him hard enough to shut down production for a day while Elwes went to the hospital.

[Controlled Chaos]

I've never seen Kingpin. One cool aspect of this listing is just that...to make aware of something ya didn't know about. I'm gonna have to rent Kingpin.

Yeah that's why when it's all said and done...I wanted to see a list of every single movie submitted. I know there'll be some movies I never heard of that I'll want to see.

 

Great job Knightni!

[knightni]

What kind of convenience store do you run here?

 

29. (tie) Clerks (1994)

 

 

(5 of 23 lists - 51 points - Highest ranking #3 southsider2k5)

 

Clerks is a 1994 film written and directed by Kevin Smith, who also appears in the film in a minor role. Starring Brian O'Halloran as Dante Hicks and Jeff Anderson as Randal Graves, it presents a day in the lives of two store clerks and their acquaintances. Clerks was the first of Smith's "View Askewniverse" films. It introduces several characters, notably Jay and Silent Bob, who reappear in his later works.

 

Dante Hicks is a clerk at the Quick Stop, a local convenience store in Leonardo, New Jersey. One morning, he receives a phone call from his boss, who claims that another employee is sick. After a brief argument, he reluctantly agrees to work, on the promise that he will be relieved at twelve o'clock so he can play hockey with his friends. When he arrives to open up the store, he realizes that the shutters outside will not open because someone jammed gum in the locks. With the shutters down, the store appears closed, so he writes "I assure you; we're open" in shoe polish on a large bed sheet and hangs it in front of the store.

 

Next, a man enters the store to buy coffee and talks a customer into buying chewing gum instead of cigarettes after showing him a human lung corroded by tar. As more cigarette buyers come in, the man's interventions become more impassioned, eventually turning them into a mob, who form around Dante angry that he is "selling death", and begin calling him a "cancer merchant". After Dante is assaulted with cigarettes, his girlfriend Veronica Loughran enters, acting quickly and calming the crowd by spraying them with a fire extinguisher. After a conversation, it is revealed that the agitator was a representative for a chewing gum company, and was stirring up the smokers with intent on selling more gum.

 

Later, Dante and Veronica have a conversation regarding Dante's current disposition, as he seems to be in a rut but has no motivation to change. After the conversation, a customer arrives who is an old boyfriend of Veronica's, Willam "Snowball" Black (known as such for his enjoyment of his own semen being passed back into his mouth after fellatio a.k.a. snowballing). It is revealed that Veronica has, throughout her life, performed fellatio on 36 men other than Dante, which makes him furious, considering Veronica hit him previously for admitting to having sex with twelve different women.

 

Dante's fellow clerk, Randal Graves, who works at the neighboring video store, shows up late once again. Dante finds out from Randal that his unfaithful ex-girlfriend Caitlin Bree is to be married to an Asian design major, much to Dante's disdain. As they pass time during the day they converse about many things, such as if the contractors working on the second Death Star when it was destroyed at the end of Return of the Jedi were innocent victims or not.

 

Dante eventually learns that his boss is in Vermont, and no one is going to relieve him at noon as promised. He convinces his friends to play hockey on the store roof, and closes down the store, leaving a sign on the door explaining, "Store Closed. Will Re-open After 1st Period." Twelve minutes into the game an irate customer shoots their only ball off the roof and into a gutter. The two reopen the store and Dante finds out another of his ex-girlfriends has died and her memorial service is today. Randal talks him into closing the store again and going to the wake. The audience does not see what happened inside the house containing the memorial service, simply seeing them go in, time pass, a woman scream and the two run out (it should be noted that due to an unfilmed scene inside the house being animated for the 10th Anniversary Edition DVD, it is now known that while at the memorial Randal accidentally knocks over her coffin after trying to retrieve keys that are dropped in as an accident, and the body falls out). They rush back and when they return to the store, Randal asks to borrow Dante's car to rent a film from another video store (despite the fact that he works in a video store, he knows the other one is better).

 

While on duty, a fitness trainer enters the store, and criticizes Dante's body size, and observes that he's out of shape, even asking a customer for her opinion. It turns out the three actually attended high school together, and the two customers reveal that even they knew of Caitlin's infidelity, although Dante was oblivious. During the conversation, another man enters, and questions Dante about where he was earlier in the day, then serves Dante a summons. It turns out the man is there to serve Dante a $500 fine for selling cigarettes to a four-year-old, even though it was Randal who actually sold the cigarettes.

 

After the trainer, girl, and health department rep. leave, Dante is surprised by a visit from Caitlin. After some banter Dante becomes torn between her and Veronica. Dante finally decides he will go on a date with Caitlin and drives home to change, after Randal returns. When Dante returns he discovers Caitlin has had sex with a dead man in the bathroom mistaking him for Dante (the man had earlier entered the bathroom with a pornographic magazine and collapsed with a heart attack). In severe shock, Caitlin is taken away in an ambulance, along with the corpse she recently fornicated with. Afterwords, Jay and Silent Bob enter the store. Jay invites Dante to come to party with them, but Dante refuses. Jay, frustrated, leaves. Silent Bob, who knows about Dante's predicament, stays behind. He then says to Dante, his only line in the movie, "You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." It is then that Dante realizes that he loves Veronica. Later, Veronica comes into the Quick Stop and yells at Dante after Randal tells her he was in love with Caitlin. The two, Dante and Randal, get into a huge fight then reconcile. The film ends with Randal walking out of the store before briefly returning to toss Dante's sign at him stating, "You're closed!"

 

The lost scene

 

The events of Julie Dwyer's wake were scripted by Smith, but unfilmed due to the probable cost of producing the scene. For the tenth anniversary Clerks X DVD release, the scene was produced using an animation style similar to that of Clerks: The Animated Series. The "lost scene" was also presented in comic book form of the Clerks comic book series, with the title of "The Lost Scene".

 

Dante and Randal, after hearing of the death of Dante's former high school flame Julie Dwyer, go to her wake. At the wake, Randal picks up some death cards from a table and discusses collecting them like baseball cards. Dante also runs into another former high school classmate, Alyssa Jones. Alyssa tells Dante that she was going to see Julie's appearance on Truth or Date (see Mallrats) before she learned of her death. Randal walks over to the two and greets Alyssa with "Hey, 'Finger Cuffs'!", prompting her to angrily storm off.

 

As Dante and Randal wait in line to see Julie Dwyer's casket, Dante recalls the time he and Julie were caught having sex by her parents. When the two arrive at the casket, they question the choice of Julie's funeral clothing (a tube top), and Randal decides he's bored and wants to go to the car. Dante throws him the keys, but Randal misses the catch and the keys fall into Julie's pants. Dante reaches into the pants to find the keys while Randal rubs his shoulders, making it seem like Dante's upset. Julie's father pushes Randal out of the way and, after seeing Dante's actions, pounces on him. Randal is then pushed by Mrs. Dwyer and bumps into Julie's casket, which topples over, as does Julie's body. Randal catches the keys as they fly into the air, and he and Dante run out abruptly.

 

The Alternate Ending

 

An alternate ending was written for the film, but was removed after Clerks shown at a film festival and viewers commented that it was too sad and violent. After Randal leaves the store in the ending, Dante goes back behind the counter. The camera perspective switches to the perspective of a man entering the store. Dante apologizes and says that the store is closed. The man then pulls out a gun and fires it, presumably killing Dante. He walks behind the counter and fills a folder with money from the cash register. After he leaves, the camera focuses on Dante's body, blood dripping down his hands, and the movie ends.

 

Fans have discussed how this ending may have made shed more light on the Star Wars conversation, since it would have ended the movie on 'down notes' such as Veronica leaving Dante, Caitlyn being left in a catatonic state, and Dante being shot in the end, all ironically because "he wasn't supposed to be there that day". Fans have also talked about how if the ending had happened, there would not be any other movies in the line such as Mallrats or Clerks 2.

 

. . .

 

The film is in black-and-white and roughly edited due to a very modest budget of US$27,575.

To acquire the funds for the film, Smith sold a large amount of his extensive comic book collection in 1993, maxed out eight to ten credit cards with $2000 limits, dipped into a portion of funds set aside for his college education and spent insurance money awarded for a car he and Jason Mewes lost in a flood.

 

The film was shot in 21 straight days (with two "pick-up" days).

 

A Quick Stop convenience store (located at 58 N. Leonard Avenue in Leonardo, New Jersey) where Smith worked was the primary setting for the film. He was only allowed to film in the store at night while it was closed (from 10:30 p.m. to 5:30 a.m.). This is why in the film "someone jammed gum in the locks" and the steel shutters had to remain closed; otherwise, it would seem odd that it was dark outside during all the daytime scenes.

 

Because Smith was working at Quick Stop during the day and shooting the film at night, he slept no more than an hour a day. By the end of the 21 day shoot, Smith was unable to stay awake while some of the most climactic scenes of the film were shot.

 

The MPAA originally gave Clerks an NC-17 rating, based purely on the film's explicit dialogue — it contains no real violence, and no clearly depicted nudity. This was a financial death sentence, as very few cinemas in the United States will screen NC-17 films. Miramax hired civil liberties lawyer Alan Dershowitz to appeal the decision; the MPAA relented and re-rated the film with the more commercial "R" rating, without altering a single frame or word.

 

 

 

 

 

[knightni]

I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

 

27. (tie) South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

 

 

(3 of 23 lists - 52 points - highest ranking #2 FlashTizzle)

 

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut is an Academy Award-nominated animated satirical comedy/musical film released in 1999 and based on the animated television series South Park. The film parodies animated Disney films such as Beauty and the Beast and the Broadway musical Les Misérables, as well as parodying the controversy surrounding itself. It features 12 songs by Trey Parker and Marc Shaiman with additional lyrics by Matt Stone.

 

The Terrance and Phillip movie "Asses of Fire" opens in South Park's movie theater, and despite the R-rating for the film due to numerous crude jokes, constant flatulence humour and excessively strong swearing, Stan Marsh, Kyle and Ike Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick manage to sneak in to watch it. They utter many of the profanities in the film to their peers, causing most of the rest of the student body to eventually sneak in to watch the film and subsequently utter similar profanities, despite efforts by the school's teacher Mr. Garrison and school counselor Mr. Mackey to teach the students to not swear. The only student not to succumb to the film's lure is Wendy Testaburger, Stan's crush, who has fallen for Gregory, a new and better educated transfer student, to whom Stan takes an instant dislike.

 

After seeing a showing of the film, Eric dares Kenny to light a fart as done in the movie; Kenny tries to but ends up blowing himself up and dying. Kyle's mother, Mrs. Broflovski, learns that the kids have been seeing the movie and have learned to swear from it, and takes steps to encourage other parents to help ban the film. Furthermore, Mrs. Broflovski with the help of Dr. Vosknocker (Eric Idle) installs a "V-Chip" in Cartman, which issues an electric shock to him every time he tries to swear, in an attempt to adjust Cartman's behavior; Mrs. Broflovski encourages the rest of the townsfolk to do the same to their kids. Upon learning the film was made in Canada, Mrs. Broflovski vows to stop all Canadian smut from getting to the kids even going as far to convince President Bill Clinton to take a stand. Terrance and Phillip are captured while taping on Conan O'Brien's (Brent Spiner) show, and Canada responds by bombing the mansion of the Baldwin brothers. This prompts the United States to go to war with Canada, and Terrance and Phillip are scheduled to be electrocuted at a U.S.O. show the day before the war is to commence.

 

Meanwhile, Kenny finds himself in Hell and meets Satan and his lover, Saddam Hussein. Satan learns of the potential demise of Terrance and Phillip, which will complete a prophecy that will allow Satan to be able to leave Hell and come to peacefully visit the surface of the Earth, a dream that he secretly desires. Hussein also realizes that he can use this opportunity to take over the world, but when Satan questions his motives, Hussein promises that "he can change", which Satan takes for granted. Kenny tries to tell Satan to dump Hussein before it is too late, as well as attempting to warn Cartman, though as a ghost, he only manages to scare Cartman away.

 

On the surface, as war approaches, the kids of South Park are under curfew, but they manage to meet in secret and form "La Resistance", a group dedicated to saving Terrance and Phillip. Stan is surprised to find Gregory willing to help, and with Gregory's aid, they approach another kid, "The Mole", who hates God, and helps in devising a tunneling plan to free the Canadian actors.

 

At the show, the boys manage to execute part of the plan: Stan and Kyle get Big Gay Al to sing a long song at the show to allow The Mole to tunnel up on stage; however, Cartman, frightened by another appearance of Kenny's ghost, fails to deactivate the alarms, and the Mole is caught and chased & killed by Guard Dogs. However, before anyone can take action, the Canadians attack, with large numbers of fatalities on both sides. The Mothers Against Canada, looking down on the action from a nearby hill, are horrified at what their actions have lead to, except for Sheila, who claims that this is what she wanted the organisation to achieve. Disgusted, the rest of the MAC abandon her to look for their children. In the chaos, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman manage to free Terrance and Phillip, though Cartman receives a large electrical shock that plays havoc with his V-Chip. The boys try to escape with the actors, but are caught. However, as other kids gather around to protect Terrance and Phillip, nearly everyone realizes that the war has been futile - except for Mrs. Broflovski, who shoots both Terrance and Phillip down. As their blood spills, Satan and his minions, along with Hussein and Kenny, emerge from Hell. Hussein quickly takes a dominant position over Satan, and claims control of the world in his name. As the minions attack everyone around, Cartman finds that the shock the V-Chip took gives him the ability to shoot electricity as long as he swears; using this newfound power, he strikes down Hussein several times. At the urging of Kenny, Satan steps in and throws the stunned Hussein back into Hell, impaling him on a large rock and killing him. Satan promises Kenny one wish for his help, and Kenny sacrifices himself to reset the world back before the whole war started. Kenny also shows his real face and un-muffled voice to his friends before his final farewell.

 

As the movie closes, Mrs. Broflovski has realized the error of her ways and takes kindly to Terrence and Phillip, the folks of South Park offer Satan to come back and visit, and Wendy dumps Gregory in favor of Stan. While Kenny is still dead, he is allowed into Heaven and given angel wings for his good deeds and sacrifice. The credits follow, and after them, A scene is shown with Kyle's brother, Ike looking out the window, waiting and waiting, until suddenly he spots a mouse and eats it.

 

. . .

 

The song "Blame Canada" was nominated for an Academy Award.

 

Guest voices

* George Clooney - Dr. Gouache

* Brent Spiner - Conan O'Brien

* Minnie Driver - Brooke Shields

* Dave Foley - The Baldwin Brothers

* Eric Idle - Dr. Vosknocker

* Mike Judge - Kenny's goodbye

 

The movie's use of profanity gained it a spot in the 2002 edition of Guinness World Records for "Most Swearing in an Animated Film" (399 profane words, including 146 uses of f***, 79 uses of s***, and 66 uses of b****, 128 offensive gestures and 221 acts of violence).

 

The film was also banned in Iraq, for its depiction of Saddam Hussein as Satan's lover. While the real Saddam was on trial for genocide charges in 2006, Matt Stone joked that the U.S. military was showing the movie repeatedly to the former dictator.

 

Trey Parker in a VH1 special said he heard that Stephen Sondheim, famed musical theater composer and lyricist, thinks South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut is the best musical he's seen in the past 15 years. Parker joked about writing Sondheim a response saying, "We think you've done some good work, too."

 

 

 

 

[Felix]

Clerks and The Princess Bride, two awesome movies/choices.

[knightni]

I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?

 

27. (tie) Meet The Parents (2000)

 

 

(5 of 23 lists - 52 points - highest ranking #6 ChiSox_Sonix, 3E8)

 

Meet the Parents is a 2000 comedy film starring Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller. The film was distributed by Universal Studios and DreamWorks SKG and directed by Jay Roach of Austin Powers fame.

 

A male nurse (Greg Focker) intends to propose to his girlfriend (Pam Byrnes). But before he can even ask, he goes to visit Pam's parents' house on Long Island for the weekend to attend Pam's sister's wedding. Little does Greg know, he will have to endure a troublesome cat, Pam's ex-boyfriend, all of Pam's relatives, and her intrusive father, Jack Byrnes, a retired CIA operative who wonders if Greg is good enough for Pam. Greg struggles to impress Pam's family, but it seems everything he says or does is offensive to the Byrneses.

 

One of the first things Greg learns about Jack is his belief in a system called the "Circle of Trust". The idea of the system is that within Jack's circle of friends, there are no secrets. Throughout the films, this system proves to be flawed, since Jack doesn't trust some people in the circle (namely Greg), and some people in Jack's family are untrustworthy (like his teenage son Denny, who, unbeknownst to his dad, smokes marijuana). Also, the circle permits Jack to invade other people's privacy.

 

Jack uses mind games, lie detector tests, and constant questions to push Greg over the edge. Greg will have to overcome Jack's interrogations and tests to finally persuade Jack to allow him to marry his daughter. At one point towards the end, Jack says to his wife Dina, "Just gotta do one more thing. Meet his parents", thus paving the way for a sequel.

 

. . .

 

In 2004 its sequel Meet the Fockers was released.

 

Another sequel, Little Fockers, has been announced.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[knightni]

Okay.

 

The countdown will resume tomorrow around 11:30am or so.

[SleepyWhiteSox]

Forrest Gump as one of the funniest movies...interesting...

 

I hope I don't see Fargo as a "dark comedy" on the list.

 

Both are amazingly great movies, but neither are in my top 50 of make-me-laugh funny movies, as I prefer more pure comedies.

 

 

And the first half or so of Superbad was funnier than all of Knocked Up, which dragged.

[Texsox]

I just added Clerks to my netflix queue

[Kalapse]

Forrest Gump as one of the funniest movies...interesting...

 

I hope I don't see Fargo as a "dark comedy" on the list.

 

Both are amazingly great movies, but neither are in my top 50 of make-me-laugh funny movies, as I prefer more pure comedies.

 

 

And the first half or so of Superbad was funnier than all of Knocked Up, which dragged.

That's exactly how I feel about 2 Peter Sellers movies, Dr. Strangelove and Being There. Both are excellent films but neither has me laughing uncontrollably (especially Being There) yet they always appear on these "funniest movies" lists. George C. Scott is historical in Strangelove but the storyline isn't particularly humorous in and of itself.

[mr_genius]

excellent write-ups on the movies, knightni

[BigEdWalsh]

That's exactly how I feel about 2 Peter Sellers movies, Dr. Strangelove and Being There. Both are excellent films but neither has me laughing uncontrollably (especially Being There) yet they always appear on these "funniest movies" lists. George C. Scott is historical in Strangelove but the storyline isn't particularly humorous in and of itself.

 

I actually think Dr. Strangelove is pretty darn funny in an absurd kind of way. Someone mentioned Fargo and I considered it for my list but it wasn't really that funny...way too dark, but definitely an excellent movie. For the record, since I'll be exposed anyway, Dr. Strangelove was #1 on my list. I can't believe a few movies that I forgot about, namely Home Alone, Dumb and Dumber and The Pink Panther. Oh well. None would have been number one but they probably would have made the list, pushing out my last 3. I also felt stupid to find out that my list only had 19 movies. I think I must have been tired.

Edited April 22, 2008 by BigEdWalsh

[Kalapse]

I actually think Dr. Strangelove is pretty darn funny in an absurd kind of way. Someone mentioned Fargo and I considered it for my list but it wasn't really that funny...way too dark, but definitely an excellent movie. For the record, since I'll be exposed anyway, Dr. Strangelove was #1 on my list. I can't believe a few movies that I forgot about, namely Home Alone, Dumb and Dumber and The Pink Panther. Oh well. None would have been number one but they probably would have made the list, pushing out my last 3. I also felt stupid to find out that my list only had 19 movies. I think I must have been tired.

Is Dr Strangelove seriously the "funniest" movie you've ever seen or is it just the best movie you've ever seen that's categorized as a comedy?

[SleepyWhiteSox]

Is Dr Strangelove seriously the "funniest" movie you've ever seen or is it just the best movie you've ever seen that's categorized as a comedy?

 

My list of greatest comedies would probably be different from funniest movies.

 

And I only got through about an hour of Dr. Strangelove. I think what turned me off is that it definitely did not live up to the hype at all, so I changed the channel. Offered far fewer laughs than I expected from a great comedy. But I definitely want to finish seeing it when I get the chance.

[Felix]

I really enjoyed Dr. Strangelove, but I wouldn't put it as one of the funniest movies of all time.

[BigEdWalsh]

Is Dr Strangelove seriously the "funniest" movie you've ever seen or is it just the best movie you've ever seen that's categorized as a comedy?

 

True enough. As I made out my list I pretty much forgot it was "funniest" movies and not "best comedy" because there is a difference. For the record Duck Soup is the funniest movie I ever saw, but that was from way before 1958.

[knightni]

excellent write-ups on the movies, knightni

 

I'd like to thank wikipedia for this honor...

 

[southsider2k5]

Ah yes, some great choices so far. Great to see two of my favorite comedic directors starting to get plenty of movies on the list in Kevin Smith and Mel Brooks. Two of the best in the business, without a doubt.

[shipps]

I never seen Clerks but I seen Clerks 2(go figure) and thought it was one of the worst movies I ever seen so I cant watch the first now.

[southsider2k5]

The first Clerks was SOOOO much better than the first. Its not even close.