witesoxfan Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 QUOTE (SoxFan1 @ May 1, 2008 -> 10:38 PM) 0 am passed man. You fail. What time is it when the clock strikes the 13th hour? Time to get a new clock In a related story, I steal jokes off of Laffy Taffy wrappers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 QUOTE (witesoxfan @ May 2, 2008 -> 01:15 AM) What time is it when the clock strikes the 13th hour? Time to get a new clock In a related story, I steal jokes off of Laffy Taffy wrappers. What do Astronauts eat in their sandwiches? Launch Meat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHizzle85 Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 QUOTE (knightni @ May 1, 2008 -> 11:21 PM) What do Astronauts eat in their sandwiches? Launch Meat. Where do cows go on a Friday night? To The Mooooovies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witesoxfan Posted May 2, 2008 Author Share Posted May 2, 2008 What did I start? a bunch of people telling really corny jokes meant for 7 year olds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 A strings walks up to a bar. He orders a drink but the bartender throws him out and yells "We don't serve strings in this bar!" The string gets up off the ground, roughs up himself, curls up and goes back inside the bar. The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I said?" The string says "Yeah." The bartender says, "Aren't you a string?" The string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witesoxfan Posted May 2, 2008 Author Share Posted May 2, 2008 Where do wasp's go to get healed when they have an injury? The wasp-ital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be in this jam! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Yes! I love this new thread. Totally dig corny jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Why was the tombstone always unhappy? Everyone kept taking him for granite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjshoe04 Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 My favorite How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonard Zelig Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Why was the math book so sad? It had a lot of problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Louis Ck's list of terrible jokes: What do you call it when a long fish didn't quite make it? - he eelmost made it. What do you call a young cat with crap all over it? - A s***ten. What is the most talkative condiment? - Mayosays. What do you call a gay man when YOU have a cold? - a hobo. What should you use to write down that you just took a dump? -a number 2 pencil. Where do you leave a hair pie to cool it off? -on the vagisil. What do you call it when you have your name written on your breasts? - Identitties What do you call it when a lumberjack farts? - He cut the trees. What do you call a piece of crap that is horizontal, up against an erect penis that is vertical? - Poop-and-dick-cular What do you call some guys with large backbones who sodomize pettite people? - Spinal men-in-tight-ass What do you call a fast food chain that gives you gas? -Burper King What do you call it when you are worried that someone has a tumor? - You are cancerned about him/her What do you call a chinese homosexual? - A gasian. What do you call it when you press your tits onto someone's balls? - Chesticles. What do you call a lesbian who drives around in a Ford Winstar full of dimembered penises? - A Dick-Van Dyke. What do you call the female child of the woman who helps you while you're pregnant? Also the woman is from Boston and the child is sort of oddly tall shaped. - My doula's oblong daughtah. What did the hillbilly jewish guy say when his mother got sick and he didn't care? - Ma's ill? Tough! What do you call it when you kill yourself by letting too many animals in your house? - Zooinsid What do you call an infant who has been raised by homosexual parents? - A gaby. What do you call it when you go out with a woman and you force her to eat pancakes? - Date crepe. What do you call a nun who you don't like? - A nunt. Why can't a soldier look whistfully at the ocean? - Because there's no Gaze in the military. What do you call a dog that doesn't lick his balls? -A Dogsn't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjm676 Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 These are right up my alley....... What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse If a fruit grows on a fruit tree, what kind of tree does a chicken grow on? A: A poultree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 My friends and I are always trying to out-pun each other and they have to be ultra corny. One of them just IM'd me "Thai?" and I replied "No, today is business casual". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 How do you shoot a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun! How do you shoot a pink elephant? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 A man walks into a bar. You'd think he would have seen it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHizzle85 Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 What goes tick-tock, woof-woof? A Watchdog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrunkBomber Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 What did the worm say to the caterpillar? Hey, where'd ya get the fur coat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiSox_Sonix Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 If a deaf person has to go to court for trial, is it still called a hearing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanOfCorn Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 A horse walks into a bar...the bartender says: Why the long face? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHizzle85 Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 What did the girl sea say to the boy sea when he asked her on a date? Shore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanOfCorn Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 How about some punchlines only...? Rectum...damn near killed 'im! Would I? Harelip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooftop Shots Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Hey Doc! Would you mind if I sew up my own wound after the operation is finished. Suture-self! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Gotta have the old standby... Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight (ate) nine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.