Steve Phillips must be smoking some good stuff!

[EvilJester99]

Steve Phillips's Moronic Guide To The Reds

I was sent this ESPN The Magazine article, and wow, I'm just blown over with its utter stupidity. Of course, it's by Steve Phillips, so this comes as little surprise. But still, it's low, even by his standards. Hopefully you all have a good chuckle at it.

 

Phillips's first idea is for the Reds should call up the ChiSox and offer up Ken Griffey for Josh Fields or Carlos Quentin. Let's substitute names for a second. He thinks that the Reds should trade a 38-year-old outfielder in the final year of his contract -- who is hitting .244/.317/.378 -- for either a 25-year-old outfielder who is hitting considerably better, or a 25-year-old third baseman. Of course they should! The only problem is getting Ken Williams drunk enough to say yes.

 

Next on the list: unload Adam Dunn. The 28-year-old can still get on base and mash, and can be an asset to a contender. So who does he think are fitting targets? The Blue Jays for starters. What should they ask for? Adam Lind and Dustin McGowan or Shawn Marcum. All the sarcasm in the world can't fully capture the stupidity of that idea. Another target is Cleveland. What's the haul, Steve? Cliff Lee, and then one of Franklin Gutierrez, Jeremy Sowers, or Aaron Laffey. Yep. Nothing like trading your pitcher with a 0.81 ERA for a three-outcome slugger in his walk year.

 

For a break in the laughter, he suggests trading Bronson Arroyo and bringing up Homer Bailey. That's fine and good, especially since he doesn't name names.

 

Here's my personal favorite. Call up Hank Steinbrenner and completely circumvent GM Brian Cashman on this deal, because apparently Phillips thinks Steinbrenner is a raging moron who smokes PCP dipped in embalming fluid. Make him an offer he can't refuse: Jared Burton and Jeremy Affeldt for Phil Hughes. Hey, Burton has 22 strikeouts in 15.2 innings, so he must be good! Nevermind that it's a terribly small sample (he also has a 4.02 ERA in those innings). Nevermind that Burton has never had that kind of strikeout success above A ball, and that this might just be a fluke.

 

But no, because Phil Hughes has struggled through the season's first month, he's got to go. And as an added bonus, Joba Chamberlain can move to the rotation! Nevermind that this is the plan anyway. You can only do it if you trade Hughes for two relievers! Yes, because two relievers is absolutely a fitting price for a 21-year-old pitcher who in 2007 was rated the best pitching prospect in the game.

 

His final idea is to trade Ryan Freel for Scott Proctor. Eh. Not bad enough to throw around some more snark.

 

The crazy thing is, I remember when a team made a series of moves like this, where they gave up all the crap on their roster and turned it into an All-Star lineup. It was my team in MVP Baseball 2005. Man, we rocked. I should have made Steve Phillips the honorary GM of the team.

 

Posted by Joe Pawlikowski, who writes for River Ave. Blues, a Yankees blog. Hence his outrage at Phillip's suggestion that they trade Hughes.

 

 

[Swingandalongonetoleft]

Quentin for Griffey, nice. In two years I'm taking Steve Phillips to my dealership and trading in my '07 Saab 9-3 for an all new 2010 9-3 + gas for the first year.

[Brian]

There is a reason he was a hack at the GM position.

[Steve9347]

There's a reason Phillips got canned. That Hughes idea is reminiscent to Kazmir for Victor Zambrano.

 

Only Phillips actually made that trade.

[hawksfan61]

There's a reason Phillips got canned. That Hughes idea is reminiscent to Kazmir for Victor Zambrano.

 

Only Phillips actually made that trade.

 

While the list of reasons that Phillips is an asshat is a mile long, that trade unfortunately is not on it. Jim Duquette made that brilliant move. Funny how he no longer worked for the Mets the year after that trade......

[Steve9347]

While the list of reasons that Phillips is an asshat is a mile long, that trade unfortunately is not on it. Jim Duquette made that brilliant move. Funny how he no longer worked for the Mets the year after that trade......

I stand corrected. Good thing that f*** got canned.

[Kyyle23]

Given the thread in Pale Hose talk and this thread, Im starting to believe that we need a "WTF is Steve Phillips Thinking Catch-all"

 

He always gives us crazy bad ideas to talk about year in year out

[hawksfan61]

I stand corrected. Good thing that f*** got canned.

 

Its easy to assume that he is the one that made that trade given all of his other idiotic moves, it just seems like it has Phillips written all over it. His time on ESPN may be more embarassing than anything at this point, between stuff like this and his hysterical fake GM press conferences, we should just all be thankful that he is around to give us another dolt to laugh at.

[SoxFan562004]

Its easy to assume that he is the one that made that trade given all of his other idiotic moves, it just seems like it has Phillips written all over it. His time on ESPN may be more embarassing than anything at this point, between stuff like this and his hysterical fake GM press conferences, we should just all be thankful that he is around to give us another dolt to laugh at.

that was epically bad.

 

I hope firejoemorgan.com unleashes on this