A great article about Father's day and disabilities

[whitesoxfan101]

http://nwi.com/articles/2008/06/15/sports/...468006e2a02.txt?

 

Dan McNeil column: A son's disability provides a daily gift for Dad

BY DAN MCNEIL

For The Times | Sunday, June 15, 2008 | 6 comment(s)

 

Because I have asked to be forgiven, I will admit something publicly. For several years, I was mad at God.

 

In the fall of 1996, my son Patrick, then 3 years old, was diagnosed with autism, a neurological disorder that has become an epidemic in this country.

 

Patrick's early years were difficult. He didn't speak. He wasn't socially active. He tantrumed a lot and regularly was incorrigible. He didn't sleep well, and as a result, his brothers, Van and Jack, and his mom and dad endured many long nights.

 

Why him? I wondered angrily. Why us? How ignorant and selfish I was. The greatest gift I was ever given stared me in the face every day, but I was too full of worldly ideals to recognize it.

 

It's true what they say about how fast the time evaporates when raising children. Van is a year away from heading off to IU. He'll humor me by tagging along to Canada for our annual walleye hunt next month, but he needs the old man most -- like most 17-year-olds -- when the gas tank is low.

 

Jack, my youngest, shares my penchant for 1970s rock and roll, a grilled strip steak and "Borat," but he's 13. He would be uncool if his idea of a good time was hanging out with a relic like me.

 

Patrick is decidedly atypical. My middle son demands his time with me. He has playmates, and his brothers are thoughtful, patient, caring sibs, but he doesn't have "regular friends." Wednesday night, for example, following a swim and ample serving of chocolate ice cream, he nestled up to me on the couch, grabbed my hand and requested "Dad to tickle my neck." Gladly. All night.

 

Patrick isn't impressed with Dad because Dad hosts a popular Chicago radio show. This gives me much-needed perspective.

 

Patrick does not covet material possessions. He is selfless and unassuming.

 

Patrick has little vanity. If somebody giggles because he walks out of the bathroom naked or picks his nose, he doesn't care.

 

After more than a decade of intensive behavioral treatment, spearheaded by his tirelessly devoted mother, Jill, Patrick's life is joyful. He enjoys riding his bike, playing Xbox, listening to music and playing the piano, riding roller coasters. Despite the limitations of autism, my blue-eyed, fair-complected, husky, little man is exceedingly happy.

 

And isn't that all every parent wants for their child? I don't know if I've seen Patrick more radiant than he was last Monday at Stonewall Orchard Country Club in Grayslake. It wasn't because my radio show hosted an outing that raised almost $50,000 for INFEAT (Indiana Families for Effective Autism Treatment, INFEAT.org). It wasn't because the Bulls' Ben Gordon and legendary hockey announcer Pat Foley were among the celebrity captains.

 

For the first time in his musical career, Patrick had a big audience to hear him croon "The Star Spangled Banner." He approached me with purpose in his walk as I was set to introduce him to more than 200 participants and volunteers. He ripped the microphone from me and softly, sweetly sang the Anthem.

 

Former White Sox slugger Ron Kittle said later, "that started the heart." Patrick always has that effect on me. All of my sons give me great joy and make me proud to be their dad. But for Patrick, in many ways undaunted by the oft-imprisoning chains of autism, I'm always going to be Daddy, always going to be the go-to guy when it's time to play underwater chase or time for "tickle my neck."

 

I don't need a new tie today. No golf balls or after shave. Father's Day comes 365 days a year.

 

I'm sure almost everybody here knows who Dan McNeil is between his days on ESPN Radio and previously on WSCR. As somebody who has a brother with disabilities (not as bad as autism, but still a challenge), I have to say he sums up perfectly the feelings of the family of kids growing up with disabilities. I figured I'd post it, because this article really hit home for me, and I figured it might for somebody else.