"Funnier than a..."

[SpringfieldFan]

I am sure we all have heard those similes (I guess that's what you call them) people use to stress a point. For example, "finer than frog hair". I love these things so I thought it would be fun to share some.

 

Some I have heard:

"funnier than a on-legged man in an a**-kicking contest"

"drunker than a cowboy on saturday night"

"wilder than eight monkeys with seven bananas"

"hotter than a two dollar pistol"

 

And some of my own:

"sweeter than a blue-eyed prom queen"

"hotter than channel 99 in a 30 dollar motel room"

"hotter than Satan's kitchen"

"richer than O.J's attorney"

"busier than a rabbit on viagra"

 

If you got anymore, I would love to hear 'em.

 

SFF

[The Critic]

My dad would always say this on a cold day:

 

"It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra!"

[knightni]

"Funnier than a rubber crutch."

 

 

[CanOfCorn]

Scared as a long-tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

[SoxFanForever]

"Scarcer than hens teeth"

 

"Scarcer than a Luftwaffe dagger"

[knightni]

"Busier than a one-armed paper hanger."

 

"Busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest."

[SpringfieldFan]

"Funnier than a rubber crutch."

 

On first glance, I thought this said "Funnier than a rubber crotch"

 

SFF

[MHizzle85]

"Tougher than a $2 steak."

 

"Tougher than a 3-legged dog trying to take a piss."

[juddling]

"It's colder than a well-diggers brass buttons!"

 

 

I never understood that one.

[FlaSoxxJim]

"Uglier than a sackful of elbows" - I busted a gut laughing so hard when I first heard this one. Elbows are pretty damn ugly, and the thought of a sackful of them makes me laugh

 

"Smells worse than a bag of dead feet" - I like this one for the same reasons as the above.

 

Then there's the not so politically correct:

 

"So cheap, you couldn't get a better deal from a drunken Indian"

 

And one a guy I knew always said that never made sense but he said it anyway:

 

"Cool as a soup sandwich"

 

 

 

[Jake]

Non-PC:

Gayer than AIDS

[EvilJester99]

One I heard b4 is "I'm beat like a sore dick"

[juddling]

i don't remember where i heard this but if something goes quite right but still turns out ok I say "That was like a $5 hooker.....ugly but did the trick!"

[SpringfieldFan]

"beaten like a redheaded stepchild"

"whipped like a dog on the bed"

"serious as a heart attack"

 

 

SFF

[knightni]

"Hotter than Blazes."

 

"Slicker than snot...on a marble."

[EvilJester99]

"He's more slippery than whale s*** in an ice storm"

[Rooftop Shots]

I once had an old boss that used this one a REAL LOT. If something went real well, he would always say ,

"Slicker than a cows foot stuck in the mud"

 

 

[shipps]

"dumber than a bag of rocks","butt looks like a sack of potatoes".

[mreye]

Maybe neighbor used to always say:

 

"As useless as balls on a priest."

 

She's an elderly woman.

[southsider2k5]

Out like the Cubs in September.

[YASNY]

Graceful as a bull in a china shop.

Colder than a well diggers ass.

[WilliamTell]

For the non-PC and no offense to anyone.

Queer as a $3 bill.

 

Otherwise, Strange as a $3 bill.

Edited August 28, 2008 by WilliamTell

[Jake]

For the non-PC and no offense to anyone.

Queer as a $3 bill.

 

Otherwise, Strange as a $3 bill.

 

I think "queer" can mean the same thing as strange, not always just homosexual.

[WilliamTell]

I think "queer" can mean the same thing as strange, not always just homosexual.

 

obviously, but most are going to think that. I can't say I'm going to have a gay old time like the Flinstones once did. Words have different meaning now.

[mreye]

obviously, but most are going to think that. I can't say I'm going to have a gay old time like the Flinstones once did. Words have different meaning now.

I used to tease my former boss, who is gay that they took all the cool stuff like rainbows, Barry Manilow and "gay", which should mean "fun".