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What do i do?


Sonik22

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QUOTE (kyyle23 @ Oct 8, 2008 -> 08:50 AM)
LOL, we are all so bad. The funny thing is, 4 years down the line someone else is going to make a girl problem thread just like this, and Sonik is gonna jump in and say "Forget about her, go get drunk"

Exactly. You learn as you move on... and then you get married and you know it wasn't to the chick who went up and started banging some dude her first week at college. (unless you were that dude)

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Yeah, this was pretty much inevitable the moment she told you about "seeing other people." Focus on enjoying yourself at college, and surrounding yourself with as many boobs as possible (this is really a good goal to keep in mind for the rest of your life as well). Don't go out of your way to talk to her, don't become that guy friend she vents to, and really just move on and try to forget about her. Don't be mean or do anything vindictive, though. That never works out well, and you shouldn't feel like you have to stoop to that level.

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Knowinghow to gracefully leave a relationship, job, internet message board, etc. is a great life skill that will pay dividends. You never know when you will be swimming back upstream and having grace and class will help.

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QUOTE (Texsox @ Oct 8, 2008 -> 04:54 PM)
Knowinghow to gracefully leave a relationship, job, internet message board, etc. is a great life skill that will pay dividends. You never know when you will be swimming back upstream and having grace and class will help.

 

I Break With Thee. . .

 

I Break With Thee. . .

 

I Break With Thee. . .

 

And then you throw dog poop on their shoes.

 

:)

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Lol thats why I put this stuff on soxtalk, because i know I'm gonna get good responses. I can't just ditch out on her, because we were best friends before all of this stuff happened. I've already got over the fact that I'm not that main guy anymore, it sucks, but w/e. I still want her in my life, but I'm not going out of my way for her anymore. I love everything you guys said.

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QUOTE (Sonik22 @ Oct 8, 2008 -> 06:05 PM)
Lol thats why I put this stuff on soxtalk, because i know I'm gonna get good responses. I can't just ditch out on her, because we were best friends before all of this stuff happened. I've already got over the fact that I'm not that main guy anymore, it sucks, but w/e. I still want her in my life, but I'm not going out of my way for her anymore. I love everything you guys said.
I don't think anyone is telling you to ditch out on her. You really should distance yourself from her, though -- unless you can say for absolute certain that you don't harbor some hope of being with her, because if you try staying good friends with her while she's dating someone else, and you still have feelings for her, it'll eat you up inside. And no one should hurt themselves like that, for any reason.

 

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Sonik goes to SIU?! Where you living?

 

As for the girl problems- there's a lot of really smart and attractive girls down here, doesn't make much sense that they come here but they do. Just walk down College or Cherry this weekend and you'll forget this chick in a heartbeat. It took all of 10 minutes to get over this evil slut I dated this summer after coming to Carbondale.

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QUOTE (Sonik22 @ Oct 8, 2008 -> 03:05 PM)
Lol thats why I put this stuff on soxtalk, because i know I'm gonna get good responses. I can't just ditch out on her, because we were best friends before all of this stuff happened. I've already got over the fact that I'm not that main guy anymore, it sucks, but w/e. I still want her in my life, but I'm not going out of my way for her anymore. I love everything you guys said.

Neither of you are seeing each other nor would seeing each other really work given your circumstance. Plus, you both are new to college, its a great time to experience new things. She's not going to marry this guy just like you aren't going to marry whatever girl you hook up with next.

 

The important part is that the two of you remember your friends. I'd say forget the chick but its pretty evident the two of you were really good friends in high school. I'm still friends with some girls I was really tight with in high school as well as my guy buddies. I even had a short lived fling with one of those girls in college where we tried the whole "more than friends thing". Bottom line you were friends with her before and you'll be friends with her down the road. It doesn't mean you have to like her boyfriend or even talk about him, just continue to do what you normally would do.

 

Now my stance changes if the only reason you've ever been friends with her is to get with her. In that case I'd ditch the chick completely.

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QUOTE (Chisoxfn @ Oct 8, 2008 -> 09:09 PM)
Neither of you are seeing each other nor would seeing each other really work given your circumstance. Plus, you both are new to college, its a great time to experience new things. She's not going to marry this guy just like you aren't going to marry whatever girl you hook up with next.

 

The important part is that the two of you remember your friends. I'd say forget the chick but its pretty evident the two of you were really good friends in high school. I'm still friends with some girls I was really tight with in high school as well as my guy buddies. I even had a short lived fling with one of those girls in college where we tried the whole "more than friends thing". Bottom line you were friends with her before and you'll be friends with her down the road. It doesn't mean you have to like her boyfriend or even talk about him, just continue to do what you normally would do.

 

Now my stance changes if the only reason you've ever been friends with her is to get with her. In that case I'd ditch the chick completely.

I was best friends with her before i got the feelings for her. So yeah...

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QUOTE (almagest @ Oct 8, 2008 -> 09:10 PM)
But can you STAY friends now? Do you want more?

I still would like more yes, but I can handle knowing shes with someone else. I'm not waiting for her anymore, I'm done with that bs, we'll see what happens down the road.

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QUOTE (Sonik22 @ Oct 8, 2008 -> 11:02 PM)
I still would like more yes, but I can handle knowing shes with someone else. I'm not waiting for her anymore, I'm done with that bs, we'll see what happens down the road.
I speak from experience when I say: if you do want more, then let it go. Seriously. Even if you think it's manageable, or that you're over it, etc., constant contact with her will keep all those feelings in the front, and will probably end up ruining any chance for a relationship, or even friendship. You need to let them die down, and you need to move on, and you can't do that if you're in the "will see what happens down the road" mode.

 

Also, she chose someone else over you, she fed you a line about "needing to see other people to be sure you're the one" line, then got mad at you for doing the same thing. You can't let her expect that everything will continue on like nothing ever happened.

 

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QUOTE (almagest @ Oct 8, 2008 -> 03:34 PM)
Yeah, this was pretty much inevitable the moment she told you about "seeing other people." Focus on enjoying yourself at college, and surrounding yourself with as many boobs as possible (this is really a good goal to keep in mind for the rest of your life as well). Don't go out of your way to talk to her, don't become that guy friend she vents to, and really just move on and try to forget about her. Don't be mean or do anything vindictive, though. That never works out well, and you shouldn't feel like you have to stoop to that level.

 

He IS on Soxtalk, isn't he? There are lots of boobs on this board.

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two ways to win this girl...one short term, one long....both follow the same course of action, but the end point depends on her

 

Invite her and her friends to your college....get copious amounts of booze for you, your friends, her and her friends...drink, heavily. Be obnoxious, hit on her, hit on her friends, but don't be buddy-buddy emotional....basically be a huge asshole. she will either A.) love it, and shes yours (though not long term cuz if she loves it shes probably a ho) or b.) she will hate it (good in long run). if she hates it, keep acting like that all throughout your first two years of college. Drunk dial her. talk about girls you hook up, talk about her hot friends. She'll wonder, "what happened to sonik, he used to be such a nice guy", but she'll still always talk to you because you are good friends. And besides, college is fun, and that is how it is supposed to be. Then toward the end of college (hopefully you've been studying your balls off the whole time too) get into a great graduate program (medical or law or business or something) or get some job where you start pulling in some green. Start wearing nice clothing and drinking only johnnie walker, treat her well. Ask about her and her family, take a genuine interest. Be the nicest guy possible. She'll think "my god has he changed, i just love a mature man." She'll love how much you have changed (but still realize you know how to have a good time) and at first will resist her temptations to hook back up with you, but it won't last long. You're an now an irresistible, responsible handsome young man that every female college graduate dreams of sleeping with. Hook, line and sinker...now you've got her...from here, go on get married, cheat on her as often as possible while remaining together in a happy marriage, and poof, you've just lived the true American Dream

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QUOTE (daa84 @ Oct 9, 2008 -> 02:39 PM)
two ways to win this girl...one short term, one long....both follow the same course of action, but the end point depends on her

 

Invite her and her friends to your college....get copious amounts of booze for you, your friends, her and her friends...drink, heavily. Be obnoxious, hit on her, hit on her friends, but don't be buddy-buddy emotional....basically be a huge asshole. she will either A.) love it, and shes yours (though not long term cuz if she loves it shes probably a ho) or b.) she will hate it (good in long run). if she hates it, keep acting like that all throughout your first two years of college. Drunk dial her. talk about girls you hook up, talk about her hot friends. She'll wonder, "what happened to sonik, he used to be such a nice guy", but she'll still always talk to you because you are good friends. And besides, college is fun, and that is how it is supposed to be. Then toward the end of college (hopefully you've been studying your balls off the whole time too) get into a great graduate program (medical or law or business or something) or get some job where you start pulling in some green. Start wearing nice clothing and drinking only johnnie walker, treat her well. Ask about her and her family, take a genuine interest. Be the nicest guy possible. She'll think "my god has he changed, i just love a mature man." She'll love how much you have changed (but still realize you know how to have a good time) and at first will resist her temptations to hook back up with you, but it won't last long. You're an now an irresistible, responsible handsome young man that every female college graduate dreams of sleeping with. Hook, line and sinker...now you've got her...from here, go on get married, cheat on her as often as possible while remaining together in a happy marriage, and poof, you've just lived the true American Dream

Post of the Year.

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