Do you believe that wakes help heal grieving?

[shipps]

I dont believe in wakes for those that have passed away.I think they are morbid and only scar those that are grieving even further.Why would you want your last thought of that person that you love to be looking at them in a casket.All your last thoughts and memories should be when they were living whether it be happy or sad moments.I know when I die (hopefully a long time from now) I dont want everyone to come stare at my dead body for their last moment with me.A funeral is enough closure to come to the realization that the person is gone IMO.

 

Not sure if this needs to be in the buster,if need be we can move it.

[Kyyle23]

Not all wakes have a body in a casket. While I understand what you are saying, I have never had a problem going to a wake and saying my final goodbye to a loved one, body or no body(I have been to both)

[shipps]

Well kyyle thats what got me to believe this way.My grandmother did not have a wake with an open casket because she was cremated.And it really helped my grieving process,if she was in a casket and that was my last moment with her I would have never got that picture out of my head.

[G&T]

I've had the recent deaths of my mother and grandfather. In both cases having a wake helped because, if nothing else, it forces you to go out and be around other people. I don't really see what's morbid about saying your last goodbyes to a loved one.

[Texsox]

I believe the unstructured time of a wake is much different then the typical funeral. There is too little time to gather with friends and relations during the funeral. It is usually too scripted and too formula.

 

There are many variations on a wake, but I eblieve they all have value in the grieving process.

[EvilMonkey]

Your question really depends on the people you are talking about. Some people really need that time to share their memories with others who knew the deceased. Other feel that as long as people are remembered, they are not truely dead, so the wake helps to keep the memory alive. And some just can't stand the sight of a body in a casket. My family generally uses the wake to get your crying out, and then has a party afterwards to celebrate the life that the person lived. Any bad memories you may get from seeing the body in the casket would be quickly replaced by the hundreds of stories you would hear or tell. And as long as they are remembered, they are not completely dead.

[RockRaines]

nope, they are just creepy IMO.

 

I want my "memorial" to be more of a remembrance of good times and have a celebration feel. I hate the deafening quiet of wakes.

Edited September 15, 2008 by RockRaines

[Texsox]

I hate the deafening quiet of wakes.

 

Around my family there is usually laughing and crying, and it is never quiet. THere are a lot of variations. My will calls for hiring a comedian for mine.

[shipps]

My will calls for hiring a comedian for mine.

 

Did you request it be a comedian that kills?

 

Badum

[EvilMonkey]

Did you request it be a comedian that kills?

 

Badum

Maybe he could hire you. That joke sure did.

[RockRaines]

Around my family there is usually laughing and crying, and it is never quiet. THere are a lot of variations. My will calls for hiring a comedian for mine.

I've been to a few irish wakes that are a bit more lively, just remembering stories of the past.

[Kyyle23]

I've been to a few irish wakes that are a bit more lively, just remembering stories of the past.

 

Those are the types of wakes I am usually a part of

[DABearSoX]

My grandmother passed back in April and I thought the wake with the open casket was a good thing. It was my first close family funeral that I have attended and only my second wake. It gave me peace to go up and say my final things to her. However my Brother was exactly opposite. He did not feel that it helped at all. So I think its all in the way that you grieve and celebrate the life of the person who you have lost.

[CanOfCorn]

Around my family there is usually laughing and crying, and it is never quiet. THere are a lot of variations. My will calls for hiring a comedian for mine.

 

I hear Carrot Top is available...and he could use your body as props.

[Texsox]

Let's do an experiment and see if it helps . . .

Here lies the 2008 White Sox, they fought the good battle and gave all they had, but in the end, their injuries were just too great

[maggliopipe]

I generally think a wake can be helpful but color me a closed casket kinda guy. If you're gonna have an open casket, might as well go all out and skip the casket like this guy: http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Man-kept-upr...d8e0ab6e2c2e871

 

[kjshoe04]

That right there is creepy.

[Jake]

My bro died almost a year ago and we had to decide whether or not to open the casket. He was struck by a car and we decided his face didn't look enough like him. I felt comforted to see him and it helped me to feel certain that the situation was real. It had been nearly 6 months since I had last seen him, so I felt a bit detached from the event until I saw him up close. I felt like the wake was a chance to spend some time with him for the very last time. We also played a Sublime album in the background to keep there from being an eerie silence.

 

I've also been to a wake for my Greek grandfather. There were both jovial kisses on the body in the casket and sobs that were louder than shouts. You'll have that with us Greeks.

[RockRaines]

That right there is creepy.

+1

 

Dead bodies freak me the f*** out. Once they are dead, its just a rotting piece of meat, the person you know is gone.

[greasywheels121]

[YASNY]

When you lose somebody close, like a parent, spouse or child, you really really appreciate the informality of the wake. People are free to sit with you and talk about about your loved one and commiserate with you. You will hear stories that you never heard before about the person that you loved so deeply. Wakes exist because they help those that need it most.