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The Art of the Pickup


Reddy

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So I'll preface this with the fact that I've been in lengthy relationships almost non-stop for all of my high school through college life. But now, for the last year I've been single and I feel like I missed the part where I learned how to meet women. Which brings us to today's question:

 

How do you approach a girl you don't know? At a bar/club/party or even in a normal, everyday situation - say a girl in class (for us college folk)? Do you go it alone? Do you use a wingman? And do you approach it differently based on what you're looking to get out of it?

 

I ask because a) I'm interested in hearing about other guys' tactics, b ) I've been inspired by Neil Patrick Harris' character on How I Met Your Mother and c) because i suck at it.

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QUOTE (Reddy @ Oct 10, 2008 -> 11:59 AM)
So I'll preface this with the fact that I've been in lengthy relationships almost non-stop for all of my high school through college life. But now, for the last year I've been single and I feel like I missed the part where I learned how to meet women. Which brings us to today's question:

 

How do you approach a girl you don't know? At a bar/club/party or even in a normal, everyday situation - say a girl in class (for us college folk)? Do you go it alone? Do you use a wingman? And do you approach it differently based on what you're looking to get out of it?

 

I ask because a) I'm interested in hearing about other guys' tactics, b ) I've been inspired by Neil Patrick Harris' character on How I Met Your Mother and c) because i suck at it.

I kind of know where you're coming from. I went to Elmhurst College and it's something like 7 to 1 girl to guy ratio, so it was very easy for me to talk to and meet women in college, but then I was hit with the real world where it isn't as easy!

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QUOTE (Reddy @ Oct 10, 2008 -> 11:59 AM)
So I'll preface this with the fact that I've been in lengthy relationships almost non-stop for all of my high school through college life. But now, for the last year I've been single and I feel like I missed the part where I learned how to meet women. Which brings us to today's question:

 

How do you approach a girl you don't know? At a bar/club/party or even in a normal, everyday situation - say a girl in class (for us college folk)? Do you go it alone? Do you use a wingman? And do you approach it differently based on what you're looking to get out of it?

 

I ask because a) I'm interested in hearing about other guys' tactics, b ) I've been inspired by Neil Patrick Harris' character on How I Met Your Mother and c) because i suck at it.

 

First of all, you do realize Neil Patrick Harris is...gay.

 

Secondly, confidence is your best bet. And be as funny as you can without forcing it. And then...pray to the Gods of the Cooch.

 

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QUOTE (shipps @ Oct 10, 2008 -> 02:27 PM)
I learned in life it pretty much always better to just go balls out when it comes to women(i dont mean that literally).They like when you just get to the point with confidence.Thats your best bet for success.

 

Unless they're nice balls, then you might have a shot. Maybe there's something wrong with shipps.

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QUOTE (almagest @ Oct 10, 2008 -> 11:43 AM)
If she makes eye contact, and smiles, and generally looks approachable (e.g., arms aren't crossed, doesn't turn away from you), just go say hi. It's not as complicated as some people think.

:notworthy ^^^

 

Psst, a little secret. Woman are human too. And in more ways than not, just like you. In some ways, women have it harder than men in this situation. A woman asks a guy out and too many guys think it's basically an invitation for sex. It has gotten much better through the years, but still most woman feel they need to sit back and try to get some clueless guy to ask them out. So when Mr. Clueless uses some lame pick up strategy, she is somewhat relieved he finally asked her out and agrees. Meanwhile he thinks it was his incredible pick up line and using his wing man. She has a very good idea about yes or no before you even open your mouth. So the simpler the better. Ask and shut up.

 

Pick a non threatening micro date. In college it is as simple as "I was heading over to the Student Union, wanna grab a coke?" If she says yes, ask about home, pets, vacations, siblings, and other simple common stuff. If she says no, she is busy, smile and ask her if that is "busy, don't ask me again or busy, I'd like to but pick another time". Smile, either way. Not everyone is interested in everyone.

 

And over and over again, women have told me they appreciate honesty, and manners above all. Not the "yes those pants make your butt look fat" honesty, but the basic human quality that links with respect.

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QUOTE (Texsox @ Oct 11, 2008 -> 10:26 AM)
Pick a non threatening micro date. In college it is as simple as "I was heading over to the Student Union, wanna grab a coke?" If she says yes, ask about home, pets, vacations, siblings, and other simple common stuff. If she says no, she is busy, smile and ask her if that is "busy, don't ask me again or busy, I'd like to but pick another time". Smile, either way. Not everyone is interested in everyone.

 

Of course, in Tex' day, things were much different.

 

[begin grainy sepia-toned film]

 

"Why hello, darlin'. If it wouldn't be a heap of trouble for you, would you be interested in walkin' with me down to the General Store? I need to get some picklin' jars, but it'd be mighty nice to sit down and have a cherry phosphate with a charming young lady such as yourself."

 

[/old]

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QUOTE (Heads22 @ Oct 11, 2008 -> 10:53 AM)
Of course, in Tex' day, things were much different.

 

[begin grainy sepia-toned film]

 

"Why hello, darlin'. If it wouldn't be a heap of trouble for you, would you be interested in walkin' with me down to the General Store? I need to get some picklin' jars, but it'd be mighty nice to sit down and have a cherry phosphate with a charming young lady such as yourself."

 

[/old]

:lolhitting Should I have said

I got me half a football field, wanna spark my Maserati and chill?

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QUOTE (Texsox @ Oct 11, 2008 -> 09:26 AM)
:notworthy ^^^

 

Psst, a little secret. Woman are human too. And in more ways than not, just like you. In some ways, women have it harder than men in this situation. A woman asks a guy out and too many guys think it's basically an invitation for sex. It has gotten much better through the years, but still most woman feel they need to sit back and try to get some clueless guy to ask them out. So when Mr. Clueless uses some lame pick up strategy, she is somewhat relieved he finally asked her out and agrees. Meanwhile he thinks it was his incredible pick up line and using his wing man. She has a very good idea about yes or no before you even open your mouth. So the simpler the better. Ask and shut up.

 

Pick a non threatening micro date. In college it is as simple as "I was heading over to the Student Union, wanna grab a coke?" If she says yes, ask about home, pets, vacations, siblings, and other simple common stuff. If she says no, she is busy, smile and ask her if that is "busy, don't ask me again or busy, I'd like to but pick another time". Smile, either way. Not everyone is interested in everyone.

 

And over and over again, women have told me they appreciate honesty, and manners above all. Not the "yes those pants make your butt look fat" honesty, but the basic human quality that links with respect.

 

everything i need to know i learned at soxtalk.com

 

actually, ironically enough, i ran into a girl i sort of know last night and we ended up hanging out and talking till like 5 in the morning. i should post about my failures w/ women more often if this is how it's gonna turn out.

 

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Most of you are in your early 20's, things are pretty black and white at your age.

She either thinks you're hot, in which case as long as you don't say anything too stupid, you're probably gonna hit it.

or

She doesn't think you're hot, in which case, you're not gonna hit it. Don't waste your time in trying to 'win' her, you'll probably end up not acting like yourself and on her 'buddy' list.

 

Look for the signs, she smiles or you catch her looking at you when she thinks you're not looking. If you don't sense any good vibes, don't waste your time. You're all too young to be putting in so much effort. There are plenty of hot, interesting women ready to give up the cookies.

 

 

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QUOTE (MHizzle85 @ Oct 12, 2008 -> 12:11 AM)
I usually just go to parties with my roommate, he's the type to use "lines" so when those fail I usually come up with the "what a goof." Then I start simple conversation.

 

Ah ... the best type of wingman!

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QUOTE (MHizzle85 @ Oct 12, 2008 -> 12:11 AM)
I usually just go to parties with my roommate, he's the type to use "lines" so when those fail I usually come up with the "what a goof." Then I start simple conversation.

the question here is whether he realizes he's being such a good wingman or not. regardless, well done. haha

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QUOTE (Reddy @ Oct 12, 2008 -> 09:14 AM)
the question here is whether he realizes he's being such a good wingman or not. regardless, well done. haha

Lately I think he's realized that he's become my wingman, especially since I know now which line he's gonna use. I also tend to laugh whenever he does it...

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QUOTE (Heads22 @ Oct 11, 2008 -> 11:53 AM)
Of course, in Tex' day, things were much different.

 

[begin grainy sepia-toned film]

 

"Why hello, darlin'. If it wouldn't be a heap of trouble for you, would you be interested in walkin' with me down to the General Store? I need to get some picklin' jars, but it'd be mighty nice to sit down and have a cherry phosphate with a charming young lady such as yourself."

 

[/old]

 

But then again, how hard was it to pick up Eve, when the only other competition on the planet was animals?

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QUOTE (Reddy @ Oct 13, 2008 -> 07:51 AM)
wh... wh... wha... WHAT!?

 

that was like... my whole plan.

 

damn.

I dont understand how those tools can come across to people as believeable "pickup artists." I guess if you wear goggles on your head around the clock people will think women like you?

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