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Bad Advice Thread II


knightni

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I think Valentine's Day dinner is all about romance and getting you both in a romantic mood.

 

That being the case, the perfect Valentine's day night out is Hooters and then a strip club. A cheap strip club preferentially, because:

 

a ) you want to demonstrate you are responsible financially

b ) you don't want the strippers to be significantly hotter than your date or she will be self-conscious

c ) your date is likely not supermodel material, so you want to be able to demonstrate your ability to become aroused by women even when they are not real lookers

 

Make sure you let us know how it goes.

Edited by FlaSoxxJim
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QUOTE (FlaSoxxJim @ Feb 3, 2009 -> 09:23 PM)
I think Valentine's Day dinner is all about romance and getting you both in a romantic mood.

 

That being the case, the perfect Valentine's day night out is Hooters and then a strip club. A cheap strip club preferentially, because:

 

a ) you want to demonstrate you are responsible financially

b ) you don't want the strippers to be significantly hotter than your date or she will be self-conscious

c ) your date is likely not supermodel material, so you want to be able to demonstrate your ability to become aroused by women even when they are not real lookers

 

Make sure you let us know how it goes.

brb. doing this with wife

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QUOTE (knightni @ Feb 3, 2009 -> 09:45 PM)
Hmm...

 

I don't know...

 

Don't women like flowers, or something?

 

The whole women liking flowers thing is way overblown, but most women are too reserved to say anything. A case of beer is generally more appreciated, and more practical.

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Give her a big pink heart shaped box. When she opens it she should find your built up fecal matter from the past 2 weeks and a hand written note that reads,

 

"Now you know me from the inside out, will you be my valentine?"

 

Girls love ways you can show them your interested in intimacy without sex.

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Take her to get a massage at a rub and tug. Tip the "masseuse" extra before she begins. Tell her you want to stay and watch whatever kind of happy ending they come up with. Then take her to the Old Country Buffet. Keep an eye on what types of foods she is eating the most and is enjoying, then when she isnt looking fill up ziplock bags with said food and put it in your jacket pocket and save for later. On the way home ask her to stop at the free clinic and run in and grab some free condoms (it will let her know that "youre in" for later). When you arrive home, break out the Boones Farm. Snow Creek Berry is my favorite. Then, bust out the ziplock bag and give her some of the food you stole. It will show her you care and that you were attentive enough to know what she was enjoying. When she goes to freshen up in the bathroom, strip off all your clothes and do the pose of your choice in the living room (naked man, works 67% of the time) and have at it.

Edited by DrunkBomber
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