joejoesox Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 (edited) Read topic, adios Fatty! Inflammation in his left knee, probably because he's fat. Retroactive to June 8th Edited June 9, 2009 by joesaiditstrue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Thats how they made room for Poreda. Makes sense, Contreras moves into the rotation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soxfan3530 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Could be the end of the Colon experiment.... Hopefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowand44 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 So keeping the youth talking going. How long until we see Danks 2.0? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marky Mark Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I heard he was going to the DL for starvation. He hasn't eaten since breakfast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joejoesox Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (Markbilliards @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 03:37 PM) I heard he was going to the DL for starvation. He hasn't eaten since breakfast. "That's it for me, thanks everybody!" "Where's he going?" "Oh, he's practicing showman-ship, he's leaving on a high note" Sir, you may now leave in style Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (Rowand44 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 01:34 PM) So keeping the youth talking going. How long until we see Danks 2.0? Hopefully at least a few months. I still don't think he's nearly as ready to come up as Becksy was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 This thread needs more fat jokes...then I would really laugh....more fat jokes cause it never gets old,ever. Its so original. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (Rowand44 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 01:34 PM) So keeping the youth talking going. How long until we see Danks 2.0? Well when Quentin comes back, Pods moves to CF and than once Pods struggles or the team falls out of play (or Q gets hurt again), than you'll see Danks come up. But right now, I don't think you see him. Probably at least a month away. A big losing streak could obviously change things and push up his timetable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winninguglyin83 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Story in the Birmingham paper that Colon is scheduled for liposuction surgery on Wednesday with Dr. James Andrews. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanOfCorn Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (shipps @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 03:42 PM) This thread needs more fat jokes...then I would really laugh....more fat jokes cause it never gets old,ever. Its so original. Bartolo Colon is so fat...his butt looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santo=dorf Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Oh man! Another injury! We're so unlucky, just like the 2007 team! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanOfCorn Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (shipps @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 03:42 PM) This thread needs more fat jokes...then I would really laugh....more fat jokes cause it never gets old,ever. Its so original. Bartolo Colon is so fat...he was floating in the Atlantic Ocean and Spain claimed him as the New World. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanOfCorn Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (shipps @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 03:42 PM) This thread needs more fat jokes...then I would really laugh....more fat jokes cause it never gets old,ever. Its so original. Bartolo Colon is so fat...his favorite food is seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (Rowand44 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 03:34 PM) So keeping the youth talking going. How long until we see Danks 2.0? Hopefully September at the absolute earliest. Preferably he'll be ready to go to start 2010. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiSox_Sonix Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (CanOfCorn @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:55 PM) Bartolo Colon is so fat...he was floating in the Atlantic Ocean and Spain claimed him as the New World. That's actually pretty funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthSideSox72 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 So far, this thread is as embarrassing as I figured it would be. Kudos to the posters who have nothing intelligent to add beyond fat jokes and laughable team comparisons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanOfCorn Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (NorthSideSox72 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 03:58 PM) So far, this thread is as embarrassing as I figured it would be. Kudos to the posters who have nothing intelligent to add beyond fat jokes and laughable team comparisons. Bartolo Colon is so fat...he looks at a menu in a restaurant and says, "Okay." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I nailed this one... You could see this coming a mile away, even before Poreda was recalled. Colon hasn't advanced at all this season, and the league has started to figure him out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthSideSox72 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 03:59 PM) I nailed this one... You could see this coming a mile away, even before Poreda was recalled. Colon hasn't advanced at all this season, and the league has started to figure him out. He's clearly not healthy, and its not his knee either. He's not throwing right, he's not got any real velocity, he's protecting the arm to last as long as possible. If he returns from the DL, he needs to show he can throw with some speed, and then he's a bullpen guy, not a starter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPN366 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Just a thought, but doesn't Colon look like Shrek? I'm mean seriously. Not trying to joke, am I the only one who sees that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santo=dorf Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I nailed this one... You could see this coming a mile away, even before Poreda was recalled. Colon hasn't advanced at all this season, and the league has started to figure him out. Do you believe he is legitimately hurt somewhere? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santo=dorf Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Just a thought, but doesn't Colon look like Shrek? I'm mean seriously. Not trying to joke, am I the only one who sees that? Contreras and Hafner look like Shrek. Colon looks like Andre the Giant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanOfCorn Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 QUOTE (NorthSideSox72 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:01 PM) He's clearly not healthy, and its not his knee either. He's not throwing right, he's not got any real velocity, he's protecting the arm to last as long as possible. If he returns from the DL, he needs to show he can throw with some speed, and then he's a bullpen guy, not a starter. I don't think Colon will accept that role and will ask to be released. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chw42 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 (edited) White Sox Not Supplying Enough Food for Colon Joe Cowley - Chicago SunTimes Rumor has it that Bartolo was not happy with the post-game buffet selection as of late. It seems like only one turkey was not enough as he has always been given two earlier this year as well as with Boston last season and with the Angels the season before that. Bartolo reiterates that if he does not get enough to eat, he will pitch a crappy game. Ozzie Guillen begs to differ. "If that fatass thinks he can f*** around and ask for more food, I'm going to send him back to Venezuela where the kids have to eat lima beans. Alexei's already starving, maybe I should send him to Cuba", said the angry Manager after Colon's second subpar start in a row against the Cleveland Indians. Former backup catcher Corky Miller also addressed the situation. "When I was still here, Bartolo and I were great eating buddies. We'd eat everything together and see who could eat more in eating contests. But when they DFA'd me for Castro, Bartolo felt lonely. Ramon Castro is no eater compared to me. Even though he couldn't understand me and I couldn't understand him, I feel like as if eating has its own universal language." Team captain Paul Konerko thinks that Bartolo is totally being selfish. He also stated that even when he was in the middle of depression last season due to him hitting .200 for the majority of the season, he watched his weight and did not start eating just because he was sick of himself. Konerko also stated that Bartolo's weight problems could be because of his long depression over the years. Ever since his injury in 2006, Colon has put on much more weight. The White Sox brought up left handed prospect Aaron Poreda to fill Colon's spot in the rotation. Don Cooper was overjoyed at this move by Kenny Williams. Cooper went on to say the following: "Bartolo was a hassle to work with. He constantly grew hungry during workout sessions and refused to do any kind of conditioning. He also didn't speak much English so I didn't know what I was going to do. Now I'll actually work with a kid that has some good stuff along with knowledge of the English language. The best thing is that he doesn't weigh 300 pounds." Colon is now on the White Sox DL and has a very bleak future. Will he go into professional eating or just eat the rest of his life until he dies of obesity? Time will tell, but right now, it looks like the White Sox were plenty tired of Bartolo's selfish hunger for more turkey legs. NOTE: THIS IS NOT REAL. Edited June 9, 2009 by chw42 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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