son of a rude Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 As a solution (and punishment) to the nightmare of a first round pick that is Kyle Mcchulloch, I say we chop off two of his fingers and make him into a modern day Mordecai Brown. This could add unusual amounts of spin and movement to his pitches. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mordecai_Brown Mr. Burns: I've decided to bring in a few ringers, professional baseballers. We'll give them token jobs at the plant and have them play on our softball team. Honus Wagner, Cap Anson, Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown... Smithers: Uh, sir? Mr. Burns: What is it, Smithers? Smithers: I'm afraid all of those players have retired and, uh... passed on. In fact, your right-fielder has been dead for a hundred and thirty years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danman31 Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Great Simpsons reference, but a harsh comment on McCulloch. Maybe the bullpen thing will work out for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bighurt4life Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 The "final solution" to our misguided drafts of the early to mid 2000's? Is that what you're getting at here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 You know, now that I think about it, I'm somewhat surprised there aren't more pitchers who have wierd hand/finger anomalies. Or at least that we don't hear about it more often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggsmaggs Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 One of the best Simpsons episodes ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heads22 Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Maybe if Kyle would just shave his sideburns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThunderBolt Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Torture? Here I was thinking we could just turn him into a reliever and send him to AAA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 QUOTE (Balta1701 @ Jul 28, 2009 -> 06:34 PM) You know, now that I think about it, I'm somewhat surprised there aren't more pitchers who have wierd hand/finger anomalies. Or at least that we don't hear about it more often. Nobody knows how to teach someone with a missing finger. You'd have to teach yourself how to use it to your advantage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPN366 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Oneli Perez has six fingers on each hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danman31 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 QUOTE (maggsmaggs @ Jul 28, 2009 -> 06:40 PM) One of the best Simpsons episodes ever. Love the sig. I was going to have a similar one, but you beat me to the punch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BearSox Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 QUOTE (Balta1701 @ Jul 28, 2009 -> 06:34 PM) You know, now that I think about it, I'm somewhat surprised there aren't more pitchers who have wierd hand/finger anomalies. Or at least that we don't hear about it more often. The only one I can think of is Bob Wickman and how his middle finger (is it the middle finger) is missing the tip. Then you got Jim Abbott, but I don't think his missing hand helped him as a pitcher outside of perhaps as being a motivational tool he used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buehrle>Wood Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 (edited) Alfonseca has 6 fingers. The 6th finger does not touch the ball though so not sure how much it helps. Edited July 29, 2009 by Buehrle>Wood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marky Mark Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Wouldn't six fingers give you a sweet changeup or palmball? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 I believe Alfonseca had a weird thing going on with his fingers but I cant remember what it was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba Philips Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 QUOTE (Buehrle>Wood @ Jul 29, 2009 -> 12:04 AM) Alfonseca has 6 fingers. The 6th finger does not touch the ball though so not sure how much it helps. From what I've heard and read about Alfonseca none of his other fingers should have touched the baseball either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPN366 Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 QUOTE (Heads22 @ Jul 28, 2009 -> 06:55 PM) Maybe if Kyle would just shave his sideburns. I don't recall Kyle ever having sideburns in the two years he's been in B'ham. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
son of a rude Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 The "final solution" to our misguided drafts of the early to mid 2000's? Is that what you're getting at here? Sadly, yes. Lance Broadway would have been next if he hadn't been traded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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