Relationship Advice Thread

[SoxAce]

You guys are putting wayyy too much thought into this ...SERIOUSLY ...

 

As you can see... that is a problem for us men. (especially on this board)

[iamshack]

UUHHhh I love ya to pieces, but this is FALSE!!!

 

It has nothing to do with what she realizes she might be missing that gets her interested in a guy another girl is talking to, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that women just don't like other women!! She sees a woman talking to a man that she knows is interested in her and wants that girl to know "hey, back off my s***!" lol ...she doesn't care to be with that guy, but she doesn't want him moving on to another woman. It's a sad and ridiculous reality, but it is, in fact, REALITY!

 

Wedding rings are a red flag for me ..but a lot of women see them as a challenge! This can only be explained by the fact that ..well ...women are scallywags!! And that's the nicest way I can say it! LOL ..Chase DOES NOT wear a ring, even though he'd like to!

 

As far as a woman being a great wing man is concerned, DO IT!! If you can find a girl who is willing and has good intentions, then you couldn't possibly have a better wing man. I have been the wing man more than once and I love it!!

Uhh, I love you to pieces, but I'll trust the 25 other women who have told me this as opposed to your theory that women are just evil? Give me a break. That is the biggest bunch of horses*** I have ever heard.

 

Yes, women who have been with you before, or who you have been interested in before and they have passed might feel that way. But women who you have not met yet or who you have no history with suddenly hate the woman you are talking to? That's nonsense.

[iamshack]

I learned this in college, and I wish I had learned it much earlier. There was a girl I was hanging out with a lot and obviously trying to, well, nail. She was sending way too many mixed signals, so it confused the hell out of me. One night while a bunch of us were out, we ran into another female friend of mine. We got to dancing and talking (and there was no effort to get with her, and really no chance because we honestly were just friends). It got the original girl extremely jealous and I ended up winning.

But I thought we were talking about using a woman as a wingman with woman you do not know or have not yet met?

 

No one is really a wingman when it comes to women you have already met or have a history with. That is called using another chick to make her jealous, not having a wing.

 

I think you guys are veering off course here.

[Balta1701]

Wedding rings are a red flag for me ..but a lot of women see them as a challenge! This can only be explained by the fact that ..well ...women are scallywags!! And that's the nicest way I can say it! LOL ..Chase DOES NOT wear a ring, even though he'd like to!

So, since I could never get a date before I met my current wife, and wearing a ring hasn't seemingly changed a bloody thing, I'm going to conclude that I'm one ugly SOB.

[iamshack]

We are discussing multiple things.

Clearly two different things.

[BrenBlackwood]

Uhh, I love you to pieces, but I'll trust the 25 other women who have told me this as opposed to your theory that women are just evil? Give me a break. That is the biggest bunch of horses*** I have ever heard.

 

Yes, women who have been with you before, or who you have been interested in before and they have passed might feel that way. But women who you have not met yet or who you have no history with suddenly hate the woman you are talking to? That's nonsense.

 

 

I do not believe I ever implied that women are evil ..they are competitive. You don't have to believe me, i do not care one way or the other, but perhaps you should consider that those other women would rather people didn't know the whole, ridiculous truth in that it is all just a bunch of jealousy based nonsense. They, too, like you men, are trying to think too hard about this ...I'm telling you, all that I said is the truth, no matter how absurd you may think it is. I am female, I have 3 sisters and have been through PLENTY of female friends ..none of them would argue with anything I said. Furthermore, I doubt highly that any of the 25 other women to which you are referring, in a one on one conversation with you alone, would argue either!!

 

A woman you do not know who sees you in conversation with a good looking woman, might be intrigued and decide to get to know you ...but more than likely, if you're not a good looking man initially, it's not going to do you any good!!

 

I cannot speak for all women I suppose, but for myself, if I am not attracted to you and you are conversing/dancing with a beautiful woman, I would just think she has bad taste or low self esteem!!

[iamshack]

I do not believe I ever implied that women are evil ..they are competitive. You don't have to believe me, i do not care one way or the other, but perhaps you should consider that those other women would rather people didn't know the whole, ridiculous truth in that it is all just a bunch of jealousy based nonsense. They, too, like you men, are trying to think too hard about this ...I'm telling you, all that I said is the truth, no matter how absurd you may think it is. I am female, I have 3 sisters and have been through PLENTY of female friends ..none of them would argue with anything I said. Furthermore, I doubt highly that any of the 25 other women to which you are referring, in a one on one conversation with you alone, would argue either!!

 

A woman you do not know who sees you in conversation with a good looking woman, might be intrigued and decide to get to know you ...but more than likely, if you're not a good looking man initially, it's not going to do you any good!!

 

I cannot speak for all women I suppose, but for myself, if I am not attracted to you and you are conversing/dancing with a beautiful woman, I would just think she has bad taste or low self esteem!!

I think we are talking about two different scenarios here. I absolutely agree with you that if I have a history with a particular woman, and another woman shows interest, the woman I have a history with will become territorial and/or jealous. It's just human nature for men and women to become somewhat territorial with those they have had a history with. This is why most women and men have a difficult time remaining close friends if they have a history together.

 

What I thought Reddy was trying to say is that a woman can be utilized by a man to help attract a woman he has not yet met or has no history with. It's a pretty well-accepted principle that we attribute value to people or things that our peers attribute value to. It's called anchoring. If a woman sees a man in the company of other women she sees as similar or even prettier/more intelligent/wealthy/etc., she will attribute value to him because her peers have (unless of course she believes he is gay).

 

No hard feelings, I think we were just arguing different points.

[BrenBlackwood]

I think we are talking about two different scenarios here. I absolutely agree with you that if I have a history with a particular woman, and another woman shows interest, the woman I have a history with will become territorial and/or jealous. It's just human nature for men and women to become somewhat territorial with those they have had a history with. This is why most women and men have a difficult time remaining close friends if they have a history together.

 

What I thought Reddy was trying to say is that a woman can be utilized by a man to help attract a woman he has not yet met or has no history with. It's a pretty well-accepted principle that we attribute value to people or things that our peers attribute value to. It's called anchoring. If a woman sees a man in the company of other women she sees as similar or even prettier/more intelligent/wealthy/etc., she will attribute value to him because her peers have (unless of course she believes he is gay).

 

No hard feelings, I think we were just arguing different points.

 

 

Never any hard feelings!! I am not here to make enemies, to believe that I will never have a disagreement with anyone on here, would be naive! It's all in the name of fun and conversation. I see where you are coming from, sorry for the confusion!!

[iamshack]

Yes. And?

Just making the distinction clear.

[Heads22]

Yes. And?

 

And women are inherently evil creatures.

[whitesoxfan101]

And women are inherently evil creatures.

 

I think it could be argued rather easily that men and women are both inherently evil creatures. Women are just a little smarter about it, for the most part, which pisses us off.

Edited July 15, 2010 by whitesoxfan101

[The Beast]

So this summer I've been hanging with a group of people my age who recently have graduated and are back home trying to find jobs in the Chicagoland area. And there's been a girl that I've been attracted to as far as personality goes, though I'm not sure if I'm physically attracted to her yet. Let's just say she's close to Kornikova and I'm looking for Keira Knightley.

 

I also have been texting a different girl off and on, but I feel like I'm attracted to her physically (yes, it is sexting) instead of being attracted to her personality, which still doesn't fit well with me. She's also with a guy and hasn't really been faithful to him while he was overseas, so I'm thinking I should go with girl #1 over this skank, even if it is just getting to know someone.

 

So maybe I'll just go to have fun with the girl whose personality I find attractive tomorrow and let the skank bot slide a bit, eventually catching up with her web of lies.

[Reddy]

the universe has a sadistic sense of humor and is directing it at me. get this:

 

I booked the show. So did the new girl I was into. So did the girl I had a fling with (and by fling I mean it got really intense really quickly, I got invested, she freaked out, and dumped me on my ass, and I still have feelings for her).

 

Are you joking? The odds of that are absurdly low in New York. The ONE person I'd have LOVED to spend plenty of time away from is now going to be in my grill every single day ALONGSIDE the new girl. Unreal.

 

Sidenote referring to my original "unknowing wingman" scenario: last night when I jokingly thanked her for being such a great wingman she claimed she was doing it on purpose because she could tell this new girl liked me. So Bren - think that's the truth?

[BrenBlackwood]

the universe has a sadistic sense of humor and is directing it at me. get this:

 

I booked the show. So did the new girl I was into. So did the girl I had a fling with (and by fling I mean it got really intense really quickly, I got invested, she freaked out, and dumped me on my ass, and I still have feelings for her).

 

Are you joking? The odds of that are absurdly low in New York. The ONE person I'd have LOVED to spend plenty of time away from is now going to be in my grill every single day ALONGSIDE the new girl. Unreal.

 

Sidenote referring to my original "unknowing wingman" scenario: last night when I jokingly thanked her for being such a great wingman she claimed she was doing it on purpose because she could tell this new girl liked me. So Bren - think that's the truth?

 

 

Probably not! More than likely she just said that because she wanted you to think she was aware of all that was going on.

 

The only way to really know for sure is to go out with her again and see if she does it again, or if she let's you handle things on your own.

 

I don't know this girl or her personality so I cannot say for sure!!

[The Beast]

By "overseas," do you mean that he's in the armed forces? If so, stay away from that one. I'm not saying this not because of who the boyfriend is, but I find it very morally reprehensible for someone to cheat on a person who's away serving their country.

Yeah, I don't want to do it, actually. She texted me back today and I decided not to respond. I'm probably not going to act on this one, she's kind of a crazy girl/ny*p*o.

 

I had a lot of fun with the girl I went to the beach with today, so we'll see where that goes, even if it is just a friendship. It was a nice connection.

[farmteam]

I'm not sure why it took me 20 or 21 years to figure out that you have to let women come to you. That is, you can't always be the one texting them, talking to them on facebook or whatever...you have to let them come to you. It seems so obvious, yet it took me way too long to realize it.

 

And I agree with Heads on the ganja thing. For the right type of girl, it definitely could work.

[Balta1701]

I'm not sure why it took me 20 or 21 years to figure out that you have to let women come to you. That is, you can't always be the one texting them, talking to them on facebook or whatever...you have to let them come to you. It seems so obvious, yet it took me way too long to realize it.

 

And I agree with Heads on the ganja thing. For the right type of girl, it definitely could work.

 

Yeah, again, things that never worked for me.

[Heads22]

I'm not sure why it took me 20 or 21 years to figure out that you have to let women come to you. That is, you can't always be the one texting them, talking to them on facebook or whatever...you have to let them come to you. It seems so obvious, yet it took me way too long to realize it.

 

And I agree with Heads on the ganja thing. For the right type of girl, it definitely could work.

 

 

 

Yeah, again, things that never worked for me.

 

You could try it in conjunction with my Bieber haircut.

[Sonik22]

 

 

Seriously, women drive me insane

 

[Balta1701]

You could try it in conjunction with my Bieber haircut.

So, for whatever it's worth, I think I had one of the gay guys at the Pumpkins concert last night sorta making a pass at me.

[iamshack]

So, for whatever it's worth, I think I had one of the gay guys at the Pumpkins concert last night sorta making a pass at me.

Oh, do tell...

[caulfield12]

Every time you intentionally bring in the "wing man" who is a friend to use her in a manipulative way, it never works.

 

One can only be so "strategic" in this...if it happens naturally, that's the only time it is really effective, that girls will notice each other and recognize instinctually that another is circling "their" territory and they have to decide whether the fight or flight response is necessary.

 

As noted, some girls want their guy to stay single, even though they don't really want to date him...it's strange, like that movie My Best Friend's Wedding, even where the guy has a fiance, he still doesn't want another man to be with his friend, even if nothing has ever happened between them romantically.

[iamshack]

Every time you intentionally bring in the "wing man" who is a friend to use her in a manipulative way, it never works.

 

One can only be so "strategic" in this...if it happens naturally, that's the only time it is really effective, that girls will notice each other and recognize instinctually that another is circling "their" territory and they have to decide whether the fight or flight response is necessary.

 

As noted, some girls want their guy to stay single, even though they don't really want to date him...it's strange, like that movie My Best Friend's Wedding, even where the guy has a fiance, he still doesn't want another man to be with his friend, even if nothing has ever happened between them romantically.

Everyone is a little selfish...

[knightni]

Some are a little shellfish when they clam up.

[BrenBlackwood]

So, for whatever it's worth, I think I had one of the gay guys at the Pumpkins concert last night sorta making a pass at me.

 

 

Hey ..that counts!!! haha