The Sir Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 QUOTE (JoeCoolMan24 @ Jul 8, 2011 -> 08:06 PM) Well then agree to extremely disagree, because I'm not going to sit here and try to argue who knows this girl more, me or some people on a message board. Just because I am infatuated with this girl does not mean I don't see her with flaws. She is f***ed up in a lot of ways, but I would never characterize her as a whore/slut/hooker etc. I'm not budging on that, and in the scheme of things here, it's not even the issue at hand. We can disagree. It's not my heart at stake here. I just realized something though. You don't think she's a whore because, with the exception of her interactions with your friend (which you are desperately trying to rationalize), you wanted her to do all those things the other night. You wanted to see her tits, you wanted to drink with her, you wanted to hold her, you wanted to flirt with her and have her flirt with you. You can't see her for what she is and you won't listen to us because from your point of view, you wanted all of that stuff. You still haven't put yourself in her boyfriend's shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxbadger Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Joe, Do what you want to do. I was with a girl for almost 5 years that many people disliked for whatever reasons, etc etc. We eventually broke up, it probably was for the best, but it doesnt mean that a part of me still doesnt love the hell out of her and will always miss her. Live the moments, the future will work itself out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiliIrishHammock24 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 QUOTE (FlySox87 @ Jul 8, 2011 -> 10:21 PM) We can disagree. It's not my heart at stake here. I just realized something though. You don't think she's a whore because, with the exception of her interactions with your friend (which you are desperately trying to rationalize), you wanted her to do all those things the other night. You wanted to see her tits, you wanted to drink with her, you wanted to hold her, you wanted to flirt with her and have her flirt with you. You can't see her for what she is and you won't listen to us because from your point of view, you wanted all of that stuff. You still haven't put yourself in her boyfriend's shoes. I actually barely drank at all, and I didn't want her to continue to drink. I kept taking the bottle away, while my friend kept giving it back to her. And I already did put myself in her boyfriend's shoes a few posts ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiliIrishHammock24 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 By the way, we are texting eachother right now. This is the first time we have had any sort of actual conversation since Wednesday night. Let's see how this goes..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) QUOTE (JoeCoolMan24 @ Jul 9, 2011 -> 03:06 AM) Well then agree to extremely disagree, because I'm not going to sit here and try to argue who knows this girl more, me or some people on a message board. Just because I am infatuated with this girl does not mean I don't see her with flaws. She is f***ed up in a lot of ways, but I would never characterize her as a whore/slut/hooker etc. I'm not budging on that, and in the scheme of things here, it's not even the issue at hand. This is what gets me. You just admitted you are infatuated with her, but you get mad at me and others when we say to make a move and try to "hit it" like we are immoral. It seems to me you want to set it up neatly. Ask her if she wants a relationship. Ask her if she wants to date you. Ask her politely if she wants to drop her boyfriend for you. Commendable, but my gosh, nice guys do finish last. You are not going to win her this way. You told me YOU ARE INFATUATED with her. That means you want sex. What is wrong with trying to make a move and see if it happens. This scenario you want is a joke. She will say you are a sweet guy and she wants to be friends. Period. Right?? If you want this scenario to end this way, then you at least take command and tell her you do not want to talk to her much outside of work any more out of respect to her BF Period. What are you trying to get out of this? A conversation with her that has her simply tell you she desires to be friends? What's the story about her saying you have no dick? What was that all about? Edited July 9, 2011 by greg775 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nitetrain8601 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 QUOTE (greg775 @ Jul 9, 2011 -> 12:02 AM) This is what gets me. You just admitted you are infatuated with her, but you get mad at me and others when we say to make a move and try to "hit it" like we are immoral. It seems to me you want to set it up neatly. Ask her if she wants a relationship. Ask her if she wants to date you. Ask her politely if she wants to drop her boyfriend for you. Commendable, but my gosh, nice guys do finish last. You are not going to win her this way. You told me YOU ARE INFATUATED with her. That means you want sex. What is wrong with trying to make a move and see if it happens. This scenario you want is a joke. She will say you are a sweet guy and she wants to be friends. Period. Right?? If you want this scenario to end this way, then you at least take command and tell her you do not want to talk to her much outside of work any more out of respect to her BF Period. What are you trying to get out of this? A conversation with her that has her simply tell you she desires to be friends? What's the story about her saying you have no dick? What was that all about? This and what flyleaf said 100%. You are wanting a scenario which is a fantasy. It's not going to happen. You either need to hit it since you're only infatuated with her, or move the hell on. Else you're going to continue to be her whooping boy who provides emotional support. That's what girlfriends are for. And that's what you're acting like, her girlfriend she can tell all her problems to and come to for advice. The person who's going to catch her when she falls. Meanwhile, your own damn friend was making moves on her as he can see her for what she is, even when drunk. Grab your package, reattach it to where it's supposed to be, and grab the situation by the horns. You will definitely end up at the bottom if you continue on this path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 QUOTE (nitetrain8601 @ Jul 9, 2011 -> 06:38 AM) This and what flyleaf said 100%. You are wanting a scenario which is a fantasy. It's not going to happen. You either need to hit it since you're only infatuated with her, or move the hell on. Else you're going to continue to be her whooping boy who provides emotional support. That's what girlfriends are for. And that's what you're acting like, her girlfriend she can tell all her problems to and come to for advice. The person who's going to catch her when she falls. Meanwhile, your own damn friend was making moves on her as he can see her for what she is, even when drunk. Grab your package, reattach it to where it's supposed to be, and grab the situation by the horns. You will definitely end up at the bottom if you continue on this path. I wonder if in every guy/girl friend relationship one party wishes it could go further. It seems that way to me. One half of the equation usually wants more. The question is: would this girl want to date you or have you as a boyfriend candidate IF she wasn't dating the other guy or are you already in the dreaded "friend" category? I think it is a bit harsh to insult the girl and call her names on here. I mean she was flirting heavily in the pool but it seems like she wasn't even close to even kissing the roommate. She grabbed his dick but that was to get him off her in a flirtatious kind of way. A good way to get out of this would be to tell her flat out: "I like you. I think you are fun to be with and are very hot. Consider calling me if you ever leave your bf." Or text it to her and see what she does to that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Joe - you are a patient man. She would have been ejected from my house far before she got into that pool. I'll try to be as clear as possible here. I met a girl through a friend at school in April and began talking to her online since she goes to a Big Ten school out of state. We talked enough to meet each other, met each other and eventually hung out a few times. She insisted I met her family so I did that and they appear to really like me. And she liked me enough to invite me to be her date at her sister's wedding. It was a fun time and I think her family liked me since I was "the ideal date for her" with regards to the impression I made on everyone and my hilariously bad white boy dance moves. She and I have texted/skyped/talked plenty, but it is extremely tough to talk to her when all we have done each day is work (which isn't too exciting). I am hoping that I can find a way to get her to open up more since I am awful at talking on the phone and do better on skype with her. My main concern is that I will get home from my internship a few days before she goes back for her senior year, have a great time in the few days we are together before she goes and then eventually we just lose the spark. Would you, if you were in my position, continue with someone long distance when she's not too keen on distance relationships (but is warming up to it) or should I let her go and just try online websites again (since bars suck for finding women)? I am willing to continue with her because I want to but my love blinders might be hiding an underlying issue from me that I am just not seeing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 QUOTE (MuckFinnesota @ Jul 9, 2011 -> 09:55 PM) Joe - you are a patient man. She would have been ejected from my house far before she got into that pool. I'll try to be as clear as possible here. I met a girl through a friend at school in April and began talking to her online since she goes to a Big Ten school out of state. We talked enough to meet each other, met each other and eventually hung out a few times. She insisted I met her family so I did that and they appear to really like me. And she liked me enough to invite me to be her date at her sister's wedding. It was a fun time and I think her family liked me since I was "the ideal date for her" with regards to the impression I made on everyone and my hilariously bad white boy dance moves. She and I have texted/skyped/talked plenty, but it is extremely tough to talk to her when all we have done each day is work (which isn't too exciting). I am hoping that I can find a way to get her to open up more since I am awful at talking on the phone and do better on skype with her. My main concern is that I will get home from my internship a few days before she goes back for her senior year, have a great time in the few days we are together before she goes and then eventually we just lose the spark. Would you, if you were in my position, continue with someone long distance when she's not too keen on distance relationships (but is warming up to it) or should I let her go and just try online websites again (since bars suck for finding women)? I am willing to continue with her because I want to but my love blinders might be hiding an underlying issue from me that I am just not seeing. Have you had any physical contact with her yet? It seems she really likes you to invite you to sis' wedding. We need more info to determine whether or not she likes you as a bf candidate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 QUOTE (greg775 @ Jul 9, 2011 -> 05:39 PM) Have you had any physical contact with her yet? It seems she really likes you to invite you to sis' wedding. We need more info to determine whether or not she likes you as a bf candidate. Yes, plenty of it. I have gotten lucky. What else do you need to know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) QUOTE (MuckFinnesota @ Jul 9, 2011 -> 11:49 PM) Yes, plenty of it. I have gotten lucky. What else do you need to know? Cool. You sir, should be dating this girl if you want to. Sounds like a go. Full speed ahead for you if you really like her. She obviously likes you. Maybe this one is fate since a friend set you up and you went to a wedding with her already. Only holdup is the long distance thing. How far away will you be from her when she goes back to school? I'd say if you like her try to make it work. School might complicate things a bit. Edited July 9, 2011 by greg775 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I would like to give it a go, since she lives 30 minutes away from me when she's home and her school is 2 1/2 hours away. My fall is likely going to be spent finding a full-time gig in my area of interest (which is hard to do since it is is PR) or a part-time job and another part-time internship so I'll probably be able to see her when I can on the weekends. She just is worried that the distance will be too much since she had a rough time with it before. In my experience it hasn't worked but at least I know what I did wrong last time (in being a jealous guy - jealous of my ex's life since my life sucked then) so I won't repeat the same mistakes but I acknowledge it will be tougher with distance than if we were together all of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 QUOTE (MuckFinnesota @ Jul 9, 2011 -> 11:59 PM) I would like to give it a go, since she lives 30 minutes away from me when she's home and her school is 2 1/2 hours away. My fall is likely going to be spent finding a full-time gig in my area of interest (which is hard to do since it is is PR) or a part-time job and another part-time internship so I'll probably be able to see her when I can on the weekends. She just is worried that the distance will be too much since she had a rough time with it before. In my experience it hasn't worked but at least I know what I did wrong last time (in being a jealous guy - jealous of my ex's life since my life sucked then) so I won't repeat the same mistakes but I acknowledge it will be tougher with distance than if we were together all of the time. Well you 2 should give it a shot. Tell her that things are going too well to not give it a shot. You guys have karma on your side since you were introduced by friends and you already have been to a family wedding. I was quizzing you before because I wondered if this was another 'friend' thing. Obviously it's not. Sounds like you have it made with a possible long term relationship here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFanForever Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 (edited) So I have a slightly strange situation. There is a girl I know and have been friends with for a few years. Up until recently it has always been Platonic despite me finding her attractive. Recently she's been hanging out more and I detected some signs of interest. Well Saturday night after quite a bit of drinking we did make out a bit before leaving a bar. The next morning she texted me apologizing and saying I'm her friend and that probably shouldn't have happened. I told her it was ok, I wasn't upset and I had enjoyed it. She then said we should hang out again. I had a slight history with her roommate but nothing really big in my mind. I'm wondering if that's a bit of a hang up. I'm confused as to what she wants and how to proceed. I asked her to get together to see a band at millennium park toning but she has work. Any thoughts on how to proceed or when to ask her to do something else? Edited July 25, 2011 by SoxFanForever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T R U Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 My girlfriend is pregnant and were going to Vegas to get married in either August or September go me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxAce Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (T R U @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 03:42 AM) My girlfriend is pregnant and were going to Vegas to get married in either August or September go me Holy...... s***. :o :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (T R U @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 03:42 AM) My girlfriend is pregnant and were going to Vegas to get married in either August or September go me Get ready for your new life buddy! Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Controlled Chaos Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (T R U @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 03:42 AM) My girlfriend is pregnant and were going to Vegas to get married in either August or September go me s***s about to get real!! Good luck and congrats!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippedoutpunk Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (T R U @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 03:42 AM) My girlfriend is pregnant and were going to Vegas to get married in either August or September go me bye bye xbox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (SoxFanForever @ Jul 25, 2011 -> 04:19 PM) So I have a slightly strange situation. There is a girl I know and have been friends with for a few years. Up until recently it has always been Platonic despite me finding her attractive. Recently she's been hanging out more and I detected some signs of interest. Well Saturday night after quite a bit of drinking we did make out a bit before leaving a bar. The next morning she texted me apologizing and saying I'm her friend and that probably shouldn't have happened. I told her it was ok, I wasn't upset and I had enjoyed it. She then said we should hang out again. I had a slight history with her roommate but nothing really big in my mind. I'm wondering if that's a bit of a hang up. I'm confused as to what she wants and how to proceed. I asked her to get together to see a band at millennium park toning but she has work. Any thoughts on how to proceed or when to ask her to do something else? Does she ever ask you to do stuff? Can always wait a few days and see if she gets in touch with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiliIrishHammock24 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (T R U @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 03:42 AM) My girlfriend is pregnant and were going to Vegas to get married in either August or September go me Woah! Well, hope it works out for ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T R U Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 07:26 AM) Get ready for your new life buddy! Congrats! Were ready for it, im pretty excited Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T R U Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (flippedoutpunk @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 08:59 AM) bye bye xbox NEVER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFanForever Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (Balta1701 @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 09:06 AM) Does she ever ask you to do stuff? Can always wait a few days and see if she gets in touch with you. Yeah she has a few time in the past. I suppose it couldn't hurt to try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 QUOTE (SoxFanForever @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 02:32 PM) Yeah she has a few time in the past. I suppose it couldn't hurt to try. I wouldn't like never speak to her again, but if you don't see her everyday anyway, may as well wait and give her the chance to respond. In a week or so, maybe less depending on how often you usually hang out, you might want to rethink that notion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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