Relationship Advice Thread

[Iwritecode]

Yeah, I don't care so much about the morality of infidelity or divorce, especially when there aren't kids involved. Once you have kids, it's overwhelmingly in the best interest of the kids (assuming one parent is not abusive or a criminal) for the parents to stay together. Making choices that lead away from that path are incredibly selfish.

 

I don't think that's always the case though. If it's a couple that simply can't stand to be in the same room with each other but they are staying together "for the kids" they are creating an incredibly uncomfortable environment.

 

Sometimes it's better for kids to have parents that are seperated but happy rather than two that are staying together but making each other and everyone around them miserable.

[witesoxfan]

Sometimes when I read your posts I think you need an opinion column where you can give other tips on being a man.

 

Something like:

 

"If you are trying to bring a girl home from a bar, but you think you drank to much. You should throw up at the bar not at your place. Because if you throw up at home and she hears it your chances of scoring have dramatically reduced."

 

Well there are other problems that arise from a situation like that. She might hear you doing that and get sick herself, but she won't have a bathroom to ralph in, so she will go on your bed or in your sink, neither of which are good options. Also, she may be into that, which makes it 1000x weirder.

 

Of course, she may be the maternal type and she will want to take care of you and hold your hair and rub your back, and then you can get snuggles that night and then you brush your teeth in the morning and get some morning sex, which is always the best by far.

[Soxbadger]

lol

 

You really do need a Dear Wite column

[Y2HH]

By the way, that 5 step post of mine was a joke. I figured #5 would give that away.

[RockRaines]

Well there are other problems that arise from a situation like that. She might hear you doing that and get sick herself, but she won't have a bathroom to ralph in, so she will go on your bed or in your sink, neither of which are good options. Also, she may be into that, which makes it 1000x weirder.

 

Of course, she may be the maternal type and she will want to take care of you and hold your hair and rub your back, and then you can get snuggles that night and then you brush your teeth in the morning and get some morning sex, which is always the best by far.

I had a girl try to secretly puke in my bathroom sink. It didnt slow me down, I just didnt kiss her face.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

He claims he's an addict and knows he needs help. I meant the way he treats girls he's a nice guy. Pretend he has no wife. I'm referring to how he is treating this one, nice dinners, giving her emotional support during her custody cases for her kids etc. Lots of guys cheat. Does that make them scum if they treat their wives and kids well? I would never cheat. Can't do it. But many can and do.

 

He is so nice that he pretends he doesn't have a wife while he cheats? LOL! How is that a good quality?

 

Lots of guys cheat, maybe, a lots of guys are scumbags. Cheating is not just "something nice guys do". He's a s***stain. If he has a problem, then he needs to give his wife the option of finding a faithful lover or allowing him to atone by seeking professional help. You don't let an addict continue to be an addict while it hurts other people.

 

I'm sorry, but your friend is a scumbag.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

Replied to the one from Sunday.

 

Excellent. Waiting for that response and not asking twice makes you look really good. I'm honestly surprised it happened, but that's great news bud!

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

By the way, that 5 step post of mine was a joke. I figured #5 would give that away.

 

Ok good, because I read most of it shaking my head and wanted to reply with something like "Yeah, so basically no one should ever be themselves, unless they are already a s*** person", but I refrained.

[iamshack]

He is so nice that he pretends he doesn't have a wife while he cheats? LOL! How is that a good quality?

 

Lots of guys cheat, maybe, a lots of guys are scumbags. Cheating is not just "something nice guys do". He's a s***stain. If he has a problem, then he needs to give his wife the option of finding a faithful lover or allowing him to atone by seeking professional help. You don't let an addict continue to be an addict while it hurts other people.

 

I'm sorry, but your friend is a scumbag.

I think generally your thoughts are on point, but I also find that the severity of this attitude is directly proportionate to opportunities to do so.

 

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

I think generally your thoughts are on point, but I also find that the severity of this attitude is directly proportionate to opportunities to do so.

 

What do you mean? Like I feel this vitriol about it because I've never put in a situation to cheat? If so, you could be right. I've never cheated because I really despise it, but I've never had a chance to cheat (probably because I don't put myself in those situations as well).

[iamshack]

What do you mean? Like I feel this vitriol about it because I've never put in a situation to cheat? If so, you could be right. I've never cheated because I really despise it, but I've never had a chance to cheat (probably because I don't put myself in those situations as well).

Yeah, or people who don't have a lot of temptation don't understand what that is like.

 

I had a very good friend when I was in my early twenties who was absolutely gorgeous. Everywhere we would go, dudes would be throwing themselves at her. Now I'm not saying her cheating was condoned, but if every time I went out I had chicks trying to f*** me, it might be a bit more of a challenge to remain faithful.

 

The key is what you pointed out; trying not to put yourself in those positions. Sometimes, however, it s unavoidable.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

Yeah, or people who don't have a lot of temptation don't understand what that is like.

 

I had a very good friend when I was in my early twenties who was absolutely gorgeous. Everywhere we would go, dudes would be throwing themselves at her. Now I'm not saying her cheating was condoned, but if every time I went out I had chicks trying to f*** me, it might be a bit more of a challenge to remain faithful.

 

The key is what you pointed out; trying not to put yourself in those positions. Sometimes, however, it s unavoidable.

 

I do actually find it somewhat more forgiveable when a woman cheats to vs. when a guy cheats. And the only reason for that is it's almost always a guy pursuing a girl. I'm not saying it doesn't happen where a girl is all over a guy, because it definitely does, but I think we can all agree it's typically a guy trying to convince a girl to sleep with him, not the other way around.

 

But either way, I find it reprehensible.

[DrunkBomber]

I would pretty much agree with this, at least regarding very hot girls in college and their early to mid 20s.

 

There are always exceptions, though. I know a guy who married a very sweet, kind girl who I'd physically rate an 8. They met at a party, she facebooked him and sent him a message saying they'd met that night, he got up the guts to ask her out. No games, exclusive dating and few years later they were married. He can't believe how he got such a perfect girl since he considers himself a 6.

 

Then there's that married guy I know who cheats on his wife.

We go to a Hooters type place one day to eat lunch (I know, pretty lame considering the food sucks) because he goes there to drink once a week and wants me to go with him for lunch. We go there and the owner comes out to talk to us and he introduces us to some employees including a waitress who is a 10. He also introduces us to a set of gorgeous twins, but anyway, my friend goes back to the place one night and the 10 talks to him and they go to another bar when she gets off work.

So he takes her out twice to great restaurants, she's all into him texting all the time. He helps her move one day. Finally they have sex. He said it was great, no hiccups there. Great sex.

Now she's not texting him at all. When she does text, the tone is not sexual like it was before. He's ready to give up on her. Now is this because he's married and she sees no future in it? They've finally had sex and that's it? Or is it because he's been very nice to her with the nice restaurants, etc? She is 25 with 2 kids and her exes treat her s***ty. He's treated her so nice, is he getting the nice-guy dump?

 

My point is I've seen people meet and there's a storybook dating experience/marriage. And there's many many more who have to play the game constantly and it frustrates them. I would think once girls hit the age of 27, 28, they change a bit if they want to get married, have kids. I do know some hot 30 year olds at work who are single and even are staying home alone on weekend nights probably because they were too picky and finally opportunities let up to meet people, except at work.

Comments?

The best part of this story is that he helped her move BEFORE they had sex.

[LittleHurt05]

The best part of this story is that he helped her move BEFORE they had sex.

 

it sounds like she was the player in this story. Two fancy dinners, helped her move and she only had to give it up once.

[Chisoxfn]

Replied to the one from Sunday.

This is after the fact, but she might just be shy and it took her a couple days to work up the courage to say yes (or she was trying to cancel something else).

[IlliniKrush]

I had a girl try to secretly puke in my bathroom sink. It didnt slow me down, I just didnt kiss her face.

Nothing worse than blowing your chance at action because you're the one that threw up. I did this once in college, making out on a balcony, told her hold on a second, threw up over the side of the balcony, bunch of my friends saw it and laughed their ass off. I was done for the night, they threw me in bed since the party was at my apartment, and kept partying for a few hours.

[greg775]

it sounds like she was the player in this story. Two fancy dinners, helped her move and she only had to give it up once.

 

That's what my friend is thinking. He got played. Cause she cut a line after they had sex saying, 'You can leave now.' He said, 'What?' And she said, "I'm joking. Isn't that what guys do nowadays?" He was kind of taken aback.

I'm not kidding you. She is a 10. I have no idea how she can have that kind of body after 2 kids, but does. She's 25 nearing 26 but perfection in the looks deptment.

 

I am probably an asshole for listening to this guy tell me his stories. I should probably just say I don't want to hear it and stress he needs help. I do love his wife and his 2 kids are the greatest little lads and laddies.

Edited August 28, 2013 by greg775

[cabiness42]

I don't think that's always the case though. If it's a couple that simply can't stand to be in the same room with each other but they are staying together "for the kids" they are creating an incredibly uncomfortable environment.

 

Sometimes it's better for kids to have parents that are seperated but happy rather than two that are staying together but making each other and everyone around them miserable.

 

Well, yes, there reaches a point where that can be the case, but the original scumbag in question did not seem to be anywhere near that point with his wife, but was routinely cheating on her anyway.

 

Also, once you've been with a person for long enough, in most cases you can make choices that determine whether or not you can stand to be in the same room with each other.

[witesoxfan]

lads and laddies.

 

Jesus what is this, 19th century Scotland?

[Reddy]

She's 25 nearing 26 but perfection in the looks deptment.

 

ah yes, because 26 is completely over the hill in terms of physical attractiveness.

[Y2HH]

ah yes, because 26 is completely over the hill in terms of physical attractiveness.

 

[greg775]

As far as puke stories, one time in college I had talked to a girl in a bar for a couple hours and decided to go for the one-night stand (OK I guess that makes me a jerk) and drove back to the girl's dorm and she puked when we got out of the car and that was that in my mind.

I actually walked her into the dorm (she didn't need to go to the hospital), unlocked her door, put her in her bed, put her blanket on her and left.

 

I heard later she was embarrassed but told people I did a nice thing in taking care of her.

[witesoxfan]

There's nothing wrong with one night stands. They might not be classy, but s***, sometimes you have needs, and she has needs, and you can help each other out. Just be careful.

 

Anyways, I think that's what any true gentleman would do in that situation. There are assholes out there who would make the girl come and clean it up the next day.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

As far as puke stories, one time in college I had talked to a girl in a bar for a couple hours and decided to go for the one-night stand (OK I guess that makes me a jerk) and drove back to the girl's dorm and she puked when we got out of the car and that was that in my mind.

I actually walked her into the dorm (she didn't need to go to the hospital), unlocked her door, put her in her bed, put her blanket on her and left.

 

I heard later she was embarrassed but told people I did a nice thing in taking care of her.

 

Having a 1-night-stand isn't jerkish if it's understood between both people.

[whitesoxfan99]

Having a 1-night-stand isn't jerkish if it's understood between both people.

 

And neither person is in a relationship.