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Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

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So way back in my 3rd year of college I met this girl and we really got on. Hitting it off, we really worked well together. I was all about her, I struggled to hide it and suppress it but eventually really "went for it" and kinda struck out. Since then we had talked every 6 months or so cause even though it wrecks me every time I just engage her anyways. I'm a glutton for punishment.

 

So my truck breaks down outside the city she moved to out west, and being the dumb ass I am I called her. She of course rushed out and we hung out for a few hours having not seen each other face to face in 3 years.

 

It was great, we picked up like right at this awesome place we were at before. She looked fantastic, she was still smart and I mean, yea, it was all still there. She went on to kinda complain about the relationship she had been in for a year or so now and I had to tell her not to go on about it, and she complied but of course it stuck with me. This girl ain't dumb, she knew what she was saying.

 

Since then all those feelings have just rushed back. I just stew on it for 11 hours by myself driving the truck. And I mean its not like I can sustain anything even if she was on board, I have to be from Burley, ID to Worcester, MA in the next 5 days. And from there who knows.

 

It just sucks, this is the one girl I ever really got beat up over. I can't help but stay in touch with her because she's so stimulating and really is one of a handful of people stands up to my bulls*** but the only one who never judged me for it. It blows, man. And the thing is next time I'm in her neck of the woods I'll call her again. I can't help it.

 

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QUOTE (DukeNukeEm @ Sep 28, 2013 -> 12:09 AM)
So way back in my 3rd year of college I met this girl and we really got on. Hitting it off, we really worked well together. I was all about her, I struggled to hide it and suppress it but eventually really "went for it" and kinda struck out. Since then we had talked every 6 months or so cause even though it wrecks me every time I just engage her anyways. I'm a glutton for punishment.

 

So my truck breaks down outside the city she moved to out west, and being the dumb ass I am I called her. She of course rushed out and we hung out for a few hours having not seen each other face to face in 3 years.

 

It was great, we picked up like right at this awesome place we were at before. She looked fantastic, she was still smart and I mean, yea, it was all still there. She went on to kinda complain about the relationship she had been in for a year or so now and I had to tell her not to go on about it, and she complied but of course it stuck with me. This girl ain't dumb, she knew what she was saying.

 

Since then all those feelings have just rushed back. I just stew on it for 11 hours by myself driving the truck. And I mean its not like I can sustain anything even if she was on board, I have to be from Burley, ID to Worcester, MA in the next 5 days. And from there who knows.

 

It just sucks, this is the one girl I ever really got beat up over. I can't help but stay in touch with her because she's so stimulating and really is one of a handful of people stands up to my bulls*** but the only one who never judged me for it. It blows, man. And the thing is next time I'm in her neck of the woods I'll call her again. I can't help it.

 

Well, she's not married. She's still on the market. It's like that old episode of "The Office" where Jim wants Pam, who is engaged to a moron. Michael Scott said to Jim, "She's not married; don't give up." It can be that simple, though distance is probably prohibiting you from standing a chance.

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QUOTE (DukeNukeEm @ Sep 27, 2013 -> 07:09 PM)
So way back in my 3rd year of college I met this girl and we really got on. Hitting it off, we really worked well together. I was all about her, I struggled to hide it and suppress it but eventually really "went for it" and kinda struck out. Since then we had talked every 6 months or so cause even though it wrecks me every time I just engage her anyways. I'm a glutton for punishment.

 

So my truck breaks down outside the city she moved to out west, and being the dumb ass I am I called her. She of course rushed out and we hung out for a few hours having not seen each other face to face in 3 years.

 

It was great, we picked up like right at this awesome place we were at before. She looked fantastic, she was still smart and I mean, yea, it was all still there. She went on to kinda complain about the relationship she had been in for a year or so now and I had to tell her not to go on about it, and she complied but of course it stuck with me. This girl ain't dumb, she knew what she was saying.

 

Since then all those feelings have just rushed back. I just stew on it for 11 hours by myself driving the truck. And I mean its not like I can sustain anything even if she was on board, I have to be from Burley, ID to Worcester, MA in the next 5 days. And from there who knows.

 

It just sucks, this is the one girl I ever really got beat up over. I can't help but stay in touch with her because she's so stimulating and really is one of a handful of people stands up to my bulls*** but the only one who never judged me for it. It blows, man. And the thing is next time I'm in her neck of the woods I'll call her again. I can't help it.

 

Is this infatuation or a legitimate crush?

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QUOTE (Soxbadger @ Sep 30, 2013 -> 12:21 PM)
Ive been kind of thinking that one of my best friends ladies is into me. There is really nothing good that can come of this. Im not even interested.

 

That is all.

 

Let everything play out. If she makes a move, it's time to shoot her down and tell your buddy. If she's willing to cheat in a situation like that and ruin two different relationships at once, she's going to be willing to cheat at any other time too.

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QUOTE (greg775 @ Sep 29, 2013 -> 08:59 PM)
Well, she's not married. She's still on the market. It's like that old episode of "The Office" where Jim wants Pam, who is engaged to a moron. Michael Scott said to Jim, "She's not married; don't give up." It can be that simple, though distance is probably prohibiting you from standing a chance.

 

are you really equating Nuke with Jim?

 

because... i can... come up with... a few... differences... (in my best awkward stewie griffin voice)

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So what's going on with you guys that had some woman drama in your lives? It's dull around here. Let's discuss.

 

Remember my friend who cheats on his wife and there was that hot Twin Peaks waitress he helped move and finally had one night of sex? Then she stopped calling him?

 

Turns out she (25) is dating some 45-year-old guy and he takes her on trips all the time. She still texts my married friend but has not mentioned this 45-year-old guy. He discovered it on Facebook.

I finally told him I felt dirty giving him advice cause I really like his wife and kids so I hope he doesn't ask me any more about the 25 year old. He said he's just happy he got to f*** her once at least. She really is amazingly hot.

 

Any stories out there??

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Alright guys I might need some help with this one here.

 

So I've been dating this girl for over two years now and things have always been pretty good with us despite a few rocky moments here or there but for the most part we've always been happy together. She lets me be myself and do my thing and vice versa. So she is ~3 years younger than myself and finishing her last year in school but we've made it work for the past year with her being 6 hours away but recently we've started to argue wayyyy too much and it's always stupid bulls*** stuff that turns into much bigger picture problems.

 

For example, this coming weekend she will be home along with another one of my buddies so I made plans with the buddy and some other guys to play golf this Saturday since this is the only time he will be home until thanksgiving. She knew about this and was okay with it since I will be spending most of the other time with her anyways. But then she asks me if I really have to golf on Saturday because she wants to go to an open casting call for "the Amazing Race" in the city on Saturday. So I come back with the fact that I've had these plans for a while now and she says I do that all the time anyway and this is her dream to be on this show yada yada. I pretty much give her the no, and shes like well I'll find someone else to do it with me, which I'm okay with. But ultimately this turns into the whole I'm worried about our future because you aren't supporting my dreams and I feel like I come in second place to your friends.

 

Now she is just 21 going on 22 but has always wanted to be done having kids by the time she's 30 which I've told her there's no way thats happening because I'm very set on not being married before I'm 30, I'm 24 now. She feels like waiting that long she will just be an older mother and she wants to be the young hip mom which I told her she will regret much later in her life. I know that there's so much I want to do before I ever have kids or get married but I've made it known I want her along with all of that stuff. I want to travel, own my own business, be financially sound and all that stuff before I ever start settling down with married life or starting a family. But she's starting to feel that maybe its time to move on because that's not how her life plan is going to work. I've said multiple times that it's way to early in her life to start making these decisions and we just need to take it as it comes and let life happen. Especially with her not being finished with school or having a job lined up. But am I holding her back? Is it best for me to just let it go and stop fighting the early marriage/kids fight? We're in love, I know she could be the one and I don't want to lose her but is it possibly the right decision to just let it go? It's started to come up more and more and it's not helping with the distance. Let me know what you guys think, Thanks!

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Yep, I agree. These relationships are the worst to end because it's not as if there's anything really between you two other than being at different points and wanting different things in life. It sucked for me when I did it but it was the best thing for me because I look back and I know I'd be terribly unhappy had I stuck with it.

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Yeah she's acting like a young woman for sure. It sucks because of the time invested and she'll probably try to make you feel guilty for pulling the trigger and breaking it off. Like most people are saying, it'll be the best for the both of you.

 

This may not be the best thing to say but you're young and women come to their senses around that 30 range anyway.

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QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Oct 7, 2013 -> 11:39 AM)
Yeah she's acting like a young woman for sure. It sucks because of the time invested and she'll probably try to make you feel guilty for pulling the trigger and breaking it off. Like most people are saying, it'll be the best for the both of you.

 

This may not be the best thing to say but you're young and women come to their senses around that 30 range anyway.

The need for attention etc is a hallmark of a young woman who isnt ready for what you want.

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I think you guys are being a bit hard on the lady...she wants to be on the Amazing Race...this isn't the Real World or something where she's going to be drilling other dudes on the show.

 

I sort of side with her...he's been dating her for 2 years. Sure, they are young, but he's effectively saying he wants her to date him for like 8-10 years before they get married and settle down. A LOT of women are going to balk at that suggestion, especially in year 2. Some you can string along forever, but if you flat out tell them after 2 years that you might be willing to marry her 6 years later, I think most of them are going to be like "umm, no."

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Oct 7, 2013 -> 12:23 PM)
I think you guys are being a bit hard on the lady...she wants to be on the Amazing Race...this isn't the Real World or something where she's going to be drilling other dudes on the show.

 

I sort of side with her...he's been dating her for 2 years. Sure, they are young, but he's effectively saying he wants her to date him for like 8-10 years before they get married and settle down. A LOT of women are going to balk at that suggestion, especially in year 2. Some you can string along forever, but if you flat out tell them after 2 years that you might be willing to marry her 6 years later, I think most of them are going to be like "umm, no."

 

I think a life long dream of being on the Amazing Race is a bit much, but I have no problem with what she wants or desires. I just think they are in different spots in their life and it's pretty much unreconciable differences.

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QUOTE (witesoxfan @ Oct 7, 2013 -> 10:26 AM)
I think a life long dream of being on the Amazing Race is a bit much, but I have no problem with what she wants or desires. I just think they are in different spots in their life and it's pretty much unreconciable differences.

I'm sure she was being a bit dramatic for argument's sake.

 

But I don't disagree in re: their differences. Just think it's a bit harsh to pin it on her.

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Oct 7, 2013 -> 12:37 PM)
I'm sure she was being a bit dramatic for argument's sake.

 

But I don't disagree in re: their differences. Just think it's a bit harsh to pin it on her.

 

As I alluded to earlier, sometimes these are the toughest to end too because you don't view "different places" as a legitimate reason to end a relationship because everything else feels and seems fine. In reality, you will need the separation and, as time moves on, you come to realize how much better off you actually are seeking someone else with similar goals, timelines, and interests.

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QUOTE (witesoxfan @ Oct 7, 2013 -> 02:09 PM)
As I alluded to earlier, sometimes these are the toughest to end too because you don't view "different places" as a legitimate reason to end a relationship because everything else feels and seems fine. In reality, you will need the separation and, as time moves on, you come to realize how much better off you actually are seeking someone else with similar goals, timelines, and interests.

Yep, instead of forcing a round peg into a square hole because of comfort with that person.

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