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Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

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QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 05:00 PM)
We've been together almost 2 years now. I can see her getting complacent. I'm not a picky guy when it comes to how women dress or use make up (that's their prerogative). Hell, I don't care about her grooming habits either. I don't expect her to be a super model, but to just be in moderate shape would be suffice. She's gotten bigger and I'm just thinking to myself why does she think this is OK? I try to be passive aggressive by getting on the scale, showing her how my clothes barely fit anymore and stating how good it feels.

 

Getting into shape too has caused my mind to wander since I see fit and hot women at the gym.

 

She's got to know you are going to dump her over weight. If you are getting in shape and she's getting bigger, she's toast and she probably knows it. You are not married. You can dump her and move on for whatever reason you want.

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b****es be crazy. So girl I've been seeing for close to a month now (so obviously not serious but potentially seems to be heading in that direction) tells me last night that she is scared about how fast the relationship is moving and is kind of freaked out and wants to try to take things slower. Not exactly what I wanted to hear but I kind of get it because we have been hanging out a ton despite not knowing each other very long. However, when we hung out on Saturday she was the one who asked me to come over to her place to watch a movie on Sunday night and we also have plans on Thursday (at her suggestion) for her to come to my place to cook dinner. So yeah, have no idea what to do with that one.

Edited by whitesoxfan99
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QUOTE (whitesoxfan99 @ Dec 16, 2013 -> 03:03 PM)
b****es be crazy. So girl I've been seeing for close to a month now (so obviously not serious but potentially seems to be heading in that direction) tells me last night that she is scared about how fast the relationship is moving and is kind of freaked out and wants to try to take things slower. Not exactly what I wanted to hear but I kind of get it because we have been hanging out a ton despite not knowing each other very long. However, when we hung out on Saturday she was the one who asked me to come over to her place to watch a movie on Sunday night and we also have plans on Thursday (at her suggestion) for her to come to my place to cook dinner. So yeah, have no idea what to do with that one.

Keep thrusting until she tells you to stop.

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b****es be crazy. So girl I've been seeing for close to a month now (so obviously not serious but potentially seems to be heading in that direction) tells me last night that she is scared about how fast the relationship is moving and is kind of freaked out and wants to try to take things slower. Not exactly what I wanted to hear but I kind of get it because we have been hanging out a ton despite not knowing each other very long. However, when we hung out on Saturday she was the one who asked me to come over to her place to watch a movie on Sunday night and we also have plans on Thursday (at her suggestion) for her to come to my place to cook dinner. So yeah, have no idea what to do with that one.

Her girlfriends are talking s*** about you. Do you know her friends at all? If not, they don't like you. If you have, and found out they are single, they don't like you. If I were you I'd hold the course and then try to stick in the pooper when the time is right. If she let's you, cool. If not, problems are on the horizon.

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QUOTE (whitesoxfan99 @ Dec 16, 2013 -> 04:03 PM)
b****es be crazy. So girl I've been seeing for close to a month now (so obviously not serious but potentially seems to be heading in that direction) tells me last night that she is scared about how fast the relationship is moving and is kind of freaked out and wants to try to take things slower. Not exactly what I wanted to hear but I kind of get it because we have been hanging out a ton despite not knowing each other very long. However, when we hung out on Saturday she was the one who asked me to come over to her place to watch a movie on Sunday night and we also have plans on Thursday (at her suggestion) for her to come to my place to cook dinner. So yeah, have no idea what to do with that one.

She wants to be friends. Get to know you without physical stuff.

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  • 2 months later...
QUOTE (Brian @ Mar 15, 2014 -> 03:55 PM)
Girl at the gym I have a crush on, found out yesterday she has a 1.5 year old daughter.

 

Does it make me an ass that my first thought was, "Aw man."?

That'd be my first thought as well, but I'm an asshole. :P

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QUOTE (Rowand44 @ Mar 15, 2014 -> 04:59 PM)
That'd be my first thought as well, but I'm an asshole. :P

 

I don't want to be an asshole but that baggage is something I'm not sure I could deal with. Now I feel like an asshole because her daughter is cute and didn't do anything wrong.

I'm a softy.

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QUOTE (Brian @ Mar 15, 2014 -> 06:24 PM)
I don't want to be an asshole but that baggage is something I'm not sure I could deal with. Now I feel like an asshole because her daughter is cute and didn't do anything wrong.

I'm a softy.

I figured you meant she was married.

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QUOTE (whitesoxfan99 @ Dec 16, 2013 -> 09:03 PM)
b****es be crazy. So girl I've been seeing for close to a month now (so obviously not serious but potentially seems to be heading in that direction) tells me last night that she is scared about how fast the relationship is moving and is kind of freaked out and wants to try to take things slower. Not exactly what I wanted to hear but I kind of get it because we have been hanging out a ton despite not knowing each other very long. However, when we hung out on Saturday she was the one who asked me to come over to her place to watch a movie on Sunday night and we also have plans on Thursday (at her suggestion) for her to come to my place to cook dinner. So yeah, have no idea what to do with that one.

 

Just tell her you agree with her if she mentions it going too fast again.

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Girl at the gym I have a crush on, found out yesterday she has a 1.5 year old daughter.

 

Does it make me an ass that my first thought was, "Aw man."?

 

No, unless the father is 100% out of the picture, the potential of becoming a stepparent creates a real mess. I've been through it as a child, and it made me 100% certain that I am not going to go through it as a parent. I'm not saying that this needs to be the position of everybody, but I feel that it is justified.

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QUOTE (HickoryHuskers @ Mar 16, 2014 -> 04:29 PM)
No, unless the father is 100% out of the picture, the potential of becoming a stepparent creates a real mess. I've been through it as a child, and it made me 100% certain that I am not going to go through it as a parent. I'm not saying that this needs to be the position of everybody, but I feel that it is justified.

 

Yeah if the dad is totally out of the picture, at least the age of the child is conducive to pleasant experiences. She's only 1.5 so she's not going to yell, "Shut up; you are not my daddy!" She'll just be a nice cute little kid who treats you with respect, etc., as she grows up. Now if there's some asshole dad in the picture, not good.

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QUOTE (Brian @ Mar 15, 2014 -> 03:55 PM)
Girl at the gym I have a crush on, found out yesterday she has a 1.5 year old daughter.

 

Does it make me an ass that my first thought was, "Aw man."?

 

I don't think it makes you a jerk at all. It's totally your choice. Getting involved with her means you're involved with her child too and that's a huge step. Pardon the pun with step, haha.

 

I've felt exactly how you feel, but being a single father it'd be extremely hypocritical of myself to still have the same view. But I know I subliminally do have the mindset of not wanting to date someone with a daughter. And it's partially because of my own situation I guess. Just would rather focus on one child, and that's my own for now. But I will say for whoever the next person I date, the #1 priority for me is "will she be a good role model for my current 14 month old daughter." It's definitely not fair to whoever she is, just like it's not fair for you either, but I guess it comes with the territory. Only you can make that choice! And who knows, if you do end up getting serious with this lady, her daughter may end up stealing your heart.

 

I don't know what the current father situation is with this lady, whether he's a proactive father or a dead beat dad, or somewhere in the middle. But if he's definitely unstable, having some sort of stability from a male would be a great for the child. But as I'm sure you know, there's always a chance for the mother to give the father another chance, which usually don't end well anyway. So just be on the lookout!

 

If you do get involved I expect you to make her a Wolverine fan!

Edited by WilliamTell
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  • 8 months later...
QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 16, 2014 -> 04:39 PM)
General rule of thumb is to stay away from work relationships, right?

 

Oh yeah. Unless it is one of the few that end up in marriage. Otherwise it always ends messy and makes the job a completely miserable place to be.

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