Relationship Advice Thread

[shipps]

I would recommend living together to any couple who are thinking about getting married someday.

 

Thats actually good to hear, thanks Ken.

[Kyyle23]

Thats actually good to hear, thanks Ken.

 

i agree with Critic. if you guys cant live together before gettnig married, then you will know that you cannot get married. Its always risky, but you need to know each others boundaries

[shipps]

i agree with Critic. if you guys cant live together before gettnig married, then you will know that you cannot get married. Its always risky, but you need to know each others boundaries

 

The thing is, we practically live together now. Im never home and I am always at her house. Its wasting money paying rent and that is money I can be saving so we have a nice chunck of money in a account for when we do get married. It makes a lot of financial sense for our future.

[Kyyle23]

The thing is, we practically live together now. Im never home and I am always at her house. Its wasting money paying rent and that is money I can be saving so we have a nice chunck of money in a account for when we do get married. It makes a lot of financial sense for our future.

 

 

haha, bunking is not the same as living with each other

[Controlled Chaos]

The worse you treat a woman the more she'll want you. Nice guys finish last, always. This doesn't mean you have the green light to smack the s*** out of her. It's a very fine line that should only be walked by an experienced ***hole. This is helpful for the next time. You won't be able to pull it off now because she knows you too well. Being an ***hole won't come off as natural at this point, it will seem forced and backfire on you. For now, be the rebound guy. Be the shoulder she can cry on and once the moment is right, take full advantage of the situation. At this point you're just trying to get whatever you can.

meh....yes and no. But this does go back to the simple point of if a girl likes you...she likes you, even if you're an asshole. But being an asshole isn't really the way to go, as much as just being confident and not easy. Women like a bit of a challenge. So if she likes you and you're kind of oblivious to that and just go on your normal way...she will like you even more. For some guys it just comes natural, for others they have to force themselves to be a little, less energetic about the situation. Most men can't do this...cause just the thought of getting sum, instantly turns them into a sycophantic tool with a preferred card at the closest flower and candy store. Chill out, if she likes you...she liked you as you...not the pushover you think you need to become.

Edited February 10, 2010 by Controlled Chaos

[shipps]

haha, bunking is not the same as living with each other

 

yeah I am afraid it might be asking for some tension that doesnt have to be there. But like you guys said it will be a good test to whether we should be getting married or not.

[Balta1701]

yeah I am afraid it might be asking for some tension that doesnt have to be there. But like you guys said it will be a good test to whether we should be getting married or not.

If its there, that tension will happen eventually no matter what.

 

[The Critic]

If its there, that tension will happen eventually no matter what.

and it's better to know before you SIGN THAT PAPER!!!

 

[The Beast]

So let me get this straight. Hypothetically, I approach girl A at the bar and say "Hi, my name is Ross" and start up a conversation. When do you stop being nice and start being arrogant or rude to get said girl A to chase after you? Naturally, I would want to know what they are studying and what they are into with their life instead of just what they are doing later on and what they are drinking at the moment. When are we supposed to go up and after the initial point of contact start being a dick? Do we need to play hard to get as well? I'm not an arrogant and cocky guy and bars/clubs aren't really my scene, but I would like to succeed in this given situation, that's for sure. Enlighten me about nice guys "finishing last" and how those nice guys might want to approach those situations.

[The Critic]

So let me get this straight. Hypothetically, I approach girl A at the bar and say "Hi, my name is Ross" and start up a conversation. When do you stop being nice and start being arrogant or rude to get said girl A to chase after you? Naturally, I would want to know what they are studying and what they are into with their life instead of just what they are doing later on and what they are drinking at the moment. When are we supposed to go up and after the initial point of contact start being a dick? Do we need to play hard to get as well? I'm not an arrogant and cocky guy and bars/clubs aren't really my scene, but I would like to succeed in this given situation, that's for sure. Enlighten me about nice guys "finishing last" and how those nice guys might want to approach those situations.

 

You say "Hi, my name is Ross....b****....and I know you want it!"

...or is that too soon???

[Tuna]

So let me get this straight. Hypothetically, I approach girl A at the bar and say "Hi, my name is Ross" and start up a conversation. When do you stop being nice and start being arrogant or rude to get said girl A to chase after you? Naturally, I would want to know what they are studying and what they are into with their life instead of just what they are doing later on and what they are drinking at the moment. When are we supposed to go up and after the initial point of contact start being a dick? Do we need to play hard to get as well? I'm not an arrogant and cocky guy and bars/clubs aren't really my scene, but I would like to succeed in this given situation, that's for sure. Enlighten me about nice guys "finishing last" and how those nice guys might want to approach those situations.

 

The thing you have to keep in mind is that you can't make it seem like you're going out of your way to be an ***hole. In your hypothetical situation it should go like this...

 

Girl A is at the bar. you walk up. "bartender, can I get another one of what she's having" The bartender hands you the drink and you slide it over to her friend (girl B ) and walk away.

 

I haven't had much success with that approach so I'll give you one that I have had success with.

 

 

Girl A is at the bar. you walk up. "bartender, can I get another one of what she's having and a miller lite", give her the drink. find out her name and hang out with her a bit. I've had the most success "people watching", making fun of people in the bar. Nobody criticizes people like women do, they love it. The point is to get her laughing. She will see that you can be an ***hole but she'll keep talking to you because it's not directed at her. The first night isn't so much about being an ***hole as it is showing her your sense of humor. You want to show her a good time the first night. After that you wait 2 or 3 days before talking to her again, the ***hole in you should be natural. You're in no hurry to make plans and the general attitude is "whatever". An important note is that you don't want to be an ***hole everyday. You have to show her flashes of that guy she had fun with at the bar. It's a fine line that will take a lot of practice to master.

Edited February 10, 2010 by chwhtsox

[Tuna]

Honestly, I've found the best way to get in well with girls is to have some friends who are girls. The easiest thing is to be nice to your buddies' girlfriends, and they will pass this on to their friends. I'd have to say the vast majority of my girlfriends were picked up this way.

 

ahhh the referral method...I like it.

 

[Tuna]

The OJ avatar next to this post is a nice touch.

 

it was a toss up between OJ and my boy Tiger.

Edited February 10, 2010 by chwhtsox

[Controlled Chaos]

I can point out at least one instance in my life where just being mean/ignoring a girl, who initially shut me down, worked. You can't paint with such a broad brush.

I never said it doesn't work...I just wouldn't go that route. If you like a girl...why would you want to be mean to her? As for ignoring...or acting oblivious to her, I agree it works.

 

I think you can paint this wall of women with a broad brush, even a roller, but when it comes to painting the corners you'll need a plethora of brushes to get the job done. The chicks hanging at the edges are all over the place.

[Kyyle23]

So let me get this straight. Hypothetically, I approach girl A at the bar and say "Hi, my name is Ross" and start up a conversation. When do you stop being nice and start being arrogant or rude to get said girl A to chase after you? Naturally, I would want to know what they are studying and what they are into with their life instead of just what they are doing later on and what they are drinking at the moment. When are we supposed to go up and after the initial point of contact start being a dick? Do we need to play hard to get as well? I'm not an arrogant and cocky guy and bars/clubs aren't really my scene, but I would like to succeed in this given situation, that's for sure. Enlighten me about nice guys "finishing last" and how those nice guys might want to approach those situations.

 

You are taking the conversation prior out of context Ross. The "play hard to get/be an ass" scenario was discussed about guys who already had established friend relationships with girls and were unsure about their standing with those girls.

 

 

If you want to walk up and be a prick right off the bat at a bar, prepare to wipe a few drinks off your face.

[Chisoxfn]

The worse you treat a woman the more she'll want you. Nice guys finish last, always. This doesn't mean you have the green light to smack the s*** out of her. It's a very fine line that should only be walked by an experienced ***hole. This is helpful for the next time. You won't be able to pull it off now because she knows you too well. Being an ***hole won't come off as natural at this point, it will seem forced and backfire on you. For now, be the rebound guy. Be the shoulder she can cry on and once the moment is right, take full advantage of the situation. At this point you're just trying to get whatever you can.

You are full of crap. Spitting out theortical lines from TV shows. It don't work that way in the real world. No, you don't have to be ridiculously nice (or fake nice) but if you are a total dick you are probably getting with some pretty ridiculous chicks anyway. Ones that I'd have little interest in being with.

[Chisoxfn]

I think I am moving in with my girlfriend...this can totally blow up in my face but I guess we have to just take chances in life sometimes.

To Mario's or her place?

[Tuna]

You are full of crap. Spitting out theortical lines from TV shows. It don't work that way in the real world. No, you don't have to be ridiculously nice (or fake nice) but if you are a total dick you are probably getting with some pretty ridiculous chicks anyway. Ones that I'd have little interest in being with.

 

first off, read what I said. nowhere in my post did I say to be a "total dick". second, if it was on a tv show I missed it. third, don't tell me what will work in the real world unless you've tried it and failed.

Edited February 10, 2010 by chwhtsox

[Chisoxfn]

haha, bunking is not the same as living with each other

It isn't, but it is also a good sign that things should go smoothly once you move in together. There will be growing pains at times since you no longer have your own place to go to just be by yourself but at the same time if you are spending as much time with each other as I hear you are, it shouldn't be a huge change.

 

Congrats Shipps!!!

[Chisoxfn]

yeah I am afraid it might be asking for some tension that doesnt have to be there. But like you guys said it will be a good test to whether we should be getting married or not.

Who offered up the idea or did it come up mutually?

[Chisoxfn]

The thing you have to keep in mind is that you can't make it seem like you're going out of your way to be an ***hole. In your hypothetical situation it should go like this...

 

Girl A is at the bar. you walk up. "bartender, can I get another one of what she's having" The bartender hands you the drink and you slide it over to her friend (girl B ) and walk away.

 

I haven't had much success with that approach so I'll give you one that I have had success with.

 

 

Girl A is at the bar. you walk up. "bartender, can I get another one of what she's having and a miller lite", give her the drink. find out her name and hang out with her a bit. I've had the most success "people watching", making fun of people in the bar. Nobody criticizes people like women do, they love it. The point is to get her laughing. She will see that you can be an ***hole but she'll keep talking to you because it's not directed at her. The first night isn't so much about being an ***hole as it is showing her your sense of humor. You want to show her a good time the first night. After that you wait 2 or 3 days before talking to her again, the ***hole in you should be natural. You're in no hurry to make plans and the general attitude is "whatever". An important note is that you don't want to be an ***hole everyday. You have to show her flashes of that guy she had fun with at the bar. It's a fine line that will take a lot of practice to master.

To clarify, that isn't really being an Ahole. And I do think that approach would come off strong in a bar/club. You appear confident and funny, two things a girl loves.

[Tuna]

To clarify, that isn't really being an Ahole. And I do think that approach would come off strong in a bar/club. You appear confident and funny, two things a girl loves.

 

 

it's open to interpretation, when you don't call her back and blow her off, every one of her friends will refer to you as an Ahole.

[shipps]

To Mario's or her place?

 

Her place of course. lol

 

Who offered up the idea or did it come up mutually?

 

She had been mentioning it but I was thinking it cause it makes better sense all the way around.

[kapkomet]

I think there's some people in here that are going to get their testacles squeezed in a vice and then won't be talking s*** like they are now... but carry on like you own the world.

 

[lostfan]

I would recommend living together to any couple who are thinking about getting married someday.

^^I love my wife but living with her is really annoying at times. Some stuff I know can't be helped, like how I burn through toilet paper 5x as fast because there are 2 females in the house, other stuff not so much, like... well too many to mention, a bunch of small s*** that drives me crazy.