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Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

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QUOTE (RockRaines @ Jan 20, 2015 -> 05:29 PM)
In Chicago?

 

Takeda, Abbot, Abbvie, Astellas?

 

 

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Jan 21, 2015 -> 01:36 PM)
No to all of the above.

Baxter? That's the last big one that I know of. And man Astellas wasn't like that at all when I was there, of course I was in their IT department and that's always barren...

 

 

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QUOTE (bigruss22 @ Jan 21, 2015 -> 01:51 PM)
Baxter? That's the last big one that I know of. And man Astellas wasn't like that at all when I was there, of course I was in their IT department and that's always barren...

LOL, leave it to me to only list my customers when trying to list all pharma. Forgot about those guys.

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QUOTE (Brian @ Jan 20, 2015 -> 02:04 AM)
So the past few months, Ive become close friends to a girl at the club I work at. She started going out with our group when he would hang out and we have a lot in common.

I started having feelings for but she's married with 2 kids. She's only 36, a year older than me. Awhile ago she started texting me about how her marriage was probably ending because they just didn't get along. We text a lot and have a lot in common. She recently moved out and got her own townhouse.

We've gone out to lunch a few times but I respect her boundaries right now. I think she sensed that I was rather fond of her so we started talking about us.

She said that she has feelings me but doesn't feel ready to date anyone right now. I told her that I assumed she wouldn't until her divorce was final and maybe longer than that.

She then said that if we ever started dating than she would have to be honest with me about something and I may not like her when she tells me.

Turns out one of the reasons she is getting divorced is because she cheated on her husband with my buddy I work with.

I was taken back but she said the usual stuff how it was a mistake, blah blah, and how she hated my buddy because she wasn't the only married woman he had slept with from the club.

He has a gf for the last few years, is sort of a player, but never thought he would go as far as to sleep with married women.

He doesn't know I know and in the past I've talked about her to him. She told me to stop doing that, and for good reason.

I'm trying to be understanding about that, it's not like she cheated on me, but it's just awkward.

 

I think by the time she's ready to start dating, I'll probably be over it. I've been friends with guy from work for 9'years and have lost respect for him a bit, but still like hanging out with him.

 

Sorry for the long story.

 

Sleep with her once if you want, but that's it. You are asking for a rotten life if you take it any farther than that with her. She is trouble.

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QUOTE (raBBit @ Jan 27, 2015 -> 01:04 PM)
Alright so I am a server at a restaurant. It's a food and brew that's essentially a better version of Friday's, Chili's, etc. Kind of like the Cheesecake Factory. I have been there for three and a half years now and I've basically seen the operation fall to the wayside. It's a corporate restaurant and we've become one of the worst performers company-wide. Favoritism, inept management, losing goods servers & not replacing them, not holding people accountable, etc - all the usual restaurant bulls***. However, it's five minutes away from my house, the money's good relatively speaking, I like the people that work there and my managers take care of me. I only work like three shifts a week and none of them are with the GM who's the problem so I am really removed from the drama and would prefer it to stay that way.

 

Anyways, everything has gotten very relaxed because of the atmosphere the GM sets. I am sure others here have worked at restaurants and can attest for me when I say the kitchen is almost entirely Mexican. Which is great. These guys are much less emotional than the front of house people and they always get their jobs done despite messing around a bit. So when in back of house everyone is always goofing off, smacking each other on the ass, throwing stuff, calling each other gay and other insults in Spanish. For instance, I am white (shocker) and skinny so my name is "flaco gringo" which translates to "skinny white person derogatory term." Most of the time everyone back there calls each other "puto" and "hoto" which is "gay" and "b****." So there's definitely a culture back there.

 

One of the guys who works in the kitchen has worked there for like 2 years and the first year he was "Dan" and then he mysteriously started going by a traditional Spanish name - I'll say Juan just for privacy. You can read between the lines there. Another kid, who I'll call Mike, is a server and got hired right around when I did but is kind of a bad apple. He has a group of friends but a lot of people hated him. I just kept it cool with him but really wasn't a fan. Juan was one of the people who hates Mike. Mike happened to be on "last chance agreement" for multiple infractions due to his attitude and big mouth.

 

So a couple days ago, Mike calls Juan a "f***ing Mexican" in the back and Juan rats him out to the temporary manager and Mike got fired. So now Mike is super upset, claims he didn't do anything wrong (which he obviously did even considering the culture) and he refuses to go down alone. First, he threatened HR and told them he was going to call EEO on Juan. Now he's trying to band a bunch of people together to call HR and bring down our GM. I would absolutely love it if my GM left because he is really lazy, unnecessarily condescending and sucks at his job. I think it's super cold that he's trying to get Juan deported but I, as well as the rest of the restaurant, could really benefit if they fired the GM. However, the GM has three kids including a baby boy who's two months old and he is building a house. So while I would prefer he got fired I am troubled with the fact that he has a young family. It's really just a pain in the ass but as one of my GM's biggest critics, I am expect to step up and talk to HR but I am really not interested. It's not a big problem but I'd rather not have to deal with this, haha.

 

So where is the relationship?

 

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QUOTE (raBBit @ Jan 27, 2015 -> 01:04 PM)
Alright so I am a server at a restaurant. It's a food and brew that's essentially a better version of Friday's, Chili's, etc. Kind of like the Cheesecake Factory. I have been there for three and a half years now and I've basically seen the operation fall to the wayside. It's a corporate restaurant and we've become one of the worst performers company-wide. Favoritism, inept management, losing goods servers & not replacing them, not holding people accountable, etc - all the usual restaurant bulls***. However, it's five minutes away from my house, the money's good relatively speaking, I like the people that work there and my managers take care of me. I only work like three shifts a week and none of them are with the GM who's the problem so I am really removed from the drama and would prefer it to stay that way.

 

Anyways, everything has gotten very relaxed because of the atmosphere the GM sets. I am sure others here have worked at restaurants and can attest for me when I say the kitchen is almost entirely Mexican. Which is great. These guys are much less emotional than the front of house people and they always get their jobs done despite messing around a bit. So when in back of house everyone is always goofing off, smacking each other on the ass, throwing stuff, calling each other gay and other insults in Spanish. For instance, I am white (shocker) and skinny so my name is "flaco gringo" which translates to "skinny white person derogatory term." Most of the time everyone back there calls each other "puto" and "hoto" which is "gay" and "b****." So there's definitely a culture back there.

 

One of the guys who works in the kitchen has worked there for like 2 years and the first year he was "Dan" and then he mysteriously started going by a traditional Spanish name - I'll say Juan just for privacy. You can read between the lines there. Another kid, who I'll call Mike, is a server and got hired right around when I did but is kind of a bad apple. He has a group of friends but a lot of people hated him. I just kept it cool with him but really wasn't a fan. Juan was one of the people who hates Mike. Mike happened to be on "last chance agreement" for multiple infractions due to his attitude and big mouth.

 

So a couple days ago, Mike calls Juan a "f***ing Mexican" in the back and Juan rats him out to the temporary manager and Mike got fired. So now Mike is super upset, claims he didn't do anything wrong (which he obviously did even considering the culture) and he refuses to go down alone. First, he threatened HR and told them he was going to call EEO on Juan. Now he's trying to band a bunch of people together to call HR and bring down our GM. I would absolutely love it if my GM left because he is really lazy, unnecessarily condescending and sucks at his job. I think it's super cold that he's trying to get Juan deported but I, as well as the rest of the restaurant, could really benefit if they fired the GM. However, the GM has three kids including a baby boy who's two months old and he is building a house. So while I would prefer he got fired I am troubled with the fact that he has a young family. It's really just a pain in the ass but as one of my GM's biggest critics, I am expect to step up and talk to HR but I am really not interested. It's not a big problem but I'd rather not have to deal with this, haha.

 

This is like a reality tv show.

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Well on a serious note:

 

I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend in March in Chicago and I need some help/advice. I have posted a couple times in the past but with no luck so I am hoping this thread is the place for this.

 

I am wanting to get a photographer to be there and take pictures of it happening and some afterwards. I am not wanting a professional photographer who wants to charge $350+ for just an hour at most. I am looking for more of someone who does photography as a hobby or side job who would like to make some money and help me out. Does anyone know anybody that would fit that description? I really don't want to just hand some random person my camera and tell them the situation and trust them getting pictures. I would rather pay someone $50-$100 to be there and get some good pictures. IF you know someone I can contact or any advice on this please send me a PM. I have been searching for a few months now and haven't had much luck.

 

Also, I have been trying to think of something I can do to make it more special and not just going to the place I want to do and proposing. I was thinking of maybe a limo or something to take us around Chicago and see places we haven't been to yet. Any good limo services that are affordable for 2-3 hours?

 

Any other suggestions would be very helpful. I can't fall asleep at night anymore because I am thinking about this so much. I am not good at being creative.

 

PS: I am not from Chicago for those of you that don't know that.

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Do you really want a photographer there for that? You are going to have so many moments captured on film for the upcoming months and your future lives that moment should just be for you and your future wife to remember in my opinion.

 

Congrats btw :cheers

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QUOTE (shipps @ Jan 29, 2015 -> 05:06 PM)
Do you really want a photographer there for that? You are going to have so many moments captured on film for the upcoming months and your future lives that moment should just be for you and your future wife to remember in my opinion.

 

Congrats btw :cheers

 

I would be fine with none but she has told me the past couple years she wanted someone there to take pictures of it happening. I don't know why but it is what she wants.

 

Thank you

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QUOTE (Steve9347 @ Jan 29, 2015 -> 07:58 PM)
8 month pregnant women. They tend to get pissed about dumb s***.

 

Well you should know that if you think it was dumb s*** you are the number one asshole involved in the situation and will loose this battle for sure. You are the dumb s***. Congratulations.

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