Relationship Advice Thread

[Rowand44]

Is there a study done on why certain ethnicities find it necessary to split their bill 8 ways when dining with a group of 8 people?

I'd assume that's more of an age thing than an ethnicity thing.

[RockRaines]

I'd assume that's more of an age thing than an ethnicity thing.

Surprisingly ive seen both use cases.

 

Also sending back food seems to be one as well.

[StrangeSox]

But unless they're regular customers, how do you know what their "regular" tip is? Is 18% their standard, or is it 15% and they think you did a good job? Did they come in in a good mood and have a couple of drinks so they're tipping a little higher? Did they have a bad week and the food wasn't cooked how they liked it so the server gets the brunt of that? Or was the bigger tip just because you drew a smiley face on the check or forecasted good weather?

 

I don't doubt that better servers will, over time, get better tips then average or poor servers, but those couple of articles I posted by the guy who experimented with a tipless restaurant offered some insight into that. Maybe he's generalizing from a small group, but his thoughts were that the good servers are focused on doing their jobs and providing good service and that the last thing on their minds during a busy shift is how much each table tipped them and trying to figure out why they were tipped x% whereas the crappier servers would be focused on that. He also talks about the tensions that tip payouts can create between the waitstaff and the kitchen staff. His Part 3 covers his thoughts on how tipping actually incentivizes worse service over upselling or increasing turnover.

[RockRaines]

But unless they're regular customers, how do you know what their "regular" tip is? Is 18% their standard, or is it 15% and they think you did a good job? Did they come in in a good mood and have a couple of drinks so they're tipping a little higher? Did they have a bad week and the food wasn't cooked how they liked it so the server gets the brunt of that? Or was the bigger tip just because you drew a smiley face on the check or forecasted good weather?

 

I don't doubt that better servers will, over time, get better tips then average or poor servers, but those couple of articles I posted by the guy who experimented with a tipless restaurant offered some insight into that. Maybe he's generalizing from a small group, but his thoughts were that the good servers are focused on doing their jobs and providing good service and that the last thing on their minds during a busy shift is how much each table tipped them and trying to figure out why they were tipped x% whereas the crappier servers would be focused on that. He also talks about the tensions that tip payouts can create between the waitstaff and the kitchen staff. His Part 3 covers his thoughts on how tipping actually incentivizes worse service over upselling or increasing turnover.

Yeah, I like the article but I am not sure how unbiased his opinions are. In my experience customers stayed longer and tipped more when servers or bartenders they liked were working. Generally that familiarity was from great, personalized service. My wife even had 10-15 regulars that came into her bar every sunday night and tipped the hell out of her. Once she left, they stopped coming.

 

Mind you alot of that doesnt apply to some of the surveys used for those articles. Going to a chain restaurant over 3-4 shifts and asking the customer to fill out a survey isnt going to really give the same data as places I have worked.

Edited February 19, 2015 by RockRaines

[Jenksismyhero]

I tip 17-18% as a standard. Maybe once in my life have I tipped like 2 bucks, and that was maybe the worst experience at a restaurant in my life (took forever to get service, wrong drink order, wrong food order, 45 minutes for the check, etc.). Similarly i've probably tipped more than 20% on only a few occasions, usually when drunk and too lazy to do the math.

 

At bars I find tipping asinine. Why should I give an extra dollar on an 8 dollar beer that a bartender spent 3 seconds pouring and 10 steps delivering? I still do it, begrudgingly, or I do the standard tip 5 bucks at the start and not tip again if i'm staying for a few drinks. If you're making me an actual drink, fine, maybe you deserve the tip, but not for beer.

[RockRaines]

Do you guys tip on take out orders?

[Jenksismyhero]

Do you guys tip on take out orders?

 

Nope.

 

edit: I take that back. I'll occasionally drop change in a tip jar if there is one. That's it though.

Edited February 19, 2015 by Jenksismybitch

[Chisoxfn]

Do you guys tip on take out orders?

I typically tip around 18%...that will go pretty low if service sucks and if it is outstanding it can go higher. It will also go higher if my wife and I split something so our bill is inherently cheaper for a table of our size (so they get fairly compensated for their time and service). When it comes to take-out I never do, although this is largely driven by the fact that most of the places I order take-out from (asian or pizza) aren't necessarily sit down places so if I ate their I wouldn't tip either (they'd drop my food off but not full service).

[RockRaines]

I almost always tip 10% for take out.

[Jenksismyhero]

I almost always tip 10% for take out.

 

Why? Who gets that extra 10%? You're just picking up your food.

[RockRaines]

Why? Who gets that extra 10%? You're just picking up your food.

The guys making it.

[witesoxfan]

The guys making it.

 

In any restaurant I've ever worked in, the cooks getting tipped is incredibly rare. Typically, they will factor in the cost of labor plus the cost of food plus overhead costs into the meal prices.

 

I was a line cook cumulatively for about 3-3.5 years all together, and I can count on two hands the number of times I was ever tipped out by servers.

 

EDIT: this is also why I'm always incredibly leery of an establishment selling a 6 oz sirloin or something like that for $8. To me, that reeks of poor quality food, grill marks, and a quick zap in the microwave.

[RockRaines]

In any restaurant I've ever worked in, the cooks getting tipped is incredibly rare. Typically, they will factor in the cost of labor plus the cost of food plus overhead costs into the meal prices.

 

I was a line cook cumulatively for about 3-3.5 years all together, and I can count on two hands the number of times I was ever tipped out by servers.

 

EDIT: this is also why I'm always incredibly leery of an establishment selling a 6 oz sirloin or something like that for $8. To me, that reeks of poor quality food, grill marks, and a quick zap in the microwave.

At the take out/delivery pizza place I worked at the tips for take out always went to the kitchen. That's probably why I do it today.

[pettie4sox]

I almost always tip 10% for take out.

 

You are a generous man.

[Soxbadger]

Yeah i always tip 20%+ after tax, but I dont tip on carry out.

[witesoxfan]

At the take out/delivery pizza place I worked at the tips for take out always went to the kitchen. That's probably why I do it today.

 

I guess I was thinking more of the carside pickups at restaurants where you would normally go and dine in. I can't talk for pizza or Chinese places as I've never worked those.

[southsider2k5]

Do you guys tip on take out orders?

 

Usually no, but it depends a lot on the place.

[GoodAsGould]

If they halved your salary and made the other half "commission" I bet your quality of work would be pretty high.

 

 

I was going based off the their salary going up to compensate no tips like the post rabbit replied too. In that case they should still be able to do their job fine like most of the world outside of our country does.

[RockRaines]

I was going based off the their salary going up to compensate no tips like the post rabbit replied too. In that case they should still be able to do their job fine like most of the world outside of our country does.

Everyone has some sort of carrot in front of them.

[RockRaines]

You are a generous man.

Maybe, its probably just from working my way through life from high school to college to after in college in service type jobs. I've just been there and I feel like I should always pay it back. I'm sure at times the people that get it dont deserve it, but I hope most of the time it gets where it needs to go. When I was bartending in LP in the early 2000's I was one of the only guys who used to tip out the kitchen, from that point on I have always said I would give what I had.

[RockRaines]

You are a generous man.

Maybe, its probably just from working my way through life from high school to college to after in college in service type jobs. I've just been there and I feel like I should always pay it back. I'm sure at times the people that get it dont deserve it, but I hope most of the time it gets where it needs to go. When I was bartending in LP in the early 2000's I was one of the only guys who used to tip out the kitchen, from that point on I have always said I would give what I had.

[RockRaines]

The funny thing I have a lot of friends that go out with me and many friends who worked in the industry and our tipping habits are very different from each other, in fact there is a huge dividing line. We almost always make up for the people who havent worked these jobs. I met my wife working in a bar which she did from age 18-30 and she is the biggest overtipper ever.

[Brian]

So I'm a plain old groomsman for my buddy's wedding in July. July 4th to be exact. Sigh.

 

I've never been one before. Do I have to do anything special before hand or am I just walking down the aisle, standing, walking back?

 

Do I have to get my own tux? I'm clueless.

[shipps]

So I'm a plain old groomsman for my buddy's wedding in July. July 4th to be exact. Sigh.

 

I've never been one before. Do I have to do anything special before hand or am I just walking down the aisle, standing, walking back?

 

Do I have to get my own tux? I'm clueless.

 

You are required to purchase all tuxedos for the party. Typically you should skip down the aisle in front of the bride in a traditional american wedding.

[LDF]

You are required to purchase all tuxedos for the party. Typically you should skip down the aisle in front of the bride in a traditional american wedding.

 

sometime, depending on the wedding traditions, the grooms men escort the guest to the seating in church.

 

sometimes grooms men have a little special toast with the groom before the wedding ceremony, a nice bottle of bubbly. it all depends on the elaborateness of the wedding.

 

i like to think, as a grooms men, what can i add to make this little special day a little more special without making a huge production of it.